fools in da kitchen
James walked down the street to Regulus’ restaurant to check how food prep was going for Dream Man’s official debut tonight, per Dorcas’ instructions. He doubted that Regulus needed to be checked on, but Dorcas had kept his business afloat so far, so why question her now? Also James would never pass up an opportunity to visit Regulus.
To be honest he has a little crush on the man. Not that anyone has noticed. He’s pretty good at keeping it under wraps. Which is extremely hard because Regulus is just always around and always so perfect. Especially when he’s wearing his chef coat with the sleeves rolled to reveal his forearms, which are even more sinful than Regulus’ perfectly sculpted hands and lanky fingers. God he should’ve been a pianist with those fingers. And that’s not even the most gruesomely delicious part of Regulus’ appearance. Always a stickler for rules, reasonably so as his restaurant is extremely well renowned, Regulus always wears his chef hat. But when he finally takes it off after work, or to chat, or for a smoke break, his black curls are always effortlessly toussled in a way that Regulus would never allow if he could see his own reflection. Speaking of seeing, Regulus’ eyes are the most enchanting shade of stormy blue. James wishes he were a ship so he could get lost at sea in the reckless storm of Regulus’ eyes–
Fuck. James walked right by the restaurant. He swiveled on his heels and walked a few paces back to the restaurant and stepped inside, the little bell over the door announcing his presence. James winced. He knew what was going to happen next. Barty looked up from his phone that he was undoubtedly playing Candy Crush on while sitting at a booth he was undoubtedly not supposed to be at while clocked in and a wild smile flashed across his face before screaming, “OI REGULUS! YOUR STALKER IS HERE!” The few customers that decided to brunch there turned around startled. James shot them an awkward smile before scolding Barty with a cold look over the rim of his glasses.
“Oh yay! I love when James visits!” James heard Pandora exclaim from the kitchen. Evan walked out from behind the host counter and hoisted Barty up to his feet by his dress shirt collar and said to him through a false smile,
“Go check on the customers or so help me you’re sleeping outside.”
“Easy, man,” Barty pouted, “this is my only uniform,” he complained while trying to straighten his collar. Evan looked at him incredulously.
“You work six days a week and I know for a fact you don’t do laundry every day.” In response, Barty shrugged and James could’ve swore he saw Evan gag. Swiftly, Evan grabbed Barty by the shoulders, spun him around, and gave him a harsh shove, sending him stumbling towards the customers. Evan turned to James and beckoned him to follow him back into the kitchen. In the back, Regulus was hunched over the counter scribbling something down, Pandora was washing a few dishes, and a few other staff members were exiting out the back after being waved off onto their break by Evan. James made his way over to Regulus and dipped his head down.
“Whatcha working on Reggie?” Regulus paused mid-scrawl to glare at James. “-ulus?” James added, lips pressed in fear. Regulus paused for a second before seemingly accepting the amendment and going back to his writing.
“The menu. For tonight. Obviously.” Regulus snapped. Pandora dried her hands and made her way over to where James and Regulus were. She started rubbing circles on Regulus’ back and looked at James sympathetically.
“He’s just a bit stressed,” she assured him. Regulus bolted upright without warning and read out the menu he had apparently just finished, switching to French for the last few items. James looked at him with a expression halfway between worry and confusion. Regulus rolled his eyes.
“I forgot the translation. You’re fine. It’ll taste phenomenal as always, because may I remind you I am a classy head chef not some caterer,” Regulus rambled. “The menu is okay, though?” Before James could answer Regulus replied to his own question, “Of course it’s okay. It’s beyond okay.” He paused, then looked at James, for the first time actually seeming to realize he was there. “Why are you here?” he said with furrowed brows. James shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet.
“Just checking to see how everything’s chugging along.” He blew out a breath. Regulus eye twitched.
“You really had to check that?” Regulus was clearly annoyed.
“Dorcas told me to,” James quickly interjected. Regulus seemed to diffuse a little bit. A little. Barty and Evan walked back into the kitchen together arguing about one thing or another.
“... I’m genuinely going to hit you,” Evan said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Oh please do,” Barty quipped back with a cheeky smile. Evan smacked him on the back of the head and Barty retorted by slapping Evan on the ass. Evan whipped around to face Barty and scolded him, with a poorly suppressed smile playing on his lips.
“Go wash plates!” Evan demanded. Barty put his hands up in defeat and skulked over to the sink, dragging his feet dramatically. Evan let out and exasperated sigh and walked over to join James, Regulus, and Pandora. Regulus pointedly ignored the interaction and cleared his throat.
“Well, I should get to work cooking all the food now.” Regulus started towards the pantry, but Pandora placed a hand on his chest to stop him.
“Love, you should take a break. You’re extremely overwhelmed I can tell,” Pandora reasoned.
“What? No,” Regulus responded, bewildered. “There’s so much to prepare and do. I have to start right now.” Regulus tried to push past Pandora, but Evan caught him by his shoulder and pulled him back.
“Nuh uh. Nope,” Evan grabbed Regulus’ face and examined him before nodding as if he had come to a conclusion. “You have crazy eyes again. If you try to cook, you’ll burn down the kitchen." Regulus scoffed and looked to Pandora for support, but she just nodded her head in agreement with Evan. He started to usher Regulus towards the door, “C’mon take lunch.”
“But it’s only 11:40,” Regulus protested.
“I know, I know,” Evan brushed him off while still leading him out, “Off you pop. There you go. Bye Regulus.” James checked his watch. He really should go touch base with Sirius about now. But he had to ask something first.
“Do you guys actually think I’m stalker-y?” He questioned them with a slight pout.
“Yes,” Barty said without hesitation, pausing his dish washing.
Pandora hummed nuetrally.
Evan gave a small smile with knowing eyes and offered a slight shake of his head. James offered a grateful expression in return.
“Alright well I’m off I suppose,” James muttered as he made his way to the front doors of the kitchen leading back into the restaurant. “Thanks for catering! Tell Regulus that too please.” He swung open the door. “Bye Evan! Bye Pandora!”
“Hey, what about me!” Barty yelped. James was mostly out the door, but called over his shoulder,
“Fuck you, Barty!” James could hear Barty burst out laughing back in the kitchen and brag to the others that he was definitely James’ favorite.
James stepped back out onto the street. He took a second to appreciate how the air was finally starting to warm up before walking back to the bus station, a slight bounce in his step. The debut was set up to go swimmingly, as per usual. Dorcas had taken care of basically everything by now (minus the food which James had graciously offered to take off her plate). All that was left to do was to check on the artist, which James was on his way to do now. It was all planned and perfected. As far as James could see, there should be no surprises.
But then again, James needed glasses.