Regulus and Sirius.
The two brothers of the Noble and Most Ancient House Of Black.
If one was dying the other would come to the rescue without a second thought.
They grew to live different lives and they inevitably died from the war, not the same half of it though. The war that began it all…
Regulus died in the first half like a hero trying to put an end to the war. Sirius fell behind the veil in the second half like a soldier falling in the midst of a battle. But Regulus wasn't a hero and Sirius wasn't a soldier. Heroes don't die at eighteen and soldiers don't spend twelve years in prison. For two boys who grew up in the same household, not many would see any similarities in the two of them, excluding their good looks. Runs in the family, some would say.
Some would see Sirius as the traitor who betrayed his family and some would see him as the boy who broke the Black pureblood tradition and joined the light. Some would see Regulus as the intelligent younger black who followed the Black traditions and some would see him as a boy who had the opportunity to escape the darkness but chose not to. The brother who chose to be evil, chose to take the dark mark and kill and torture innocent people. They could see him as vile and as vicious as his mother. They could see Sirius as bright and as radiant as James Potter.
But really, underneath it all, Sirius Orion Black was a broken boy who lost his little brother and found a new one in James Potter. Regulus Arcturus Black was a broken soul who lost his brother to the light and grew hate for anything to do with those who took his brother.
Sirius always said that Regulus was the favourite, a much better son. But no matter how much it was said, Regulus held no regard for such words. Simply because he believed it was not true. The Noble And Most Ancient House Of Black didn’t have favourites, Merlin no.
There were the followers and the rebels, there were heirs and spares, the tolerable and intolerable. Walburga and Orion Black certainly did not love their children enough (if at all) to have a favourite.
No, never. If either of the Black brothers were even close to being their parents favourite, it would be Sirius. It would always be Sirius, if anyone were to ask Regulus.
Why, though?
Why on earth, after all Sirius had done to betray them and join the order, would Regulus even think that Sirius of the two of them was the ‘favourite’?
A complex question with a simple answer.
Sirius was born first, he was the heir, not Regulus. Never in his parent’s eyes, no matter how hard he tried to be perfect. Sirius was the heir and he always would be to their parents, even after leaving and fighting against them. And Regulus was born second, he was the backup, the irrelevant spare, and he always would be. Even after Sirius left and was burned from the family tapestry, even after Regulus took on the duties of the Black heir, he never once felt like it. Even then, he was still reminded that he was back up, the last resort, the second choice. While Sirius was the fucking heir. Sirius killed so many of their own, yet his parents continuously wrote to him asking him to join them again, that all would be forgiven and forgotten if he just ‘came back home where he belonged’.
It wasn't the fact that Sirius was born first that made him the favourite, it was because his parents tried harder with him than they did with Regulus. It was because they always seemed to care in some sick way what Sirius was up to, whether he would be coming back to them. But if it were Regulus who ran away, they wouldn’t notice, not until it was on the front page of the Daily Prophet in big bold letters or something, perhaps.
One thing the two brothers had in common was the desire to be loved. They loved each other, of course but that sick, twisted brotherly love wasn’t the kind they seeked. Sirius got everything he needed when he left for Hogwarts on that damned train with his new found friends, his new family. Sirius found and received everything he lost or never got.
He lost a brother in Regulus and found another in James Potter.
He never had loving parents but he found some in Euphemia and Fleamont.
He didn't get to make any decent friends stuck in that house but he found a family in the ones he made at school.
Regulus, however…
Regulus’ was a different story.
Maybe he could have gotten a better ending. Maybe he might have even joined the light. But in a world where Sirius had left, Regulus had to fulfil his purpose and take his place. He had to become the heir for Sirius to live life as he wanted. He wanted to go with Sirius that night, he desperately did, and he knew Sirius wanted him to go. But he also knew the wrath of their parents. And he knew the people Sirius loved and cared about would get hurt by Walburga and Orion if both of them were to go.
Their parents would stop at nothing to get one of them back, just so they would have an heir
So why not just stay and prevent that from happening altogether so his brother could get what he deserved, love and a life he’d be proud of in the end?
Sirius always took beatings for him, he was so sure at the young age of fourteen, that he could do this for Sirius. So he stayed, refusing to cry, he pushed Sirius’ hand away from his arm and told him “No.”
That he couldn’t go. And it was true, because in order for Sirius to be happy, Regulus had to stay. And how could Regulus go when he knew it would end in disaster for them both if he did?
He told himself, it’s for Sirius.
When Regulus received the mark, he told himself again, it’s for Sirius.
When Regulus decided to not only plot against the dark lord but enter that cave, he told himself yet again, it’s for Sirius (and Kreacher this time).
And then when he felt the freezing water begin to flow around him and a thousand hands and arms dragging him in, he told himself for the very last time, it’s for Sirius.
He was the younger brother yet, selfishly, sometimes he felt like he sacrificed more for Sirius than Sirius did for him.
But then those thoughts would die away as a new day of death, darkness and demons came.
There was no fixing Sirius and Regulus. Two pieces of the same puzzle, but every edge was torn and chipped away at. Two brothers who never stopped loving each other, who were too defeated by life to find each other once they were lost. Sirius was Regulus’ light in the dark, but Regulus was Sirius’ light as well. And when those lights blew out, neither found their way to each other ever again. Their home was always each other, but neither Sirius nor Regulus tried to find their way back to each other.
And if James Potter had a panic attack and cried just as hard as Sirius and fell into a deep depression a month later when the death of the Black heir was announced on the news, well, nobody mentioned it, not out loud at least.