Save Your Tears

James Potter was angry.

And, anyone with good judgment and who was observant enough would know that this was very strange. James Potter rarely got angry.

But everyone in the castle knew that something had happened to the marauders. 

Remus wasn't as close to Sirius as before. Sirius wasn't talking to James anymore. And Peter? He was still the same, The only detail was that he was now the only Marauder who seemed to get along with Sirius.

Sirius wouldn't let any of the other two get close to him, becoming like a dog whenever James or Remus wanted to be near him.

Worst? Sirius seems to carry on with his life peacefully.

Black has no right to be happy. 

Black has no right to laugh.

Black has no right to have friends.

It was all James could think about.

And yet, there he was, Sirius Orion Black, at the Slytherin table, laughing at something Barty had said.

He seemed so happy.

So complete.

As if he hadn't ruined my life. James thought

He definitely wouldn't let this go on like this, he couldn't. 

And, if one thing is true about James Fleamont Potter, it is that he could be stubborn until he got what he wanted.

— ★ —

Sirius was leaving his Potions class when he felt someone pull him by the arm.

James.

"Uh... Can I help you?"

"I want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry, James. I'm busy. I have to meet with Evan—"

"No, Black. You are going to talk to me now."

"... Well, I guess I'll give Evan some time to continue making out with Barty. But, if you want to talk to me so much, you better go to the astronomy tower." 

Sirius didn't even wait for James to nod, he simply turned around and headed towards said tower. 

James followed him.

"Well, what did you want to talk about?" 

Now, Sirius was an idiot. He thought maybe James was there to apologize and tell him how much he misses him and if they're still friends. 

That's the problem with the family Black. They think it's all about it. Sirius had learned his lesson, well, half-heartedly.

"... How dare you?" James barely whispered.

"Sorry?"

"How the hell dare you, Black, to be happy?!"

"Uh... I'm not understanding."

"You ruined Moony's life. You ruined my life and almost Peter's. And you just walk around the castle smiling?! You should be begging for forgiveness! But no, instead, like the coward you are, you went hiding with the Slytherins!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?! You have no right to talk to me like that!"

"Oh I have a lot of rights. I am an heir. What are you? Absolutely nothing. You are nothing."

"..."

"That's right, Black. All you had was your fortune but wow, you don't have it anymore, right? You are nothing. Nothing but a pretty face and—"

Before James could say anything else, he felt himself being hit, making him fall.

"Shut. the. fuck. up." Sirius said.

And for the first time in so long, James could see Sirius. 

Sirius was now thin and had dark circles under his eyes, although he tried to cover it with foundation, that didn't work. 

He also had several cuts on his arms. And worst of all, his eyes didn't shine as bright as they should. 

Yes, you could see Sirius happy, but that was just the perfect mask he had perfected so much. Sirius had pain in his eyes. 

At this point, they were already full of tears.

"How can you tell me things like that?! I know I screwed up and I'm not looking for forgiveness, it's okay for them to be mad at me! But it's also not an excuse for me to spend the rest of my life being miserable and sad. I'm not some damn puppy who's always going to be begging for scraps. I'm making my life over again because if you hadn't noticed, I lost a lot of things too."

"You?! Did you lose things?! Name them!"

"I lost Moony's love and trust. I lost you. I lost what she had most. I lost my dignity. My desire to live, to breathe. I lost the right to call you best friend. I lost so many years of trust. I lost my bedroom, my home. I lost those I thought were my family..."

"Oh, poor boy, do you want a hug? Wake up, Sirius! That doesn't give you an excuse to play the victim! You're just another Black! Same as your family."

Oh.

No.

He didn't do it.

James knew that for Sirius, being compared to his family was worse than the crucio curse.

"...Sirius, i'm—"

"No. Don't you dare, Potter." 

Sirius began to back away trembling, looking at James with fear and disgust.

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay? That crossed the limits. You are not the same as them because you are not part of that family. You are part of mine. You are my brother—"

"Shut the fuck up." Sirius said. "You're not my brother."

"But... Padfoot..."

"My brother is Regulus Arcturus Black!" Sirius screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. "He is the only person who has truly cared about me even after everything. He is my blood brother. The only brother I have." 

That definitely broke James' heart.

"And you're right, okay? I'm just like my family. So much so that I will stay with them during the holidays. Tell your parents thank you for everything."

"What? Sirius, no! You can't go back to that place!"

"In fact, yes I can. It's my family, Potter. Whether I like it or not."

"I'm sorry for what I said, I—"

"Do you think I'm so stupid? I heard what Remus said. You told him you wish you had never met me."

"That was because..."

"I don't care about your excuses. I understand your pain and your anger. But you must understand mine too."

"Sirius..."

"It's over, James. I'm no longer part of your life. I hope one day you can forgive me, yes, but I will never forgive myself. So that's why I'm walking away."

He didn't even listen to James's pleas, Sirius ran out of that place. I didn't want to continue crying in front of him. 

Upon reaching the dungeons, he collapsed, beginning to cry.

"Siri?" 

Sirius looked up and observed his little brother. His only brother.

"Reggie..."

Regulus hugged him. He hugged him tightly. 

There was no need to say anything, that hug said it all. I'm here for you and you are here for me. We will be fine. Just you and me. As in the beginning.

"Just us... And Dorcas, Pandora, Marlene, Peter, Evan and Barty."

"Pff, I like that." 

"WELCOME BACK HOME, SIRIUS!" Barty, again, came in screaming.

"You're home, Sirius." Pandora said and smiled warmly.

"One more for the gang, perfect."

"We didn't have this color."

"And Regulus?"

"Regulus looks like a cat. We needed a dog." Dorcas said laughing.

Sirius laughed and wiped away his tears. 

No one in that place had noticed that the door was open, allowing a dark-skinned boy to hear everything. 

That boy returned to his bedroom crying.

— ★ — 

James walked into his room crying.

"James?"

As soon as he heard his name called, he wiped away his tears.

"Hey, Marls!" 

Marlene didn't say anything, she simply walked over to James and hugged him.

"Shhh. I understand that it is difficult. You are hurt. But everything will be solved."

James couldn't take it anymore. He burst into tears.

"No, Marlene! Not this time! Sirius said that I was no longer his brother and—and that I would never be the same again."

"You know Sirius loves being a drama queen."

Hearing no laughter, Marlene sighed and placed herself on the floor, placing James' head on her lap.

"Listen, James. They both screwed up, yes, definitely. But you still love each other. It will take a long time for them to trust each other again, but it doesn't matter, the love they have for each other cannot disappear just like that. It's hard I know. Get on with your life until then. Sirius did it, didn't he? You try it too. Give yourself time to heal. You are always making sure to take care of others but who takes care of you?"

Voila, that was all it took for James to start shaking.

"Oh James... You are strong too."

Marlene lulled him to sleep.

Well, she was right about one thing. She had to move on. He and Sirius would be fine. Just like everyone else.

"I had a dream, I got everything I wanted

But when I wake up, I see you with me

And you say: As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you

Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to

If I could change the way that you see yourself

You wouldn't wonder why you hear: They don't deserve you"