Barty had to be the unluckiest person alive. Think of it like this, if such things as ‘the chosen one’ did exist, Barty was the exact opposite. Instead of plot armour it seemed like every bad thing possible happened to him. Every worst outcome is what he ended up with. Exactly 6 months ago, Evan had started dating Holly Ilasson, a hufflepuff girl. Of course Barty should have been happy for his friend but that's a bit difficult to do when you’re in love with him. And not only that, but he knew for a fact that Evan had to like him back. Still it hurt, still it seemed like the worst possible outcome to him. He had everything he could want, just out of reach.
It was another one of those nights where he enjoyed his self pity. Chain smoking cigarettes in his dorm room, pissing off Regulus who was trying to get his potions homework completed before Slughorn got mad at him. (Not that that would ever be happy. Regulus was Sluggy’s favourite as Barty called him). In the midst of his smoke induced vertigo, Evan collapsed on the bed next to him. “Why are girls so much drama?”
This made Barty laugh. “You and Holly got into a spat? Just cut out girls in total and date men. We both know you like blokes.” He tried to keep his tone light hearted but there was still an edge of malice present.
“Fuck, don’t remind me of that Barty.” Oh that's right. Evan for some reason, most likely due to his home life, was the most homophobic queer man that Barty had ever met. “Seriously though, I wish I could break up with her.”
He took another hit of his cigarette, passing it to Evan who graciously accepted. “Why don't you?”
He knew the answer was a complicated one. “You know why B. My parents are finally happy with me, I can’t lose that. Besides, I love her, even if I hate being with her.”
“What if you could? If you could date anyone, who would it be?” His breathing slowed. He knew Evan’s answer, or at least the answer he had convinced himself was true.
Evan rolled his eyes, trying to find a way out of telling the truth. “Not sure, Macdonalds is good looking enough.”
“Evan, I’m serious ok?” And he was. His voice was cooler now, not joking. He wanted an answer. “No more of this homophobic bullshit. You know who you are, you know who you lik-” Before he could finish his rant, his breath was swallowed by the mouth of Evan. It wasn’t at all like Barty imagined. The way Evan held himself, the way he spoke, it all together hinted towards a reserved quiet boy. He seemed to hide in the shadows. But how he kissed? He kissed as though he was on fire, skin burning and desperate to be put out, desperate to light something else aflame.
“Oh.” They broke apart, faces still intimately close together. “I’ve never kissed another boy.” Barty knew this, he knew everything about Evan.
“I know, what did you think?” He waited expectantly. Things were finally looking like they might just work out for Barty.
Evan looked scared, his shoulders tensed and he stood up, backing away from Barty. “I think that we should spend some time apart for a bit. I’m going to see Holly.” Fuck. He took back the whole ‘things looking up thing’, Barty Crouch Jr. remained the unluckiest man alive.
They didn’t talk for days, at least not in proper conversations. They spoke in passing but it was curt and unemotional. It was tearing Barty apart from the inside out, god did it sting. He wanted nothing more than to run over to Evan, kiss him and slap him and yell at him for being so stupid. He didn’t know how long this was going to go on for, he didn’t know what he would do when it was over. Was Evan going to just pretend it had never happened?
That was actually exactly what happened. Evan and him slowly became tense friends, talking more. It hurt Barty to pretend there was nothing between them, but it was for the best. He had made a move and it had gone horribly wrong. He would rather have Evan as a friend than as nothing at all. This was at least until one day, at least another 3 months after they had kissed, that Evan had come to him a wreck. His face was red, Barty couldn’t tell if it was because he had been crying or just from anger.
“Shit- Ev what happened? You look like- well no offence but you look like a mess.” Evan let out a wet laugh. He collapsed on the bed next to Barty, shocking him slightly.
“Holly’s cheating on me, leaving me for fucking Mulciber off all people.” Barty felt a rush of excitement, he hated himself for it. “If she was going to leave me she could have at least just dumped me, that’s far easier to explain to my parents. I don't want to have to explain how I wasn't- nevermind.” Barty noticed the way Evan cut himself off, and he felt all too tempted to pry.
“You weren’t..?” He probably shouldn't have asked, based on the glare Evan threw him.
“I wasn’t willing to sleep with her, she assumed it meant I didn’t like her.” This confused Barty. Evan didn’t like girls?
“What do you mean? I thought you were bi? Do you only want to sleep with men or something? I mean no hate if you do.” Evan took a long breath, during which Barty felt as though he couldn’t move.
“No. No Barty. I don’t want to sleep with anyone. I did some research, I’m asexual. I can- I can still feel romantic attraction, I just don't really want the um.. Sex part. Ever.” He looked down, unable to hold Barty’s gaze. “I told her I wasn’t ready so many times that I guess she got tired of waiting for me.”
“Oh, that's ok Ev.” He didn’t really know how to answer Evan. “You deserve better than her, she’s not nice.”
Evan laughed at this. “You’re right about that Barty. She was pretty fucking far from nice. It’s fine though, I’m not all that sad to see her go I guess.” Liar.
“You can grieve Evan, if you loved her. Just know you can do better. I mean clearly she can’t, seeing as she went for Mulciber of all people. He looked like if I tried to transform a toad into a person.” This made Evan laugh again, Barty loved hearing his laugh.
“I mean, he’s taller, he’s whittier, he’s- she just liked him more. And I can’t get her back, I can’t take him on.. I can’t win her back.” Hearing Evan’s heartbreak hurt Barty. He didn’t want the boy to be upset, but at the same time he wanted Evan all to himself. It was very confusing for him.
“Only thing you’re right about there is that you can’t take him on, he’d kick your head in for sure. I guess he is also a bit taller, but minute details Ev, they don’t really matter. The real question is do you want to win her back? Do you want someone who won’t accept you?”
“I just wish she could accept me. I really wish she could.”
“Well you can’t have her Ev.” It sounded harsh, but sometimes that's what people needed. “Yeah he’s bigger, yeah he stole her. Time to get over it.” He gave Evan a knowing look, desperately hoping he would catch on.
“Yeah? And how do you suggest I do that?” Exactly the question Barty had wanted.
“Kiss me again. Please.” And Evan did. The same passion as before, fueled by hurt and everything they had been hiding from each other, from themselves. They kissed until their lips were swollen, but that was it. Barty didn’t push for more, didn’t even ask. And he never would. He wanted Evan. He wanted the casual intimacies of late night whispers. He wanted to be the first person Evan looked to when he heard something funny. He wanted to be the only person Evan kissed, the person who knew the crease his eyes formed when he smiled wide, teeth showing in his laugh.
When they broke apart Barty tried not to feel hurt at the fear in Evan’s eyes. “Please Ev, don't- stay with me for a bit ok?” And he did. He stayed. They lay there together without a word for longer than Barty can remember. Every second felt like minutes, Barty liked it that way. He wanted this to be forever.
Weeks passed since that day. Unfortunately for Barty, him and Evan never really discussed what they were. Both boys seemed far more comfortable around each other, sharing sneaky kisses when they thought no one else was looking. One day they got caught. They were in the library and it was late, seems safe enough right? But right as Barty pulled Evan’s face closer to his own he heard a gasp and the sound of a book hitting the floor. Their heads whipped around the be faced with none other than Holly. “Well well well,” Her face had a maniacal grin. “So I'm not good enough for you but you’ll shag Crouch? I really didn’t clock you for a fa-” She was cut off when the figure of Barty moved straight in front of her.
“I dare you to say that again. Don’t be jealous just because he’s mine now, sweetheart.” Holly rolled her eyes, storming off after picking her book back up. Barty didn’t doubt this would spread, nothing much that he could do to stop it now though. He didn’t care. He kept his eyes fixed on the girl as she left the library, hardly noticing how Evan had slunk his arms around his waist.
“That was hot not gonna lie. Did you mean it? About me being yours.” He laughed softly, never more in love with the blond haired boy.
“Well it’s true, I stole you sweetheart.”
“You certainly did B.” For the first time in his life, Barty felt like the luckiest man to ever fucking live.