R.J.L.
CHAPTER ONE
R.J.L., 1975
It was in the late afternoon of the 31st of August that the Lupin family returned home from their extended holiday to a mountain village in Austria. Lyall Lupin, a former Employee at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, decided rather unexpectedly to treat his wife and son to a much needed escape over the summer.
It was only two months ago that Lyall surprised his wife, Hope, with his premature departure from the ministry and informed her of his plans to rent a small cabin in the mountain forests of Austria where their son would have enough space and freedom to roam around on the nights of the full moon.
“That is the last time we take muggle transportation. Next time, Hope, we will apparate! A six hour delay! How on earth do muggles get anything done? We should have been home hours ago, now Remus, you will have to leave your washing for me to clean with spells and get your trunk sorted as quick as possible, I’ll be in to help as soon as I get the washing sorted.”, Lyall urged, looking around thoughtfully, “And Hope, darling, will you pop ‘round the pub and get us some dinner? The boy needs to rest, I knew we should have come back earlier.. we shouldn’t have stayed for the second moon.”
Remus and his mother exchanged amused glances but quickly got to work.
His father was, of course, right. The August moon was a rather tough one, his limbs were still stiff and ailing and an ugly bruise was forming under his right eyes. Not to mention the new scar spanning mockingly over his nose, from his left ear to his right cheek bone. Yes, both the July and August moons were rather difficult but they were also the first times he was able to feel free all alone during the full.
Before he came to Hogwarts, before he met his best friends, Remus was confined to a small underground cell at the edge of the Lupin family's grounds. At school Remus was provided with the Shrieking Shack, a dangly old building that only still stood strong due to the protective spells Dumbledore has placed on it. It wasn’t much but it was infinitely better than the small cell and by his third year his three best friends did the unthinkable and managed to become animagi, since then Remus only had to spend the full moon alone when he returned home over summer holidays.
While the summer had been one of his better ones, it was also lonely. Usually Remus would have gone to Bell cottage, the Potter family home, in the last week of summer to catch up on their holiday adventures and eagerly await the return to Hogwarts. This time all Remus had were a few owls from James and Peter over hols, asking him how he’s been, how the moons were, if there was any summer romance.
No, there wasn’t. There wasn’t even a summer friendship seeing as the cabin was right in between a large lake and an even larger forest. They were completely alone, by themselves. So, Remus read. He read every book he brought, for school or his own pleasure, and then he read every book his father brought, rather peculiar thriller novels about a squib who exacts revenge on every wizard who wronged him, starting with his own family.
Thankfully it was time to go home before he had to resort to reading his mother’s copy of ‘Laboratory Procedures for Veterinary Technicians’.
It comes to no surprise that their little Elf Owl, Heap, is patiently waiting for him at his desk, small piece of parchment resting in its beak.
‘Remus,
I hope you had a good journey back home.
It’s been odd not having any of you stay at mine this summer. Mum’s been a bit restless with all the extra free time, she misses all of you dreadfully and can’t wait to see you tomorrow at the platform, she made enough grub to last us the first month back at school.
Pete’s been ‘round a couple of times, says he’s got himself a girlfriend. Muggle girl working at the corner shop down in the village.
Other than that nothing noteworthy happened since the last letter I sent.
Have you
I know
I haven’t heard anything from Sirius since that note he wrote at the beginning of hols. I have no right to ask this, but have you heard anything from him? I’m not saying I forgive him, far from it, but I can’t help but worry.’
Remus took a deep breath and shut his eyes. Ah yes, Sirius.
No he hadn’t heard anything from him either- not since the note. ‘Won’t be able to make it to Bells this time- have a great holiday.’
What a shit note, Remus thought. That was all he was going to get after Sirius almost ruined his entire life? Pretend as if nothing happened and maybe it will all blow over?
He shook his head, willing himself not to get worked up again, and continued reading.
‘Lily said she hadn’t heard anything from Snape either, apparently the git spent his summer with Yaxley in London. Don’t even want to imagine what they were up to when I think about what the Prophet’s been reporting.
Anyhow… that’s really all I have to report. I hope your summer has been more eventful than mine.
See you tomorrow, I’ll be the one with the great hair and blinding smile.
James.’
Tiredly Remus fished a fresh sheet of parchment out of his desk drawer and wrote a quick reply:
‘Not heard anything from him. Wouldn’t care either way.’
With that done he made quick work of his chores and readied himself for an early dinner.
“And you’ve got the owl feed? Yes? Last time you forgot Heap returned straight home! We had to send her back to you with her own feed in a package!” Hope stressed.
“Yes ma’, it’s in the trunk, I checked three times. Now will you let me go?” Remus huffed, impatiently shuffling his feet. “I’m meant to meet James and Pete right about now.”
Hope nodded sheepishly, “Of course, dear. You give those boys a big kiss-”
“I won’t be doing that.”
“- from me and promise me you’ll write if you need anything-“
“That I can do.”
“- I packed you some sandwiches, egg and bacon for the lot, I- I wasn’t sure about Sirius, darling, since I haven’t heard you utter his name since you came home but I did pack an extra egg and cress for him.”
Remus stiffened, he hadn’t told his parents that Sirius was at fault. That Sirius, his best friend, his first friend, betrayed him.
That Sirius-
“Moony!”
He turned to see the Potter family already making their way towards them, all bright eyed and wide smiles.
“Hope! Remus! How good it is to see you! No Lyall today? Effie and I were talking the other day, since you lot were away how about we all get together for a nice dinner, huh? While the weather is still holding up, the Pettigrews already agreed, so we’re thinking maybe this weekend or next? I don’t know your guys’ work schedule for this month!” Fleamont Potter greeted, rushing the words out seemingly in one go.
There was a long groan followed by what could only be a palm hitting a forehead before James talked, “My god, dad, take a breath. Let the people catch up with all the information.”
“Right, right. Yes, I’m sorry, you talk now!” Monty ordered rather shamefacedly, while Euphemia Potter failed to hide her amusement.
“It’s lovely to see you again, Monty, Effie. Lyall’s at the office collecting the last of his things, he went into early retirement just before summer! We hadn’t had the chance to empty it out yet, you see, we went to Austria over break! It was the first holiday we took in, my what is it, Remus? A decade?” Hope gushed.
Remus nodded absentmindedly. His attention was already on scanning the quickly filling platform for a familiar mop of black hair.
“My goodness! How wonderful! You’ll have to tell me all about it when we get the chance, I think the boys are rather eager to get to train, eh?” Effie said, pointing to where Remus and James both stood, impatiently hopping from one foot to the other, their searching eyes failing to find their target.
Hope laughed, a joyful sound, and nodded, “Of course! And we’d love to come over for dinner sometime! Just send us an owl with the details. It was great to see you again. Remus, dear?”
“Huh?”
“I’ll be leaving now.”
That apparently got his attention. “Oh, right- yes, well, thanks for taking me mum, give da’ my love.”
Her eyes softened, “Will do, love. You have a grand time at school. Don’t forget to have fun, you need to put the books down once in a while, eh? James, you’ll make sure, yes?
“ ‘Course I will!” James said cheekily. “If I have it my way Moony’s not gonna open a book all term! See you lot at Christmas, maybe! Love you! By now!” he rushed, grabbing Remus by the elbow and rushing towards the train.
Remus could tell how restless James was. Once they settled in their usual compartment his eyes were once again trained to the platform.
“You can talk to me about it, you know?” Remus asked.
James stared at him, as if he were weighing out his options. As if it were actually safe to ask. “He’s not her, Moony.”
“Yes.”
“What does that mean, though? What if something happened? What if he was shipped off to another country? What if they hurt him? What if- Moony, what if he’s dead?”, he whispered, eyes glinting with unshed tears.
“Come off it, Prongs. He’s not dead.”
“I- I wouldn’t put it past them, Moony.”
“James.”
“I know, I know, he hurt us. He hurt you. And I’m still so incredibly upset about it but, Remus, he could be dead!” James whined.
“None of them were at the platform.”
“What?”
“I mean, none of them, right? Not Sirius. Not his parents. Not even Regulus was there. I doubt they offed everyone and then themselves, we would have heard.” Remus countered coolly.
James gasped, “Moony!”, he chastised.
“I’m just saying…” he mumbled.
“The attacks! What about the attacks? What if they-“
“The Black’s wouldn’t be targeted in those attacks and you know that, Prongs. Hell, I bet they were in on them. Happily participating even. Maybe after what happened last term they finally got him to come around. Who knows, he might be off killing some Muggleborns as we speak.”
And he knew that was the wrong thing to say. Even before he looked back up at his friend, who was looking at him in shock. The second those words left his mouth he knew, he knew they were spoken out of spite.
“You can’t actually think that.”
“Maybe.” He murmured. “You said it yourself, Snape wasn’t at home either, who’s to say he wasn’t with the Blacks all summer? Living out his pureblood dream, after all they got on so swimmingly last term, apparently.”
“Remus-“ James warned before he got interrupted.
The door to their compartment swung open, revealing Peter, Lily and Mary.
“I swear! Those new first years are all little demons! I saw one of them throw a chair at Frank Longbottom, a chair! How on earth did they even get one here? I can’t decide if she’ll be sorted into Slytherin or Gryffindor, honestly, both houses would fit her. Depending on the motive, I guess.” Mary complained, plopping down next to Remus. “Spawns of the devil, these lot…”
“Morning, Mary.” James mused, “had a nice summer then?”
She shrugged, “Eh, bit boring to be honest with you.”
“Fantastic,” he replied noncommittedly, “Lils, d’you know how long we have ‘til the prefects meeting?”
Lily nodded distractedly, “Yeah, uh- I think in a bout twenty minutes. I was actually heading that way now, I haven’t seen Marlene yet, ‘was gonna go look for her, if you wanted to join?”
James cast a quick calculated glance at Remus, “Sure, I’ll come along-“ looking around the room he added, “See you guys at Hogwarts, I guess.”
Remus could feel the tension that was lost on the two remaining people in their compartment.
Where is Marlene?
Where is Regulus?
Where is Sirius?