Friendship Bracelet
As Regulus followed Sirius and Jame's onto the train, everyone who saw them could tell something serious had happened. Hah.
Rumors began spreading pretty quickly, but everyone came to similar conclusions after seeing no Regulus and everyone he knew looking miserable.
Regulus sat with his friends as usual, they just couldn't see him obviously. He couldn't really fly, he could just hover, but it seemed to be sort of like the objects thing. The more he did it, the higher he could go.
As he sat above them, he noticed how quiet everyone was. No one wanted to talk about their summers. He was pretty sure Pandora was crying, but she was sure to hide her face. Evan was sitting next to her, trying his best comfort her but not really knowing how when she was curled into the corner. Regulus couldn't handle it. He walked out- more like through- the door and went to find his brother, hoping that maybe they would be talking at least. He found Sirius and all his friends pretty quickly.
Peter was talking. That was a start. There was still sadness and grief in the air, but it was an improvement at least.
He was content watching them all talk until Sirius burst into tears. Literally just randomly, tears started flowing onto his cheeks. Regulus rolled his eyes and left after that.
He decided to wander around, listening in on some conversations. He was curious to hear people's theories about what had happened. He would like to consider himself a humble person, but he knew very well the majority of the train would definitely be talking about him right now. People lived for drama, especially teenagers.
The first years were clueless, and some of the the second years seemed oblivious too, but otherwise, Regulus was right.
" I heard he got the dark mark and dropped out to go serve the dark lord"
Well isn't that sweet.
"No, i'm pretty sure his parents got mad and kept him at home or killed him or something."
...Damn.
"I heard he went crazy and they sent him to Azkaban."
Wow, these people think so highly of him.
Eventually, they finally made it to the castle. From the train to the castle was the most free space he'd had since he was alive, so he was sure to test what he could do. he floated all the way there and listened in in some conversations. When everyone was finally there, he walked inside.
The feast was quite boring. 1st years were sorted, people ate, Regulus sat near the people he knew. They were all quiet and eating slowly or not eating at all. Regulus eventually got bored and decided to head to the library.
Upon arriving, he realized he can't actually read the books because he can't pick them up. Lovely.
He decided to sit down anyways, if not just to relish in the presence of the room. He'd always loved the library.
After a couple of minutes, Remus walked in and sat at a table on the other side of the room. Regulus went over to sit at the table with him. He knew Remus had great taste in books, so maybe Regulus could look over his shoulder.
The two of them used to talk often in the library. Regulus was quite fond of Remus. He didn't try to talk to him too much, and when he didn't Regulus was okay with it. He loved talking about books. He had always assumed books were why he didn't mind Remus, but perhaps they really were friends.
Regulus would miss him.
Remus was reading Regulus' favorite book. There were tears in his eyes. He slammed the book shut and shoved it back onto the shelf. Regulus felt the slightest twinge of guilt before snapping out of it and reassuring himself this was for the better.
Regulus had never seen Remus cry, but he wasn't liking it. He held his head in his hands and tried his best to be as quiet as possible.
Surely he didn't miss him that much, right? Maybe he was just sad for Sirius. Or something else had happened. They weren't even that close. Right?
Regulus didn't dwell on it, he decided to leave before he could think about it anymore.
He walked back to his old dorm. Barty and Evan were already in there, unpacking their trunks they were silent for a while, before Barty aggressively threw a potions book onto the floor. Evan twisted around, startled by the noise.
"I hate him. I hate him! Why would he do that? What made him think that was a good idea? Did he really think we wouldn't care? That we would just all collectively shrug and move on with our lives? What is wrong with him?? " Barty yelled, grunting in frustration.
Evan didn't have to be told who he was talking about.
"Don't say you hate him, Barty. I know your upset. We're all upset. And he's an idiot. But I don't think you hate him. " Evan said, keeping his voice as leveled as possible.
"It's not fair. This is exactly what they wanted, his parents. He might as well have just said 'You guys were right and I'm going to let you control my life now'"
Regulus had never thought of it like that. He decided to take his own life, that was his decision. They weren't in control of that. At least, he thought so.
But would he have done it if it weren't for his parents?
"Barty.. "
"No! He's stupid. And he's selfish and I hate him and.. And I- I miss him. " his voice cracked on the word 'miss'.
Evan hesitated before wordlessly walking over to him and hugging him. He didn't think he'd ever seen Evan and Barty hug. Well, they were in private. The way Barty sunk into Evan suggested this wasn't a first time thing.
Evan was tearing up and Barty was crying into his shoulder.
Why did they have to keep doing this? Why was Barty so mad? Did he really miss him? It felt like everywhere he went, someone was upset because of him. He'd wanted to stop causing problems, yet it seems like this had done the most damage yet. There really was no escape.
Regulus left the room.
He couldn't bare to see anyone else crying because of him. He decided to walk up to the astronomy tower. Peeves winked at him on the way. Well, that was new.
once he'd made it, he looked up at the night sky and found Sirius. The brightest star in the sky. He truly lived up to his name, didn't he?
Regulus had always looked up to Sirius. He used to think he was the coolest person on earth. Sirius was always rebelling. Regulus wanted to be like him, when he was young and foolish. He knew now that couldn't happen.
Regulus looked down to the ground. Regulus had jumped off the astronomy tower once, the first day Sirius had told Regulus he hated him. Turns out, Hogwarts isn't as dumb as he thought, because there was a spell that didn't allow him to get hurt. He was given a second chance, but perhaps it was never meant for him. If only it had worked back then. Nobody would be grieving anymore, and Regulus wouldn't have had to watch them do it.
Regulus wants to die already. He doesn't want to see anymore crying. Maybe when he was actually dead, they would realize there was no point in grieving and move on.
But of course, that was too much to ask for. It had been a week and Regulus was still alive. Kind of. Regulus couldn't even do any cool ghost stuff to confuse people. Not yet, anyway.
He walked back down from the astronomy tower and went to the Gryffindor common room. He needed to be near someone he was familiar with, but he didn't want to deal with all the sadness. He could get into any room he wanted, which was nice. He decided against going to his brothers room. Instead, he wanted to go to the girls dorm room, they probably wouldn't be as sad.
He went to walk up the stairs, but apparently he still can't go up there as a ghost because it immediately slid him back down. The 2 people in the common room looked up before deciding it was just an error or something. That could be useful later.
He found that hovering up the stairs worked. Hurray.
He quickly located the girls dorm and walked in. Mary was braiding some white flowers into Lily's hair. Dorcas' face was tear stained and she was was laying her head on Marlene's lap, asleep. Marlene was playing with Dorcas' hair, talking with the girls. He was hoping they would be talking about something, anything but him. But of course, the universe was out to get him clearly.
"I hope he'll be alright. Dorcas is so upset. She won't even talk about him. " Marlene said.
"I know. I wish he had said something. Surely he knew we would all be supportive. " Lily said, frowning. This confused Regulus a bit. He hardly knew Lily, it's not like he was exactly 'chill' with all of Sirius' friends.
"I hate that this is even happening. Do his parents even know what happened? Why didn't he tell someone? Sirius would have done everything in his power help Regulus if he had known." Mary said.
The thing was, a part of Regulus knew that they would have helped him. If he had said something to Sirius, or Pandora, or even the girls apparently, they would help. Regulus was just afraid that it would work. No matter how much Sirius hates him, perhaps there was always a part of him that knew he would never want him dead.
He thought of Pandora. She was his best friend, Regulus was aware she would be upset by this. He wished he could comfort her, even though he had always been awful at it.
He left the Gryffindor common room and went to find Pandora. Regulus knew her well enough to know she wouldn't be in her dormitory. He instead walked straight to the come and go room, she liked to call it.
I need to see Pandora.
He opened the door and walked into a familiar scene. They always used this room to hang out, paint, play instruments, talk, study, the list went on.
Pandora was sitting on a pink bean bag in the corner of the room. She was curled in on herself, and her hand held onto the necklace she always wore. Regulus got it for her 2 years ago. She loved crystals and rocks, so he got her necklace with a crystal on it. Regulus hadn't been sure if it was a good gift, or if the crystal meant anything, but she had hugged him and assured him she loved it. Clearly she did, because she wore it every day.
For Regulus' birthday that year (Well, early birthday, but same difference), she had made him a bracelet. you know I don't wear friendship bracelets. He had told her. You don't have to wear it. she'd replied. No, this one's the exception. But only this one.
And he wore it everyday.
He had also been wearing it the day he died (unsuccessfully) He looked down at his wrist and saw it was still there, wrapped around his wrist. Twisted strings of blues and greens and greys. It looked the same as the rest of his body. A bit translucent and a little glowy. He could take it off, though. Hesitantly, he sat it down next to Pandora, and it turned back to its normal colour. He wondered if the doctors back at the hospital would notice.
He wasn't expecting it to work, but he was glad that it did. He sat down next to her, and after a couple minutes she wiped her eyes and looks up. She froze and stared at the bracelet. She looked around, then back down, and cautiously picked it up. She smiled through her tears and gently put it on.
Regulus smiles a bit.
Pandora stands up and walks to a canvas. She paints, and Regulus watches every stroke. He cant quite see it because if the way shes sitting, but he can wait. She paints for about an hour. When she steps away it's a painting of his bracelet and her necklace, floating in the water. It's not quite finished, but it's beautiful.
she'll be okay. She has to be. He thinks, following her out of the room.