Revelations
It had officially been two weeks since Regulus "died."
He had seen people cry about him. He had heard people talking bad about him. Somehow it got out that he had tried to kill himself. nobody actually knows how other than the people he personally knows, so maybe it's just the leading rumor right now, but still. Now he definitely doesn't want to ever have to come back here.
Sirius was miserable. Regulus had placed his earring in Sirius' bag like how he had given Pandora the bracelet. Their mother had taken him to get his ears pierced when he was a baby. Regulus only ever wore the earrings Sirius got for him though.
Regulus didn't necessarily want people to know he was there, but something about knowing they have a piece of him feels good. Sirius eventually picked up the earring when he was unpacking and he wore it every day.
Of course, Regulus had stepped on the stairs whilst someone was walking up them. Only once. For good measure. To be fair, it was extremely funny.
And, Regulus may have managed to launch a few pebbles at people, but hey? Who can blame him? He's bored out of his mind.
He'd also improved his hovering/ flying and could go a bit higher and faster.
Now, Regulus was hanging upside down off of his bed listening to his friends talk. They were sort of having conversations now, which was good, but they always seemed sad and tired. It was frustrating.
Pandora and Dorcas were there too, and they were all doing homework and studying. It looked peaceful. They sat in comfortable silence and did their work. Regulus would miss that.
Pandora set her quill down. "I'm starving, I'm going to the kitchen to get snacks. Anyone coming? "
"Me. I'm tired of studying" Evan quickly said. He had clearly been waiting for a reason to stop.
Regulus and Pandora used to sneak into the kitchens all the time and talk to the elves. Regulus would miss that too.
after they left Dorcas began to stand up. "If they can take a break, so can I." She went to jump into Regulus' bed, but hesitated and sat on Barty's instead.
Batty eventually got up and walked into the bathroom, and Regulus decided he was bored. He didn't really have anything to study. Sometimes he went to class for fun, but it's not like he was receiving any work or anything.
He walked out of the dormitory and down the hallway. He walked up the stairs and decided to go to the Gryffindor room. This was basically what he did most of the time. He would see what his friends we're doing, get bored, and go to his brother. When he got bored of him he would aimlessly wander the halls. Mess with people when he could, he;d even had a chat with a ghost or two. There wasn't much to do.
When he walks into his brothers dorm, he sees it's James.. And a dog?
The dog is laying it's head in James lap and James is eating chocolate frogs. Regulus was pretty upset he couldn't eat chocolate frogs anymore.
Regulus watches the scene for a few moments before the dog suddenly transformed into Sirius. Because why wouldn't that happen?
of course he would do that.
His brother was a bit dumb. He probably did it as part of a prank or something. Sirius is the only person who would become an illegal animagus just to be funny. This was the same person who turned all the clocks back an hour and no one noticed for a month. It was a bit admirable.
"I'm going to find Remus. " Sirius said groggily, walking towards the door.
"Mmkay."
After a minute, James pulled out a textbook and began studying. Regulus watched.
James was always interesting to Regulus. Regulus wanted to hate him. He stole his brother. But even aside from the fact that Regulus couldn't hate him because he also saved his brother, James was the nicest person to walk the planet. He would always talk to Regulus when he saw him in his first year, and even as Regulus' and Sirius' relationship got more complicated, he was never rude to him.
He was also quite attractive, but Regulus wouldn't be caught dead saying that out loud.
Okay, Regulus may have developed a slight crush on James towards the end of his life, but it didn't matter now. He'll never know what could've happened.
That makes Regulus begin to wonder. What could've happened? Not just with James, but with everything. What if Regulus had somehow sent Sirius a letter? What if he had never done it, would he ever get close with Sirius again? Would he ever get to really know James? It's useless to ponder over, it's too late. Regulus wishes he were alive again.
...
Oh.
Oh no.
Regulus wanted to live. Regulus wanted to try again. Get close to Sirius and all his dumb friends. Give Pandora a hug. Yell at Barty for being stupid. Live with the potters in a good house with a good family. Regulus wanted to experience that. This was a problem.
Regulus couldn't breathe.
He walked through the bathroom door. What was he supposed to do? He didn't want to die. Everyone was sad. He was sad. He didn't want to die. This wasn't supposed to happen. He didn't think about what he would do if he started regretting it. That just seemed impossible.
Regulus looked in the mirror, but only saw the shower behind him. This only sent him spiraling again.
It was too late. What was done was done. He may regret this forever. He collapsed onto the ground, taking in shaky breaths. He put his hands on the cold tile beneath him and leaned his head back against the wall. He wished he could talk to someone right now.
Wait.
Regulus found himself levitating down the hallways, searching for a ghost, any ghost. He spots peeves first.
..Any ghost except him.
He keeps searching, and he finds a ghost he'd never seen before, reading a book inside an empty classroom. A boy, maybe eighteen, at most. Regulus approaches very cautiously.
He opens his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say, so he settles on clearing his throat.
This catches the ghosts attention. He looks up from the book, startled. Regulus waits for him to say something, but he just stares.
"Er.. Hi," Regulus says awkwardly.
"Hello," The boy responds. His voice soft but deep. "Who are you?"
"Regulus. Regulus Black"
"Regulus Black." The boy repeats. "Well, what did you come here for? I don't think i've seen you before."
"I could say the same for you. I- well, i'm not really dead. Not yet, anyway. I'm in a coma, but i'm also a ghost. I don't really know what to do.. i was sort of hoping i could talk to a ghost about it.." He explains.
The boy examines him curiously before patting the ground next to him, inviting Regulus to sit. He obliges, walking forward to sit on the ground next to him.
"What's your name?" Regulus asked. He didn't really care to befriend this ghost, but.. Well, he was bored and curious.
"Matthew."
Regulus Hums in acknowledgment. He debates asking why he's never seen him before, but doesn't want to push too far. He doesn't have to worry about that for long, though, because Matthew answers the question before Regulus even asks.
"I tend to stay hidden away during the day. That's why you've never seen me."
Regulus just nods. There's a brief moment of silence before Matthew speaks again.
"What happened to you? What put you in a coma?" Matthew questions. straight to the point, then.
"I..Drowned." He settles on.
"That's all?" He replies. this confuses Regulus. Thats all? As in he doesn't believe him or he thinks that's lame?
"Mhm. So, how did you die, then?" Regulus says, trying to change the topic.
Matthew hesitates for a second before seemingly deciding he could share this.
"Jumped off the astronomy tower," He says, weirdly calm.
Regulus turns his head to face him. He opens his mouth a few times. He isn't sure what to say and doesn't know how to ask how he did that without revealing that he,too, jumped off the astronomy tower. There's a beat of silence.
"I.. drowned on purpose" Regulus admits, deciding fair is fair and he can obviously trust this dude with that information.
"Hm. I figured."
Regulus gives him a quizzical look.
"You're here for a reason. You're in a coma, but still a ghost. That means you were supposed to see something."
Regulus Remains silent.
"You saw the people you care about, yeah? They were upset? You needed to see that. if you had just simply drowned by accident or something, then there wouldn't be anything to see." Matthew continues. "You feel regret. Am i right?"
Regulus feels the tears fill his eyes. He keeps his gaze downward, but nods nonetheless.
"Well, you're not dead yet." He states.
Regulus looks up, because he's right. Regulus is still alive.
"Thank you." He says.
Matthew stays silent for a moment.
"I may not have had anything to live for, but it seems like you do. Go back to them." He says, smiling and nodding toward the door. Regulus is definitely crying now.
He stands up, walking towards the door, but turns back around one more time, "Thank you," He repeats. "If I-.. I'll come visit you"
With that, he walks out. Matthew's words ring in his head. You're not dead yet. It was true. He could still survive. But how could he ensure that?
Tomorrow is Saturday. That was when Sirius had planned to visit. He would go back with him to the hospital. He wasn't exactly sure what he needed to do, he just knew he had to go back there.