Velvet Bond

When Barty returned he didn't with a light heart, knowing that your best friend was still under there hook was making his mind go crazy.
He had been lucky, it wasn't difficult to deal with a dragon, what it was instead was deal with the craziest of the Black.
He just hoped that everything would turn out fine.

And well-
When Regulus appeared on their front door he almost saw the end, he couldn't even recognize the body.

And after the first moment of shock, everything was only chaos and do, do, do.
He must do this to heal that injury.
He must do that to close that wound.
He has to do these things to adjust his bones.
Do, do, do.

But nothing was working.
Evan was growing impatient, Regulus was losing blood and- well everything else that was in his body.
His breath was shaking, he had a high fever and his body was trembling, Barty didn't see a single space untouched on his skin and-
Honestly?
Barty had never been that good with healing magic. Regulus was the better one of them because he had to treat Sirius wound since a tender age so he started to knew pretty well but he- he didn't- he didn't and his mind wasn't helping him.

"We have to call someone Bart- we have to and you know. He-" Evan's lips trembled and Barty fought hard to not show him how his hands were trembling too.
"He is worse by the minute- he- he won't make it-" and Barty knew that Evan was right.
They weren't brought capable.
But who was?
Who, who, who?
Just one name came in his mind, and he hoped that she would be enough for Regulus, or otherwise he woudl be damned for his incompetence.
It was his fault.
He- he- it was- he just- if he hadn't left Regulus behind- maybe together
Not now.
Not right now.
Because Barty had to think about Regulus first, only then he would bask in his own failures.

"Alright- let's call his cousin-"

"You'll have to tell Regulus he has a big favor. Keep Lucious off the hook was pretty hard." Ten minutes after Narcissa was walking in their house, grimacing at his cousin' body. Barty would not tell this to anyone but he couldn't saw the worry in his eyes, the harsh sigh she took out and her eyes watering.
No one would have believed him, but it was nice to know that at least one in the Black's family cared and worried for his best friend.
"Tell me you didn't do what am I thinking." She said again.

"I don't know what answer are you searching for here, but I'll tell you nothing. Can you save him?" Barty bit out but Narcissa was already working on Regulus' body and didn't care about giving him a response, but he didn't care about hearing one at the same time. He just needed to see Regulus breathe normally again, to see the bones taking their right spots and his skin not so pale.

Only at the end, when his body looked healthier - if someone could look at Regulus and define it like that - she turned towards them, interlocking their gaze.
"You're crazy. And I don't want any part in it."

"You won't. Just keep your mouth shut." Narcissa didn't knwo this but Bartemius was so grateful to her and to her help that if she wanted he would have become his captive for all his life. Regulus was- well- alive. Not safe. Not yet. He didn't woke up once since his return and he had lost a lot of blood and suffered a lot of wounds but- he was strong. He knew that. Regulus must go through it. He must.

"Look at who you're talking to Bartemius." Narcissa bit out, but without her split venom, still watching her cousin with her worried look and Barty felt a weird feeling.

"Will he wake up right?" Evan asked, hugging himself with his arms and Barty just wanted to give him some of the answers he was asking for. Narcissa just watched at them, looking into their eyes, then, as satisfied of what she found, she nodded, biting her lips. Not a real answer, Barty noted. She wasn't sure herself but she was hoping like them.

"Let me know when he's awake. We need to talk."

-------------

May 1975,

Remus woke up scared on the hospital bed, his heartbeat was so high that it could be reaching the stars, and his body was hot and sweaty.
It wasn't the first time after a full moon in which he felt the dread of being a monster but this time it was ten times worse.
And he couldn't remember why.
"J-James?" He tried to say but his mouth was hoarse, his body screamed in pain and in his mind flashed visions of something terrible, and the worst part it was the fact that eh couldn't understand if it was only his mind that was tricking him or if those image were real.

S-Snape?
Oh no. Oh no, no, no. This was bad.

"J-James?" He tried again, feeling a little bit of strength in his voice, waking up the boy who was sleeping on the chair near his bed.

"Remus! Thanks Merlin are you awake! How're feeling bud?" James said, trying to sound joyful but Remus was not a fool, he couldn't see the wrinkle around his eyes, like he didn't sleep, and considering that james and the other passed the night with him it was not so weird, but other than that there was a glint of sorrow and sadness in his gaze.
Remus skin felt hot and cold in the same time.
What happened?
He wanted to ask, he needed to know, his head was hurting and he couldn't remember.

"What- what happened yesterday? Why do I feel like this?"
Sirius wasn't there.
Why Sirius wasn't there?
Something bad must had happened, because Sirius was always there.
The fear was blooming in his chest, why did he remember Snape? What happened? Why Sirius wasn't there? Why James acted so skittish? Why he felt so bad physically and emotionally?

"No- no Rem- please calm down. It's not good for you to move like this, you're not in a good shape- moony had been rough yesterday and your skin is-" Remus could feel a cap around his throat and it was squeezing and tightening more and more, what did he do last night?

"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care! What happened James? Why was Snape there yesterday? What did he see? Where is he now? Am I in trouble? Did I-" kill him? But the words didn't go out from his mouth. He couldn't. No. No he couldn't. He- he didn't. Right?

"No, no, no Rem. Albus is handling all the things and you don't need to worry, everything it's all right-"

"A-Albus? What- James please, what happened?" He was tired, so so so tired, of living a life on the bridge, of being scared of who he was and about what he was, hiding himself, away from the society, in pain, trembling and vomiting, scratching his skin off, without any guarding or memories of what happened before.
Why, why him?
Why did his father- no- it was not fair. Greyback did that.

James closed his eyes, like admitting it out loud was causing him pain and Remus would have snorted at that if he wasn't on the verge of a panic attack. "Snape was there yesterday, you tried to attack him because he started attacking you, I was able to stop and block you, you didn't hurt him, just a bit scared but it's not your fault. Moony were just protecting you and your pack! Okay? Don't start baling yourself. I know that, Albus knows that, we all know that. So please, just please Remus-" Remus closed his eyes because even though James said that, he was already blaming himself.
If he hadn't been suck a monster he would have never needed to attack Snape.
If he hadn't this beast inside him he wouldn't attack anyone.
Yesterday he would have been in his bed, sleeping peacefully, without causing any incident and- he just wanted his mother right now.
"Right now Albus is taking to Snape but everything seems to be okay. The story is closed. Forever."

"Alright-" How? Why Snape was keeping his mouth shut for him? What did they give him? But this was for another time.

"Remus I know what are you thinking, so please stop-" James put a hand on his shoulder, drawing little circles on his skin, maybe to reassure Remus, maybe to reassure himself after that eventful night, he didn't really know but James somehow helped. Because he was still here. He was here. And Remus was not alone, luckily. Because if he found himself in this situation all alone he would probably go crazy.

"And how did he know that we were there? I'm mean it wasn't a common place to go, right? No girl to snog down there, no spells to create, nothing right?" Remus was not a stupid.
Sirius was not there.
Why wouldn't he be there when his best friend got hurt so badly, when Snape was going to publicly out him and when he tried to kill the man?
Because it was his fault even though he still hoped to hear from James that Sirius wasn't involved in that, that Sirius was actually trying to punch Snape in his face and not hiding in their room too caught up with remorse.

Because this was Sirius.
He acted without thinking.
He was fire, rage, burn, he liked to see that he was strong, he was worthy, to cover his injuries, to cover his insecurities.

It had been a hard time for Sirius, his parents wrote to him about his grades and about what it was to come and it was- scaring at most. And then there was even Regulus who find quite funny ignoring his brother. Or they both ignored each other.
So Sirius grow tired and bored and mean each day that passed.
So Remus should have seen that coming, should have talked to him, but he didn't.
And this was why he found himself on that bad, that day, with Albus taking his side and Snape probably saying to everyone that he was the worse thing alive.

"Why James? Who told him?" Remus asked once again, gritting his teeth, hoping to be wrong, to be so so wrong, and if he was he would have asked Sirius for his forgiveness until the end of his day, just be wrong. Just this time.
But what he found in James' gaze wasn't reassuring.
They were empty.
And Remus felt empty too.

"Sirius told Snape-" James admitted and Remus was expecting him to cover for his best friend, to say that it wasn't his fault, that he was not raised in a common family.
But all that came was rage.
And it was weird from James.
It was Sirius who they were talking about.
"I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologise for him but he ruined all of this, he ruined your trust and I want to stay with you in this. Together."
Remus watched him bewildered.
James talking about this about Sirius?

"I don't want to see him anymore." Remus said, this words did a bad thing in is heart but he didn't care.
Sirius betrayed him.
Sirius pushed him in doing one of the worst things alive, the number one of his fears.
He had almost killed a man.
He was going to kill a an if James didn't stop him.
And it was all Sirius fault.
There was no coming back from this.

Sirius broke his trust. He confided to him, he shared his pain with Sirius, he had been vulnerable in front of of him. His fear and his pain, he displayed them to Sirius thinking that it was right, after all they did for him, but he had been able to throw all of that away.

When trust is broken, the impact can be profound and far-reaching. The person who shared the secret may feel exposed, vulnerable, and deeply hurt. And Remus was questioning his judgment, wondering how he could have trusted someone who would betray them.
He felt angry and shameful. Because it was his fault- if only he wasn't like this- if only- he was- a fucking idiot. A stupid.

Remus shook his head too tired to do that right now, why Sirius?
Did you hate us so much?
He closed his eyes, never trust a Black at the end of the day.

"Remus-" he almost jumped away when he felt that voice, the voice that he lulled to sleep at night, that he helped when he had nightmares, telling him stories and secrets, giving him every piece of his heart, every part of him.
Just to be destroyed in an instant, in a moment, in a second.

"Sirius-" James spoke for him and Remus was grateful, because he didn't know if he had the voice, if he could speak to him or if the block in his throat was just too much to handle. "Remus don't want you here right now, you should go."

"Remus I swear- I can explain-" Sirius' voice looked almost frantic, scared and afraid, like a little child who was trying so hard to impress his parents.

"Sirius stop. Go." Remus opened his eyes and tried to intercept his gaze, but he was probably a coward because he couldn't look him into the eyes. He couldn't look at the person he loved into the eyes and say those words. It was too hard.
And Remus life was not just hard as it was?

"Let me just say-" Sirius sounded almost defeated, frustrated, sorry. It seemed reale, true, but what was true for Sirius right now? Without looking into his eyes Remus couldn't say, but even though they shared the same bad at night trying to reassure each other, at the end they still finished like this- so what did he have to do?
"I'm sorry Remus. I'm sorry. And I'll say this until I'll die."
Sirius started to back down, he could feel his light steps towards the door and Remus hid a sob with his hand.
It hurt.
It hurt too much.
"I'll wait for you Remus, until you're ready. I'm here. I'll be here."

Moment of silence until Remus hear the infirmary's door close and James tuned a lullaby for him, trying to get him to sleep a bit.
He couldn't listen to Sirius right now, he wasn't ready.
Will he ever be ready?

For Remus, the pain of betrayal wasn’t just about the secret. It was about losing the one person he thought he could trust more than anyone in the world. And that loss was the heaviest burden of all.

Never trust a Black at the end of the day.

-------------------

Never trust a Black at the end of the day.

Remus glanced outside the window from his bed, slowly waking up from his little nap. It was Christmas Eve and he and Sirius were lazily around in their bed, trying to warm each other, snuggling and kissing from time to time.

Five days.
Five days Remus had been waiting for Regulus Black to appear but there was no trace of him. Strange uhuh? Remus didn't know.
Regulus didn't seem to be lying to him the other day but he also mastered the same face and glacial look that Sirius had when a mission is given to them. They had this way of lying that made them appear so truthful and trustworthy that it was almost scaring to see. He had learned to see the truth being Sirius' words, even more when he started living with the Potters but with Regulus?
Fucking hell, that was completely new.

Sirius kissed his shoulder while he got up with him.
"Your mother is coming tomorrow, right?" The man asked and Remus gave him a kind glance, Sirius was always on the edge when his mother was around, mostly because of the family he was with, he couldn't believe that so many people accepted their relationship and that his mother was actually happy with him.
Remus caressed his long black hair gently.

"Mmh-" Sirius bit his lips and Remus passed a finger on them. "Everything will be okay love. James is waiting for this to happen, Harry's first Christmas it's huge for him."
Sirius chuckled.

"He's too obsessed with this holiday, I swear."

"Hypocrite." Remus mumbled in his hair, knowing perfectly that Sirius cared for it as much as James.

"You're right." Sirius grinned and then he kissed him on the lips.
"Why did you do that? It's eating me inside." His lover asked suddenly and Remus shuddered his eyebrows.

"What?"

"With Albus." Oh. Oh right. "Why did you ask him that? If he's keeping something from us?" For a moment, both men were silent, one focused on the other with an unfaltering gaze, the other staring at nothing in particular, brown eyes dim in the hardly lit room, the snow was falling outside covering everything with his white mantle.

"Well- he's keeping something from us." Remus said at the end, Regulus was able to enter in his head a lot more than what he wanted.

"Yes." Sirius rolled his eyes. "He always does this. He's the mindmaker after everything. Obviously he knows something else." Sirius responded him, looking at him with an eyebrow arched.

"Well- we should know those things too. I mean we're in this like he is- if not more since we always go on the field, so why can't we know too? It'll be easier-" obviously the old man didn't say anything when questioned and this made Remus even angrier.

"You're not wrong though." Sirius admitted, stretching his arms behind his back. "Why are you asking this now?"

"Because" Remus simply said, he always knew that there was something behind them, that Albus knew a lot more but Horcruxes??
It was deep and dark shit, a lot to know and a lot to read, those basically made Voldemort immortal and it would have been nice to know before head.

"There is no 'because' with you Moony. You're too logic for this." Remus rolled his eyes and smiled a little bit because Sirius could read through him like a written book, but he couldn't say anything about Regulus, not now.

"Well- alright. Maybe I'm done to be kept in the dark. I'm tired and we can help better if- if we knew about the prophecy maybe James and Lily- and- it's just-"
Sirius brought his head between his arms and made it lay on his chest, he could hear the bump of Sirius' heart and Remus calmed hearing that.

"I'll try better Rem. No one of you should experiment that again." Sirius whispered on his hair and Remus shook his head.

"It's not you Sirius. Don't ever say this- it's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"I made Peter the life keeper. I-"

"Shut up, not again. Not again." Remus raised his head but Sirius wasn't looking at him, lost in his thoughts as always.

"You shouldn't be babying me, what is right is right-"

"It's not about-"

"I should go help James with the dinner." Sirius got up from the bed and Remus chased him taking his hand lightly.

"You can't go away when we're talking Sirius." Remus huffed, getting up from his bed too.

"It's not going away, it's me being stubborn and you being even more stubborn, we'll only argue if we are going to keep this on, and I don't want to argue when tomorrow is Christmas and your mother will be here. Okay, love?" Sirius managed to give him a smile even though he knew that it was a little bit fake but Remus decided to give up, partly because Sirius was right and when he was convinced about something he couldn't make him change his mind. Only time would change things.

"Alright. See you later?" Remus asked and Sirius gave him a last kiss before going out.

Remus was able to let out a deep breath when suddenly a patronus appeared in front of him, a stag. James' one.
"Lupin, come outside for the thing."
But it was not James voice.
And surely James was not calling him Lupin.
Baby Black was here and he was going to get some answers from him.

"Go out for a smoke lad." He said patting James shoulder and then he whispered to him. "Keep an eye on Sirius for me, okay?" James nodded seriously, with a light smile on his lips and Remus knew he could count on James when needed, even though right now he was not in his best shape.

"Dinner is almost ready." James replied, going in the kitchen and Remus nodded even though james couldn't see him anymore. Remus wondered if james knew that regulus still loved him, if he knew that the boy had his animal as patronus, one of the most significant sign of somebody's love. Probably not.

"Be here in five." He replied quickly, going out and he could see a figure hiding in the shadow, a few houses near the one of the Potters.

"What are you doing, scaring children?" Remus said, pulling out his cigarette.

"Glad you came when you called." Regulus replied dryly, lowering his cloak and Remus almost jumped, fuck-

"Fuck Regulus- are you good?" The last thing he expected was seeing the man covered in purple bruises that seemed hurt so bad, even the minimal movement looked bad and moving right now was something that Regulus shouldn't do.
But Regulus was expressionless, hands languorously tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants as he too looked at Remus, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, only slowly pursing his lips into a straight line.
"Can you stand?" Ha asked then, Regulus' face was so pale that Remus was scared to see him faint right in front of him.

"If I am here." He motioned for a cigarette and Remus gave him one. Maybe not the smartest idea but who he was to say no? He wasn't nor his father (fortunately) neither his friend so-

"I don't know if it's good for you to move right now."

"If I had delayed another day you probably would have passed out first and then unleashed the order believing that I had stolen the precious cloak, so I took a chance and come here." The seriousness in his tone was almost funny but Remus was still concerned about all the purple marks on his body. What the hell caused those? Who caused those? What did Regulus do?

"Did you see a doctor?" Regulus almost smiled but it seemed a loot like a mockery so Remus rolled his eyes.

"What? Are you worried for me? Touching." Regulus took a drag and Remus asked himself why all the Black felt the need to be so fucking dramatic.
"No. I don't exactly have an Euphemia Potter on my side, so I did the best that I could."

What. The. Actual. Fuck? Didn't he treated those?
"So-" Regulus was stretching out his arm, James' cloak in his hands and he took it.

"Thanks. Uh-"

"Alright I'm-" but Remus was not done. Not yet.

"I've done some research. About the horcruxes. It's real? Albus know about this?" Remus asked, taking his hand and Regulus flinched away so hard that he almost felt guilty. He forgot about his injuries.

"Yes it's real. Do you think that this" he indicated his body and the marks on it. "Is auto-inflicted?" Regulus rolled his eyes. So Regulus was retrieving an horcrux? And he managed to do that? Impressive. Remus could painfully admit that he didn't even know where to start to look.
"And obviously Albus knows about this. Even before than me."

"That piece of shit. A little warning could have been nice." Regulus smirked as if he was telling 'see? They are all the same' and Remus wanted to punch his face right now if it wasn't already enough purple and red.

"With Pettingrew's betrayal I think he got even more secretive." Regulus shrugged like he couldn't even complain about it and Remus knew that it was right, Peter betrayals really moved something in the Order, now everyone was under strict watch and they were even more stressed out. Remus sighed.
"I have two out of seven-"

"S-seven?"

"Impressive, right? Wanted to be immortal since the end of the world that piece of shit." Regulus mumbled and Remus almost snorted rolling his eyes.
"So- if you want to help so badly- discover what Dumbledore knows. With mine and his knowledge everything would be easier." Regulus point at his chest, probably at his broken bones. "Or that's what I hope" he heard him mumble.

Remus pondered a bit about it.
He could do it.
"Why don't you join the Order? They'll accept you."

Regulus laughed. A fake, iced and scaring laugh.
"They'll torture me until the end of my days, Lupin."
No. No they wouldn't. If Regulus showed that he was with them, that he retrieved two horcruxes- they would have accepted him. No torture involved.

"I think that-"

"I'm on my own Remus. And is good like this. I can go in and out as I please. My day as a death eater are not finished yet. I can be useful for more." Remus winched when he heard about him being in the death eaters and he asked himself if he was not doing the wrong thing believing Regulus. But- something. Something told him that he was right.

"Not even for James?" The silence between them was huge, the snow slowly falling around them, Regulus' hands slightly trembling for the cold and the pain probably.

"I don't know if you are aware but our departure wasn't very nice." Regulus gritted out, Remus could see his teeth screeching and maybe he shouldn't pry anymore, but he was Remus Lupin so obviously he needed to say his thoughts.

"Yeah- you know I gathered that, but-" Remus said, Regulus watched expectantly casting a glance towards his direction with his peripheral vision, biting his lips and Remus knew he had to dose his next word, or probably he would lose an alley, the only one who was willing to give him some answers about Voldemort.
"Maybe- he was wrong. We all were."

Regulus huffed, a little smile forming on his lips, as to mock him. "Lupin- I'm not the good one in this story, I'll-" the boy took a deep breath. "I'll destroy the whole word for that child. For all of them. Draco. Luna. They don't deserve all of this shit."

"It's enough Regulus." And Regulus stopped, his eyes wide open like he didn't expect to be stopped. "And it'll be enough even for James." Remus didn't want to pry but he did see their eyes, he did see the sparkle in Regulus eyes when he talked about James, the hope they had when Remus suggested that forgiveness would have been waiting for him at the very end. And James looked more lively and free when he was with Regulus.

Regulus closed his eyes like he was seeing the opportunity but he was too afraid to keep it in his hands, to grab that sparkle on hope with his finger.
"He's better off with Lily. She's rightful and caring, I'm cold and unlovable, do the math. She's better and even a lovable mother- I can't even touch a child."

Remus was momentarily at a loss for words, and Regulus too paused inexplicably after saying it. A slightly odd atmosphere lingered between them.

Wait.
Oh- well.
This was a fucking joke-
Regulus didn't know that Lily and James broke up like months ago?
But again- how could he know? At the end of the day James and Lily did everything together, even a child. This was completely different-

"Wait Regulus-"

"I don't want to hear another thing from you about this-" his voice was cold and serious and Remus stopped in front of that, and maybe it was right. James and Regulus had to resolve their things internally. It was not his secret to share.

"Alright, sorry-"

"Then I'll take off-" but his phrase was interrupted by two big arms that wrapped Regulus' tiny body very easily, his body completely froze but Remus already knew that this would be happen, we were talking about Regulus Black and they weren't even friend, but Remus had to do this.
Sirius was not here, - and ti was better or they would have insulted each other in the mean time - but Remus knew that he would have liked to do this, to hug his little brother after so many years.

"Merry Christmas Regulus and thank you-" his voice sounded almost cracked but Regulus saved James, Lily, Harry and him in the span of a month so it was the only right thing to do. "Take care for yourself."

At the very end he could hear Regulus' arm wrap his back lightly and tentatively as if he really didn't know what to do with himself and Remus smiled slightly.
They departed slowly, as if Regulus didn't want to go but at the same time did.
Understand that man was nearly impossible.

"Don't say this to anyone-" Regulus said. "James is a really bad influence if you have started to hug strangers on the street" he muttered at the end and Remus smiled widely, maybe it was James or maybe he simply grow up from the little guy that entered Hogwarts scared and angry with the whole world.

"See you soon Regulus, if I discover anything expect a patronus from me." The boy waved him a greeting with his hand, and then slowly, almost painfully started to head toward the direction he came.
Obtaining the second horcrux almost costed Regulus' life so he didn't want to imagine whatever could expect them in the future, but today it was a good day and he didn't want to ruin the festivities of tomorrow, so soon he'll think about how to retrieve them but not today.

Remus posed the cloak near the entrance, nobody would have questioned why it was there, not with all the chaos in the house, Harry crying, James fretting, Euphemia cooking, the only normal person in there was probably Monty, reading peacefully his journal.
He entered the kitchen to take a glass of water, still thinking about his meeting with Regulus, did Harry have so much influence on him?

"I can't believe you! Are you betraying Sirius?! I've seen you all giggly over that man out there! In his own house- Remus I can't believe you of all people!"
Giggly? He?Over Regulus??!

Remus stopped moving. He slowly lifted his eyes to the new figure.
"What?"

------------------

Regulus was walking away, he didn't have any strength left in his body to disappear so he decided to call the night bus and wait till home. The ache in his bones was a pain in the ass, everything was hurting him and even the only thought of breathing was giving him chills of pain.
He huffed rolling his eyes.
Regulus hated to feel like this, he wanted to be freer but he was just constricted in his own body.

"Who are you?" Regulus heard that voice and his body froze.
He knew that voice.
He had dreamed that voice almost every night.

James.
James had found him, it was a matter of time but Regulus didn't know it would be this early.

"Hi James." Regulus said, a small grin on his face.