Satori Komeiji was not a normal person.
She read minds, stayed in her room and did absolutely NOTHING, played osu and probably other rhythm games all day, and talked to animals. She was probably a furry too.
She did not think it would get this far.
After a long day of playing osu, e-dating on discord with Remilia because OF COURSE SHE DOES, and gifting another nitro subscription to her, she finally got her lazy ass up. She didn't have to do any work since she had enslaved all the animals in hell. In the distance, anyone could swear they heard a cat yowling in the background. Her pet bird or whatever, Okuu, attempted to speak to Satori. She was all shriveled up like a fucking raisin after doing all the work and having a minor hellfire accident. Orin was also there, wheeling Okuu in from a wheelchair.
"Lady Satori... I would like to humbly request for food"
"No"
"IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."
Orin, being the AWESOME AND COOL CAT she is, threw Okuu into the very convenient pit of lava directly to their left. Fuck Okuu. Orin is way better. I am right because I'm John Hakurei. Satori clapped for Orin and then walked away, not feeding her pets because she hates all of them. She was going to go scold her sister for being a stupid fuck again... Until she heard it.
"MANGO MANGO MANGO MANGO MANGO MANGO"
WHAT THE FUCK.
She peeked around one of the corners. Her dumb as shit sister, Koishi, was watching MANGO PHONK GOJO 1V1 EDITS ON YOUTUBE SHORTS. Her fingers were covered in cheeto dust. There were heaps of candy wrappers and chip bags. She started to approach closer, watching Koishi scroll through some Roblox slime ASMR story, and then to a sad Luffy edit. ONE PIECE WASN'T EVEN A THING IN GENSOKYO, AND NEITHER WAS ANY INTERNET. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.
"KOISHI ELIZABETH GRACE JOSEPH ATHENA MAEVE MICHELLE NICOLE RENEE RAY ROSE KOMEIJI."
"Those who know"
At least 5 of Satori's organs stopped working at that moment. She looked at her once beloved sister again, witnessing her watch PATRICK BATEMAN SIGMA TROLLFACE PHONK EDITS. She was about to join Okuu in the 7th layer of hell. How could she have let this happen? Then again, she was an osu player and a discord mod, was she really any different? She looked into Koishi's big stupid eyes again. SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY INCAPSULATED IN THIS. It was getting overstimulating, so she grabbed her crusty ipad from her (that made a CRUNCHING NOISE when she touched it) and held it above her height.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WATCHING."
"You wouldn't understand Satori Komeiji. I am a sigma male"
"THAT IS A GREEK ALPHABET LETTER."
"Sigma"
A singular tear ran down Satori's cheek. Her third eye had shot itself twice already. She unlocked the sacred artifact, looking at the SATORU GOJO WALLPAPER. IT WAS SURROUNDED WITH HEARTS. She developed multiple necrotizing skin infections from touching the ipad, but this gave her pink eye AND jaundice. This motherfucker had Spamton eyes. She looked up at Koishi Elizabeth Grace Joseph Athena Maeve Michelle Nicole Renee Ray Rose Komeiji one more time, her gaze laced with agony and despair. Her sister was playing PET SIMULATOR X ON ROBLOX.
"Sprunki FNF Dandys world mango mango mango"
Koishi's face terrifyingly morphed into a fucking TROLLFACE. Her organs shifted, her entire bone structure changed, and she grew two extra rows of teeth and wrinkles within the span of about 8 seconds. She even had her own BACKGROUND MUSIC. IT WAS FUCKING MANGO PHONK. This was because as a child, she had eaten a speaker because she was unattended. Her sister had actually not given two shits until this moment. She could not STAND the audio waveforms that were transmitting through her eardrums at the moment.
"My dear sister Koishi Elizabeth Grace Joseph Athena Maeve Michelle Nicole Renee Ray Rose Komeiji. Why are you doing this."
"Honestly I think They Not Like Us is the only mumble rap song that is good, because they call out Drake for being a Diddy Blud."
"WHAT THE FUCK."
Months later, Satori had started smoking. She couldn't deal with watching her sister play pregnancy simulator on Roblox or whatever the fuck she did. A year after, she developed terminal lung cancer and died on the spot. Of course, Orin threw her body into the pits of hell again. Remilia Scarlet was the only person who attended her funeral, and her ass jumped into the pits of hell to get another 3 months of discord nitro.
Koishi would come to her gravestone every night in tears. She would whisper to her only a few words.
"Those who know... Still water..."