Save Your Tears

Approximately 2 months had passed since the prank. And nothing was ever the same again.

Remus Lupine swore never to speak to Sirius Black again and he was keeping it. But every day it became more difficult.

See, Sirius had been leaving good quality chocolates on Remus's bed. If Remus said he wanted a book but couldn't afford it, it would magically appear the following week on his bedside table. Like notebooks and pens.

But it didn't matter. Remus was still the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower. And he was not going to leave that title in oblivion.

If there was a party and someone was interested in him, he would jump at the opportunity. Always making sure Sirius saw that, because he wanted to make the boy feel pain and regret it.

But that was not the worst.

No.

The worst thing was that he was still inlovewithSirius.

That was the worst.

No matter how hard he tried, the black-haired boy would always be present in his mind.

If he smiled, Remus looked away, because he was afraid that all the hatred and anger that he had been keeping would disappear.

He wished he could hate him properly. He wanted it with all his might...

He always tried to let Sirius know that he hated him. Whether it was ignoring him, giving gifts to all his friends except him, even going so far as to speak badly about him behind his back. But no matter how hard he tried, it seemed like Sirius wasn't going to give up.

Well, until this day.

James had a date with Regulus and Peter agreed to help Barty and Evan with their homework, so they were alone in the bedroom.

He thought about going to the library, but a soft voice stopped him. 

"Remus?" 

"..."

"Remus. I... can we talk?"

"No." Remus tried to leave the bedroom, but Sirius grabbed his arm hard. Hell, he'd forgotten how strong Sirius was.

"Please."

"... Five minutes."

"Oh, well, I... Well I wanted to apologize for everything. I swear, I would never try to harm you alone... Something happened, Snape said something and I felt so..."

"Of course, because telling my secret was the best way to get it off your back."

"But I didn't want things to happen like that! I lost my temper, I accept it! But if you only listen to why..."

"No, Black." The use of the last name made Sirius' eyes widen in surprise. Remus knew that was going to hurt him forever. "You're a monster. I trusted you with what I had most and just because of your stupidity you went and opened your damn good-for-nothing mouth. No matter why you did it, I will never forgive you. I hate you so much, you understand?"

"Please Remus...I'll change, I swear. I'll be better. I know, I don't deserve you, but I can fix it. Once everything—everything is settled, I—I will find us a place. We'll have a place and you can avoid me if you want but just knowing that—that you'll be with me is... enough for me. I—I wanted to marry you..."

Remus let out a cold, sarcastic laugh, pushing Sirius away. 

"Stop saying stupid things. I don't want you around."

And with that he ran towards the bookstore, hiding between the shelves

"Remus?" 

Remus looked up and saw Lily Evans.

Lily had been her best friend since they started Hogwarts. And he loved her. She always understood him and was there for him in an indescribable way.

"Oh darling, what happend?" 

Through tears, Remus told him everything. From the incident until this day. He told her the conversation.

"He said what?! That idiot!" Lily was as red as her hair.

Lily sat next to him and hugged him protectively. After Poppy, Lily had definitely been like a mother to him.

"At least tell me the boys took your side because if not..."

"Of course they did. Including James and, believe it or not, last night he confessed to me that he wishes he had never met Sirius."

"Good. He deserves it."

"... I hate him, Lily. I hate him too much. I wish he wouldn't talk to me. I wish he would never look at me. I wish he didn't exist..."

Remus and Lily heard how many books fell on the other side, ending with footsteps hurrying away.

"Well... I wish it too, darling."

"But you know what's the worst? That I still love him..."

Remus and Lily had to choose their words carefully, as wishes could end up coming true. And we are in a world where magic DOES exist.

— ★ — 

Sirius was running through the hallways at full speed, even transforming into Padfoot. Some students were wondering why there was a big black dog running around the castle.

He ran.

And ran.

And ran.

And ran.

All he felt was the oxygen in his lungs and the pain in his chest.

He ran again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

He ran until he collided with a girl with white hair.

"Sirius? Why are you in your animagus form? Someone could discover you!" Pandora said.

She quickly took off her robe and covered the dog with it. Maybe it was late, but at least this way she could take him to the dungeons discreetly. 

Padfoot was whimpering, even in his dog form, he seemed to be crying.

"Oh my boy, it's ok, soon we will be with Regulus and the others."

Pandora was like an angel. She looked like an angel and to him, she was. She was the sweetest person he had ever met.

She always cared about him and, along with Barty, took care of him after the prank. Pandora never judged him for anything and explained why his pain was also valid. 

After a short walk, they arrived at the Slytherin dormitories and soon, their brother's room.

"Oh... They're not here. Well, it doesn't matter. Sirius, could you turn back into a human so we can talk?" 

Pandora left the dog on a bed and took a blanket to place on the floor so she could sit.

"Come on honey, I won't be able to help you like this."

After a few minutes, Sirius was sitting up in bed with his eyes swollen and red.

"My boy..." 

"Remus said he wished I wasn't here. He said that James had confessed to him that he wished he had never been my friend... Even Lily agreed."

"... My little star, don't pay attention to those idiots. You blew it, yes, but there was a reason for it and if they could just listen to you..."

"But they don't want to listen to me! Nobody does it! And maybe they are right, maybe I should never have been born..."

"Sirius Orión Black! Never, ever say that again!" Pandora slapped him and then hugged him. 

"We are human, we often make mistakes... And yes, this time it was something big, but it was not your intention."

"SO SIP THE GOSSIP-" 

The sweet moment was interrupted due to Barty's singing (screams). Sirius and Pandora looked at each other and started laughing.

"Dora? Siri? What are you doing here?"

"Well... We have a lot to explain."

After a whole mess of words, tears from Sirius and curses from Barty and Regulus, everything was explained.

"I swear on Salazar that I'm going to murder Potter. I am so regretting having agreed to that date." 

"I'm going to hide the body!" Pandora said.

"Thanks for... the offers. But I'll do what Remus wants. If he doesn't want to listen to me, that's fine with me. From now on I will not exist for him.

"Sirius..."

"No, seriously. It's fine. Everything's fine." 

"... If that's what you want to do."

"Ok, I just need to know something. Does Peter also participate in all that?" Evan ask.

Sirius rolled his eyes fondly and shook his head.

"No, Evan. You and Barty can keep fucking Pete. But if you hurt him..."

"Never!" Barty said.

That night, Sirius fell asleep in the living room coming and going.

— ★ — 

Remus had a bad feeling. 

For 2 weeks now, Sirius hadn't insisted on talking to him. Whenever Remus entered a place, Sirius left.

If Remus said he wanted a book, it no longer magically appeared on his bed.

There were no chocolates anymore.

Or looks.

Nothing.

He must have been grateful, right? Well no. This was beginning to worry him. 

But worst of all, Sirius looked happy without him. Now he spent more time with people from another house.

He didn't talk to James or Lily anymore. The latter was grateful, but James was not. He also knew something was wrong.

And they only confirmed it when one normal day, Sirius was joking with Pete.

"Damn Peter, that was too funny."

"Hey! I also have very embarrassing moments about you!"

Sirius continued to laugh but as soon as he looked at Remus, he stood up.

"Ok Wormtail, I leave you. I need to go with Regulus to finish organizing the next party"

"I'm invited, right?"

"Yes, and in any case, Evan and Barty are going to ask you to go with them."

Sirius smiled and left the room, completely ignoring Remus.

"Oh, Moony! How's it going? How's everything with...Alex?" 

"Just one night, Pete. You know."

"Mhmm. Listen, I'm invited to a party in Slytherin, you should come too. I think this time there are no special passes and, furthermore, they are accepting everyone over 16!"

"I...I'll think about it."

"Good!" Peter smiled and headed to the bathroom.

Why is he nice to him? Remus thought. 

— ★ —

In the end, Remus agreed to the party.

And he was having a good time, but at the same time he wasn't. He just wished he could be close to Sirius and listen to his jokes. 

Remus was so distracted that he couldn't hear when the music stopped and the lights went out.

"What the hell?!" 

It seemed that someone had sabotaged the party.

But that was not so important, because there was someone standing on the improvised stage.

"Okay, everyone calm down! I'm not that good, if I must admit, but I have a couple of songs that would be perfect for this environment! So, a little light and let it continue!"

Sirius. Sirius was about to sing and that only made Remus want to get everyone out of that room.

Sirius was only supposed to sing for him. 

"Ooh

Na na, yeah

I saw you dancing in a crowded room

You look so happy when I'm not with you

But then you saw me, caught you by surprise

A single teardrop falling from your eye" 

Barty was playing guitar while Evan helped with drums and Pandora with bass. But he just wanted to cry.

That song was for him.

It was at the second party he attended after the prank. Remus had been dancing happily with complete strangers, but as soon as he laid eyes on Sirius, he started crying.

"I don't know why I run away

I'll make you cry when I run away

You could've asked me why I broke your heart

You could've told me that you fell apart

But you walked past me like I wasn't there

And just pretended like you didn't care"

He felt the first tear run down his cheek. That's all what had happened between them.

"I don't know why I run away

I'll make you cry when I run away

Take me back 'cause I wanna stay

Save your tears for another

Save your tears for another day

Save your tears for another day" 

Suddenly, Sirius's eyes were on him as he sang the chorus. Gray against amber. A storm against a sunset.

"So, I made you think that I would always stay

I said some things that I should never say

Yeah, I broke your heart like someone did to mine

And now you won't love me for a second time

I don't know why I run away, oh, boy

Said I'll make you cry when I run away"

And there it was. The first tear fell from those gray eyes.

"Boy, take me back 'cause I wanna stay

Save your tears for another

I realize that I'm much too late

And you deserve someone better

Save your tears for another day (ooh, yeah)

Save your tears for another day (yeah)

I don't know why I run away

I'll make you cry when I run away

Save your tears for another day, ooh, boy (ah)

I said save your tears for another day (ah)

Save your tears for another day (ah)

Save your tears for another day (ah)"

"He found out everything you said to Lily." 

Remus started a little, looking at Regulus.

"... What things?"

"That you wish you'd never met him and all that."

"Oh."

"Oh." 

"I see..."

"Listen, Lupin. You both are very hurt, I think you should leave all this here and meet more people. And not only in the sexual sense."

Regulus stared at him, blue eyes boring into him.

"But" Regulus said. "I know you will never be able to forget each other, so just give yourself more time and when you think you canforgive, talk and start from scratch."

"If you didn't look at me that way I might even think you cared about me." 

"Yes, I'm worried that I won't be the one to kill you."

"Are you serious?"

"No... I'm Regulus. Anyway, if you want you can follow my advice and if not, talk to him and tell him that you can never come back."

"... A few more months and I'll be able to talk to him. I still love him too much."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Hmm, James is crying because you don't pay attention to him."

"He deserves it. He also said the same thing about my brother."

"Oh, so also..."

"Yes."

"I see."

"...Tell him I'll talk to him later. Now, goes about your business, and this never happened."

The youngest of the Blacks walked away to try to fix the problem with the music and all that. 

Remus looked at Sirius.

Sirius looked at Remus.

They both smiled slightly and continued with the party.

There is no moon without a star.

And there is no star without the moon.