the Little Aconite Flower

Just when her eyelids had fluttered shut for a minute of sleep, an alarm stirred the dorm room’s occupants awake. Catallena felt like a zombie trying to free herself from the twisted blankets, meanwhile, the others bounced around as if they’d had at least two cups of caffeinated tea each. They ran around the room pulling on their skirts, jumpers and robes and they were already dashing into the common room when Catallena had just managed to stumble to her feet.

Catallena wandered around the room, trying to slap herself awake and looking at the new decorations the other girls had put up onto shelves and walls last evening. Lisa Turpin –the pigtailed brunette with a freckled face– had hung pictures of her family over her bed. Catallena stood glued to her spot and spent a long time watching as the moving family members blew out candles on a birthday cake, danced around in a backyard and ran after a jolly dog. A pinch in her chest made the girl continue looking around.

In Harper Knut’s corner of the room there were at least a dozen posters of people on brooms. Most of the banners were sky blue with the name Appleby Arrows written in a bold silver font. The animated people flew in loops and waved clubs above their heads, their hair tousled in the wind. It wasn’t at all hard to imagine Harper in one of these posters: her tall frame and loud laugh gave off the impression of someone who’s confident and a great teamplayer. To imagine Catallena on one of these brooms, however, proved more difficult.

Lastly, long-haired Padma Patil’s bed was overflowing with stuffed animals. Catallena had never seen so many toys before. What she had seen the night before was Padma hugging the stuffed animals and quietly crying, not that she’d ever tell anyone. Padma was the last one of the three to fall asleep, overcome with sadness, hiding her face and muffling her cries. Perhaps it was homesickness? Catallena could never comprehend what homesickness felt like, afterall. 

A cat purred somewhere in the middle of the plushies. Its brown striped tail swished in the air though it was otherwise concealed. Catallena was reminded of her own luggage. She opened her trunk with a click and pulled out Princess Kisa. She murmured an apology for having enclosed the cat in such a confined space and gently smoothed down the slightly ruffled grey fur. Princess Kisa was awarded a place on the windowsill right by Catallena’s bed. The windowsill was big enough for the rubber ducks and tea pots as well.

Catallena brushed and pleated her impossibly long hair with great practice and dressed in her school uniform. The tie ended up the same way as before: a loose bow hung around the girl’s neck. It looked quite pretty this way, the girl declared. She definitely didn’t wear it this way just because she still didn’t know how to tie a tie the normal way.

Dragging her feet because of the nerves that had once again settled in her stomach the minute she had stepped into the Great Hall yesterday evening, the young witch finally ascended the stairs into the common room. In the early morning light, the space looked bigger. Green plants made it look lush and alive. 

Upon her entry, she noticed that the group of first years was still waiting for the Head of House to arrive at the common room. Even after all her stalling.

Then, arrive he did – in a fit of apologies and pants. “Sorry for being late! My apologies! Got caught up for a moment there. Some dunderheads are already up to trouble in the halls. Those Weasley twins! One can only hope that the new addition isn’t as troublesome,” he rambled out of breath. He was shorter than the kids and wearing an old-timey outfit that matched his middle part and moustache. 

“Good morning, professor!” and “Nice meeting you, professor Flitwick!” quipped the children. “Well good morning to you all, too!” he laughed funnily.

He made rounds walking from one first year to the other, shaking hands and handing out slips of paper. In between he would say things like “I knew your mother. Great witch!” or “That’s an unfamiliar last name you’ve got. Nice meeting you!” When everyone else had left the room to go down to the Great Hall for breakfast, he finally shook Catallena’s cold hand. 

“And here you are – our Hatstall!” a wide grin covered his face. “I checked the library yesterday evening for reports on such long Hatstalls and found nothing of the sort. The longest one anyone seems to recall was about eight minutes long. Of course, I did have a very interesting conversation with Professor McGonagall after she returned from your trip to Ollivanders. After hearing about that ordeal, I did secretly wish that you would be sorted into Ravenclaw, if I’m being honest. Never did I, however, expect it to happen in such a fashion. I would love to pick your brain about the sorting ceremony sometime later. Now, here’s your timetable. Go enjoy your breakfast! You will then be escorted with the other first years to your first class by prefects Hilliard and Clearwater.”

The man was whisked away by some older student and Catallena went on her way, now a bit dazed. How was he able to talk so fast? The girl felt herself grow short of breath even though she herself hadn’t butted in with even one word of her own. She had to stop for a break in front of every tall window in the astrology tower so she wouldn’t die from overworking her winded lungs and crashing down the stairs. It might also have had something to do with how pretty the green landscape looked under the rising sun. 

The view had the girl under a spell that pulled her towards the clear morning air. Before she knew it, she had managed to find her way into a courtyard and then to an open field. Her knees seemed to bend on their own and they met the soft ground. Her long socks would later turn permanently darkened at the knees from such consistent activities. Catallena lay there in the grass on her back, not caring about staining her uniform with the morning dew. 

The tall grass wasn’t crunchy and frosted over here. A breeze swept through the blades of grass in a whisper and created water-like waves that rolled over hills. The wind danced in her hair that lay haphazardly in the foliage and tickled her skin. It wasn’t quiet here like home was. It wasn’t unpleasantly cold or eerily still either. 

Catallena was ecstatic to see clouds. The sun smiled contagiously brightly and little black silhouettes of birds flew overhead against the soft blue sky. A smile had finally graced her own lips and she closed her tired eyes to capture the feeling in her most prized memories. Here she could die happy, she thought.

Her happiness was short-lived. 

“HEY! You there! Are you alright?” Catallena lifted her hand with a thumbs-up, still not wanting to open her eyes, hoping that the gesture was enough to turn whoever it was away. Unluckily, the person calling out to her approached and came to a stop next to the girl’s laying form. 

“A- are you sure? I looked out the window and saw you just collapse here. Should I get Madam Pomfrey?” Catallena didn’t know who this Madam Pomfrey was but the suggestion felt like a threat. She opened her eyes and squinted at the sunlight to find a boy bent at the waist looking down at her. 

“She seems fine, Fred. Enjoying the sun, are we?” a teasing voice of someone else answered. Catallena thought that she was seeing in doubles when another identical boy leaned over her and cast a shadow to shield her eyes from the light. 

“Well… it is a rather nice morning, don’t you think, George?” Fred relented, drawing a deep breath of summer air.

The two boys –twins, it seemed– didn’t seem too disturbed when she didn’t answer them. Sharing a look between themselves and shrugging their shoulders they threw down their own bookbags and all but fell to the ground themselves, one on each side of the girl.

It was silent for a bit but it didn’t last: “That one looks suspiciously like Angelina Johnson eating a ham sandwich,” said Fred out of the blue and Catallena reopened her eyes to find him pointing at a cloud overhead. His brother burst out laughing and Fred joined in. The girl between them inspected the cloud very closely, as if to see whether she agreed with the observation, which made the boys lose their minds further. Catallena couldn’t help the slight quirk of her lips even though she didn’t really know who this Johnson person actually was or what was so funny about someone eating a ham sandwich. The twins’ laughs were so hearty and bright – a perfect pairing with the weather.

After they had pointed at other clouds and named them in a similar ridiculous manner only to laugh some more, George said that a cloud looked like Fred when he sleeps with his mouth open, which prompted a playful fight during which they rolled around in the soft field. Once they had roughed each other up enough, they finally calmed down and wiped their tears of laughter. 

“Ey, breakfast is probably almost over. If we go now we’ll still make it before classes start,” one of them said. The witch had difficulty telling them apart now after their fight. Their hair stuck out at odd angles and their once freckled faces were smudged with dirt.

“Right you are! Come on, Ravenclaw, you need to have some breakfast too. What are you, by the way? A first year?”

The girl nodded while she searched for her book bag that she had dropped somewhere in her haste of coming outside. 

“A baby! First day and you’re catatonic in the field instead of going to breakfast like the others? I like you already, rule breaker.” The tall boys linked their arms with hers and basically dragged her by the armpits inside the castle. Her feet floated off the ground half the time and she found it entertaining to kick them back and forth in the air. The boys found it fun too and flung her around like that until they reached the Great Hall. 

She was sent to her house’s table with a pat on the back and a “We’ll be seeing you. Don’t run off like that on the first day, though. Filch has it in for newcomers. Wait a few days at the very least.” With a wink, Fred and George sauntered over to their red table where they were greeted by their older friends who didn’t seem at all weirded out by their dishevelled looks. 

Catallena, however, didn’t get welcomed at her own table. Nobody seemed to acknowledge her here. She sat down where there was quite a lot of room because many of the diligent Ravenclaws had already gone to their classes early. The first years were deep in a conversation about their timetables and flying classes while making it a point to turn away from the blue haired one. The little witch dug her own slip of paper from her own pocket and took a good look at it for the first time.

The first class she would be attending was Herbology. The first school day consisted also of Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Flying. Catallena didn’t have time to dwell on it as her little trip outside had cost her most of breakfast. She picked at some dry cereal while gazing at the clouds that swept over them in the magical ceiling and pocketed an apple to then join the collected first years who were led by the prefects to their Herbology class.

Her book bag felt heavier the longer she followed the group of Ravenclaws. They seemed already close to each other with their arms around each others’ shoulders and greeting some darling cat on the path to the greenhouses. Catallena pet the kitty as well, but just as she did so everyone else left to go on their way. Her shoes slapped the stone slabs with her running steps to catch up.

The greenhouses were gorgeous. Everything was so green. It smelled of dirt and blooming flowers. Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs all took their own places at a long table filled with pots and other equipment. A woman startled them by appearing suddenly at the head of the table. She was wearing a green dress, which had camouflaged her near perfectly. Only her pink face and grey hair stood out.

“Welcome, dear first years! Such sweet faces we have here around this table, ready to learn about the wonders of Herbology. Today we shall get familiar with the basics – Wouldn’t want you to get bit, poisoned or killed by anything just yet, right? I kid, I kid! Anyway – best get started now. Everyone, pick up a pot.”

Professor Sprout turned out to be a nice enough teacher. She was sweet, yet slightly stern when it mattered. Something told Catallena that the woman had a preference for the yellow-robed Hufflepuffs. Maybe it was the way she called the students ‘her little cubs’ and gave them some extra House points. 

The class went nicely and Catallena breathed out a huff of relief when she walked out of the greenhouse where no one had been bitten, poisoned or killed today. She didn’t question for a moment that such things were possible in the field of Herbology, having flipped through One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi in her wait at home.

The transfiguration classroom smelled strongly of toothpaste – apparently thanks to the previous class’ lesson of turning broccoli into just that. The room was big and well lit by open windows. Clearly, the teacher –familiar Professor McGonagall– intended to enjoy the warm weather while it was still possible. Everyone was in a good mood as they chattered and cautiously made friends with the esteemed Slytherins. 

Catallena sat at the very back of the classroom when everyone else paired up and filled their tables starting from the front. There were an even number of students, though. A girl with dirty blonde hair in a half-up hairstyle and green Slytherin robes threw herself down into the seat next to Catallena. While Professor McGonagall started the class, a few other Slytherin girls mouthed their ‘sorries’ to the blonde one who had to accept the most awful fate of having to sit next to a lowly Ravenclaw instead of her friends because of the seating arrangements. 

They were all told to dig out their wands and books called A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration. The students’ excited clambering to get their equipment was the only noise in the room since the professor’s commanding presence didn’t allow them to chat with their friends. It refrained the Slytherin girls from whispering any more unnecessary comments about Catallena’s appearance amongst themselves. Instead, they only rolled their eyes and covered their smiling mouths when their eyes met. Catallena didn’t know what exactly it was that made her so easy to make fun of.

“We’ll spend a good few lessons perfecting the basics. I want you all to have a good starting point for future improvement. Transfiguration can be dangerous if one doesn’t know what it is they’re doing. We begin on page five.” 

They read their theory books and were rewarded by a show at the end of the class. Professor McGonagall seemed satisfied with everyone’s work and decided that a reward was due. She transfigured a desk into a hog, a quill into a moth, ink into water, her golden pocket watch into a silver one and most astonishingly she transformed herself into a cat. The students clapped and exclaimed their ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s after each spell. 

Catallena was most impressed about the self-transformation. As the students strolled out of the classroom, she kept thinking about how lovely being a cat might be. She could spend all her days sunbathing in the field as a cat and no-one would bat an eye. Maybe in the future she would learn how to transform herself like that. She patted the professor’s furry and aghast head between her pointy ears on her way out of the classroom. 

Lunch was hectic. Catallena entered the room and promptly turned around to find somewhere more quiet and secluded. The blonde Slytherin girl whose name was Daphne Greengrass walked into Catallena with her click and feigned innocence when she shouldered the shorter girl on her way into the hall. Catallena –not knowing any better– apologised too and believed that the push was indeed just an accident.

The witch found a bench in the shade of a willow tree in one of the courtyards of the castle. She sat there, rubbed her shoulder and ate her apple while flicking through her transfiguration book for self-transformation tricks. She unfortunately found none and vowed that she would find the correct book in the castle somewhere. There had to be a library in this building. 

There wasn’t much that couldn’t be found at Hogwarts, imagined Catallena.

She would’ve begun looking for a library right then had lunch not ended so soon. She had a Defence Against the Dark Arts class with Gryffindors –the red ones. 

The class was only slightly disappointing. The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection was a very interesting read, but the teacher –Professor Quirrell– turned out to be… less… enthusiastic about the dark forces. He kept babbling about vampires, which would have been fine had the classroom not also smelled very strongly of garlic. 

The professor seemed very scared of even the harmless students, flinching at the slightest noise or sudden movement.

At the end of the class, Catallena packed her bag and trailed the first years in their trek to a nearby field for their first flying lesson. 

Everyone else was rather happy to be there. Students in blue, red, green and yellow uniforms all skipped along the way and chattered excitedly to their peers. They didn’t seem very worried about the impending doom that was flying, thought Catallena. Although she didn’t show it, she felt sick to her stomach even thinking about what was to come.

They were quickly greeted by an admittedly beautiful view of a green quidditch pitch surrounded by tall multicoloured pillars and stands. Many gasped and even Catallena admired the sight even though her heart was currently at the very bottom of her stomach, keeping company to the apple she had had moments before. 

Some students broke off into a run, making bets on who could get to the pitch first and claim the best broom. Catallena hurried along too as the thought of a bad broom was very unappealing. 

On the ground in the middle of the pitch were dozens of old brooms for the children. A woman with spiky grey hair and olw-like yellow eyes in flying gear made each of them pick a broom and form into two rows facing each other.

“Hurry up! We don’t have all day!”

Catallena’s broom was splintery and the twigs at its end jutted out in different directions as if the poor broom had been used to sweep all the floors of the castle. The woman who handed the girl the broom grimaced and muttered something about needing to invest in some new brooms. Catallena was hardly reassured.

Even still, she had to pick a spot between a loud Hufflepuff boy and a Gryffindor that was trying to trade his broom for someone else’s. They all set their brooms down on the ground as instructed before the woman gave a brief speech:

“The name is Rolanda Hooch. That’s Madam Hooch to you. 

Now, we don’t have a lot of time, so listen up closely: All there really is to flying is confidence, caution and a lot of practice. We’ll start by standing right next to our brooms, extending our arms over them and saying –very decisively and clearly– ‘UP!’ The broom will fly into your open hand and then you’ll be ready to mount. We’ll wait and make sure that everyone succeeds in this first simple task before moving onto anything else. Chop chop, then.”

Catallena took a few moments to see how the others followed the instructions before moving herself. A chorus of voices yelled ‘UP!’ and she felt like covering her sensitive ears and running away. She only managed to bring her hands to her ears and stare as a student opposite her –the one who was called Harry yesterday in the stairwell where they were waiting for the sorting ceremony to begin– caught his broom in the air with a triumphant smile. 

The one who was called Ron was standing next to Harry and Catallena watched him get knocked in the teeth by his rogue broom handle. There were some giggles but most of the voices were growing more irritated because of the misbehaving brooms, which had everyone else’s attention on their own tasks.

Catallena braved a hand over the broom handle of her own frayed broom that lay unmoving on the ground. The first ‘up’ she uttered came more like a whisper and a request than a decisive demand. To her surprise, the broom jumped up toward her hand and then teasingly dropped back to its previous spot. 

She straightened her fingers some more and pressed her voice a bit so that the silly broom would hear. It didn’t take too many tries until the rough handle was grasped softly in her hand. It was as if the broom could sense the panic in the girl and only lingered on the ground as long as it took for her to grow a bit more confident. Silly broom.

Catallena pet the broom handle and murmured a soft “Thank you, broom.” She ended up with only a few splinters in her fingertips, which she found acceptable. At least the thing seemed to be on her side.

When everyone had managed to command their brooms or bend down to pick them off the ground while Madam Hooch wasn’t looking, the teacher ordered everyone to mount their brooms. 

Now we really look like witches, thought Catallena, picturing those muggle fairytale books with witches sitting on their flying brooms with their pretty black cats, pointy hats and hooked noses. She sat on the broom like the others and waited for more instructions. Her heart was still hammering wildly, but her broom’s friendly personality eased her some.

“Next, I want you to push off the ground on my command, tilt the broomstick up, hover in the air for a few seconds and then tilt it back toward the ground where you will land on both stable feet. Got it? 

On my mark! Three, two, o- MISTER LONGBOTTOM! Where do you think you are going!? Get back down this instant, boy!”

Neville had suddenly lifted off before Madam Hooch could blow her whistle. His feet swung in the air as he shrieked in panic and called out for help. Madam Hooch tried to get him back onto the ground with proper instructions on how to land, but to no avail. Before she could pull out her wand, the boy’s broom took off back towards the castle, taking erratic twists and turns here and there along the way.

The children and the befuddled teacher ran after him just in time to witness his broom flinging him off at the castle wall where the boy got stuck on a hook by the back of his robes. Madam Hooch managed to yell out a charm that slowed down Neville’s fall when his robes ripped from the weight, making him crash just a bit softer onto the ground below. 

A crowd gathered around the sobbing boy, and Madam Hooch pushed through while cursing the old broom that was now flying in loops above their heads before disappearing into the forbidden forest in the distance. 

The teacher almost carried the sniffling boy who was clutching his left hand. She tutted at him, softly reprimanding him for not listening to her and promising that it would all be okay. Catallena felt quite bad seeing Neville’s tearful face and limp hand. 

“I’m taking Mister Longbottom to the infirmary. Everyone is to wait for my return on the ground. If I hear any of you have broken that rule while I’m absent, you will be flown out of the school before you can say ‘quidditch’.”

The pair walked slowly into the school and the first years were left onto the field right next to the tall walls of the castle, talking in disbelief amongst themselves.

Catallena had set her broom onto the ground as soon as Madam Hooch disappeared. She hoped class would be over when the teacher returned. 

A loud voice cut through all the other voices. “Give that back! It’s not yours.” It was Harry.

“Or what? You’ll fight me? Hah, I think I’ll leave it somewhere Longbottom can get it later. You know, once he actually learns to fly and stops being such a wuss.” Draco Malfoy was juggling with a glass ball as he mounted his broom. Other Slytherins cheered their housemate on as he hopped off the ground and took off into the air. 

Harry’s face was sour and his friends –Ron and Hermione– tried to stop him from following Malfoy. They were unsuccessful. Harry was soon soaring through the air, catching up to Malfoy. “You don’t even know how to f-” the bossy girl’s voice trailed off when Harry did indeed seem to know how to fly. 

Catallena’s mouth was slightly open as she watched from further away as the two boys flashed in the air like it was nothing. She didn’t know much, but they seemed very good. Harry was clearly a natural. He was hot on Malfoy’s tail and Malfoy was no longer so overly confident.

Slytherins cheered on as Malfoy threw the glass orb toward the castle’s stone wall. Ron cheered Harry on even louder. People covered their heads, expecting the glass to shatter against the wall and rain down on them. However, before that could happen Harry dove for the orb and caught it in his hand right before it hit a window.

The whole class (except for the Slytherins) erupted into cheering, laughter and applause. They clapped Harry on his back and congratulated him, but the commotion died out in the blink of an eye when Professor McGonagall came running, her robes and skirts billowing behind her. 

“Harry Potter! Follow me this instant,” she left no room for protests. Harry’s face fell and he followed the woman into the castle with slumped shoulders. Catallena hoped he wouldn’t be in too much trouble. She didn’t much care for the way the Slytherins were calling out after him with taunting words. 

One of the Slytherins, Daphne, met Catallena’s eyes and came bounding towards her. 

“Why the long face, huh? Are you their friend?” she sneered and it left Catallena confused. She didn’t think she was their friend. She hadn’t even talked to anyone yet. Catallena backed away, trying to escape the scary girl. 

“Would you rather it were you hanging from the wall, then?” This time it was quite clear to Catallena that it wasn’t a friendly question. 

“I’m sure Draco would gladly take you up there and leave you hanging by the braids.” She ran a hand along one of Catallena’s plaits as if she were admiring it. Her tone changed to an indiscernible one. It was sweet like her smile but nothing about her words matched it.  

“I don’t think there’s anyone who would fly after you to save you, though…” she whispered closer to Catallena’s ear. The shorter witch felt her heart pounding in her chest and she tried to back away more, but there were more Slytherins around. Daphne’s friends stood there, watching out for Daphne’s next move. Nobody else seemed to pay them any mind.

“It took awfully long for the hat to sort you into a house. I heard Lisa Turpin talking to Pansy over lunch about it. Aren’t I right, Pansy?” A girl with short brown hair nodded and smiled at them. 

“What did she say again?” Daphne feigned ignorance.

“Oh she just told me what she and her Ravenclaw friends had been talking about. Or rather, what the whole school has been talking about. It seems as though Harry Potter isn’t the only one who’s famous,” Pansy laughed.

“That’s right! And what was it that they’ve been saying about Catallena Nocturne?” prompted Daphne, not letting up the smile. She was now twirling her wand dangerously close to Catallena’s face.

“Just that she doesn’t actually belong in Ravenclaw. She isn’t actually smart or anything. Nocturne isn’t good enough for any of the houses and that’s why the sorting took so long. She doesn’t have enough magic in her to be one of us.” 

“Yeah. So even though Longbottom is a loser, he’s at least got housemates who claim him and protect him. What have you got?” Daphne questioned and a few others snickered.

Catallena was frozen. She didn’t dare move in fear of getting hurt by someone. Their words stung, oddly enough. 

Catallena had never had anyone like that. Anyone who would claim her or protect her when she needed it. It didn’t usually bother her; She managed well enough on her own. 

However, here on this field –surrounded and threatened– she did wish she could belong somewhere for once in her life. Hogwarts was supposed to come with a family, but if no family came, Catallena would once again get through it on her own.

A shove to her side had Catallena reaching her hand slowly to rest on her wand holster, but Madam Hooch rounded the corner before anything else could happen.

“Class dismissed. We’ll pick up where we left off next week. Sorry, can't be helped.”

With a huff, the girls picked up their things and walked off into the castle. School was over for the day.

Catallena didn’t go for dinner that evening. She climbed her way up the astrology tower, changed into her sleeping gown, did her homework and then rested her cheek at Princess Kisa’s feet. She watched the sun set and the sky turn a deep navy colour dotted with silver stars, only dozing off every once in a while.

Others went to bed but she stayed unmoving in her spot, petting the cat’s fur and listening to the soft snores of everyone else. Lisa Turpin whined in her sleep and Catallena decided she would rather be somewhere else. 

The young witch swung her feet off her bed and padded toward the dorm room’s closed door.