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Feeling the urge to run up the stairs and start fighting against all of the bad guys, but not able to do so makes me feel desperate and extremely anxious. There are tears raising on my eyes as I try to fight against the spell that has been casted on me. No matter how much I try to move, my arms and legs, they keep still. Only things that I can move are my eyes. This can't be happening! "Go on, Draco... NOW!!" the woman dressed all black orders. It makes Draco feel more intense as he points at the wand towards the Greatest Wizard of all time. "No." familiar deep voice calls behind Draco and he quickly turns around to see none other than the Potions Master himself, entering the room with all of them. Everyone turn to look at him. My heart... The feeling of panic hits hard. Is he going to fight against the bad guys alone?! Is he crazy?!
My eyes shifts from him to Dumbledore. Bareilly can see both of them, but enough to see how the Headmaster takes a quick glance at me without anyone else's notice. Then, Dumbledore raise his blue eyes on his long time friend:"Severus...". The Potions Master had his own eyes lowered down on the wooden floor, seeing the panic in my eyes thru the small gap. When he hears Dumbledore's voice, he lift his black eyes on the man in front of him. There is a small pause before Headmaster pleads:"Please.". With expressionless look on Severus's face, he swing his wand towards the Headmaster:"Avada Kedavra.". A jet of bluish-green light shoots out from the end of Severus's wand and hits Dumbledore squarely in the chest. NO!!!
It was like all of the sound of the whole world stopped right and there. The only thing I could see at this point is how Dumbledore gets blasted against the railings behind him, and he fell slowly backwards, like a great rag doll, his body went over the railings and he was out of sight. My mind is screaming at this point. Next thing I could hear was the evil witch laugh echoing on top of the Astronomy Tower and how she casts a spell up in the grey sky. Severus grabs Draco and they are the first ones to leave the Tower. Soon, the rest of the Death Eaters follows them. Tears starts streaming down my eyes as I hear the sound of their footsteps walking down the spiral staircase. It got really quiet after that.
Some time passes. It's really hard to say how long I've been laying down here. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this. Is this really a nightmare? If so... When did I fall asleep? All I wish at this moment is that I'd wake up in Severus's warm arms and hug him tight, so all of this could go away. But no. It all feels too real. Then, I hear familiar sound when a cane stomps evenly spaced times onto the wooden floors, slowly coming this way. I try to move my eyes so I can see who's approaching me. It's Moody. He looks down to me with serious look on his face. Then, he casts a spell that breaks the Potions Master's spell. As soon as my body goes from being stiff to normal, I let out a gasp. "C'mon, up you go." he then hunched down to help me up.
Right away when I get on my feet, I hold onto him for a moment longer to keep my balance. My legs and hands are shaking even I try not to:"Alastor... The..- They killed Dumbledore. I co..- I couldn't do anything to stop it!". No answer. He just stares at me with his one eye while the other one keeps moving from one side to another. I wish he would tell me all of this was just a bad dream and I just happened to wake up from the Astronomy Tower like this. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that Severus was the one who..- I don't even wanna think about it. The tears starts running down my face and words gets stuck on my throat. Without a word, grudgingly Moody grabs behind my head and pulls me close to him. My chin rests on his right shoulder as he 'hugs' me. Don't know how to feel about this, but... I feel weak. Lost. Empty. My breath shudders and I break down completely.
After a while, Moody and I started to walk down the spiral staircase. He told me everything that he knew what happened after Dumbledore's body got found in the yard. It turned out that the Death Eaters had walk around the castle and wreck things along the way. For example, all of the windows were shattered into million pieces in the Great Hall. The furnitures were thrown around. People who tried to fight back were tossed to the side like nothing. No one could do anything to stop them. And then they just... Left. It felt so surreal to me as we both walked down to the front yard where people who still were in the castle had gathered around Dumbledore's dead body. He just laid there. Like he was sleeping. Minerva quickly notices me and wrap her arm around me, looking so worried:"There you are!".
It seems that she's been looking for me all over the place. No matter how much I'd like to tell her everything that happened, I can't bring myself to do it. The words are stuck in my throat. The Transfiguration Professor lift her gaze from me to the D.A.D.A. teacher:"Where did you find her?". "She was back at the library, sleeping." Moody lied. My head snaps at him with slight shocked look on my face. "Thank Merlin you are alright." Minerva pulls me into a tight hug. "Yeah... I'm alright." I whisper. Then, Moody and I share a look. Guess he remembered when I told him how I don't want mix innocent people into this mess. I should have trusted him from the beginning. No wonder Severus asked me to avoid him.
All of our attention goes back to the dead man on the ground. Harry is kneeled down beside him, head down, looking defeated. Everyone here stays quiet as we are watching this all happening. My heart feels so heavy. How could this happen? Was this Severus's plan all along? I feel so... Conflicted. About everything. How couldn't I see this coming? Was he ever real? Was... Our relationship even real? Again, tears falls down my cheeks just thinking about everything that has happened till this very moment. It was all... Just a lie? All of these questions keeps floating around me, and I can't get any answers to them. Eventually, Minerva was the first one to raise her wand and put tiny light on the end of it. Soon, we all did the same. This is our way to show the respect and saying farewell to the Greatest Wizard of all time. While holding the wand in the air, my free hand goes over the pocket I hide the locket he gave me and I give it a little squeeze. Albus.
Didn't take long before the news spread all around the Wizarding World. It was everywhere. No one knew exactly who was the one that killed Albus Dumbledore, but it was said that the Death Eaters had mysteriously break in Hogwarts and made their attack. The locket Dumbledore gave me, I hand it to Harry and it eventually turned out to be a fake Horcrux. So... They did all that, for nothing? All of this felt so much for me, so I moved in Remus's and Tonks's home temporarily with Sniffy. Sirius had offered me a place to stay as well, but somehow I feel more comfortable to stay with the Lupin's. Knowing they don't have much money, I have bought all of my own food and all the other things whenever I need anything. Remus and Tonks are really caring and considering towards me. They haven't pushed me to tell everything that happened.
All I have told them is how Severus is indeed part of the Death Eaters and he was there too when it all went down. But I didn't tell them how he was the one who raised the wand towards the Headmaster. Somehow I still can't bring myself to do so. Maybe it all becomes real if I say it all out loud? I dunno. My mind is a mess. My heart is a mess. Everything... Is a mess. Well, if we try to look at the bright side here, at least I can spend more time with my godson now. He's so adorable. During all of this, I have written a letter to my aunt, and told her that if she wishes to write me any letters during this summer, she should send the owls to Lupin's address. Haven't heard from her yet, but I guess she will eventually respond something. I do miss her and her husband very much. But somehow, I feel like I can't show my face to them. At least not yet. I want to get some clearity to all of this before barging in back to the Muggle World to visit them.
None of us has seen Severus or Draco ever since that dark day. As the days goes by, the longer this feeling of unknown and millions of questions won't get answered by Severus Snape himself continues, my heart slowly turned into a stone. Or at least it felt like it time to time. Not saying I haven't spend some nights crying in the guest bedroom and hugged my niffler tight to bring the comfort I need... Hate to admit, I miss Severus. So much. It is now around eight in the evening as I'm sitting in the livingroom while holding little Teddy in my arms. Tonks is knitting something while sitting other side of the room with us. Remus is somewhere upstairs. Our quiet and calm evening gets interrupted when we hear some knocking. Tonks and I share a look. We have all felt on the edge lately - for a reason, so after handing Ted to his mother, I approach the door with wand in my hand.
When sneaking near the front door, Remus comes down the stairs as he heard someone's at the door too. He and I share a look before familiar voice can be heard other side of the door next to me:"C'mon, Moony. We are all freezing out here!". Sirius. Just when my hand grabs the doorknob, Remus comes in to stand beside me. It really feels he's like a brother to me. Always looking out for me. We then open the front door together, only to see punch of familiar faces. Sirius, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Arthur, the twins, Hagrid and Mad-eye. As expected, we told Mad-eye everything we know about the current situation about the You-Know-Who and everything to related to it. Even we agreed to keep our inner circle small, the truth is, we need more people to help us. "Hagrid!" I exclaim with big smile on my face. Haven't really seen him a while! "Hello, (Y/N)." the half-giant friend smiles behind rest of the group.
During the Death Eaters chaos in the castle, they had burned Hagrid's Hut. Luckily, Harry happened to be near by and was able to stop the fire. But... The hut suffered huge damages. Good thing Hagrid happened to be somewhere deep in the Forbidden Forest with his dog - Fang, at the time when it all was happening. He's now been living in Olympe's place. Good to see he's doing alright. Sirius huffs as he's the first one to walk in:"How come you're never that excited when you see me, (Y/N)?". I keep the door open for others to come in and roll my eyes:"For many reasons, Padfoot...". Over time, I've learned that was his nickname he was given when he was at school. After everyone got in, I close the door and follow them into the livingroom.
Everyone goes sit or stand around the room, ready to hear our new plan Mad-eye Moody has come up with. We are all cramped in this small of a room, but it's alright. We make it work. The first thing Moody does, is putting down a red colored bag on the floor before he limps to sit one of the armchairs. "What's that?" Tonks asks while rocking her baby in her arms. Mad-eye ignores her question and has his eyes on the Choicen One. "Potter, you're underage. Which means you've still got the trace on you." the D.A.D.A. teacher starts with. "What's the trace?" Harry asks. "If you sneeze, the Ministry will know who wipes your nose. The point is, we have to use those means of transport the trace can't detect. Brooms and the like." Moody explains. He's right. We practically can not do anything without that the Ministry is on to us. And for some odd reason, we ain't trusting them at this moment...
"We go in pairs. That way, if anyone's out there waiting for us, and I reckon there will be, they won't know which Harry Potter is the real one." Moody continues. Harry frowns confused:"The real one?". "I believe you're familiar with this particular brew." Moody lifts up a flask that seems bigger than the one he likes to drink his daily alcohol doze from. Harry's face drops:"No. Absolutely not.". "Told you he would take it well." Hermione sighs to Moody. Harry turns to all of us:"No, if you think I'm gonna let everyone risk their lives for me...". "Never done that before, have I?" Ron rolls his eyes. "No! No, this is different. Taking that, becoming me, no!" Harry insists. "Well, none of us really fancy it mate." one of the twins jokes. "Yeah, imagine if something went wrong we ended up a scrawny specky git forever." the other one continues. Trying so hard to press down a smile here. The twins are funny. Harry keeps on protesting:"...No. I won't let you be their targets like that!".
Remus got up from his seat:"Harry, my boy, we all agreed..-", "I don't care!" he snaps back. Sirius also jumps into the conversation:"Harry, don't be a fool..-". They all start arguing. The only ones that stay quiet are me, Mad-eye and Hagrid. Everyone's giving valid points here, but the noise starts to become overwhelming. Even Tonks had to move herself and Ted from the room as the others keeps shouting to one another. "Guys... Hey..!" I try to calm down the situation, but as expected, my voice drowns into the noise. It starts to turn into a real chaos here. Mad-eye and I make an eye contact. My head starts to feel like it could explode any second now, and I finally snap:"EVERYBODY JUST SIT DOWN!!!". Immediately, Remus and Sirius sits down by the command and everyone gets quiet. First, I take a look around the room before laying my eyes on Harry. "Harry, I know this is not what you'd wish for. But everyone here is of age. They've all agreed to take the risk. You just haveto accept that." I explain with more calmer and understanding tone. Harry stares at me with slight hesitation at first, but ends up pursing his lips and gives a very little nod. I nod back:"Good. Let's get to it then, shall we?".