Anticipation (Regulus)
Regulus was tired.
He was tired of dreading the day he went home. He was tired of finally finding a place where he wasn’t punished for breathing the wrong way just to have it ripped away several times throughout the year and remember what it meant to be a black.
And now as he sat across from Narcissa, he was tired of feeling like he had to watch over his shoulder everywhere he went, he studied her face. He knew what she was going to say before she said it but it still hurt when the words came out of her mouth.
“You need to stop hanging out with that Crouch boy.”
His posture shifted a little bit as he stared at her.
“Alright.”
“I mean it regulus, I do not want to see you talk to him one more time this year, his father is in the ministry. Do you even know what would happen if you said the wrong thing?”
Regulus’ neutral face suddenly became a little bit harsher, “he hates his father. And of course I know what would happen I’m not a child, do you think I’ve uttered a single word about the black family since coming here? The only thing I’ve even mentioned was about bloody stars.”
Narcissa’s eyes wavered slightly over him before turning back up, grey on grey.
“Just don’t talk to him anymore, at least not in public or where I could see. I’m still studying Occlumency and they can’t find what they didn’t see.” She said with a passive expression.
“Send me a list of the books names I might as well study it if it’s that big of a deal.”
Narcissa looked him over again, “don’t get caught, I’ll just write it up right now safer that way, have kreacher bring them to you before you return home, order him to make sure no one finds out of course.” She said while scribbling down letters on a scrap piece of paper she had ripped off the corner of one of her parchments.
“Alright.” He Said, instead of the usual ‘I’m not a bloody idiot’ that would’ve followed, but since she was doing him a favor he supposed he could be a little bit nicer than normal.
He returned to the dorm two hours later, missing dinner. God explaining this situation was going to he impossible.
As he walked in he saw Barty and Evan playing a game of exploding snaps. It was only a month before the return home, it shouldn’t be too hard.
Regulus looked at the two of them before speaking, his voice slightly colder than normal due to his bad mood.
“I can’t speak with you, in public until next year.”
Barty paused looking up at him,”why?”
“Narcissa is meant to be reporting back and everything and you are the head DMLs son, we just can’t be anywhere she can see us.”
Barty shrugged, his mood looked slightly worse,”do you want me to sit somewhere else at lunch I could-“
“I’ll just sit with mulcibers lot best if I start dealing with them sooner than later anyways.”
Evan sagged a little finally looking up,”this is absolute rubbish, we can all meet up in the secret room though, for dinner I mean. Just go to the kitchens first.”
Barty perked up at that, “yes and we can cast a muffliato spell, so that no one hears us and then we can be as loud as we want!”
Regulus nodded a small smile twisting on his lips, “alright I think I’m going to go to bed.”
First he went into their bathroom to take a quick shower, brush his teeth and wash his face before putting on more comfortable clothes. He was out seconds after his head hit the pillow, which was strange to say the least about his irrational sleeping habits.
Regulus woke up with a flinch, one second it was darkness and the next he was jolted into reality. He cast the charm he had learned to tell the time, due to the only windows showing the lake, and saw it was barley past three. With a quiet sigh he dug out the books underneath his mattress and started reading them. He had gotten the books a few months ago- just to prevent his mother from seeing a few things in his mind, mainly Sirius. Seeing as he would have to hide barty now too he quietly started reading his vision halting on the title, ‘everything you need to know about mind spells and how they work’.
His mind drifted as he read.
There were only two weeks left of
school.
Unless his mother finds out he was still talking to Barty he should be fine unless she uses Legilimency for some other reason.
For a while he disappears, his thoughts running too fast for him to really comprehend and suddenly when he finally snaps back to himself he checks the time again and sees that breakfast is about to start.
He gets ready in a blur, shower, hair, clothes, rings. He grabs a book to read and starts walking to the great hall.
The week passed in the blink of an eye. His- friends, moods were worsening a little. Through the haze of his own mind he had been observing them.
Dorcas seemed sad, but he suspected it was because she would miss her friends or just the general aspect of hogwarts. She also acted excited to see her family over break but she didn’t mention them much, either she wanted to separate her school life from her home life or didn’t want to sour their moods even more by bringing jealousy into the mix.
Pandora and Evan had different reactions despite going back to the same house, similar to him and Sirius.
Pandora looked, disappointed, she still smiled often but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Evan seemed resigned, most of the time he was at ease almost. Sure his eyes darted around in each room he entered, but that was more of a habit than anything else from what Regulus could tell. Another thing he noticed was that they were both eating more and faster than normal. And he realized they did this before they left for any other breaks as well. This led him to believe the main punishment they got was probably something to do with food. If it was anything like regulus’ experiences he assumed they were given smaller amounts of food as punishments, enough for them to look presentable but never enough to be full.
Barty was, for lack of a better word, erratic. He would talk frantically, and for longer, he would tell more jokes, he slouched more. He also ate his food slightly different. Not as if he would be starved but more as if he was trying to eat the exact opposite as what was considered ‘proper’. This was likely due to his Father having him eat with his family for meals, or at least he believed it was his Father since Barty insulted him often, but barley mentioned his mother.
Regulus didn’t bother checking to see how Sirius behaved, he knew he would be laughing, hanging out with his friends constantly, zoning out.
One thing was clear in Regulus’ mind after the week had passed. They knew him too well, they knew too much. Nobody should know that he’s dreading going home besides himself, or Sirius.
No one should know that he was even able to cry, yet alone having seen it. He shouldn’t trust them, and they sure as hell shouldn’t trust him.
Testing was tomorrow, for all of their classes. Regulus had assumed it was because the older years had exams that spread out across the last month and grading first year, and second year work was easier. Regulus didn’t bother studying much, it was only used as a distraction. He had paid attention all year not to mention his lessons at home.
He vaguely remembered a tutor they had when they were young, from what he remembered his mother had fired her because she wasn’t tough enough and since she was teaching them as much as they should. Regulus assumes he was under five during that period of time, one day she was there the next Sirius had a burn on his arm for not paying attention.
“Reggie, get out of your big head.”
Regulus turned his head away from the window showing the dark lake towards barty who was standing next to the chair regulus was sitting on in their dorm.
“Don’t call me that.” He said barley managing to avoid sighing, “what do you want?”
Barty clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth before running a hand through his messy grown out hair, that regulus assumed would he chopped off the moment he arrived back home.
“So, I want to do something I don’t know… fun? Before we leave, you know how to do that right?”
Regulus’ only response was to roll his eyes.
“Okay okay, whatever but tomorrow night I was thinking we should sneak out, hear me out before you say no. We could go to that cave maybe go swimming.”
Regulus tilted his head, “I can’t swim, but you do what you want to do ask the others first.”
Barty seemed to think of an amazing idea which had regulus regretting his choice of words.
“I can teach you! C’mon it’ll be fun, Evan’s in the bathroom and I bet he’ll agree then pandora and Dorcas should be easy.”
Regulus folded his arms on the desk in front of him before letting his head fall into them. Great. Any belief he had in some sort of god was crumbled in this very moment.
The Exams were tedious but overall easy, he had to observe other people out of the corner of his eye so he knew when he was moving too fast, the last thing he wants is to be put up a year. Sure he’d finish school faster but then he’d be trapped at his house for a year with no excuse to leave.
Currently barty was lying in bed face pressed into the pillow. He was wearing all black, some outfit he had transfigured regulus didn’t bother to pay attention to it. The only explanation the other boy had given was “sneakier”.
Evan was pacing biting his nails lightly, likely because he was scared of his grades they’d be given in two days with a chance to redo them the day they were given out and the day after and the exam would have the ones he got wrong pointed out so he could just go find the answer in some book or ask someone who got it right the answer. But he was still from a pureblood family and had spent the week before exams studying like a mad man.
Barty was simply bored and waiting until filch finished walking his rounds near the Slytherin dorms, which he had figured out by finding a prefects patrol schedule by sneaking into their dorm when they weren’t there.
Regulus let out a soft sigh when barty had decided it was time to leave and had jumped off of his bed. Eventually they met up with Dorcas and Pandora.
Regulus ignored the chatter between his friends, giving short answers when they spoke to him. The walk was long and dull. Once they got outside the spring air filtered through his lungs, the rest were all talking in hushed whispers and giggles.
Soon enough they were all jumping down the hole into the cave. Regulus went last jumping down before just letting his body fall straight back. Sadly barty caught him and tilted him back up laughing.
“Stop pouting reg.” He said after moving to stand in front of Regulus.
“Why’s he pouting?” Evan asked his eyebrows slightly raised at the dramatic display.
Barty clicked his tongue, “I’m gonna teach our dearest Reggie how to swim!”
Regulus glared at barty before his eyes drifted to the water. He huffed before he began walking.
“Then teach me how to swim, better hurry before I drown.” He muttered before stepping into the water and letting himself sink,
Down,
Down,
Down,
And
Up.
Thank Merlin he was starting to run out of breath.
The water went straight down, regulus had already known this from the last time they were here, but he wasn’t sure if anyone else had noticed, so he didn’t believe anyone would realize he would actually go underwater.
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” He heard a voice say slightly muffled after he was above water, he assumed it was Dorcas, pandora never yells, and it was definely not a boys voice.
Barty was holding him up, laughing like a crazy person, they were both still in the water. Regulus raised an eyebrow.
“He’s the one who wanted to teach me how to swim. How is this my fault?”
Bartys laughter was finally slowing down at the same moment regulus realized he still had his shoes on, and his socks.
“Barty, take my shoes off for me or I won’t let you teach me.”
Bartys laughter paused before looking back at regulus, “Merlin’s you’re crazy, honestly how have I never realized this before.” He looked at regulus again realizing he was serious, letting out a small huff of laughter he swam over to the edge, helped regulus up until he was sitting down. Regulus’ eyebrow raised slightly again, he watched as barty submerged himself underwater.
Regulus could see a vague silhouette of messy brown hair under the water. Eventually barty pulled himself back up setting regulus’ shoes next to him. His dark green eyes were opened wide as he breathed deeply.
“You are such an ass, c’mon.” He said a low grin on his face as he pulled Regulus back into the water holding both of his hands.
“Just kick your legs Alright?”
Regulus realized he had forgotten about the others presence and turned back seeing them all watching him and barty while they talked. Awkward. Regulus turned back and tried kicking his legs. Even more awkward how the actual bell do you do this.
“You’re shit at explaining this.”
Barty only laughed in response, “just kick your legs yeah, you’ll figure it out then you just move your arms side to side when you’re in one place, but when you’re moving you’re gonna want to put them in front of you then bring them to your sides, try it.”
Then barty let go. If anyone asked regulus how long it took him to figure it out he would lie. Once regulus finally figured it out the others joined them deeming it safe or something Regulus wasn’t sure. They spent half of the night laughing at him while regulus glared, Regulus did see Dorcas whisper something in Bartys ear that caused him to look embarrassed but decided not to worry too much about it.
When they finally went back to the dorms Regulus fell asleep easily and didn’t dream once.