One
ONE
Unknown number
The fuck kind of party is this?
Are you taking the piss, rn?
+44-7584122742
Excuse me?
Unknown number
This isn’t funny, you prick.
I brought my friends here.
You said it would be fun.
THIS is boring as fuck.
+44-7584122742
I'm sorry, what?
Unknown number
Are you serious right now?
+44-7584122742
who tf are you???
wait
are you soliciting sex?? Is that what it is????
who asks for sex this aggressively?
no wonder you get ghosted instead for getting laid
Unknown number
What. The. Fuck.
This is not funny.
I’m leaving, you useless piece of shit.
+44-7584122742
Now, now, grandpa.
Tbh if you go to a sex club and you have to CALL someone to hook-up, I think the problem is you
Have you tried asking nicely?
Unknown number
What is up with you?
Are you high?
Since when do you talk like that?
You don’t even like the word ‘sex’ in your vicinity
+44-7584122742
Um..excuse me?
I’ll have you know I grew up in a very sex-positive household
My mum even told me that I was conceived due to muggle valentine’s day
Unknown number
OMG
Really?
Ur mum sounds cool
Wait
Your mum?
+44-7584122742
Istg if u make a ‘your mum’ joke mate
If ur old enough to go to sex clubs ur old enough to not make ‘your mum’ jokes
Unknown number is typing……………
+44-7584122742
👀
Unknown number
No, it’s just..
There is no way she would have said that
You are not my brother, are you?
+44-7584122742
You were texting your brother?
Huh
Are you really this rude in real life that even your brother ghosts you?
Unknown number
Really?
You don’t sound like a walk in the park either, sweetheart.
+44-7584122742
Gross.
Don’t call me sweetheart, pervert
Do you have an in-built female detector or something?
Wait
Oh for fuck’s sake
Lockhart, if this is you I will force sterilize you and make you watch while I have a hippogriff eat your balls
Unknown number
Merlin’s tits.
Wait
LOCKHART?????
YOU THINK I AM LOCKHART???
+44-7584122742
Aren’t you?
Unknown number
FOR THE LOVE OF-
I have never been so insulted in my entire life.
And my entire family hates me.
+44-7584122742
I guess that's valid.
You're not Lockhart, huh?
Lemme guess
Gryffindor?
Unknown number
Yes.
And considering Lockhart harasses a considerable portion of the witch population in the UK, I have no idea what house you are
You sound like a gryffindor too
+44-7584122742
Ew.
Unknown number
EW????
Oh ffs
Just my luck to be talking to a slytherin
+44-7584122742
Ughh
Whatever, prick
Who was it you were trying to talk to anyway?
If they are a slytherin I might know them
Unknown number
Oh you will know them all right
+44-7584122742
Who?
Unknown number
Regulus Black.
The uglier black brother.
+44-7584122742
I’m telling him you said that
Wait
Uglier brother?
SIRIUS????
Unknown number
So you know me, huh?
Female, slytherin, ………Please tell me you are not cissy
+44-7584122742
Look at the inbred feeling disgusted that he called his cousin ‘sweetheart’.
No, I’m not Cissy, asshole.
And thank your lucky stars for that.
Unknown number
Are you that 6th year who sent Peter the maggots?
If so, I’ll have you know he’s not a creep
He’s just in love.
He has certainly understood his boundaries now.
The maggots were a nice touch though. I’m proud.
+44-7584122742
I’ll let Tasbeeh know that you feel that.
Also, tell pettigrew his rendition of “ What is Love” sucks
Maybe if he sang nicer his ‘baby’ wouldn’t hurt him
Unknown number
Ouch.
That’s my best friend.
+44-7584122742
I had no idea !!
OMG really???
Have you known him for quite long?
What are both of your last names?
Unknown number
This brand of sarcasm can only be the outcome of overexposure to my brother.
Hello, Ari.
+44-7584122742
Hello, Sirius.
Unknown number
I cannot believe this
Why are both of your numbers the same except for the last two digits?
+44-7584122742
We got our SIM cards together.
Speaking of, why are you asking your brother to meet you at a sex club?
If this is you trying to bond it’s going to backfire heavily
Reggie doesn’t do sex-clubs.
Unknown number
Why would I-
No.
I’m at Hogsmeade.
That idiot was supposed to meet me there so that we could go to London.
+44-7584122742
The poetry reading?
Barty’s?
Why??
Save yourself and get the hell out of there.
Unknown number
Regulus said Crouch has a passion for literature.
He also said that he was very good.
+44-7584122742
Regulus thinks Barty’s breathing is the sound of the bells of heaven.
Don’t take his words about Barty too seriously.
Look, I’m telling you
Save yourself. Take your friends and leave.
Unknown number
But I promised him I would be there.
Also, isn’t crouch one of your friends?
Are you supposed to be this mean to him?
+44-7584122742
That was me doing my duty as a fellow human being.
However, Suit yourself.
Just don’t say afterward that I didn’t warn u
Unknown number
Why don’t you have my number?
You have known me for almost 7 years
+44-7584122742
Why don’t YOU have MY number, is the better question
Also,
I don’t save the contacts of people I don’t talk to.
Unknown number
Ouch, sweetheart.
+44-7584122742
Ew.
You know what
+44-7584122742 has saved Unknown number as ‘Black (derogatory)’
There.
Unknown number has saved +44-7584122742 as ‘Sweetheart <3’
Black (derogatory)
Thank you, darling.
You warm my cold, dead heart.
Sweetheart <3
I hope you stomp barefoot on a Lego.
(Black Brothers🖕🏻)
Regulus
Thank you for coming to the poetry reading.
Not many appreciate Barty’s raw talent.
Sirius
Of course.
His writings are quite……….interesting
Speaking of which, who taught him to rhyme disco with San francisco?
Regulus
He watches a lot of Bollywood with Ari.
He gets most of his ideas from the amazing pen game of the songwriters.
Sirius
Wonderful.
I hope your boyfriend is very successful in his future endeavors.
Regulus
Thank you.
Also, he is not my boyfriend.
Just because I am passionate about his interests doesn’t make him my boyfriend.
Sirius
Why are you lying to yourself?
Regulus
It makes my life easier.
Sirius
Sure, whatever you say, big guy
You guys get a kick out of complicating lives, huh?
Regulus
Look who's talking
Wait
I was meaning to ask
Why was Ari mad at you?
Were you pulling her hair again?
Sirius
I would have gathered she tells you whatever happens
Why ask me?
Regulus
She’s asleep and didn't have a chance to ask her.
Tell me
What did you do?
Sirius
Why would I do anything?
Can’t I chat with an acquaintance I have known for several years?
You didn’t have a problem with it at Walburga’s funeral
Regulus
That was different.
Just… Don’t antagonize my best friend, Sirius.
Sirius
I would never, brother
Don’t you trust me?
On second thought
Don’t answer that
Regulus
You promised to not bother her.
My best friend is off-limits.
Sirius
Does darling Ari know that you treat her with kid gloves?
Jokes aside
You need to give it a break
ffs regulus we are almost adults now
I’m serious
She can make her own choices on what to do and who to hang out with
Regulus
Darling?
The fuck?
Sirius
What?
Regulus
Don’t call her pet names, arse.
I’ll find you and gut you if you do
Brother or not
Sirius
…………… lol.
Don't be so dramatic, brother
She is not a child, is she?
I can call her whatever I want.
Regulus
What?
No, you can’t.
Sirius, I’m serious.
You promised to stay away from my friends.
Sirius
What am I, the plague?
Stay away from your friends?
I’m not pulling pranks anymore, am I?
Why do you need to make a big fuss out of nothing?
Regulus
You know why.
Sirius
You know what?
Fuck that.
I’m not in school anymore.
Plus, the deadline expires any day now
Regulus
No, Sirius
You wouldn’t dare.
You promised me!
Sirius
That promise expires at the legal age.
Thank you for your time, brother.
I’ll call to confirm the ring size later.
Regulus
What.
Sirius
Bye, bye.
Regulus
NO
NO
I SWEAR ON SALAZAR YOU TAKE ONE STEP-
I’LL EVISCERATE YOU
YOU HEAR ME
Sirius
Xoxo, kisses, muahhhhhh
Regulus
No!
Sirius
Sweet Dreams!
Hottest people in Hogwarts
(High blood pressure👀)
(Brains: Reggie, Brawns: Ari, Boobs: Barty, Beauty: Evan)
Brawns
Mate
What made u so mad that u flushed ur phone down the toilet?
Beauty
definitely candy crush
Boobs
candy crsh
Brains
It was one letter?
Just say ‘crush’
Brawns
crsh
Beauty
crsh
Boobs
crsh 😘
Brawns
not this again.
🙄🙄
Beauty
Speaking of, why was James Potter talking to u at the pub???
Brains
Yes, I’d like to know too
Brawns
I don't know???
he just walked up to me and bam
just started talking about how much he misses his mum’s cooking now that she’s in india for the year
we just talked about our mums
Boobs
sus
Brawns
anything those gryffindors do is sus to u
Brains
I think they’re up to something
Beauty
oh ffs
not again
Brawns
I’m sick of these conspiracy theories every year, reggie
The marauders have graduated
Those fucking pranks are over
Boobs
he can be r8, yk
those guys are hella sus
Brawns
It was one convo, people !!
call me stupid but I hardly think james potter is trying to get info out of us by talking about his mum's spondylitis
Boobs
sus
Beauty
and if anything, its sirius we should look out for
Brawns
why
Brains
Exactly
Let's avoid Sirius from now on
Beauty
because he had a weird gleam in his eye while looking at us
Boobs
u mean his eye ✨✨
nah
that’s reggie
Brains
You think my eyes sparkle?
Barty???
Beauty
moving on from that pathetic attempt at flirting
I didn’t like the way he looks at us
I’m keeping an eye on him
Brawns
u guys need to chill fr
Brains
He… might have a point
Brawns
that’s ur brother, babe
have some trust?
Brains
Nah, I’m good
Boobs
like i sayd
sus
Brawns
ffs
Jsyk, I’m tired of obsessing over what reggie’s brother is up to every year
We only have a few months left
Let's have fun and not scheme for once, okay?
Beauty
But u love scheming
U said scheming keeps you alive
Brawns
Let’s scheme about better things then
I’d rather not get teased by the black sisters about some guy again
ykwim
Brains
Exactly
She’s right
Fuck my brother.
On second thoughts
@Brawns please don’t fuck my brother
Boobs
LMFAOOOOOOO
Brains
Die.