Chapter 5
Evan and James had been getting ready in James' bedroom for the last couple of hours, slowly harbouring a couple of beers down between their rapid conversation. James had spoken about Regulus no less than 10 times during their conversation, constantly bringing him up, in any context he saw fit.
‘This shirt is so nice, I swear Ev. The colour of blue is like Regs’ eyes!’ James had said, as thought it was an entirely normal observation, Evan had been gobsmacked at this proclamation.
‘James, mate, do you hear yourself? You sound like you have a fucking crush on Regulus!’ Evan teased his friend, elbowing him lightly in the chest. James was silent at the joke.
‘Chill James, it's a joke.’ Evan laughed as he walked into the bathroom to grab some hair stuff. Evan was wearing a button down t-shirt, a blue silk, that was apparently blue like ‘Regs’ eyes’, with a few buttons undone at the top, revealing a strip of silky smooth skin. He looked good. His trousers were black ripped jeans, the same ones he wore to the previous party. He thought back to the way Barty’s fingers slipped under the fabric, as he sat atop his bike. Evan had thought about Barty a lot actually. He was excited to see the brunette, to thank him for how he acted earlier.
Evan stroked some product through his blonde hair, styling it roughly, accentuating a few of his waves, and pulling it out of his face to reveal his bright eyes. He could admit he looked nice. Outside he could hear the doorbell go, and James shouted back before storming down the stairs. The first few people were there, time seemingly flew by as the party was already starting when Evan made it down the stairs. The familiar lights were shining, his and James’ carefully curated playlist blasting in the back. Evan made his way over to where James was standing, making a drink, with a few other teammates.
‘Man of the hour! Ev you carried so hard at the end mate!’ One of his teammates said to him, Evan smiled at him appreciatively, feeling shy under the weight of being complimented so publicly. Evan muttered out a small thanks, that got lost in the loud music, and went to pour himself a drink, copying whatever demonic mixture James was concocting. James insisted that he was an incredible cocktail maker, in reality he was just amazing at making the strongest drinks ever and getting everyone way too drunk. But it's pretty much the same thing, when you're 17.
Evan took a long swig, ignoring the burn in the back of his throat as he downed it. His eyes subconsciously looked around the room as it began to fill up, trying to spot those green eyes. He didn't see anything, before he got tapped on his shoulder. It shouldn't have shocked Evan that Mia would be there, but he really didn't want to see the girl, especially since their last kiss.
‘Evan! You looked so hot at the match.’ The girl exclaimed, a cup of something or other in hand. Evan honestly hadn't realised she was there, he didn't notice her in the stands, but his attention was elsewhere to be fair. Evan just nodded wordlessly at the girl, keeping his gaze planted on the door, awaiting a specific person's arrival.
He let himself be dragged towards the sofa by the girl, and sat beside her, feeling annoyed as he lost sight of the door. He wanted to be the first person to greet Barty, but now he wouldn't even know when he got there. He reluctantly pulled his eyes away from the door, to look at the girl sitting beside him, too close for comfort. She was talking to him animatedly about how cool the match had been.
‘Evan, it was incredible!’ Her voice squeaked out. Evan didn't want to do this, he didn't want to kiss her again, he didn't want to small talk with her either. He was being rude and he knew it, but this girl couldn't take a hint. ‘I know, I was there.’ He said emotionless, but Mia found it hilarious, as she giggled away beside him, resting her hand on his arm to stabilise herself, as a wave of laughter took over her body.
‘It wasn't funny…’ Evan sighed to himself, the music dragging his words away from anyone's hearing.
Mia continued to speak about something that Evan didn't care about, and he tuned her voice out easily, surveying the room in hopes of seeing Barty.
His eyes darted over a few forgettable faces before he spotted some green strands sticking out, standing tall above the crowd. A grin made its way onto Evan’s face as he stood up and pushed through the crowd towards Barty, Mia called him from behind, but Evan didn't care. He pulled out the other side, following the strands like a lighthouse, and made his way in front of Barty, who was looking down at him with a fond smile on his face.
‘Rosie.’ Barty sounded relieved. Evan was relieved to see Barty too, but he didn't say that. Instead he leaned up, pulling Barty into a quick hug, nothing too touchy, Evan wasn’t that drunk yet.
‘Hey Barty, glad you could make it!’ Evan supplied, voice light and airy. Regulus wasn't beside Barty, Evan noted, Barty was alone in the crowd. Perfect, Evan thought. Barty was alone, so they could go talk. Evan placed a hand around Barty’s wrist and pulled him towards the quietest section of the party, the garden. Outside there were only a couple of people, a few smokers and some people already too drunk being force fed water by their friends. He ignored them, turning to Barty.
Evan whipped out a cigarette, putting it in his mouth and putting the lighter up to it to inhale. Barty stared at him curiously, an eyebrow raised. Evan inhaled the smoke, passing it to Barty as he spoke through smoke coming out his mouth, ‘You're not the only one that smokes, Crouch.’ Evan teased, watching closely as Barty smirked around the end, following Evan’s actions.
As they stood side by side, faces lit by the soft moonlight, sharing a cigarette, Evan let his eyes fall shut, the noise of the party faint background music at that point, with the sound of Barty breathing steadily beside him feeling louder. As his eyes fell shut he felt the effects of the alcohol hit him, head spinning quickly. Evan forced his eyes wide, to prevent him stumbling, and Barty was just looking at him, an eyebrow still raised, as he took in the sight of Evan.
Evan’s blue shirt started with a few buttons open, but as time had passed another couple must've fallen open revealing more of Evan’s chest, slightly pink from alcohol. He was leant back against the brick, with a cigarette in his mouth. Barty thought he looked beautiful. He opened his mouth to say as such, when he was cut off, ‘Bee?’ a voice drew the pair's eyes to the door, Fabian leaning out, with a glass in his hand. He waved at Barty, and walked over, leaning up to kiss him on the side of his mouth. Barty looked stunned, not sure what to say. Evan watched the boy kiss him, and felt sick.
‘Bee?’ The word tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
‘Aha, sorry it's just a nickname I call him!’ Fabian answered the question for him, tone airy, words slightly slurred. Barty was standing looking at Evan still, he hadn't looked down to Fabian since the man walked in.
‘Oh, nice.’ Evan deadpanned, already turning away to go to the door, Barty didn't speak the entire time, an unidentifiable look remained on his face, mouth slightly parted as though he wanted to say something. But he didn't.
As Evan walked into the room and let the party consume him, he grabbed another bottle of beer from the side, seeing James over by the wall, he decided to play it safe and go over to his friend, but as he approached, James got pulled away, into the hallway, by Regulus, who Evan didn't even notice before, hidden by the crowd. Evan froze in his motion, face screwing up in confusion at the sight. But he couldn't get too far in his thought process before a hand was on his waist.
Evan was drunk, he knew this, but that didn’t stop him from taking a substantial swig of his beer anyway, before turning around to meet Barty. Evan wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to see Barty anymore. He had been so excited to talk with the older boy earlier, but after seeing him kiss Fabian, Evan had a sour taste in his mouth.
Evan met Barty’s eyes, gaze glossed over from the beer, and Barty spoke, ‘Sorry Rosie, didn't know he was gonna be here..’ Barty muttered, voice uncharacteristically anxious. Evan hated the sound. He shook his head to try and express that, but didn't say anything, only leaving Barty more confused. Barty was swaying as he stood, clearly Evan wasn't the only drunk one, as Barty kept his grip firm on Evan’s waist to stabilise himself, he swooped down to Evan’s ear, so his words wouldn’t vanish in the noise.
Barty’s nose brushed along the shell of Evan’s ear as he spoke so closely to the other boy, hot air making Evan’s hair stand on edge, ‘Rosie, do you wa-’, his voice was silenced by a scream from across the room, the boys broke apart to see where the noise came from, when they saw Sirius screaming under Mary, who was currently licking a strip up his stomach, surrounded by a circle of cheers, as she did a body shot of the older boy, the two clearly off their heads.
Barty’s eyes lit up, as he watched them, hand finding its way back to Evan’s as he pulled them towards the circle. Evan’s questioning yells went unanswered, as they pushed through. Sirius spotted them instantly, sitting up from his position atop the table, and Evan felt like his life was a sick neverending episode of deja vu, as he shook his head to no avail.
When Sirius had his mind up there was no stopping him. ‘EVAN!’ The scream of his name caused the circle to turn and face the blonde, a few wolf whistles could be heard, his appearance a lot to take in, shirt on its last buttons, revealing more skin than it covered.
‘Evan! You gotta do one. Why don't you let your new best friend do it?” Sirius' voice jeered at him, Evan flipped Sirius off, which only made the long haired boy laugh louder, as he pulled Evan into the middle.
‘Crouch, you're up. Put on a good show.’ Sirius’ words hung over Barty, but he was too drunk to retort, only following Evan to the centre, and ignoring the hollers from around them.
Barty just lifted Evan onto the counter, manhandling him into the position. It shouldn't have made Evan feel so nice. Barty leaned close again, whispered in Evan’s ear once more, ‘Just let me do this, ‘kay?’ His voice suddenly became smooth, confident.
Evan just nodded, throat feeling dry. Barty stood between where Evan’s legs dangled off the side of James’ counter. Barty’s fingers climbed from on top of Evan’s thighs to the bottom of his shirt, fingers teasing under, skin on skin. Evan was gonna pass out.
Barty began to unbutton the few buttons still clasped shut, the crowd screamed louder, but Evan couldn't really hear them. Evan let him, elbows sliding behind him as he lowered down the counter, his shirt slipping open, Evan let his lips fall open lightly. Barty looked up at him, half lidded.
Evan was going to pass out.
Barty fingers traced over Evan’s bare skin, the touch so light it was almost invisible, but Evan felt it. Barty moved away, and Evan wasn't sure whether to cry of relief or disappointment. The already open bottle of tequila was held over Evan’s waist, a hand steadying his hips. The cold liquid hit his bellybutton, and Barty heard Evan hiss. Barty leaned over Evan on the counter and took the lime wedge from beside his head, rubbed it over the junction between Evan’s neck and jaw, then lifted the wedge between Evan’s parted lips.
Evan felt Barty’s fingers brush over his spit slick lips, a silent command, the lime stuck between his lips, and as Barty reached behind him to grab the salt, Evan let his head loll back at hearing Barty’s voice beside his head, quiet enough that only they could hear it.
‘Good boy, Rosie.’
Evan was going to die, Evan was already dead, as he let Barty sprinkle the salt over his damp neck. The crowd was roaring, getting bigger and bigger as Barty prepared Evan for the shot.
Barty leaned back, hands on the top of Evan’s thighs, where they sloped off the edge of the counter, and caged Barty in.
The second Evan felt the wet tongue on his stomach, Barty’s wet tongue , he lost it, a soft moan getting drowned out by the loudness, and caught on the line between his lips. He risked it, looking down at Barty, knowing he would regret it, and the sight was horrible. It was so bad. It made Evan want to cry, because of how fucking hot Barty looked, looking up at Evan as he licked over Evan’s smooth stomach, his tongue naturally falling into the ridges of Evan’s abs. Barty sucked the tequila clean and made his way up Evan’s body, reaching his neck. Evan couldn't do this. His head rolled to the side, allowing Barty more access to his neck. Barty took the new space, his tongue was filthy, spreading over the salt, and lapping up Evan’s sweat, one hand moved from Evan’s thigh to hold tightly across Evan’s throat.
Evan felt like crying, at the feeling of Barty kissing his jaw, heavy open mouthed kisses, he felt the need to close his legs, but Barty was placed firmly between them, the feeling only making Evan more insane.
Finally, Barty gave him a small mercy, he detached from Evan’s throat, but the worst was yet to come as Barty looked into Evan’s eyes, finally face to face. Evan was sure he had tears in his eyes, face definitely red.
As Barty leaned closer, the screams got so loud, Evan was drawn out of their little world, and realised where he was. Shit.
Barty was inches away from him, his nose brushing over Evan’s softly.
‘Open up,Baby.’ Barty commanded, and who was Evan to deny him. Wanting to please Barty, he let his mouth fall open, pushing the lime between his lips, and Barty leaned down, his lips brushing Evan’s teasingly as he grabbed the lime between his own lips, biting down and letting the juice spill down Evan’s chin, as he pulled away, a line of spit connected them both, Barty, let the lime fall from his lips, and Evan had to force himself not to chase after Barty’s mouth as he pulled away.
The party was screaming impossibly louder, and Evan shut his eyes, leaning further back on his elbows as he took the whole thing in. He jumped off the counter seconds after, he couldn't be here. Barty was standing in the centre of the circle, taking the cheers from the onlookers, and laughing with Sirius about something Evan couldn't hear.
Evan couldn't hear much of anything. It was ringing again. He barged through the crowd, watching it part for him as he made his way towards where James had got pulled away earlier. He needed to relax, he needed to breathe, he needed his friend.
The hallway grew quiet as he walked up the stairs, finally muffling the cheers, of what was almost definitely another unsuspecting person getting a body shot. Evan walked towards James’ room, hoping that the boy would be there, when the door suddenly shot open, a tearful Regulus walking out. Evan felt his eyes widen at the dark haired boy, taking in his frown.
‘Regulus? You good?’ Evan slurred towards him, as the boy approached him.
‘Ask James.’ Was all Regulus managed to spit out as he pushed past Evan, down the stairs, sniffling as he did so. Evan was speechless, unsure on what to do, frozen in his space, when Regulus turned around and faced him, halfway down the stairs, ‘Where is Barty?’ He asked, trying to control his voice from shaking, but failing.
At the mention of the others' names, Evan took a steep inhale of breath, head suddenly dizzy.
‘In there.’ Evan mumbled, not looking at Regulus, as he walked into James’ room, it was all too much, he needed silence, he needed to sleep.
When Evan pushed the door open, he revealed James, sat on his bed, staring at the wall, in complete silence. He looked distraught, and the sight sobered Evan up, concern crawling up his system. He had been so caught up in his own problems, he hadn't even considered what Regulus had meant by ‘Ask James.’
Evan walked over to the bed, sitting quickly beside James and letting the tanned boy's head fall onto his shoulders, the touch breaking James’ floodgates as he let out a stream of tears, hands coming up to cover his face.
Evan just rubbed his friends back, giving him small shushes, letting the other take deep breaths.
‘I fucked up.’ James said, after a few minutes of slow breathing.
‘What happened, Jamie?’ Evan spoke to his friend gently, not wanting to upset him further.
James was silent for another while.
‘Evan, I think I like like Regulus.’ James’ voice was afraid, he sounded unsure of himself.
Oh. That wasn't what Evan had expected, truthfully. James never struck Evan as gay. Evan didn't really have any gay friends, at least none he knew about. It had always been a forbidden topic at home, although his sister had spoken to him about it a few times, casually mentioning that she kissed a girl. Evan had brushed past it, passing it off as a phase, or some kind of experimentation. It wasn't that he was homophobic, he just didn't understand it. His father always told him that it was wrong, and Evan never thought twice about it.
But James was gay. That was new. Evan didn't know what he thought. He didn't really think anything. And the more he let himself work through it, he realised it kind of made sense. The way James spoke about Regulus, constantly mentioning him, his eyes, his hair, his laugh . Evan thought the idea of James being gay would make him upset, but all he felt was relief. He finally understood his friend's behaviour. He had always felt out of the loop when James spoke of Regulus, like he was missing out on something. Now he understood.
Evan had been silent for a while as he let his thoughts run rampant, forgetting where he was, but he was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt James shift away from him, looking away. James spoke quietly, tears falling again.
‘I shouldn't have told you. I know you don't like that stuff. Fuck, I am so stupid.’ James muttered, head in his hands. Evan felt horrible at this, quickly shuffling over to where James moved to the edge of the bed, he wrapped an arm around his friend, speaking before James could work himself up anymore.
‘No James, I’m sorry, I am a bad friend. James I don't care if you are,’ Evan took a deep breath in, ‘gay.’ He finished, urging his voice to sound confident.
‘Ev..’ James went to speak, but Evan had more to say.
‘No James, honestly, I don't mind, in fact, it makes sense, I kinda always knew subconsciously that you liked Regulus, I guess I am just kinda… oblivious or something.’
James forced out a weak laugh at this, nose running, ‘Oblivious is one word for it, I would say more like stuck in your own head.’
Evan huffed a laugh. He remembered back to Regulus, and asked James once more, ‘Jamie, what happened with Regulus?’ His tone still light.
James seemed to remember too, tears picking back up, as he choked out, ‘I kissed him. I k-k-kissed him.’ James cried out, stuttering through hiccups as he cried heavily.
‘James, that's fine, why are you crying?’ Evan remained confused at his friend's behaviour.
James fell silent, just hiccups and small tears rolling down his cheeks as he faced Evan.
‘I told him I wasn't gay, and said I didn't like guys like that. He said I led him on and,’ James’ voice faded, ‘-and, I just agreed.’
Evan didn't really know what to say to that, so instead he just rubbed James’ back as he cried on his shoulder, telling him it would be okay. Evan wasn't really sure it would be okay, but he didn't want to say that, so he just let his hand create waves on James' skin, until the other boy was no longer crying.
Evan checked his phone as James lay on the bed letting out a sigh. ‘What about you mate? What’s got you upstairs in the middle of a party?’ James offered, sniffing slightly to get rid of his tears for good, and Evan took a moment to reply as he took in the messages on his phone. Barty had sent him a couple of messages about 10 minutes prior, and a couple of missed calls, but Evan had been too busy with James to reply, though he isn't sure he would have replied anyway, giving his current dilemma.
‘Actually, it’s the end of the party, it’s 1am James.’ Evan said instead of answering his friend's question, not ready to unpack his night quite yet. The two boys took in their surroundings, the noise was dimmer, it seemed most people had left in their absence, and as they both walked downstairs to see the damage, they noted a near empty house, minus a few people who were staying over, or people waiting to get lifts outside.
James’ floor was covered in empty cups, barely visible, with crisps thrown across the floor, lights still loosely flashing, and music playing, turned down to the lowest volume, but still coursing away.
James cursed under his breath at the sight, and Evan felt inclined to do the same. Those who were staying over were already passed out on the sofa, drooling onto the pillows.
Evan, still drunk, and not quite willing to let his body fall into slumber just yet, grabbed the half empty bottle of tequila, looking at it with anger as he remembered the events of earlier, before downing the bottle.
‘Jesus! Ev?’ James stood behind him, suddenly grinning at the blonde’s reckless decision, Evan merely passed the remainders over to James, and smirked as the boy promptly finished the bottle. The two of them proceeded to empty every half full cup, getting properly hammered in the process, and by 3 in the morning, the house was half cleaned, with James and Evan laughing in the middle of the floor as they joked about their nights, talking about anything and everything.
‘Ohhh my god! Did you see fucking Alice? She was literally going crazy outside, she was yelling at some guy, calling him a cunt, all these crazy things! She was sooo pissed, Ev it's not even funny!’ James laughed as he told the story, hands flying everywhere. Evan let out an unapologetic laugh at that, bending over to stabilise himself at the memory.
‘Fuck… that is too good, I actually can’t breathe.’ Evan gasped out between laughs.
Evan took his phone in his hand as he realised how long it had been, he had told his dad he would be home that night, but he lost track of time. At this, Evan jumped up, let out a small curse. The two boys didn't live far by car, but to walk it would take Evan over an hour, at 3 in the morning, this meant Evan would be home at 4, at the earliest. Only… 5 hours after his curfew. Fuck.
Evan grabbed his stuff, yelling a quick bye at James who had unsurprisingly passed out on his floor, and ran out the door, heading towards his house. The sun was rising at that point, the summer sun feeling nice on his skin, as he stumbled towards the road. Evan was still drunk, as he opened his phone, preparing himself for the influx of messages.
His father had sent him one message, at 11:10, 10 minutes past his curfew.
11:10
You are late. This will not go unpunished.
Evan cursed under his breath, picking up his pace as ran along the roadside. He swiped through the other messages, finally clicking on Barty’s.
00:48
Evvvvvv,,,,, ur frend s a dick.
00:49
roseiieieei
replt t me
I lked th shot.
00:51
we leffft rosi
we cn do ir agsuin?
(3 missed calls)
Evan didn't reply. He couldn't deal with that just yet, he had to get home. His side was aching, a stabbing pain as a stitch began to grow from running, but his sprint managed to cut his journey in half, not that it mattered to his father. 10 minutes late was as bad as 10 hours late.
It was 3:46 when Evan pulled up to his front door, slowly putting the key in, his shaky hands missing a few times, trying to be quiet, but his body betrayed him as he stumbled inside. Sat by the dining table was his father, fully suited up, with a reserved look on his face. He was typing on his laptop, not even looking up at his son before he spoke.
‘You are late.’
Evan’s body let out a shiver, as he dropped his stuff.
‘You are drunk. It is 4 in the morning, Evan.’ His father continued at Evan’s silence, standing up still unwilling to look over, as he took a few strides over to his son in the corner. Evan’s father was taller than him, stronger than him. Evan was scared, but he didn't show it. He looked his father in the eyes.
Evan was unable to reply before a strike hit the side of his face, his fathers ring catching on his cheek, causing blood to drop down his cheek. Evan said nothing.
‘You are fucking pathetic.’ His father said, the words hurt even more as he thought back to Barty saying the same thing to him. Thinking of Barty hurt more than the next hit.
Evan willed his drunk body to do something, but instead he just slurred out ‘I hate you.’ to his father.
This was the last straw, as Evan’s father shoved his son into the wall. Watching as the painting above them fell onto him, breaking over his head. He had no remorse, as he watched Evan bleed.
‘I fucking hate you too. Go to your room. Now.’
The door slammed behind Evan as his father left Evan shaking, alone in that house.
Pandora was at her friend's house, as per usual, so Evan just succumbed to the pain, his body moving on autopilot as it walked up the stairs towards his room, passing out in his bed the second his head hit the sheet, the pain taking over, as blood spread onto the pillows.
Evan didn’t want to do anything, he just wanted to sleep. So he did, he let the pain wash over him, and his brain sunk into silence, once more.