One hundred and thirty-six days before
The week before Regulus left his family and Oklahoma and the rest of his minor left to go to boarding school in Louisiana, Andromeda insisted on throwing him a going-away party. To say that Regulus had low expectations would be an understatement. Although he invited the “many” friends he had, it was hard to have friendships with people when his parents had forbidden him to have friendships that lasted beyond school hours. Still, Andromeda had given him the chance to say goodbye, slightly convinced that Regulus had far more friends than he let on. She made a small mountain of French onion dip. There were a few haphazard streams decorating the room, in the same colours as his new school- blue and white. Andromeda had even printed a poster off the school’s website and tacked it to the wall.
And when that final Friday came when Regulus’ bags were all neatly packed, tucked into the corner of his room, Andromeda and Ted sat with Regulus on the couch just as the clock ticked over to 5 pm. They patiently waited for the arrival of the Good-bye to Regulus Black Cavalry that Andromeda was sure would come. Said cavalry ended up being a pair of twins: Pandora Rosier, a tiny girl with white braids that went down to her waist, and Evan, an overly tall boy, who had to crouch to fit through most doorways.
“Hi Regulus,” Pandora said as she sat down, tucking her long skirt under it so neither she nor anyone else would trip on it.
“Hey,” Regulus said.
“How was your summer?” Evan asked.
“Okay. And yours?”
“Good. We went to visit some family in France. We were the youngest there so we pretty much hung out alone the entire time.”
“That’s cool,” Regulus nodded and that about exhausted their conversational topics. Regulus might have asked more but 1. he didn’t really care and 2. small talk had never been one of his strengths. It was more Sirius’ expertise and Andromeda’s too, Regulus realised as she effortlessly took over the conversation so that there wasn’t a dull. She asked many questions about their trip; from how the weather was, to all the different sights she’d want to see there.
“It was hot-ish, we mostly spent time in the family home. We didn’t see much.” Evan was the kind of person to give very solid answers. He was hard to have a conversation with.
Finally, Pandora said, “Well, we just dropped by to say goodbye. We’ve got to be home for dinner by six. Good luck at boarding school,
Regulus.”
“Thank you.” Regulus was relieved. The only thing worse than having a party that didn’t have a single attendee was having a party that was only attended by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.
They left and so Regulus sat alone, with Ted on one side of him and Andromeda on the other, staring at the last photo of him and Sirius he remembers being taken. Regulus could feel Andromeda’s eyes burning into his head like she was waiting for him to burst into tears or something as if he didn’t know all along that this was exactly how it was going to go. Regulus could feel their pity as he scooped up a chunk of French onion dip with a chip intended for his imaginary friends. But he wasn’t disappointed, or upset. He had had such low expectations that really, by the twins coming, all his expectations had been met.
“Is this why you want to leave, Regulus?” Ted asked.
He mulled over that for a moment, allowing himself to eat his chip before responding, “Uh, no.”
“Well, why then?” This wasn’t the first time Andromeda had asked, not even close to it. Despite Regulus living with them for the past 5 years, Andromeda was still afraid that Regulus would turn back into the scared, broken 11-year-old she had met when he had been dropped off at her door.
“Is it because of Sirius?” Ted asked. Sirius, his older brother of 8 months, currently attended the same boarding school Regulus was about to set off to. It had been 5 years since Regulus had actually seen Sirius, with them being sent to different places when Child Services had removed them from their parent's care. But they had begun speaking again about a year ago. At first, by letters, then texting and phone calls when Regulus felt more comfortable. Sirius told such wonderful stories that Regulus and been left with feelings of both longing and selfishness. It sounded far better than his life in London. But no, it wasn’t because of Sirius. Not entirely.
“Hold on,” Regulus said. He went into his room, to the bookshelf of books he was leaving behind, grabbing the biography of François Rabelais. Regulus liked reading biographies of writers, even if there was a slim possibility of his actually reading their writing (as was the case with Monsieur Rabelais).
“So this guy,” spoke Regulus, having made his way back into the entry of the lounge. “François Rabelais. He was this poet. And his last words were ‘I go to seek a Great Perhaps.’ That’s why I’m going. So I don’t have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”
And that quieted them. Regulus was after a Great Perhaps (and a strong relationship with his brother) and they all knew that he wasn’t going to find it in the likes of Pandora and Evan. Regulus sat back down on the couch. Keeping his book on his lap. Andromeda put her arm around him, and Ted a moment after and they stayed like that for a long time. Until Regulus felt that it was okay to turn the TV, which he did so, grabbing another scoop of French onion dip on his way back. As going away party go, it certainly could have been worse.