Baby Just Say Yes

“We need to talk.” 

It was the first thing Regulus said when he walked up to James on the football field. James had been practicing alone for the upcoming game on Friday. The team was there moments before and he’d opted to stay back so he could run his own drills. James had been dutifully practicing since he’d woken up before the sunrise and long before his coach had even set the team’s practice. He was nothing if not dedicated to the sport. They knew that the game they’d play at the end of the year was going to have scouts from some of the biggest university’s in the country. James had to give it his all as this was his last year to do so and he desperately needed to impress anyone and everyone who came to that game. And every game before it just in case. 

He had been awake since five that morning and was so exhausted that his glasses had fallen off his face and he’d slipped on the lacrosse ball, causing him to land flat on his back embarrassingly. James had hoped no one had seen that but Regulus crouching over him showed that clearly he had. The boy daintily collected his frames from the ground. 

“Hello to you too,” James said, taking his glasses from the other’s outstretched hand without sitting up. The grass seemed very comfortable for a lie down at the moment.  

“You shouldn’t practice out here alone,” Regulus said, shifting his balance on the balls of his feet. “You could easily get hurt and no one would be around to help you.” He gestured vaguely to James’ laying on the ground after his nasty fall. 

James stared up at him with a smirk. “Worried about me, eh? I’m touched.” He couldn’t risk teasing the boy. 

Regulus grimaced and looked away. “Not at all. I just think it would be a waste if you couldn’t play at the end of year game.”

“Will you even be there?” James asked even though he knew the answer. Regulus had shown up maybe once to his game’s and that was back when he was a first year and Sirius had dragged him out there to watch. The young boy had taken out his book and read the whole time. At least Remus had the decency to pay attention when he came even if it also wasn’t really his thing. 

“I might make an appearance,” Regulus mumbled, hand absentmindedly rolling the ball James was using by his foot. “It being your last game and all. Though do try not to get yourself injured out here practicing by yourself. It’s clear you’re the only one on the team with any talent. It would be a complete waste.” 

“You think I’m talented?” James felt his face burn and sat up so fast, he accidentally knocked their foreheads together. 

“Ow, fuck!” Regulus cried out, standing and stepping away while rubbing his forehead. “I think you’re stupid actually.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” James scrambled off the ground. 

“It’s fine,” Regulus said with a wince. He then leaned forward and carefully adjusted the glasses on James’ face. “You should really be more careful. I don’t think Euphemia would take kindly to having to buy you another pair.” It really wasn’t that many that his mother had to buy him. James was a clumsy kid and was always running around and bumping into things. When he first started playing lacrosse, he broke his glasses only once which is what made his mother decide to buy him contacts so it wouldn’t happen again. 

“I usually wear contacts, but I couldn’t find them this morning.” James pressed his fingers where the other’s were to adjust his frames himself. Regulus snapped his hand away the second their skin touched. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” 

Regulus scoffed. “As if my first shot would be misplacing one of your items. I am far more clever than that.” Indeed he was, but James had to make sure. Trust no one in a prank war. Regulus paused. “Actually, that’s why I’m here.” 

“Yeah, you said we needed to talk? What about?” It wasn’t that strange for them to speak with one another privately as the secret they shared between them brought them closer together. That and the warnings James used to give Regulus about the pranks over the years. Though it was out of character for the younger Black to seek him out like this. James was usually the one always coming to bother him not the other way around. 

Regulus looked around. The cheerleading team was beginning to make their way out to the field. “Not here,” he said in a low voice. “Come on, grab your stick and ball and let’s go somewhere more private.” 

James leaned down to pick up said stick and ball and couldn’t help snorting and saying, “Ah, memories.” 

It took Regulus a moment to register what James had said before his face flushed and he shouted, “Shut up, Potter!” 

James snickered behind him as Regulus walked off the field in search of a secluded area. He was wearing a black sweatshirt that seemed about a size too big for him, most likely an item he claimed for himself after Sirius had run away and left a few things behind. Sirius didn’t mind seeing his little brother in his old clothes as it represented an unspoken gesture that Regulus had missed him. That’s not what James was thinking when he saw the sweatshirt though. There was a slight bulge in the back that had no real outline so he couldn’t really tell what it was. The clothing was too big for Regulus and he no doubt was layered as he got cold very easy and it was still winter so James didn’t dwell on it too much. 

Regulus took them to the side of the building where the locker rooms were. It was very likely his team had finished up at this point so James was sure they had complete privacy. “So what’s up?” He asked once they were hidden away to Regulus’ satisfaction, briefly tossing his gear in the closet next to the locker room. 

“What’s up,” Regulus turned on him, “is that you told my brother that I would tutor you in French if I lost?”

“That was Remus’ idea,” James pointed out, ignoring the other’s mumbled “Clearly.” “And I had to think of something. I couldn’t exactly tell him you were agreeing to go on a date with me, could I?  You are the one who said you wanted to keep us a secret.” 

Regulus pointed a finger at him. “There is no ‘us’. Let me make that perfectly clear. And you could’ve told me before I almost outed our little…affair to Sirius when he asked me about it.” 

The way he said it sounded so ridiculous that James had to laugh. “Don’t call it an affair. I rocked your world.” 

Regulus scoffed. “More like jabbed into me with that sad excuse of a cock.” 

“Uncalled for,” James rolled his eyes. Regulus was being cruel on purpose and he did not appreciate it. Regulus always did this. It was like a default setting to keep him from talking about anything real. It was the thing about him that annoyed James the most. Especially since he knew Regulus could be sweet when he felt like it. “Did you just bring me here for a reprimand?” 

Regulus shifted his stance. “No. I brought you here to ensure that there will be no more slip-ups in the future.” 

James put his hands up in defense. “It was an accident. I don’t want Sirius to know any more than you do.” Which he never really understood. It made sense why James didn’t want anyone to find out, Regulus being his best friend’s little brother and all. But Regulus seemed far more adamant that what they’d done stay a secret. It didn’t make sense considering he had less to lose if word got out. 

“An accident,” Regulus repeated. “That seems to be your catchphrase these days. Just don’t let it happen again.” 

“You’re not the boss of me,” James replied like a child. He instantly regretted trying to stand up for himself. 

“Oh?” Regulus stepped a little closer. “Are you gonna go running to Sirius and tell him you shagged his little brother then?” He spoke slow and careful and his voice took on a sultry tone as he brought a hand up to James’ shoulder, teasing at the collar of his shirt. His hand was freezing. “Tell him you took him upstairs, layed him down on his bed, locked the door so no one could come in, and fucked him while Sirius himself was just across the hall? Hm? Are you gonna tell him that?” 

James swallowed. Regulus was a cunt. “Okay, fine. You win. I’ll try to be more careful.” 

Regulus pulled away, body language and expression going back to neutral. “That’s what I thought. Does this mean our war is over? No more pranks?” He sounded almost hopeful and James knew he couldn’t let him have all the fun. 

“Ah ah ah,” he tutted. “You’re not getting out of this that easily.” James stepped closer himself as Regulus hadn’t backed up too far. “Unless, of course, you’re willing to go on that date?” 

Regulus looked at him pointedly. “Never. I’m gonna kick your arse in this little game of yours.” 

“Oh I would love to see that,” James taunted. “So long as you can resist me through out it.” He loved teasing Regulus. He didn’t know why. It was just the way Regulus always looked so surprised by it. Like he wasn’t expecting James to make a pass at him. It was amusing how he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. James knew it was the only time Regulus let his mask slip and he loved seeing the raw look on the boy’s face. Like maybe there was  a part of him that wanted to take James up on his offer. James wondered what he would do if he did. Would the game still be as enticing? 

Regulus wrinkled his nose cutely. “Don’t flatter yourself, Potter. You disgust me.” 

“Oh yeah?,” James stepped a little closer so they were toe to toe. Regulus didn’t back down, clearly too prideful to do so. “Is that why you were moaning and begging for me that night?” Please Jamie. The words echoed in his mind.

“I was drunk, Potter. I hardly knew what I was doing.” Regulus looked up at him, gray eyes glinting. 

“Is that why you kissed me first?” James challenged.

“You kissed me.” Regulus had his hands behind his back and James wondered if he was trying to keep his hands to himself. 

“That’s not how I remember it.” James tried to keep his own hands from reaching out. 

“Well, then maybe you need a fuller reminder.” Regulus tilted his chin up to look him dead in the eyes. 

Wait. Pause. “What?” James blanched. All traces of argument slowly dissipated.  

Regulus smirked, standing a little straighter. His hands were kept behind his back and he had innocence written all over his face. “You heard me.” 

“A reminder?” James repeated. What was happening?

Regulus bit his lip, looked down at James’ own lips, and then met his eyes again. “Yeah, Jamie. A reminder.” And oh, he had no idea what that nickname did to his body. It took him all the way back to that night. That magical night.

“I—Are you sure?” James had to know this wasn’t a joke. But Regulus seemed so serious about the idea. Was this even a good idea? Not at all. Yet James wanted it anyway. 

Regulus took one hand from behind his back and placed it carefully on the side of James’ neck. “As long as you promise me that Sirius will never find out about any of this.” 

“I—I promise,” James said stupidly. Were they really about to do this? Was he about to kiss Regulus again? Please, let this not be a dream. What was he doing? What was Regulus doing? Why did he have to be so pretty? 

“Close your eyes for me then,” Regulus trailed his hand up and brushed his thumb against the skin under his eye. His hand was still a little cold and it was soothing against James’ warm cheek. He fluttered his eyes closed and felt the warmth of Regulus’ breath against his lips. The moment was bringing back memories from that night. How Regulus had just pulled him in and James couldn’t resist. Why couldn’t James resist? It was like Regulus had this pull about him that he couldn’t say no to. It was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

The mess only got worse as he heard a spraying sound and he was suddenly cold and wet all over his face. Tiny specks of white spit on his glasses, not quite obstructing his vision as his eyes snapped open in surprise to see Regulus with the hand he’d had behind his back previously now holding a bright red can of reddi whip. James couldn’t register anything other than blind rage.  “Are you fucking serious?” He sputtered, spitting the liquid out. 

“No, that’s disgusting.” Regulus replied coldly and amusedly, the joke completely out of character for him to make.  

“Really?” James yelled, more embarrassed than angry. He couldn’t believe he actually fell for that. How did Regulus know he was that stupid? “This is what you came up with?” 

Regulus shrugged and coughed out a slight laugh. “I had to come prepared. Trust no one in a prank war. You taught me that.” 

James took a hand and wiped the substance off his cheek. “What did you think I was going to do to you when you came to see me?” 

Regulus at least looked a little guilty even though it was clear he was pretty proud of himself. “Well, I wasn’t planning on using it on you but the opportunity was just too good.” Then he did laugh. Hard. It was one of the few times James had even been able to see it and he couldn’t even enjoy it. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment and anger. “I didn’t think you’d actually fall for it.” 

Neither did James. He thought Regulus had no power over him. He thought he was only testing the waters of what could be. He didn’t think he could be swindled so easily. Regulus was different than anyone James had ever met and the ease with which he was able to convince him to fall under his spell scared him a little. Not just because he might be falling for his best friend’s little brother but because he wasn’t even sure if this feeling he had was that at all. James had never felt so conflicted about a person he wanted to both kiss and punch at the same time.

James wiped his face with his hand again, tossing the excess on the ground between them. “That was cruel even for you.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes scornfully. “Here’s a French lesson for you, Jamie.” James hated him. “Ne sois pas un mauvais perdant. It means don’t be a sore loser. You’re gonna need to remember that at the end of all this.” He smiled sinfully. James hated how attractive his voice sounded speaking French and how pretty his mouth looked forming the words. “And what’s that? Two to one? Gotta catch up or your pranking days are over.” 

Oh hell no. 

Regulus had no idea what those words had just unleashed in James. “I hate you,” James spit and stomped off like a fucking child. 

“I see you’ve already forgotten the lesson I just taught you, you’re not a very good student!” Regulus called out in faux disappointment. James ignored him.

On his way around the corner, he almost bumped into Evan who looked at him in surprise. “Hey, James. What—” 

“I don’t want to talk about it!” James shouted, startling the poor lad. 

“Oh wow,” Evan said as he recovered. “This is unexpected.” You’re telling me, James thought irritated. “Mind if I…” Evan brandished the camera around his neck. James had heard from Remus that the boy was using his prank war with Regulus as the subject for his final project. He didn’t mind as he actually quite liked Evan since he was similar to his sister Pandora only a little bitchier and harder to read. 

“Just get my good side,” James spat. “And you better capture my win.” 

Evan took three photos in quick succession and tched at his words. “Yeah, okay, Potter.” 

That pissed James off even more. “I’m gonna win!” He called after the boy, knowing it was futile and pointless as Evan was already walking away and had a short attention span. 

He heard two distant shutter clicks and Evan’s voice saying “So it wouldn’t kill you to smile.” 

James marched all the way back to his dorm seething and it was right then that he vowed no more messing around. Regulus had used his complicated feelings against him and that was fucked up. But he would not get him a second time. 

Regulus was not going to fucking win. 

***

There was a snake in his bed. 

When Regulus woke up the next morning, before his alarm even went off, he felt a cold sensation on his leg. One of his sweatpants was rolled up and he definitely didn’t remember doing that. It felt like he was wearing an anklet with a charm on it that kept brushing against the top of his foot. 

Regulus sat up and yanked the blanket off his body to see that wrapped around his ankle was a tiny live snake. It was brown and spotted in yellow all over and it kept flicking its little tongue out to brush his skin. He screamed and shook it off, shuddering against his pillows. The noise woke up his roommates, both of them looking around frantically for the danger. 

Barty shot up. “What? What’s happened?” He looked over at Regulus to see that he was perfectly alright. Then his eyes scanned to the end of the bed. “Who’s your friend?” 

Evan rubbed his eyes and registered their new companion. He got out of his own bed and came over, crouching down next to the snake slithering along Regulus’ covers. “Aww, it’s a baby ball python.” He cupped his hand and thankfully took the creature away.  

Regulus remained pressed against his pillows with his arms wrapped around his legs. “I don’t care what kind of snake it is, why is it in here?”

“She,” Evan corrected, letting the snake wrap itself around his fingers. Regulus wanted to know how he even knew that. 

Barty came over now that he knew there was no danger. “Aww, she’s so cute. Can we keep her, Reg?” Evan looked at him hopefully. Those two were seriously deranged. 

“No,” Regulus said and got out of his own bed, careful not to go anywhere near the danger noodle. “What is it—she—doing in here anyway?” 

“I assume this was Potter’s idea of a prank?” Evan said, watching his new friend with interest. “Not a very good one in my opinion.” 

“Scared Reg, didn’t it?” Barty laughed. “So I’d say mission accomplished.” 

“I wasn’t scared,” Regulus protested. “I was merely startled.” 

“Is that why you screamed?” Barty asked with a raised brow and a smirk. Evan snickered. 

“Fuck you both,” Regulus said and opened their bathroom door so he could go wash off the slimy feeling on his ankle. “You know what, keep the damn thing for all I care.  Just keep her far away from me.” He slammed the door behind him, hearing a quiet cheer behind it. 

Later, he and his friends were all gathered together for breakfast. Regulus hated his life as Pandora and Dorcas cooed at Evan’s new friend. Contrary to popular belief, Regulus was not a fan of things without fur. Sirius had once presented him with a lizard he’d found in their backyard and Regulus had screamed loudly and ran back inside as his brother toppled over from laughter. Regulus didn’t understand why hairless creatures existed. Why couldn’t Potter put a cat in his room instead? It might’ve defeated the purpose, but it would’ve been better for him. 

Regulus supposed that wasn’t the point. 

“I’m gonna call her Sally,” Evan said with a smile. Barty stared fondly at him when Evan wasn’t looking and Regulus had the sudden urge to gag. 

“And what are you gonna do when you have to go home over break?” He inquired with a wave of his spoon. Evan and Pandora’s parents were divorced and separated them when they were ten due to their father wanting to raise Evan to run the company he owned one day. 

Also because he thought of Pandora and their mother as inherently silly and eccentric and Evan was not supposed to be like that even though he definitely was. So Evan had to hide his true self when he was at home, something Regulus was all too familiar with. This meant no talking about Pandora or Barty (their father hated Barty and everything he stood for), leaving his camera at school, and absolutely not bringing his new pet home. 

Evan’s expression looked conflicted but luckily Pandora cut in with a, “I’ll take care of her. I already have an enclosure.” 

“Why do you have—” Dorcas started then thought better of it, “you know what? Never mind. That’s great, Panda.” 

Pandora beamed. 

“I think our child will be happy with her aunt over break, don’t you, Rosie?” Barty said, wrapping a careful arm around Evan who nodded gratefully. 

“Your child?” Dorcas said. “Are you two co-parenting a snake?”

Barty ignored the jest in her tone and pulled Evan closer to himself. “Of course we are. Sally needs two loving parents in her life.” He kissed Evan on the temple. Evan didn’t flinch which would’ve seemed like progress if he wasn’t clearly more focused on the creature on his tray with obvious stars in his eyes. Barty then flicked the boy in the ear. 

Evan smacked his hand and finally looked up. “What?” 

“Eat something, angel.” Barty said in a voice reserved for Evan. “Set a good example.” 

“Oh, right.” Evan scooped up Sally and put her on his shirt collar. “I’ll have to take some pictures of her later. Will you help me, B?” 

Barty looked like he could cry from relief that Evan and him were finally back to normal, using their personal nicknames and making plans to hang out alone. “‘Course.” God, he was pathetic. 

Remus finally joined them and sat next to Regulus. “Hello,” he greeted and dug a spoon into his oatmeal. He paused with the spoon halfway to his mouth. “Um, who’s your friend?” 

“Sally apparently.” Regulus huffed. 

“Potter’s newest prank,” Dorcas provided. “I assume because our dorm’s mascot is a snake.” 

“Could’ve killed me,” Regulus muttered. “Didn’t think Potter had it in him.” He didn’t think he’d pissed him off that badly. Regulus actually wondered how James had even gotten into their dorm much less been able to enter, deposit Sally, and leave without waking any of them up. Barty was a light sleeper.

“Ball pythons aren’t poisonous,” Evan pointed out. “If she bit you, it would’ve been because you scared her, not because she wanted to kill you.” 

“Oh, sure. Take the snake’s side.” Regulus crossed his arms. 

“Don’t talk about our child that way,” Evan replied, stroking the snake on the back. She had begun dipping her head into his shirt and slithering down and Regulus didn’t know how he wasn’t uncomfortable or disgusted. 

“How did Potter even get into our dorm room anyway?” Barty wondered. 

Remus swallowed his bite. “Oh, I let him borrow my key.” His voice held no remorse whatsoever. 

There was indignance all around the table. 

“Remus!” Barty shouted. “Et tu Brute?” He put a hand to his chest dramatically like Remus had personally assaulted him. 

“I gave you that key because I trusted you, what the fuck?” Regulus demanded. Every student at Hogwarts Academy was provided with two keys to their dorm room. Two because they knew an entire school of children and teens were bound to lose their key at some point and they didn’t want to deal with constantly having to provide a new one every time so everyone was given a spare. Regulus, Barty, and Evan didn’t really have that problem so allowed their spares to be used by their other friends. 

Barty gave his to Dorcas because she often needed a quiet place to practice and also broke her guitar strings by accident one too many times and Barty always had extra. Evan, of course, gave his to his twin because Pandora very much needed to nap at least five times a day and her roommates were constantly in a tirade and she unfortunately wasn’t put into the Slytherin dorms and couldn’t live with her brother or Dorcas instead. Granted, she could’ve transferred but that would’ve caused problems for Evan since he wasn’t allowed to be near her. Regulus gave his to Remus also for napping purposes because he knew that his idiot brother and idiot friend couldn’t be quiet to save their lives. Also Regulus liked having Remus around because he was quiet and made a good study partner even though he was in the year above him. His presence was calming and Regulus enjoyed knowing that Remus found him safe just as he did. 

Too bad that was ruined now. 

“I thought you said you weren’t going to get involved?” Pandora interrogated. 

“I’m not,” Remus replied coolly. “James just wouldn’t stop whining because Regulus sprayed him with whipped cream—nice one, by the way,” he held his hand up for a fist bump and Regulus couldn’t help indulging him regardless of his irritation with his friend. What can he say? He enjoyed being praised for his work even though it was spur of the moment. He really hadn’t been planning on it, there was just some part of him that felt like he needed to bring the can he’d originally stolen from Evan’s stash of snacks. Then he’d thought of it randomly while he couldn’t stop focusing on the way James’ lips moved while they were arguing. Like a damn fool. 

“Plus I guess I owed him for letting Regulus in which is what started this whole mess. But this is the last time!” Remus added the last part with an indignant point of his finger at them all lest anyone else get any ideas about asking for his help. 

“I hate you,” Regulus said like a child. He couldn’t help being a little bit hurt that Remus hadn’t stood his ground and told James no. He looked over at the table where the idiot was sat laughing with his brother and other friends. James must’ve felt eyes on him because he then looked over and saw Regulus watching him. The idiot smirked and gave him a two-fingered salute that had Regulus seething. 

“No, you don’t.” Remus replied easily because he knew Regulus wouldn’t stay mad at him for long. Regulus hated that that was true. He made a mental note to ignore him for at least three days to make him sweat a little because he was petty and he wanted Remus to feel every bit of his upset at him. 

Regulus stood from the table, ignoring his friend’s asking where he was headed. He was a man on a mission as he stomped over to James who ceased his conversation and looked up at him. “Hello, Reggie. Can I help you?” 

“Cute prank,” Regulus taunted, almost biting his tongue to stop himself from telling James not to call him Reggie. “I guess we’re tied, but you’ll have to do better than that if you actually want to beat me.” He looked over at his table where he’d left his friends. 

James did the same and saw Sally pop her head out of Evan’s sleeve and begin wrapping around his bicep. He frowned. “Oh my god, is the snake your fucking pal now?” Regulus felt prideful hearing the exasperation in his voice. 

“Was that not the intention?” He asked, voice dripping in sarcasm. “I think she and Rosier make a good pair.” 

Sirius chuckled. “You Slytherin’s are a different breed. Though nice one, James. Reggie’s afraid of things without fur.” 

Regulus scowled. “Shut up, Sirius. Who’s side are you on?” Sirius opened his mouth. “Don’t answer that.” The answer was obvious and Regulus didn’t want to hear it. “Anyways, I just came over here to tell you…” he leaned in close to James, voice taking a dangerous note, “Don’t ever use Remus against me again or I swear I will put worse than a snake in your bed.” 

James infuriatingly looked unphased. “Oh, are we fighting for Remus now?” 

“No, because he’s fucking mine.” Regulus hissed. He didn’t care that he was acting like a petty child not wanting to share his favorite toy. “You can’t have everyone, Potter.” 

“Aw, are you jealous?” There was amusement in his voice that made Regulus want to hit him.  

“Just stay away from him or I’ll make good on my threat.” With that, he spun on his heel and walked back to his table. 

From behind him, he could hear Pettigrew. “Our mascot is a lion. He wouldn’t put a lion in our dorm, would he?” 

Sirius laughed goodnaturedly and replied, “With my brother, who knows?” 

Three days later had Regulus sitting on the steps outside his dorm hall reading. He had a pen in hand, writing his thoughts in the margins. He made good on his promise to himself to ignore Remus for at least three days but it was getting a little bit hard because Remus was not one to play petty games. He often treated Regulus like he was a child and it made him feel like Remus was sometimes like all of Sirius’ other friends who thought of Regulus as just Sirius’ little brother. That’s why he was so angry. Really, Remus hadn’t done anything wrong. It was Regulus who always had higher expectations of people than they were able or willing to give. Most people didn’t care when Regulus was upset with them or if he was throwing a tantrum. Most people usually let him go off for as long as he wanted and then asked him if he was done like he was a baby. Sirius usually sighed and jokingly asked if he needed a nap and that just made Regulus throw things. 

Remus wasn’t like everyone else though. That’s what made him good for Regulus. Regulus was ashamed that he expected so much from Remus because living with his brother and James made him so easy to be taken away from him. Ever since they became friends, Regulus always wondered when Remus would ditch him and become a part of their merry group and leave him behind. He didn’t want to believe it, but he didn’t have a very good track record. He was lucky to have made the friends he did but, to be honest, they were just convenient circumstances. Barty and Evan’s parents were friends with Regulus’ so he had no choice but to befriend them and then they ended up living in the same dorm room when he transitioned. Pandora came with Evan and Dorcas befriended Barty before Regulus and he once shared a room with her so really it was all simple coincidence. 

Remus, however, had sought him out. He knew Regulus was his roommate’s little brother and wanted to make him feel welcome to the academy. He even said once that he didn’t want Regulus to feel like he was alone because Sirius was being unreasonable getting angry at him for ending up in the same dorm house that their parents had when they went to their school. It wasn’t like he’d had a choice and as much as he would’ve liked to live close to his brother, he didn’t mind the people he lived around and he couldn’t abandon Barty and Evan. They would probably torture whatever poor soul took his place so really Regulus was doing the lord’s work. 

It hadn’t occurred to him to transfer and he honestly didn’t want to. Sirius, the idiot, thought that that meant he wanted to grow up to be just like their parents, co-runners of a corrupt corporation, as it was a known fact that those who ended up in the Slytherin dorm were made to be politicians and run companies that endorsed terrible environments. It really wasn’t his fault the academy required an aptitude test that suggested the dorm you lived in. Slytherin was for those who were ambitious and even though they had that track record, it didn’t necessarily mean they had to become business majors one day. It was actually surprising how many art majors resided in Slytherin Hall these days.  Regulus was lucky he had control over the classes he took at least. 

But Remus had come to him. Not by chance. Not by coincidence or happenstance. By his own free will. He was kind and funny and, if James Potter hadn’t looked at Regulus with a shiny smile and ocean blue eyes, he might be nursing an entirely different crush. Though that would definitely ruin things because Regulus was pretty sure Remus was the only person in his life who truly understood him. 

Which is probably why he had waited until now to walk up to him with a hot vanilla latte in hand after three days of not speaking. He had sent Regulus only one text that was just Omg Reggie please forgive me I can’t stand not hearing your sexy voice with a scared emoji accompanied by two crying emojis. Regulus could hear the sarcasm and mocking tone when he’d left him on read. He hated that the shithead had actually made him smile with that text. 

“You done throwing a tantrum yet?” Remus asked, holding the coffee out to him. 

Regulus squinted at him. “Say you’re sorry.” 

Remus sighed. “I’m sorry you’re so dramatic.” 

Regulus glared at him but took the apology latte, sipping it. He savored the sweet taste with annoyance and warmth in his belly, knowing the bastard actually knew just how he liked his coffee with a shit ton of sugar. “I want my key back.” 

Remus sipped his own drink. A chai latte of his own. “No.” 

Regulus, miffed, asked, “How did Potter even get a snake anyway?” 

Remus smirked. “Sirius found it on the field and gave him the idea.” Of course he did. Sirius was such a traitor. “In my defense, I had no idea where James was going with that idea. At least he didn’t hang it on your doorknob or make it fall on you.” 

“He’s too nice for that,” Regulus said to himself. 

Remus set his coffee down next to him and leaned back on one of the steps, his elbows holding him up. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

“Bastard,” Regulus mumbled. He was annoyed that even when James was getting back at him, he was still nice. 

“He actually googled whether the snake was poisonous, you know. Pretty sure he just wanted it out of our room because Peter was getting worried about it eating Scabbers.” Remus said staring at the sky. Scabbers was Pettigrew’s pet rat, a secret very few knew about. 

“I believe it.” 

“He also told me about your little stunt yesterday. With the whipped cream. And a little bit before that…” Remus then looked at him with a raised brow. 

Regulus flushed. God, could James keep a secret from anyone that wasn’t Sirius? “It was just a prank. I wasn’t actually going to kiss him.” 

“I know,” Remus smirked again. “But you wanted to.” 

“Fuck off, I did not.” Regulus looked away so Remus couldn’t see how red he was getting. He was clearly lying and Remus knew it. To be honest, his friend was right. There was a part of Regulus in that moment that genuinely wanted to kiss James just then. He thought about how James might snake an arm around his waist as Regulus fell into him. How he might cradle his face with his other hand. How Regulus would probably run his fingers through the other’s soft curls and tug just slightly to have James moaning against his lips. How James might take the hand on his waist and travel it down to his ass, his thigh. How Regulus might hike his leg up around his hip and—STOP. 

Regulus felt a warmth tugging painfully at his stomach. The memories of that blissful night only six months ago traveled through his mind and settled in a gentle ache in his heart. He tried not to think about it but James was so right in saying he rocked his world though Regulus wouldn’t dare admit that to him. Or Remus for that matter. 

Remus chuckled. “You know, you could just tell him you like him. Then all of this could be over.” 

Regulus wanted to hit him. “Absolutely not. That would only cause more problems I really don’t need right now.” It was easier this way. James clearly knew about his feelings. That’s why he teased him all the time and asked him out constantly. He was obviously making fun of him.

Regulus played the scenario over a million times in his head. What if he looked James in the eye and simply said Okay, Potter. I’ll go out with you. Every time he thought about it, he always imagined the shock in James’ eyes and the pitying smile he might give him as he says Oh. That’s not—I don’t… And Regulus wouldn’t be able to handle it.

For it’s one thing to know someone doesn’t love you back and it’s a whole nother to see the look in their eyes as they let you down gently. No. This little war he’d found himself in was so much easier than having his heart broken by his brother’s silly little friend with the kind eyes and messy hair that Regulus just wanted to comb with his fingers every time he saw him. 

Knock it off. 

Remus sighed like Regulus irritated him. “You know, you’re really not that different from Barty and Evan.” 

Regulus guffawed. “Oh, don’t you dare compare me to them. If I knew James liked me half as much as I liked him, we would be together already. I’m stubborn, not stupid.” 

“Evan’s not stupid,” Remus said, picking his cup back up and peering into it. “He’s just scared. And I think you and him are a lot alike in that aspect.” 

Regulus narrowed his eyes at his friend. “How so?” 

“You both think that the object of your affections couldn’t possibly like you back because of some ridiculous notion while not even giving them a chance to try.” 

“Evan’s scared of how much Barty likes him and that that might go away when he finds out who he really is. I’m scared of James not liking me at all. We are not the same.” Evan was a moron who couldn’t see what was right in front of him and Barty was an even bigger moron who lied too much about his real feelings to protect himself. 

Remus glanced at him with a curious tilt of his head. “And how do you know James doesn’t like you?” 

“Because, Remus. James loves loudly and proudly. If he really liked me, he would’ve shouted it from the rooftops. So as much as I would love for him to want me, it’s just not true and I have to be okay with that.” Regulus pulled his knees up on the next step and wrapped his arms around them, sighing and trying his best not to cry. Sometimes he hated these little talks with Remus because they always made him feel a little too vulnerable.

His mind flashed back to the beginning of James and Lily Evan’s relationship. How James had asked her out in front of everyone every day until she finally said yes. How on Valentine’s Day, he stood up on a table and sang her a ridiculous song in Spanish and presented her with a rose. Mi corazon he called her while she shook her head and called him an idiot with a smile before bringing him in for a kiss. Regulus remembered excusing himself and going to the bathroom to stop himself from sobbing in front of his friends. 

“Okay, okay,” Remus relented. “I’m only going to say this and then I’ll drop it. Please just promise me that you won’t let yourself get hurt with this silly little prank war.” 

Remus, sweet Remus always made Regulus feel important. Ever since they met, Regulus never felt like there wasn’t at least one person on his side. “I would never let that happen.” Regulus said softly. 

“Good, because I’d hate to have to beat James up.” Remus’ voice took on a tone that was probably supposed to sound menacing but really just came out like a puppy growling. 

Regulus snorted. “Yeah, whatever. And what about you, Mister High and Mighty?” 

Remus raised a brow. “What about me?” 

Regulus leaned in. “What about your crush? You have all this shit to say about mine and Evan’s love lives yet I don’t see you walking around campus with anyone but your dormmates.” 

Remus, for just a moment, looked like he finally might tell all. Regulus knew his friend was keeping something from him. He knew Remus liked someone and he couldn’t tell who and Remus kept denying it every time he brought it up. But Regulus knew him better than anyone and ever since summer break ended, he had been looking longingly at certain areas and he always seemed like there was something he needed to tell Regulus. And Regulus hated that Remus wouldn’t tell him. They didn’t usually have secrets between each other until this.

Who was Regulus to talk though? He’d been keeping it hidden that he’d slept with James this entire time. Mostly because he was worried about Remus analyzing it to death and he wasn’t quite ready to face the implications of what their night together might’ve meant to James. 

Remus wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He squinted at him suspiciously. “Liar. Why can’t you just tell me? What, you think I’ll push you the way you’ve been pushing me? Think I’ll force you to face your feelings? Wait, is it someone I know?” A twinge in Remus’ jaw. It was someone he knew. “Oh, please tell me it’s not James.” Regulus didn’t think he’d be able to handle it. 

Remus immediately wrinkled his nose in disgust and looked at him incredulously. “Ew, no. I’ve seen that man’s bare ass and been tortured by his snoring. His whole existence is a dealbreaker for me.” 

Regulus almost let out all the air in his body in a relieved sigh. “How dare you see him naked before me!” He replied dramatically. He had also seen James naked and heard him snore but he really did have a nice arse and the sounds he made whilst asleep was really more snuffling like a baby deer and Regulus found it endearing. 

Remus rolled his eyes. “We share a dorm, Reg. It’s impossible not to but good on you, you sure do know how to pick ‘em.” He winked flirtatiously and laughed when Regulus shoved his shoulder. “In all seriousness, James is not for me. He’s way too bulky, I like my men soft and maybe a little short and loud and not afraid to be themselves.” He smiled fondly like he had someone in mind and it was the look on his face that had Regulus aching to know who it was that made his friend smile like that. Remus then looked at him. “I wouldn’t do that to you anyway. You know I can’t stand the thought of you being mad at me.”

The way he said that last sentence was all in jest yet Regulus knew there was some truth behind it. He and Remus rarely fought and when they did, it was usually bantering and Regulus pretending to be mad when he was really just annoyed. Like what happened with the snake and Remus allowing James to use his key. Regulus hadn’t really been mad but he needed three days to cool off. That was usually the amount of time he and Remus would spend a part when one had offended the other. 

Regulus could never really be mad at Remus though which is why he couldn’t wrap his head around why his friend was keeping such a secret from him. He hoped that Remus trusted him enough to tell him who the object of his affections was. They were best friends and they told each other everything. That’s what he’d thought anyway. 

“I would never be mad at you for being in love,” Regulus had to say it and Remus smiled a little sadly. 

“I know,” he whispered. “Just not yet, okay?” And Regulus had no choice but to respect that. Remus would tell him when he was ready. 

“Okay,” Regulus moved in closer and rested his head gently on his friends shoulder. The sun was beginning to set. “Just promise me that whoever this person is, they’re good for you and treat you right. I would hate to have to beat someone up either.” And he would do it too. Even if it was his own brother, Regulus would destroy anyone who made Remus upset. 

Regulus heard the smile in the other’s voice as he carefully bumped his temple against the top of his head and wrapped an arm around Regulus to pull him close. “Don’t worry about me.” It wasn’t the promise Regulus had wanted and he realized that he hadn’t really promised either. There was a part of him that worried though. That at the end of all this, they both might end up hurt. 

Regulus just hoped they’d be there to pick up each other’s pieces. 

James: 2

Regulus: 2