The Year 1812 – Solemn Overture, Op. 49
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
-Sarah Williams (1837–68)
Regulus remembers clearly his first time walking through the gates of the asylum.
He was brought in by his mother. She had the coachman bring them to the gates of the place. No matter Regulus's protests, she held his elbow tight and dragged him through the doors. Her grip was hard, and her nails dug into the skin, drawing blood. She pushed open the doors, still dragging him behind her. Not much was said before Regulus was being tugged in the same way by an attendant, down the hall and into a room. Once inside the door was locked behind him and all he had was himself and the room.
The place was bare apart from a small bed in the corner and a window covered in bars. Regulus picked himself up and placed himself on the bed. It was rough, you’d think it was a bench with how stiff it was. Hours pass by. The only thing Regulus can do is sit there. The only thing He can think about is how much he might suffer. He doesn't want this. He wants to go home. He wants to curl up by the fireplace and write a poem about James’ eyes. But he can’t.
It's dark when a man walks in.
—
“How do we get through the gates?” James stood still in front of the tall old rusted gates to an asylum where his lover had been locked.
“James,” Pandora sighed, “You’re a ghost.”
“Yeah, we established that a few minutes ago,” James walked to the gates and tugged on the chains but his hands went right through.
“Oh,” He’d have to get used to that. It had never occurred to James that things might change now that he knew of his fate. That he might have to move on and leave Regulus behind until the day they can finally be reunited in death. But for now, he’ll save Regulus. That comes first above all.
“How my little brother likes you is beyond me,” Sirius appeared right next to James and looked up at the gates. James remembers the promise he made to Sirius. That he wouldn't hurt Regulus. But he broke it. Because this is hurting Regulus beyond what he thought he was capable of. Sirius’ words had been a warning, not the gentle guidance from an older sibling. James wants to say something. He wants to apologise.
“Sirius-” James starts.
“James.” Before James could continue Sirius took him by the arm and through the gates to the stairs leading toward the entrance. As they ascended, James turned to see that Pandora had gone. Disappeared. He’d never get used to that. Once they reached the doors, they walked through them and Sirius led them down the hall. A spiral of stairs stood ahead of them. Brilliant more stairs. Sirius let out a quiet huff. “Okay let's go get our lovers.” James blindly follows him up the first flight. “Our lovers?” James questions. Sirius just shrugs, “You're not the only one who’s had someone locked in a place they can't escape.” Sirius has a mischievous look in his eyes. “Two birds, one stone” James mumbles.
“Exactly.”
—
It's dark when a man walks in.
Regulus is never bothered at this time of night. Usually, the matrons only appear every two hours. The last time they checked up on him was at 11 pm (he thinks, the lack of clocks is frustrating) But it's 11:30 and no one should be coming into the room. He sits up in his bed. “Hello?”
The man didn't answer. Only grabbing the sheets and ripping them away from Regulus’ body. Regulus feels his elbow seized and pulled. He tumbles out of bed, not a thought of being able to escape in the haste of it all. It reminds him of his mother. How she dragged him here on his first day. The parallels of it all remind Regulus that it might be his last day. He doesn't know if he should be hopeful or scared that maybe the last day doesn't mean free.
It's too dark for him to see where he is going. He may have tripped a few times, one of them being over a dead rat in the hallway. It just gets darker as they keep walking. Regulus isn't sure that's possible but perhaps now it is. Darker. Darker. Darkness
—
Please be alive. Please be alive. Please be alive. Those are the only thoughts in Sirius’ head as he walks down the hallway where he knows Remus will be sleeping. It is so dark. James is just feeling along the walls to help direct them where they need to go. It was so silent. Any move they made would echo around the entire place. Sirius turned a corner. James struggled to catch up at Sirius’ speed. One more corner and they were there. A metal door stood in front of them, big numbers written on the door and a hatch for food. Sirius rummaged around in his jacket pockets searching for something. Something light and metallic made a jingling sound. Sirius fished the keys out of his pockets.
“How’d you manage to snatch those?” James asked.
“I’m a ghost, no one saw. Plus have you met me? I can take anything and no one would be the wiser.” Sirius managed to get the door to swing open and as soon as it did he pushed it open in a hurry and ran in. Remus was lying in bed, his hair in funny spots and a thin layer of sweat covered his skin. Sirius brought his hands to Remus’ cheeks.
“Rem,” a whisper, “Wake up for me, love.”
Remus has scars on his face, bruises on his arms and blood on his clothes. The sight breaks Sirius’ heart. Remus blinks and life is brought back into his features. With a gasp, he’s crying in Sirius’ arms.
“What did they do to you, my love?” His voice broke. As much as Sirius worries for Remus, the worst for him is over. Regulus is next. He doesn't want an answer to his question because then Regulus’ fate might be worse than he thought.
“They kept telling me you weren’t real. But I wouldn’t accept it. They-“ Remus choked “Siri we have to save Regulus or they might kill him.”
—
He doesn't remember stopping. He only remembers being dragged and then darkness. Now as the darkness fades, he can see things so much clearer. There's a room. The floor is concrete, it looks like there might have been a tile on it once but it has been removed. There were shelves lining the walls. And jars with mysterious liquids of many colours. Most clear or blue. He looked up. Wires. So many wires. They all intertwined. Some led to the white bright lights that burned a hole through his retina. Some lead to his side, where heavy electrical equipment stood. Regulus’ haze had snapped at the sight. He was in a chair, one that had been somewhat reclined. He tried to get up. He tried to find a door. But his hands, his feet, his chest. Had been tied down. He struggled against the restraints. There was no hope. He could hear footsteps approaching down what he assumed was a hallway. Doors opened from behind him. He couldn't turn his head to see. He waited for the footsteps to reveal themselves. And they did. Dr Burke. The surgeon.
There was no talking. Eustace Burke only grabbed things from shelves. He turned on the electrical equipment. He took files from his makeshift desk which Regulus noted was in the corner. The papers were then splayed out on the desk. Eustace seemed to be studying them. Then turns and looks at him.
“Oh Regulus, I didn't know you were awake yet.”
Regulus only nodded.
“Maybe you aren't quite awake as you should be,” Dr Burke mused, He looked to his desk searching for something before picking it up. “That's alright, we can wake you up together.”
Dr Burke seemed genuinely ecstatic to be the one to keep Regulus pinned to a chair. In his hand was a page of information. Too far that Regulus couldn't read. He wondered what was on that page. What would be his fate?
Dr Burke walked around the desk to the other side of the room. There, was a cupboard. It had blended in with the walls, choosing to not be seen. Burke opened it, rummaging around and grabbing something.
“Ah, got it.” Burke hid the instrument behind his body. He walked behind Regulus, talking as he did.
“So, Regulus,” The way he said his name irked Regulus, “You say you've fallen in love.”
It was said like a statement, meant as a question. Regulus didn't answer. He sat still. “This boy, James.” Regulus could hear Dr Burke fiddling with things behind him, Machines and wires, “I hate to tell you this but he died. Which means,” Burke pauses, finally settling the equipment behind him, “You're insane.” Burke gives a menacing laugh at Regulus’ predicament. Two things were placed on Regulus’ temples. Regulus only had a few seconds to try and free himself before pain overtook him. Everything hurt. He could feel himself about to slip when the pain stopped. When Regulus came to, he could taste blood in his mouth. His tongue had been caught between his teeth. He spat the blood out. Not bothering if blood got on his shirt. If he ever got out of here, he wouldn't care to be a bit bloody.
“Oh no, we’ll have to put something there next time to make sure you don't hurt yourself.”
“You're hurting me.”
“I’m helping you.”
“James was real to me, I know he’s gone but I’m fine with it, let me go,” Regulus fought and fought, tugged and tugged on his restraints. He tried everything to no avail.
“I guess we’ll have to try something else.”
Then the tugging of restraints and his head pushed underwater.
Barty was right. A small fish in a big pond. Bound to drown.
—
They were back in the dark halls again. This time they had to be careful. While Sirius and James could go undetected, Remus couldn’t just disappear. This time they were slower. The night maids had just finished checking the rooms by the time they got Remus out. They only had an hour or so to get Regulus free. When they could, they ran down hallways, trying to find a staircase that would take them downstairs. Remus led the way, taking the two of them through winding hallways. At the end of the hallway, there was a door, different from the door that Remus had been behind. A sound echoed from a couple of doors down and they ran. The door got closer and closer until they poured outside. Remus beelined for an oak tree. An oak tree. For James time stood still. For the others, they darted behind the tree and through a bush. James just slowly approached it. The branches were different from the ones at home. The leaves, a different shade. Everything about it was completely different to the one he fell in love under. But no matter, his heart still beat, even if he was dead.
Behind the tree was a trapdoor. Hidden by leaves and shrubs, locked by a heavy chain that Sirius probably broke open. Sirius was at the bottom of the ladder. He ushered him over.
“Let's get down there and save him.”
—
Eustace Burke had a Trephine. The only reason Regulus knew what it was was because of a textbook he read in boarding school. The instrument looked rusty, with a black handle and a set of sharp rusted teeth. He would use it to drill a hole in Regulus’ head. Holy shit.
Regulus tugged at the restraints with even more urgency. He let out a yell. A scream for help. Anyone. Can anyone hear him?
Dr Burke started walking toward him. “Regulus, you do understand that James is dead right?”
“Yes,” Regulus’ voice was strained as he used all his strength to get out.
“And you know that you were hallucinating every interaction between you?”
“Probably,” No, it wasn't a hallucination, it was too real.
“And you know that what you felt for him wasn't real?”
“My feelings were very real, you overgrown lobcock!” Regulus yelled as the leather around his wrists started loosening at his struggle.
Dr Burke took the shackles and tightened them with haste.
“Did you know that the survival rate of Trephination is 50%? I feel comforted knowing that if I mess up, I won't have to feel guilty,” he said as if it were a normal conversation. Regulus’ life is about to be over and he doesn't even care. How does Burke not feel any guilt? How could Burke take a life like this?
Regulus knows he will never get out. He knows this will be his last moment. So he thinks of James. He wishes James were here to help him out. He imagines he’s under the oak tree, with James’ arms wrapped around him. His soft breaths fanned against Regulus’ cheeks. The tightness around his wrists aren't restraints, they are James’ hands holding on tight as they lay next to the lake getting lost in one another. The pressure against his head isn't the trephine preparing to burr, it's a gentle kiss from James. He squeezed his eyes shut. And started yelling. Thrashing his body around. Anything to make sure the trephine cannot settle onto his head. That the doctor could not come anywhere near him without feeling pain. He kicked, he thrashed. He screamed.