Chapter 5
It hadn’t taken very long for some of his older friends to find out that he was now going to college. They were only about a month and a half into the year and one of his dearest friends had found him. Mary Macdonald. Mary was a former student in Hogwarts, she’s now an art student. The art building was right next to Hogwarts, so Mary had found him easily.
James loved Mary, she is one of his closest friends. They met about the same time Sirius and him met.
Right after James and Lily broke up, Mary was the one there for Lily while Sirius was with James. James had always appreciated Mary being there for Lily. So when Lily told him that she thinks she likes girls they broke up. And it was Lily's choice, if it had been up to James they would still be together right now. But they stayed close friends after, and it’s been almost a year since the end of things.
Now Mary was sitting right next to James with Sirius across the table sitting next to Marlene. They were drinking slushies and talking.
James had found out that Marlene was super funny and had great style. She was also on the soccer team. Sirius loved Marlene instantly and it was very clear.
The moment he saw Marlene with multiple piercings and red lipstick he swore he saw Sirius’s eyes pop out of his head. Marlene ended up giving Sirius a makeover, which Sirius accepted obviously. Marlene put on black eyeliner and smudged it in Sirius’s eye, she also pulled out a pair of black sunglasses out of her red bag and put them in Sirius. James had to admit, Sirius looked awesome. Mary was just sitting there and applying some lip gloss while talking about her new girlfriend, Emmeline.
“ you look fabulous now”
Marlene said, smirking and handing Sirius her mirror. Sirius’s mouth hangs open, then he smiled so big the ends of his mouth touched his ears.
Afterwards Sirius went with Mary to the art building and James told Marlene he would show her the rink.
James spent the walk back to campus talking about how he knew Mary for a long time and how most of his friends moved away because they weren’t really sports people. Marlene said that most of her friends had also moved and went to other colleges. She also talked about her girlfriend, Dorcas.
Dorcas seemed nice, or that’s the way Marlene talked about her. When Marlene talks about Dorcas it makes James remember he doesn’t have a lover, it makes James jealous but also sad. He wishes someone would just accept him for who he is. When Lily broke up with him he asked her
why am I never good enough?
The words rang in his ears and he swallowed hard.
Marlene snapped him out of his trance to let him know they were there.
When James and Marlene entered the rink he saw a familiar head of dark curls. The boy twirled and flew on the ice like an angel. It was regulus. He was wearing a black tight bodysuit, his eyes were closed and his slim hands outstretched. God he was beautiful. Suddenly he went from a sharp pain in his stomach to a fluttering. Marlene had walked away, probably looking around the locker rooms.
But right now he couldn’t care less about Marlene, he was too busy staring at Regulus. Oh Regulus, what have you done to me…
James didn’t know what was happening to him, all he knew was that Regulus was the most gorgeous human he had ever seen.
James blinked and then Regulus was standing right in front of James, his grey eyes staring into James’s soul.
“James?”
Regulus broke the silence with a question.
“Hey”
James’s heart was jumping in his chest because the corners of Regulus mouth had slightly turned up. Gosh, his smile.
“I have to go”
Regulus pushed past James and sat down on the bench to unlace his skates. His fingers pulled the strings of his skates and undid the perfect bow sitting on top. Jesus, James wanted his fingers holding his, and he wanted Regulus’s fingers touching his neck and his chest and-
“So when's your competition?”
James had to cut himself off before his thoughts consumed him. He had an idea of what this was but he wasn’t sure.
“Two weeks ish, why?”
“I was wondering if I could go. ''
Regulus looked up at him, lips slightly parted.
“If that’s okay with you of course” James laughed
“sure”
“sure?”
“Yeah, sure. Can I get your number?”
James stomach swooped, why did Regulus want his number?
“Why?”
James asked with his eyebrows raised
“So I can text you the information?”
Oh right that’s why Regulus wanted his number, no other reason. James gave regulus his number and then he walked off just like that.
Marlene came running from the lockers laughing.
“Who’s that?” She said giggling pointing to the door Regulus just walked out of.
“A friend,”
James smiled. Marlene had a girlfriend, maybe he could ask her. James swallowed.
“Hey Marlene, when did you know you liked girls?”
Marlene gave him a soft look and realized what he was asking.
“I suppose I knew my whole life, or at least since I was 9 or 10”
“oh”
“James, it’s ok. I’ve been through this. So who’s the lucky guy?”
James didn’t answer, he just stared at the floor and he felt his heart pick up. Marlene put her arm over his body and let James’s head rest on her shoulder. He felt the tears prick at his eyes. He didn’t know Marlene very well, but he knew he could trust her.
_______________
James returned back to the dorm not feeling his best. He just didn’t feel himself, he felt like crying again. But Sirius was having the time of his life, so he acted like he was alright.
James spent the whole night talking to Sirius and calling his mom and dad, they were missing him.
Even after all of the good things that happened today, he still felt miserable.
He felt like rotting in his bed and sleeping nonstop, which isn’t normal for James. He’s usually up and running and he can’t get his brain to shut up about Lily. Now his brain won’t shut up about Regulus. Regulus and his eyes, regulus and his smile, regulus and his cute grumpy personality. God James loved his little insults that he spat out to James. How could he possibly like Regulus? He had just met him last month, how? Suddenly the words rang in his head again.
Why am I never enough?
Would he be enough for regulus? Or was he too much to handle? James had always been too much for everyone, even for his best friend sometimes. He just hopes that he will be just enough for Regulus.
***
Regulus has been followed the whole bloody day. Barty crouch jr has been constantly bugging him.
Now he and Barty were friends in high school, Barty was a year ahead of Regulus and playing soccer for the school team.
Regulus had wished Evan was here, he would have told Barty to fuck off. Not that Regulus didn’t tell Barty to fuck off, because he did multiple times. But Evan would actually make it happen. Evan and Barty have been dating for a while now, they started dating in their last year of high school. Regulus was so relieved when they did get together, they had been flirting for the past four years.
Now regulus wasn’t telling barty to fuck off because he didn’t want to be his friend or whatever. But more so that he could stop hearing bartys voice ring through his ears.
“Where’s your boyfriend?”
“Oh Evans out with Pandora right now”
“Wait, Pandora’s here?”
Regulus was extremely happy to hear her name. Pandora was his best friend, he and Dora had known each other for the longest time. Pandora decided to go to a very fancy art school in California with her new girlfriend Lily.
“Yeah Dora and her new girlfriend decided to come up”
regulus smiled to himself and wiped out his phone.
Dora
I didn’t know you were up
Yeah it was kinda last
Minute, where are you I want
To meet up?
I’m on campus but where are you?
I’m on a date with lils
But can we meet later?
Yeah does 11 tomorrow work?
Yes I’ll see you there reg!!
Regulus smiled but then wiped his head around to see Barty reading his texts right over his shoulder. God this kid.
“Gods, do you have anything better to do?”
“No I really don’t”
Regulus slipped his phone back into his jacket pocket but stopped halfway because he saw that head of dark long curls walking down the halls.
Sirius made eye contact with him for a split second, he was only looking at Sirius until he saw the red shirt and blue jeans. James. James was walking with his brother. Regulus felt a sharp pain hit his stomach. Shit. James turned his head and stopped talking, he stared at Regulus. Those big brown eyes looked as hopelessly beautiful as ever. The pain was replaced with soft butterflies in his stomach instead.
James and Sirius walked away but the two different feelings stayed in his stomach. He was very confused. Why was James with Sirius, or why was Sirius with James?
He stayed up the whole night thinking of why Sirius was there. He knew he had to interact with him at least once in the year. It was impossible not to, considering classes and he was pretty sure Sirius played hockey so the rink was another possibility. Regulus just moved it out of his mind and very slowly went to sleep.