Dying
James ran as far as he could and he ended up outside the castle and on the field outside the school. Pressing his back against the tree he found he was by he began to try calming his breathing. Scratching at the cuts that had just closed and causing them to bleed again. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath, his brain was a whirlwind of thoughts. Of course they didn’t want someone as damaged as him. Why would they. They’d be better off without him. Everyone would be better off without him, without his burdens. He wasn’t calming himself down in fact he was only winding himself up more. He needed someone but who did he have now? No one. He felt hands on him. Who’d be touching him? Afraid it was snape again James jerked back. Someone was running hands through his hair in a calming manner, that couldn’t be snape. His hand on someone’s chest. ‘Breathe with me’ he heard someone say. He tried. He really was but once again he wasn’t enough. He was dying. Everything hurt. If he was dying maybe it was for the best. Who’d miss him? Choking sobs were coming from him and he couldn’t help it. He felt broken and no one can fix him. He has lovely parents and a family who love him who don’t abuse him or ignore him. His parents love him, he’s so selfish to believe that his partners would love him after seeing something like that. Calming hands rubbed his back and after what felt like years he began to make out two figures in front of him. Red hair and the other person had stormy Grey eyes filled with concern. He didn’t deserve the concern of these two beautiful people. Lily and regulus his brain supplied. “Hey love, you back with us darling?” Regulus’ voice came through the fog in his mind. James blinked and tried to focus and say something but only a whimper came out. How pathetic. He could have died with shame. When regulus scooped him up and carried him back to the room of requirement where it was warmer. James was prepared to be broken up with. Instead, they helped him to get into some comfortable pjs and all three curled up in a James sandwich.
When morning broke he was between his partners feeling so safe and loved that he began to cry. Hands immediately stroked his hair and brushed his tears away and another set wrapped around him and pulled him close. “There we go darling. Let it out okay. You’re safe here with us” and James just cried for what felt like hours. He sat and cried, sobbing hysterically and gradually his sobs turned to whimpers and then nothing. “Sweetheart, do you think you can tell us why you’ve been doing this? We’re not annoyed or disappointed. I promise” lily’s voice this time. Regulus nodded as well. James swallowed. “I’ve been everyone’s sun and therapist. I just felt like I needed a coping mechanism and while I know it’s not healthy, it’s been working. I feel so unlovable though now so it backfired. I tried to make myself so you’d keep loving me but that backfired and I’m ready to leave once you’ve spoken to me.” James took a breath. “Oh sweetheart” regulus pulled him into his lap. “We’re here for you to talk to and rant to. Your scars are part of you and you’re beautiful and we love you so we love them too darling, how about we show you how loved and beautiful you are?” Lily said. After James nodded. Regulus began kissing his neck and switched around to his lips. Kissing was James favourite thing to do, he tensed up when Lily moved his Tshirt up slightly. She hesitated. “May I?” “Yes” taking off his Tshirt regulus and Lily spent plenty of time kissing over his scars both new and old and kissing James lips. Regulus reached for his boxers and trousers “may i?” “Uh…yes..I think” regulus nodded. “Let us know if something isn’t okay darling” pulling down his boxers and trousers even more scars faced him. Regulus spent time kissing those before he even acknowledged James erection. Grabbing his erection gently he began to suck James into his mouth. James had never felt anything so good, regulus mouth was warm and wet around his cock and Lily was kissing his neck and playing with his nipples and balls. He felt his orgasm approaching, regulus sucked his way up James’ cock and played with his slit at the same time Lily tweaked a nipple and squeezed his balls and that tipped him over the edge he came down regulus’ throat with a cry of their names. They relaxed together as the other two ignored the arousal coursing through them. “Sleep our love. We love you” regulus said and Lily nodded and James relaxed. “Love you both too” and with that for the first time in years James slept naked with his partners. Regulus and Lily exchanged eye contact. There would be more to deal with tomorrow but for now he felt loved and that was enough.