Under that Vast and Timeless Sky

“Kagami! Hey, it’s time to wake up!”

I woke up from my dream with a start, the world I was imagining fading away into the bleary, pink-purple mist of early-morning wakefulness. It had been a strange dream, of a whole other life. In my gut I felt a sense of overwhelming urgency, of confusion, and even when I opened my eyes in the semi-darkness, I couldn’t be sure I knew where I was. The imagery and lore of that world had been immaculate and vivid to the greatest detail. As moments ticked past, as much as I tried to hold onto them, the memories felt less and less defined, but the notion that I had lost something very important remained. I brushed the sleep sand out of my eyes and rolled over, pouting into my pillow. My alarm was going off over and over, but I had somehow slept right through it. It’s too comfortable. Impossible to move. Can’t I just beam the knowledge into my brain? I hate school… And these memories…

Again, my mother called from downstairs.
“Kagami! Don’t make me come up there! And get your sister up, too!”

“Yeah, yeah!” I groaned out, as loud as I could muster. Fat chance of that. Tsukasa was a much heavier sleeper than myself even, which was a daunting prospect as the elder twin. The waking up duties were always passed on to me, and a few times Tsukasa had been in such a deep sleep that I’d genuinely worried I wouldn’t ever be able to wake her. Scratching my chest and brushing my long hair out of my face, I took my time getting to my feet.

I stumbled out into the second-floor landing. The lights were still off on this level, so I supposed that meant my elder sisters Inori and Matsuri were still sleeping. Lucky them. Directly across from my room was the door to the bathroom, and slightly to the left of that was the door to Tsukasa’s room, on the east side of the house. I slouched over to her door and rapped a short, staccato knock.

“Hey, Tsukasa. It’s way past time to get up and get ready…” As much as I tried, I couldn’t keep the tone of irritation out of my voice. I knew it was unfair of me to get upset with her but it was too damn early either way.
There was no response. Of course.

I sighed and opened the door, which pushed open without a sound. It was very dark inside, the formless shapes reaching out to me comforting and familiar while at the same time a little disquieting. They reminded me a little of the strange dissolving images of my departed dreams. I nearly stumbled on something unseen making my way to Tsukasa’s bedside. Grumbling, I reached down to adjust the sheets and try shaking her awake, but my hand met only a cool, empty span of air and sank into the plush comforter. Something about standing in the inky black void of Tsukasa’s room and finding it devoid of her presence sent a chill down my spine. In the back of my mind, I heard an echo of the dream I had awoken from, a sort of ringing noise that formed itself into words. Tsukasa hadn’t been in that world, my mind’s voice stated firmly. She’s not in this world either. A totally irrational fear gripped me in that moment, filled my knotting stomach with black bile. I trembled and tears formed unbidden at the corners of my eyes, my hand screwing up into the comforter so much that it tore. A seamful of stuffing pushed out, and I let out a blood-curdling scream at the top of my lungs.

A moment later, I heard a loud banging sound and an answering shriek from… the playroom? In between my room and Tsukasa’s room was what we called the “playroom,” which really had been Inori’s room before the vaulted attic room had been furnished. I sprinted out of the door and slammed the playroom door open, throwing on the light to find Tsukasa on the floor, bedraggled and bleary-eyed, attempting to disentangle herself unsuccessfully from one of the traditional folding chairs. An assortment of scattered art supplies and drawings lay half on the kotatsu that had been set in the center of the room, half on the tatami mats in a state of serious disarray. Behind her, the French doors to the little balcony were closed, but the shades had been left open to reveal the endless inky expanse of early morning darkness. 

“Wha—what happened?” She said, confused and sporting a bruise on her forearm. But before she could say anything further I had closed the distance between her and swept her up into a bone-crushing hug.

“O-oww… Sis… Haha… you’re hurting me…” She said, the breath being forced out of her. I relented after a moment, loosening my embrace but still holding onto her closely. My eyes were unleashing a torrent of tears onto her shoulder, soaking into her matching matcha-green cotton nightshirt. She returned the hug and giggled, her tone a little confused.

“I heard a scream, is everything alright up here?” Mom showed up in the doorway, a look of deep concern on her youthful face. Her hair was tied back with a handkerchief signifying today was pre-spring cleaning day; an odd tradition in the Hiiragi household.

“Y-yeah sorry, everything’s fine,” I stuttered, letting go of Tsukasa and catching the back of my head with a sheepish smile. “I thought I saw a spider is all, but false alarm!”

“Jeez…” Matsuri said, arriving at the scene. The furrow in her brow gave her the look of someone who’d just bitten into an ‘old apple’ only to realize it was, in fact, a red potato. “I thought someone had died. Spiders aren’t even that scary…”
She pondered for a moment, and then added in a low, serious voice.
“Did you see where it went to? I’ve always wanted a pet spider…”

Mom shook her head and smiled. Her understanding seemed to always go to the furthest extent possible—in all our years managing her household of four crazy daughters, she’d only ever lost her temper maybe a handful of times. Dad tended to be gentle and responsible, but he was the one to blow up if anyone would.

“Girls, there’s no way you’re keeping a spider in the house as a pet. It’s not safe,” Mom said. “But hey, I guess this kerfuffle got you up Tsukasa. If loud noises are what work best, maybe Kagami should just scream in your ear in the morning from now on~”

“That’s really not necessary…” Tsukasa murmured, a pained smile on her sleepy face.

“Yeah, that’s a terrible idea,” Matsuri retorted, crossing her arms and looking at me with a very intense, angry vibe. “You’re lucky you didn’t wake Inori, she’s got a huge exam this week!” That look on her face, that stance… does she think she's a thug?!

Mom smiled and touched Matsuri on the shoulder, directing her out of the entry way and back into the landing where she murmured something in a voice too soft to hear. Matsuri chuckled and shook her head.

“She’s gotta teach me that one some time…”

She poked her head back into the room as Mom headed back downstairs.

“You two owe me one, so be thinking how you want to repay me.”

“How do you figure that?!” I retorted, raising my fist. “You didn’t do anything but complain! Not to mention, you almost got a spider out of it!”

“Yeah, almost. But if I hadn’t distracted her, if she’d seen the state of this room… As easy-going as she is, I bet you’d have gotten loads of chores to do.” She stuck out her tongue and winked. “I’ll consider us even if you get me that light novel I mentioned the other day.”

“No way! Just on principle, I refuse!”

“Hey, fine… But when I go downstairs, I might suggest that Mom start with the upstairs first.”

“You dirty, rotten—” That no good Matsuri…!

“It’s alright sis, I’ll help you get it!” Tsukasa piped up, looking at me. “I’ve been saving some money, so it’s really okay!”

Matsuri shrugged and turned with a smile.

“Whatever, you two figure it out. I’m off to resume my date with my pillow. And things were just gettin’ good.”

She swaggered away, leaving me fuming and Tsukasa smiling and scratching her head.

“Tsukasa… No matter how you slice it, this is really your fault you know…”

“Yeah, I know.” Her voice trailed off like a soft, summer breeze. She’s taking full responsibility? I was the one who screamed after all… The fact that a person could exist who was so generous and non-confrontational really irked me. What the heck gave her the right to be so damn kind? “But Kagami,” she said, starting as though she’d been shocked with a live wire, and patted at my arm. “Hey, hey, did you say you saw a spider in my room?!” 

“Um… not exactly,” I said, looking away. I was unsure of how to answer this question. Being honest about this felt weird, I wasn’t used to this side of me. Being vulnerable just didn’t come naturally. But the mere thought of trying to lie to my twin sister made no sense whatsoever, and I refused outright to follow that thread of thought. 

“Well, what was it? Was it a ghost?” Her eyes widened.

“When you weren’t in your room, I kind of… lost it,” I said in a small voice.

“Lost what?”

“I dunno. My composure, my mind?”

“But why?”

I shrugged. “You weren’t there when I expected you to be.”

“But onee-chan, we were coloring in the playroom until late last night. Don’t you remember?” She giggled. “When I got so tired and heavy with sleep, you tried to push me to my room…” Like a mime, she gestured for effect. “And then you said ‘If the floor is really that comfortable, just sleep right there for all I care!’”

I paused to think about this.

“I do remember that…” I said. “But I lived a totally different life in my dream. I’m only able to remember bits and pieces of it now, but it was so strange. I was alive in a world that didn’t include you in it, and I was so lonely. It was like a part of me was trapped in a dry well a thousand miles deep and a thousand miles wide.”Tsukasa considered this, nodding. Judging by her reaction, this was the most normal and reasonable thing to get upset over in the world.
“So when I reached down to try to shake you awake, not finding you where I expected you was a huge shock. It triggered something in me, something innate and primal. I was terrified that I’d brought back something horrible from my dream. The thought of living in a world without you scared the hell out of me.”

Tsukasa smiled at me, eyes full of brightness and wonder.

“To be honest, I would probably react the same way as you, sis.”

“Really?”

“Of course. If I woke up in a world that didn’t have you in it, I think I’d scream too. Loud enough to wake up the whole house. I’m not so good at a lot of things, and I try my best to take care of things on my own, but I know I probably rely on you for a lot of stuff normal people have no problem with…
But beyond that, I’d be so scared to be in a world without you, Kagami. I always felt weird when I had thoughts like this, but it feels like we’re two halves to the same whole. Like we can guess what the other one is thinking.”
“—thinking,” I said at the same time as her and smiled.

“Mmm!” She said, nodding and hugging me with such force that a cup of muddy paint-water was sent tumbling onto the tatami along with the rest of the art supplies. 

“We really should clean this room—” I began, only to be greeted with an irate voice from downstairs:

“Girls!!! Please tell me you’re getting ready?!”

Crap.

* * *