Two
The Mauraders
Padfoot
I think I need to go to the healer.
Moony
the regular healer can’t fix that head, padfoot
you need a specialized mind-healer
Wormy
I second that
Prongs
i third that
Padfoot
Thank you so much for all of your heartwarming concern
No really, it just makes me all warm and gooey inside
Moony
why thank you pads
Prongs
now
what is it this time
Padfoot
Why, thank you so much for asking, James
You are a true friend
Yes, back to me
I think I caught something at the pub last night.
Wormy
an std ????
Prongs
what ???
SIRIUS BLACK
Moony
get to the healer, asap
Prongs
HOW MANY TIMES??
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO WRAP IT UP ??
ANSWER ME SIRIUS
Padfoot
what no
no
Moony
go to the healer, NOW
i’m serious
Padfoot
No, moony that’s not
no I didn’t
Wormy
when did you even hook up last night??
because you were near regulus and his friends the entire time
Prongs
YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS A JOKE????
YOU WAIT WHERE YOU ARE WE ARE GOING TO ST MUNGOS
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU
Padfoot
I DIDN’T
Prongs
THEN WHY DO HAVE AN STD??
FFS SIRIUS HOW MANY TIMES DID MUM TEACH YOU ABOUT SAFE SEX??
Padfoot
DON’T BRING MUM INTO THIS!
AND I DIDN’T GET AN STD YOU DUMB FUCK
Prongs
oh
then why do you need the healer
Moony
oh thank merlin
Wormy
whats wrong then
Padfoot
Thank you for thinking so highly of me
no, really you guys brighten up my day up every time
🙄
I think I need a healer because I'm pretty sure I must have hit my head somewhere
I don't know when
There is no pain
But there must have been some knocking
Prongs
i don't remember any head injuries
also
wasn't dad oiling your hair yesterday
he would've noticed bruises
Moony
what kind of head injury pads ?
Padfoot
The kind that has made me lose my mind
Wormy
so ur basically having a revelation
is that it
Padfoot
No.
I told you.
I'm injured.
I need to get tested or some shit
Moony
what kind of revelation??
Prongs
never heard of a head hurting after thinking
maybe it’s a muggle thing???
pads is it like a bug inside your head?
Padfoot
I am thinking about obscene scenarios
Moony
huh??
Prongs
like dirty thoughts??
sirius
i told you many times
it's okay to think that your friends are hot
remus and peter don't mind
spare lily tho
Wormy
he's on his bullshit again ffs
Padfoot
I TOLD YOU THERE HAS TO BE A HEAD INJURY
I JUST HAVE IT OKAY
SERIOUSLY WHAT’S WITH THE CROSS QUESTIONS
Moony
where would you even hit your head
Prongs
yeah
its not like we've gotten into any tiffs recently
Wormy
why would you suddenly think u need a head injury
just yestrday you were bangin on about reggie's friends
wait
wasn’t
wait
hmmm
Prongs
what
pete??
what
answer me peter
Moony
he doesn't have any injury ffs
Padfoot
Um.. excuse me??
How would you know??
When did you get your healer certification??
I’m telling you, there’s something wrong with me
Prongs
Pads if its serious lets go to st mungos
Moony
oh there is something wrong with you alright
it just isn’t a fabricated head injury
Wormy
really pads
this again
Prongs
what
WHAT
WILL SOMEBODY PLS TELL ME WHATS GOING ON
Padfoot
What are you talking about?
What is this ghastly feeling then?
Wormy
SDHFJHGGFYUEW
THIS IS GOLD
Moony
you have a crush, dipshit
congratulations
Prongs
hwgdtuwefoiwgekgnje
WHAT
Padfoot
What.
Ew.
what the fuck
no
absolutely not
Prongs
on whom?
who is it
padfoot ???
Padfoot
I don’t have a crush on her, ffs
ur just ridiculous
Wormy
though
ig its going to be a bit of a tough road mate
Moony
agreed
Prongs
I’m coming over with drinks !!
We need to celebrate
moony and pete get the food
Padfoot
stop
you guys are wrong
WRONG
I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH
WHAT
YOU THINK THAT I’D SUDDENLY TURN AROUND AND REALISE THAT I LIKED HER
As if I’d fall for someone who wouldn’t be interested in me
Wormy
I don’t think u’d get that far, tbh
Prongs
how many cans of beer do u guys want
Moony
I agree with wormtail
u don’t need to worry about her liking you back pads
cause you’d be dead before that
Padfoot
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUUUUUUTTTT UUUPPPPP
Prongs
what
why
Wormy
because regulus would kill him
Prongs
why would regulus kill
wait
pads
PADFOOT
ANSWER ME
PADS????
Moony
idiot won’t reply now
Wormy
meet u guys at padfoot’s flat at 2
Prongs
yes pls
Green is the new sexy🍃
( slytherin girlies 🐍)
Leah
bella needs a haircut fr
Ari
i second that
Cissy
I third that
Dromy
I fourth that
Tasbeeh
I fifth that
Bella
all of u go fuck urself
except u bby
come fuck me
Dromy
tmi bells
tmi
Cissy
‘married women’
pls
stfu
u guys can’t talk about s-e-x in this gc
Ari
how’s the first day of the honeymoon, babe
having fun??
Leah
wine?
Bella
sex?
Dromy
all of the above, thank u
so glad we eloped
Tasbeeh
best part of ur wedding was when we sneaked out of Hogwarts in bridesmaid dresses and got smashed at the bar
well
u guys got smashed
I recorded it
Cissy
last night was fuuunnn
those gryffindors sure know how to party
Ari
I dunno what the best part was
cissy taking a shot off peter pettigrew’s chest
or our excellent rendition of dancing queen
I’ve got to say
lily evan’s got some moves
Bella
what was wrong with sirius tho
Leah
maybe he gets emotional at weddings
Ari
funny story
reggie’s phone was off for a couple of hours yesterday
so u know how we give each others numbers to close family members in case of an emergency?
ig sirius couldn’t reach him and texted me
god im such a jerk
Cissy
why
Bella
what happened
Ari
I knew who it was and i kept on messing with him out of pettiness
Leah
hdgchsjdgfh
what
Tasbeeh
LMFAOOOOOO
Dromy
look at her being a mature woman
would have loved to see siri's face
Cissy
🤣🤣🤣
Bella
go girl
serves him right for hurting ur feelings tho
Ari
I WAS 11 !!
THAT WAS 6 YRS AGO
Leah
love the fact that u don’t care about ur own cousin, babe
also fuck sirius
we all shit on sirius in this house
Ari
guys please
not this shit every year
i'm over it
y'all please be over it too
Dromy
again people,
as much as I want to chat
I have a needy husband beckoning me back to bed
so…….
toodles
Ari
u go girl !!
Tasbeeh
go get that vitamin ‘D’
Leah
give me a niece !!
Cissy
🤢 🤮
Bella
🤢 🤮
Dromy
🖕 😘