We Were Both Young
In the defense of James Potter, none of this would’ve happened if Severus Snape hadn’t called Lily Evans a cow.
Sure, they weren’t together anymore and it hurt to see his ex with someone else, a girl no less, (that wasn’t the problem, Pandora was lovely) but if there was one thing anyone knew about James it was that he was very protective of those he held dear. Another thing from people who knew him a little bit better was that he loved with his whole heart and that kind of love didn’t just go away.
“It’s really not that big of a deal, James.” Lily said at lunch that day, hours after the incident happened. “He says things like that all the time.”
“And that is exactly why he must be punished.” James replied cheerily whilst scribbling in his notebook. He’d had the thing since first year. It was this ratty torn binding of a book that his parents had gifted him before his first year at Hogwarts Academy Boarding School. They probably expected him to use the present to journal his innermost thoughts to keep him satiated but after meeting one Sirius Black, it had quickly turned into the book where he kept track of his best prank ideas.
“Yeah,” said Sirius Black in question who was leaning over his shoulder. “We can’t let him get away with insulting our best girl.” He winked at the redhead. Lily rolled her eyes with a smile on her lips. The same lips that James still remembered the feel of on his own. It was like a phantom pain, the pang in his heart he used to feel when she’d sat him down and said the words James, I don’t think we should be together anymore. That had hurt like being run over by a train. The next morning came the announcement that his ex-girlfriend was now dating Pandora Rosier. That had hurt a little bit worse than the train. It wasn’t the fact that Pandora was another girl, he liked her and they were…kinda friends. He got along with her fine though he couldn’t really talk to her much with her own merry band of misfits trailing her all the time. It was that Lily hadn’t waited even a full twenty-four hours before walking the halls holding hands with someone else. And he didn’t like what that implied.
In the two years they’d dated they’d never fought but when James saw them together, he couldn’t hold it in and they’d had a screaming match that the entirety of Gryffindor Hall heard. Their breakup went down in Hogwarts history as the time a whole school section had been divided like children with divorced parents. They were the power couple of Gryffindor Hall and that changed the dynamic for the rest of the year.
It was like a wave washed over them and word got back to the other dormhouses with some people choosing sides which was the last thing either of them wanted. It was honestly ridiculous how invested everyone got in their relationship and they both thought so.
The next year after the summer passed, Lily came to him on the first day and apologized. It had calmly been explained that even though she hadn’t cheated on him physically, he still didn’t deserve to be strung along while she was harboring feelings for someone else. James didn’t want to forgive her but he had to remember that they’d been friends before they’d dated and Lily Evans was a very good friend to have and he didn’t want to lose that. Plus Pandora treated her better than James ever had. Not to say he was a bad boyfriend, at least he didn’t think he was, they just fit better than James and Lily ever did. He’d never seen Lily so happy and that was all that mattered to him in the end.
And even though James had moved on, (yes he did , Sirius) the following summer, he couldn’t get the echoes of the end of their argument out of his head. It played on a loop over and over in his mind on the nights he couldn’t sleep.
How could you do this? I loved you!
Did you?
That was the part he couldn’t get over. He wasn’t up late thinking about Lily and the past of their relationship, but that quiet questioning Did you? because he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what she meant by that. His love should never have been a question and maybe that’s why he was so quick to forgive her for emotionally cheating on him because he felt like it was a little bit his fault if he hadn’t loved her enough. He vowed to never make that mistake again.
So yeah. They were friends now. And James was very protective of his friends.
He started a new line in his notebook and scribbled his idea down. It wasn’t necessarily one he hadn’t done before but it was different this time and it would satisfy the little gremlin inside of him that craved chaos.
James slid his book to Sirius, covering it a little so no one else could see. “What do you think of this, Pads?” He asked tapping the page with his pen. “Pads?” He called again when he didn’t get a response.
Sirius wasn’t listening. He was staring off into space. James followed where his eyes were and rolled them. Of course. What else would Sirius Black be looking at other than Remus Lupin? Remus who was walking by their table, Sirius following him with his eyes. The bronze-haired boy must’ve felt the eyes on him as he looked their way and smiled with an aknowledging nod in their direction.
“Hi, Remus!” James said loudly just to mess with Sirius.
Sirius snapped out of it and slapped a hand over his mouth. “What is wrong with you?!”
James plucked his friend’s hand from his face. “You could ask him out, you know.”
“I can’t do that!”
“And why not?” Lily inquired, popping a grape into her mouth.
“Because—Because—”
“Exactly. Because nothing.” James rolled his eyes. “Because you have no reason not to ask out the person you’ve had a crush on for three years and have been sharing a room with for almost seven. Just do it, Pads. You’re single. He’s single. You’re hot. He’s—”
“Don’t you dare says he’s hot, Prongs or I’ll stab you with this fork.” Sirius brandished said fork in warning.
James raised his hands in surrender. “You’re violent when you’re jealous.”
“Good qualities for Remus.” Peter Pettigrew said amusedly.
“He is my brother’s best friend.” Sirius said, putting down the fork and crossing his arms. James moved the fork out of his reach.
“That’s what you’re going with?” Marlene Mckinnon said with a raised brow. None of them believed this excuse.
“Yup. Mhm. Remus definitely has a code of ethics and I respect that.”
They all looked over at the table where Remus went to sit with his own group of friends. A table that consisted of Barty Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, Pandora Rosier, Dorcas Meadowes and, of course, Regulus Black, Sirius’ little brother and the person who caused the previously stated moving on that no one believed him about. Even though he teased him, it hadn’t really confused James about why his friend was so concerned with asking Remus out. Potentially procuring the wrath of his younger brother in doing so was a definite possibility. It made perfect sense to James as he was harboring a secret about his moving on that Sirius had no idea about and James wasn’t planning on ever telling him.
Because Snape shouldn’t get all the credit. Going back a little further, you could say this actually all started last summer.
James had spent most of it in his room trying to wrap his head around what Lily meant when they broke up. Regulus had spent his time alone as well, having finally moved into the Potter’s residence with Sirius two years prior after coming out to their mother as trans and gay respectfully. Well, Regulus had both labels but he didn’t like to talk about it and it definitely didn’t stop him from getting hot when he turned fifteen in June. James definitely noticed that even when he was still with Lily. Not that that should be noted or anything.
They’d always been cordial towards one another. Well, James had. Regulus was usually quite standoffish and a little bit of a spit fire when it came to talking to James. He would often leave the room when James entered or glare at him whenever James so much as said hello. But that summer was when things suddenly shifted. It was like Regulus had decided James wasn’t as annoying as he’d thought and god, did he want to know what he was thinking when he’d pulled James down into his bed that fateful night in July. It was at a party James and Sirius had thrown while the Potter Parents were out of town for the weekend.
Honestly, maybe it wouldn’t have happened if Sirius had gotten the courage to ask out Remus long before this because they were really only throwing it so Sirius could get closer to the other boy. Because it was under the guise of being a belated birthday party for Regulus and they knew Remus would come if it was for the younger Black. James was nothing if not a good friend and a willing participant in the other’s dramatics. With how rowdy and out of hand the party had gotten, they were lucky his parents remained none the wiser. Or he was sure they pretended to at least.
Long story cut short, Regulus could be seen downing bouts of alcohol and even though James was drinking himself he wasn’t going to risk interrupting Sirius making headway by informing him his little brother was pissed. So he took it upon himself to usher the younger up the stairs and put him to bed. But when he tried to leave him to sleep, Regulus was asking the random question of if James was incredibly intoxicated. When he answered no, Regulus pulled him down into a kiss.
Now, kissing your best friend’s brother was something James never would’ve done completely sober. And in his defense, he was still a bit heartbroken over Lily and vulnerable, and fuck Regulus was a better kisser than he’d ever imagined. Which he did imagine a lot after this happened.
One thing led to another and the next morning, they both woke up naked and that was it for James. He was awoken by Regulus promptly throwing his shirt back at him and demanding he get the hell up and out of his room before Sirius woke up. James listened and got dressed, respectfully keeping his eyes down even though he really wanted to watch Regulus put his clothes back on.
Oh hell, he couldn’t resist and briefly looked. What he saw was so satisfying to him as he could see his own artwork painted on the skin of Regulus Black’s hips and inner thighs. He smiled to himself, heart rate picking up. The moment was short lived however as Regulus caught him staring and threw his trousers at him.
Dressed, James crossed the room to where Regulus was standing fiercely tugging his shirt down. “So. What now?”
Regulus looked up at him with a scowl. “What do you mean, ‘what now’? You’re going to get the fuck out of my room and pretend this never happened.”
“Oh, come on, Reggie. At least let me take you out.” James wasn’t the type for a one-night stand. He wanted to see where this went.
The younger looked furious at the statement and pointedly shoved James away from him. “Absolutely not. And don’t call me ‘Reggie’. This was a one time thing, Potter. It shouldn’t have happened and I’m already trying to forget about it so get. out.”
James spun Regulus to look at him, lightly gripping his hips and thumbs pressing into the marks he left. Regulus gasped but tried to hide it. “Are you sure? Because I think I just rocked your world and do you really wanna throw away a thing like that? We have a connection, don’t you feel it?”
Regulus’ lips parted and his eyes fluttered a little before he immediately snapped out of it and shoved James away so hard he stumbled a little. “First of all, we were both drunk. It was a mistake.”
“I wasn’t that drunk.”
“Second of all,” the boy continued as if James hadn’t spoken, “the only thing I feel right now is the visceral urge to throw up in my mouth at the idea of ever going on a date with the likes of you. I do not go on dates with people I hate.”
“You hate me?” James responded confusedly. “But I’m nice and respectful to you.” He really hadn’t meant for that to come out as stupid sounding as it did.
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re being real respectful right now staring at me while I’m changing and not getting out like I asked.”
“Well, it’s hard not to stare at someone as beautiful as you. Sorry.” James shrugged, not sorry at all.
Regulus didn’t appreciate it though as he’d sighed loudly. “Get. Out.” He punctuated the words through gritted teeth.
“Fine. But don’t think this is over.” James pointed at him and left the room, narrowly avoiding the shoe thrown at him.
Regulus had made it perfectly clear that morning that there was no alternate universe in which he would agree to a date with him but that didn’t stop James from trying. Because something had shifted that night. And what Regulus didn’t know was that it had really been James’ first time. He’d gotten close with Lily a few times but one of them always stopped it, insisting they weren’t ready. It just never was the right time for them.
However, with Regulus, the moment had been just perfect. The kind of sex they’d had was the kind you didn’t just forget about and pretend it never happened. It was the kind of sex that made you feel like you were the only two people in the world. The kind that made your head swim with nothing but thoughts of the other person. The kind that…you had when you were in love. And James was chasing that feeling.
Secretly though because he didn’t want to know what would happen to him if Sirius ever found out. That was the only thing he and Regulus agreed on, that this thing that happened between them stay a secret.
That’s not the only secret James was keeping because what Sirius and Regulus also didn’t know is that on the same morning Regulus shoved him out of his room, he’d come face to face with Remus Lupin himself. Remus Lupin, who was attempting to quietly exit Sirius’ room across the hall. “James.” he greeted.
“Remus.” They both took in each other’s heavily disheveled looks.
“I won’t tell if you don’t.” Remus said pointedly with his shoes in one hand.
“I value my life so your secret is safe with me.” James replied with his shirt half buttoned.
“Agreed.” And that was that. They rarely brought it up again. James didn’t know why Sirius didn’t tell him he’d slept with Remus that night but he had to keep it to himself because he couldn’t really explain why he was coming out of Regulus’ room and he wasn’t trying to have two Black brothers kill him.
“I’m sure Regulus doesn’t care about that kind of thing.” Peter was saying when James snapped back into the present.
“Why don’t we ask him?” James suggested standing dramatically. He was instantly yanked back into his seat by Sirius.
“Don’t you dare!”
There went his plan to get in his daily dose of Regulus.
At the dramatic movement, he saw the boy in question look over at him. God, he was beautiful. He was dressed particularly nice in a black button up and black trousers. He wore a green amulet necklace that dipped into his shirt and James wanted to be that necklace. He remembered that Regulus had an important presentation that afternoon. Mostly because he’d shouted it at him the day before when James was “bothering” him again.
As if Regulus couldn’t get more attractive, he was also an artist. One that created beautiful paintings of watercolor that honestly made James’ heart stop with how breathtaking they were. Regulus had an original work from his first year that he was going to present to a group of newbies in Professor Slughorn’s class. Sirius was the one who’d told him all about how if Regulus did well on this presentation, he might get a spot in the art show that a some fancy art professors would be at. That would help him get into the college of his dreams. It was very important to him, James knew as Regulus would never deign to speak to him about anything unless it was seriously important. The boy had also spent almost all of winter break with Fleamont Potter who was an art professor himself and therefore knew what they would be looking for. James had snuck a peak in the cracks of his bedroom door many times and saw how hard Regulus worked to make every little detail perfect in everything he did. The last thing James wanted was to mess that up for him. Which was why when Regulus had stood up from his table, following Evan Rosier who’d left in a hurry seconds before, James had to follow him.
A hand snapped around his arm as he stood once more. “Promise me you are not going to ask my brother if I can snog his best friend.” Sirius said digging his nails into James’ skin.
“Just snog?” Peter laughed but was ignored.
“I promise, Pads. I’m just going to wish him luck on his presentation.”
Sirius stared at him for a moment like he didn’t quite believe him before he let him go. “Tell him good luck from me too then.”
James beamed and tried not to run out the door.
***
“Tell my brother that if he has something to say, he can come over here and say it.” Was the first thing Regulus said when Remus Lupin sat down. Sirius had a severe staring problem and was often looking over at their table. It was annoying.
Remus laughed nervously like he had something to hide. Regulus often wondered what it was his best friend was keeping from him. Regulus wasn’t stupid. He knew something had happened over the summer, something that had Remus smiling more and walking with a spring in his step. However, he wouldn’t budge when Regulus consistently asked him about it. Remus continuously and frustratingly insisted Not yet and it was so infuriating. Whoever it was that put that smile on his face, Regulus wouldn’t have cared. In fact, he would’ve been happy that his friend was lucky in love. Though it seemed a lot of people seemed to think he cared about things more than he did. James Potter for example, who wouldn’t leave him alone no matter how many times he repeated that No, James. I do not want to date you.
That was the lie he repeated every day. Because in reality, no matter how much he tried to fight it over the years, he was pathetically in love with James Fleamont Potter. It wasn’t his fault really. James was the kind of guy you brought home to meet Mother. Not Regulus’ mother of course, he didn’t want James to die. Though he was considering killing him himself with how often he prompted him for “just one date”. Regulus refused to give in. Because it was futile. The summer they slept together was also the summer that he’d had enough of his own disgusting pitiful feelings and decided he’d get James Potter out of his system so he could live his life in complete bliss.
So when Lily Evans threw her boyfriend away like he was street trash and began dating Pandora (Regulus tried to ignore that as much as possible), he took his chance. He gave himself a little bit of liquid courage the night the two bumbling idiots insisted on throwing him a birthday party. Not enough to get completely smashed, just enough to have him stumbling a little right into the arms of James. He’d really only planned a kiss. Just one passionate kiss and Regulus could forget about him and move on. But he wasn’t anticipating James kissing him back. Nor was he anticipating James taking off his shirt and unbuttoning Regulus’ trousers. Nor was he anticipating James kissing his thighs, in between his thighs, his hips…
Then he was waking up in the morning with his brain chanting fuck fuck fuck. So he pretended it was whatever. It didn’t mean anything, right? No, of course not. James was still hung up on Lily so there was no way he’d immediately abandon those feelings for Regulus, right? Then James was suddenly asking him out and all Regulus wanted to do was jump into those muscular arms and chant yes yes yes whilst initiating round two.
But he couldn’t do that.
Because Regulus was someone with a brain and did not think with his heart nor his nether regions. He quickly realized in that moment that he really could’ve been anyone and James would’ve reacted that way. He really should’ve known better than to fall for someone who thought with their heart instead of their dick like most men Regulus knew. Though he supposed that was why he liked him in the first place.
Except Regulus knew he was just a warm body who was there when James was most vulnerable and he didn’t want to be just anyone to James Potter. He wanted to be craved by him, loved by him. He wanted James to really want him the way he’d wanted Lily Evans.
He wanted James to be terrified of losing him.
So that was why he’d shoved those gross feelings deep inside him and locked them in a cage forever as he shoved James into the hallway. He thought that’d been the end of it. James would quickly realize that he didn’t want Regulus like that. He’d simply had a lapse in judgment. Regulus had faith in him to understand what a one night stand meant.
That was quickly ruined when James asked him again after dinner when he caught him alone upstairs. Regulus had of course said no, once again reiterating it was a one time thing. Then James asked him yet again the next morning and the next day after that and every single day after including New Years until they ended up to today.
Every time it was a no. Even though Regulus so desperately wanted to say yes.
So now he was here, making eye contact with James who he just watched get up and be pulled down into his seat by his brother. At least James had enough tact to mutually agree not to tell Sirius about their…incident. Yes, that was the word he was going to use.
“Oh you know, Remus was saying, badly hiding his nerves. What the hell was he so nervous for? “It’s just Sirius being Sirius.”
Regulus resisted the urge to roll his eyes dramatically. “Whatever.” He reached across the table and grabbed Remus’ wrist to check his watch. “It’s almost time. How do I look?” He’d put a lot of effort into the outfit he picked. Slughorn was very serious about which candidates were worthy and he wanted to make sure everything was perfect down to the socks he was wearing. This was his one chance to show that he was worthy. Slughorn didn’t just choose anyone. Especially not to present their own final project from their own first year.
Regulus still remembered the presenter in his year. How they looked so professional and suave, like they knew what they were doing. Like they were going places. That person ended up getting a scholarship to one of Regulus’ top fives. He strived to get there someday. It was an honor just to be thought of as a possibility. It felt like things were finally going his way. Like he too would be great one day.
“Wonderful as always, darling.” Dorcas Meadowes answered.
“Yeah, Reggie.” Pandora Rosier agreed. “They’ll be blown away.”
Regulus hoped so. He remembered how hard he’d worked on that final project. How the words “show me what’s in your head” had sent a shock through him. How he tried to make every line perfect, trash can filling with crumpled bits of paper. How terrified he was that his mother would see and burn his work or make him burn it himself. How he showed it to Sirius with a worried look of insecurity and how his brother had ruffled his hair and said he had talent. Those words meant the world to him. He had been so scared to present it to Slughorn in fear of being shut down and his professor had only looked at the raw painting and said that he took a risk showing this to him and that was what made him a true artist.
Regulus really needed that spot. If he didn’t get it it would just solidify everything his parents had ever told him. That he wasn’t good enough and he never would be. “I hope so,” he tried to hide the nerves in his voice.
“He will.” Remus said, patting his arm and the girls agreed.
Barty and Evan weren’t paying attention. Regulus didn’t know what happened to them over winter break but they seemed different. They were quietly having a one sided conversation that he couldn’t hear. Evan looked annoyed and Barty was trying to whisper to him but the other was only poking at his food with his fork and not responding. Finally, Barty got fed up and yelled. “Dammit, Evan! Talk to me, please!”
Evan stood up, his chair loudly squeaking, and walked out of the cafeteria. Pandora looked like she wanted to go after her twin, but Regulus stood before she could. “I’ll get him. What the hell did you do, Crouch?” And left without waiting for Barty’s answer.
Regulus would like to think he was being a good friend. Really he was just being nosy. Something had definitely happened with them and he needed to get to the bottom of it. After Remus, Barty and Evan were the closest to him. He’d known they had crushes on each other since they were kids. Regulus had known them both for years due to their parents being friends and forcing them to hang out. He didn’t really take the time to get to know them until they ended up at the same boarding school, the same dorm house, and eventually the same dorm room. Barty was friend’s with his previous roommate, Dorcas Meadowes and was closer to Evan who had Pandora so they all ended up in their own friend group by chance with Regulus introducing Remus.
But Barty and Evan had always been the closest to each other even when Regulus had known them as children. He was pretty sure they were in love before they even knew what love was. At least they knew it. Regulus was getting fed up with his own emotions ruining his day every time James was in his vicinity.
He found Evan by the stairwell, scratching at a hole in the knee of his jeans, mind clearly somewhere else. Regulus sat next to him.“What did Barty do now?”
Evan didn’t look at him but continued to pick at his jeans. He sniffed and pulled his sweatshirt sleeves over his hands. Regulus was pretty sure it was one of Barty’s. “He kissed me.” Evan said quietly, looking down at his shoes.
Regulus looked at him in shock. Finally. “What? When?”
“Over break. On New Year’s.” Evan ran a hand through his hair.
That was surprising. Regulus really didn’t think Barty had it in him. He’d dated the unhinged boy back in fourth year but it was short-lived. Barty was obviously obsessed with Evan and Regulus had his stupid thing with James so they broke it off with no hard feelings. Still, he remembered the way Barty kissed. He kissed like you belonged to him. Like he was staking a claim on you and like you were the only person he had eyes for. Crazy how that was the case all things considered.
“Did you like it?” He asked carefully. Evan was known to be skittish when it came to things like that. He didn’t like the idea of sex and never talked about kissing. Though maybe that was because he’d never gotten the chance to kiss Barty .
Evan put his face in his hands and Regulus was sure he was trying to hide how red he was getting. “Yes.” Evan spit like the word was forbidden.
Regulus scooted closer. “That’s a good thing then, isn’t it?”
“No, it is not a good thing, Reg!” Evan burst. “He likes me.”
Regulus failed to see how that was a bad thing. Then again, he never really understood Barty and Evan’s dynamic. They would playfully fight and flirt with each other all the time but the second it got too real, Evan would back down. It was like a weird game of chicken only the two players were in love and wouldn’t admit it. Their dynamic was so complicated, it gave all their friends a headache trying to understand it.
“And that’s…bad?” Regulus replied in confusion.
Evan opened his mouth to probably explain why this was so wrong but Barty ran around the corner before he could. “Evan!” He shouted when he saw them.
Evan recoiled like Barty was dangerous. “Go away, Barty.”
Barty didn’t listen and stepped up towards them. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have kissed you and I regret it and it won’t happen again. So can we go back to being friends? Please?”
Evan looked like he wanted to kill Barty. He stood with clenched fists. “You regret it?” He asked angrily.
“Yes!”
Wrong answer.
“Fuck you, Crouch.” Evan snapped.
Regulus stood. This was not his fight and he was honestly starting to feel a little bit awkward watching. They both looked at him like they’d forgotten he was even there. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He mumbled and brushed past Barty.
As he walked off, he heard Barty say “What do you want from me, Rosier?” Regulus hoped Evan answered honestly.
He turned the corner and immediately wished he’d just stayed where he was even if it meant having to sit through Barty and Evan’s drama.
“Regulus!” James appeared. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
Regulus glared at him. Couldn’t he have just one day where he wasn’t being bombarded? “Well, you found me. Congratulations, Potter.”
James smiled in that way that made Regulus tragically weak in the knees. “You’ve called me James before.”
“The circumstances were different.”
James stepped a little closer to him. “Ah yes. I think I remember those circumstances.” Don’t. “I’m sure it was when I was kissing you right here.” He pressed a warm hand to the side of Regulus’ jaw.
Regulus inhaled and let out a frustrated sigh. “Was there something you wanted, Potter ?” He emphasized and lightly stepped out of the touch, trying to calm his racing heart.
“You. Always you.” James said swiftly and cooly like he did every single time. Regulus gave him no reaction. “But seriously, I just wanted to warn you.”
“Warn me? About what?” Regulus didn’t like the way James grinned his evil grin. That was trouble and not the kind he usually liked. This kind of trouble was the planning of a prank. The kind of trouble that took years off his life.
“You have your presentation at three, right?” James asked and breathed a sigh of relief when Regulus mhm’d in suspicious confirmation. His presentation was right before Snape’s. He really hated that he hadn’t been the only one Professor Slughorn had chosen. He had three candidates in mind and Regulus was thankfully one of them even if it meant he had competition. Luckily, he was confident enough in his abilities.
“What are you planning, Potter?” Regulus narrowed his eyes skeptically.
“Nothing you need to know about.” James said, winking at him. “Though maybe afterward we could go on that date?” The transition was smooth and irritatingly casual and Regulus wasn’t going to fall for it.
“How many times are you going to ask before you finally stop this little game of yours?” Regulus was tired at this point.
“When you finally say yes.” James grinned that grin that made butterflies flutter around his ribcage.
“Never gonna happen so you may as well give up now.”
James shrugged. “Only a few more months until I graduate. I’ve got time to win you over.”
God, it was the way he said it. Like he was so sure he’d get the yes someday. Regulus was determined not to give in to save himself the heartbreak. James was not going to “win him over” and that was that.
He rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Potter. I have to go now. My presentation is in seven minutes.”
“Alright, Reggie. Kiss for good luck?” James propositioned him.
“Hardy har.” Regulus deadpanned. “And don’t call me ‘Reggie’.”
“Worth a shot.” James shrugged again ignoring the last part as Regulus moved past him. Then he lightly grabbed Regulus by the arm. “Oh, try not to be in there too long, okay?”
Regulus felt a pang of irritation. He hated when those stupid pranks affected him. “Why…?” he groaned.
“Just trust me.” That was all James said and Regulus rolled his eyes, pulling his arm away. “Sirius says good luck by the way.” He heard James call after him.
Regulus tried not to smile at the statement as he walked off. He was really glad they’d mended their relationship after years of being a part. Growing up, he and Sirius never really hung out. Mostly because their mother didn’t want them to for fear that they’d turn against her. So she’d often separate them from each other. However, they tried their best not to let her come between them, often sneaking into each other’s rooms and slipping food under the door when one was being punished.
Then Sirius went off to boarding school and came back with stories of his new friends and Regulus felt jealous of the person who took his brother away from him. Then he met the infamous James Potter the next year and everything clicked into place. He looked incredibly different back then, a version of himself he tried to forget, but James made him feel safe with his soft smiles and warm words. No one can ever tell you who you are, he'd said and those words solidified it for him. Next thing he knew, he’d fallen flat on his face in love for the dumbass and the rest was history.
He walked briskly down the hall on his way to the art room, frantically checking his phone to ensure he’d make it on time. However, as he went past the library he smashed into someone, causing that person to drop their things. He checked his phone one last time and saw that he had time to apologize. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”
“Watch where you’re going, baby Black.” The person spit in a monotone voice. Regulus saw that the person he’d bumped into had been Severus Snape. Now, he didn’t have anything against the greasy-haired boy like James and Sirius did. He didn’t necessarily like him but they lived in the same dorm hall so he didn’t really care that he existed, much less cared enough to be mean to him. In fact, all he really knew about him was that he was a slimeball (not his word) and used to be friends with Lily Evans who Regulus didn’t care much for either.
“I am sorry, Severus. I’m just in a hurry.” Regulus crouched down, placing his bag on the ground next to him to assist the other with picking up his things. He had time to be nice he supposed.
“Big presentation. I heard. You’re on just before me.” Severus responded, stuffing his books that had fallen into his bag.
Oh, that explained Potter’s warning. Regulus didn’t know what affinity James had for Severus Snape but he really didn’t want to be involved in it. Pick your battles and all that. “Well, good luck.” He said, standing and swinging his bag over his shoulder.
“To you as well.” Severus replied with a sneer. “I do believe this is yours.” He handed Regulus his bag that was filled with his rolled-up artwork.
“Thanks.” Regulus said reluctantly and took it. “See you!” And he was off again.
He sped to the art classroom where Professor Slughorn was waiting for him with the door propped open. He made it just as Emmeline Vance was leaving. “Good luck, Regulus.” She smiled as she went past him. So Emmeline was the third candidate. He could work with that. Her art was amazing but Regulus was convinced his were more promising. He had more hard-hitting stuff while he knew that she mostly did landscapes. There was nothing wrong with that but Regulus felt like he had more of a chance with the vast difference he was bringing to the table.
Professor Slughorn looked up as he entered, with a polite knock on the door. “Ah, Mr. Black. Right on time as usual. Come on in.”
Regulus tried to calm his rapidly beating heart as he entered. He’d spent many a sleepless night preparing for this and staring at his painting to ensure it was as perfect as he meant it to be. He could do this. He had to do this. This was supposed to be the easy part.
“Regulus is one of my most promising students. Top of my class. I have asked him to present his most effective piece as this will assist you all in understanding what I am looking for in your final project. Mr. Black, you received a perfect score didn’t you?” He winked at him and Regulus tried not to beam at the praise.
He cleared his throat and took a breath to calm his racing heart as he had a lot of eyes on him at once. “I did indeed. And I brought it here to show you all.”
“Wonderful. Care to explain?” The professor asked as he stood and went to stand in front of his desk.
“So our lovely Professor has asked me to present you with what my final project was during my first year. Yours will have something to do with the parts of you that make you the most vulnerable.” Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at Slughorn who smiled at him encouragingly. He held himself tightly, thumbs wrinkling the fabric around his elbows. “I know that’s scary to do in front of your peers or anyone really but if you want to thrive in the art world, you have to let people see the worst parts of you. Because those parts are what will create your perfect masterpiece.” Regulus took a deep breath and crouched down to unzip his bag, hand poised to pull out the first piece and show it to everyone. “This was my final project. I hope it’ll inspire you to do your best.” He unrolled it and presented the front to the classroom.
His final project in his first year was of the house he and Sirius grew up in. Regulus had used most of his gray paint on it. It was of the entire house that he’d tried to paint from memory. All dark and gloomy but that was the point. He’d painted the windows to look cracked and drew the rain falling down dramatically from the sky. He’d painted the trees to look like they were swaying in the wind and the slightest hint of green light behind the bottom front window where his mother would abuse him. In the top left corner of the front of the house and if you looked closely you could see a little boy staring out the window. Slughorn had told him that you could truly feel his sadness through the painting and that was what made it a masterpiece.
Not that he was a narcissist or anything but Regulus expected oohs and aahs at his painting. Or at least some form of interest and intrigue. He definitely didn’t expect peels of laughter. He turned red with embarrassment. He hadn’t necessarily expected a group of eleven year olds to understand his work but he definitely wasn’t expecting to be made fun of for his depiction of his abusive home. He thought they’d have at least a little tact.
Professor Slughorn seemed to feel the same as he stepped forward. “Show some respect, class. What is so—“ he stopped when he looked at the painting in his student’s hand. “Mr. Black. Is this your idea of a joke?”
“What?” Regulus said in confusion and turned the paper around to see for himself. What he saw made his whole body cold with the realization. This was not his painting. What he saw was a terrible depiction of Professor Slughorn made in black paint that looked like it’d been done by a child. On the top of it said, I Am A Slimeball in red and gold paint. He clenched the painting in his fists. No no no . This couldn’t be happening. Regulus was shaking. He couldn’t tell if it was from nerves or anger. “This isn’t mine!” He tried to defend.
For some reason, his professor didn’t believe him, looking at him furiously and stating amongst the young laughter, “If you are not going to take this seriously, I am going to have to ask you to exit this classroom at once.”
“Wait. No. Give me another chance, I swear I didn’t do this!” He pleaded but it was no use. He felt embarrassed to be reprimanded in front of a bunch of first-years by his favorite professor.
“I think you’re done here, Mr. Black.” He said, pointing towards the door and Regulus had no choice but to listen. He crumpled the painting in his hands before grabbing his things and walking towards the door. “I expected better from you.” The professor said as he did. The words hurt his heart and he wanted nothing more than to beg for another chance even though he knew Slughorn wasn’t one for second chances.
Regulus opened the door with clenched fists and a heavy heart and as he did, there was a distant rumbling and a beeping sound as about twenty water balloons fell from a net suspended from the ceiling. They felll directly onto his head. Regulus felt like he was drowning as the water hit him all at once.
Try not to stay in there too long.
Professor Slughorn had made it out of the crossfire and remained dry but Regulus was completely soaked to the bone. Some of the first years in the front row shook off some of the water that had hit the tips of their shoes while the ones in the back continued to laugh at him. For the second time, he didn’t know whether he was shaking from anger or something else as the water was extremely cold.
“Regulus—“ The professor started but he put up a hand to silence him.
“I am alright.” he said slowly. “My apologies for making a mockery of your generous opportunity. If you will excuse me.” Regulus stiffly walked out of the classroom.
On his way out, he only had one thing on his mind:
He was going to kill James Potter.