Velvet Bond

"We should plan an attack." Bellatrix said, with her usual grin on her face.
They were once again in current Voldemorts bedroom and Regulus could not contain a little pride every time he looked at the man unconscious on the bed.
He did a really good job.
"A month has passed since-" she stopped abruptly and her husband went on for her.

"-Since what happened to our Lord and we didn't do anything at all. The Order is becoming more and more comfortable and it's not good." Rabastan said and Regulus rolled his eyes, the man couldn't plot anything intelligent enough against the Order even if his own life depended on it.

"Maybe that's not a bad thing. We can push them into a false sense of security and then attack when the moment is right, which is when Our Lord'll wake up." Regulus said, his mind plotting, he had enough things on his plate without having to plan an attack against the Order, and for what?

"Right know we don't know if he'll wake up, so I don't think that it's good to wait so long. And this is partially your fault, you're not working hard enough, I didn't see you once since I ordered you to heal him and Our Lord should be your priority." Rabastan continued and he gritted his teeth, fuck- he didn't think hard enough. It was real that he didn't pay enough attention, not when he wanted to put on a good image for them to believe him.

"I just have been busy with my new title, but I'm always helping with his recovery."

"Oh- for real?" Bellatrix smiled at him and there was nothing good in that smile. It was harsh and calculated, she was testing the waters and his cousing had always been intelligent enough to sniff a lie from miles away. She was still a Black at the end of the day.

Evan stiffened around him and Barty was able to get near him with elegance, making a good shield for him.
The tension in the air was- a lot, but he didn't want to lose all the things they gained for his cousin' doing.

"He's consulting the Black library. I can't since I'm not the heir and I don't know where to find the things we need. But I think that this is why he's not around here a lot." Snape said instead and regulus rolled his eyes.
Okay- he had been nice- like he resolved their current problem with his cousin but fuck- he didn't wanted to have anything to do with him.
Now he had to reciprocate.

Bellatrix looked at him, as if she was able to pull the lies through them with her gaze and Regulus huffed in annoyance.
They were playing the same game and he was not going to lose, he had to much at stake.

"If you asked me directly I would have said the same thing, dearest cousin." She smiled at him and Regulus could heard her say something like: we'll see if you'll be enough able.

"It doesn't matter if you're looking for a cure or not, just the fact that I see no improvements in his condition." Rosier Sr. said and Evan stiffened again near him.

"It's not as easy as you think." Snape said and he liked the hear the edge on his voice. He was as proud as he was at school. "He's like in a force slumber, I think that his body is doing most of the work for us, his soul is regenerating himself and no potion will do good or help right now."
Regulus didn't know if Snape reached this conclusion by himself or because he already knew about the Horcruxes, but it made a lot of sense, he didn't need a lot of healing potions if his body was still present in those fucking things he created.

"Bullshit. No one can heal himself on a death bed. I think that you're not as good as you think." Rabastan snapped back, but it was more direct at him and not at Snape.

"Maybe" Snape said almost rolling his eyes and the silence fell on the room.
He was not wrong though.
They weren't healers.
They were good with potions but it wasn't enough.

"Maybe we should search for a healer. Someone who is capable enough to at least understand what the fuck is wrong with him."

"No other people involved." Lucius said and Rabastan arched an eyebrow towards him.

"There'll be no people involved if we kill the healer right after."

"An accident, like always."

"The healer must not be important, maybe someone retired. We can't make people assume that Our Lord is sick and if a healer disappears everyone could reach to that conclusion. None of us is so important to even kidnap a healer to heal us. Only Our Lord is." They all nodded.
Regulus was not happy but a healer was needed there, and- well Bellatrix knew what she was talking about.

"I know a name." Rabastan said, but his mischievous grin was making Regulus think that it was nothing good. Fucking Rabastan and his need to always fight with him.
"Someone with a big heart and the need to save the poor kitten ostracized."

And-
Oh-
Oh no.

Not her.

"Euphemism Potter. She had been the best healer since she started her apprenticeship. But I don't want to upset the little Lord here, she was the one who brought in the escaped one."
Ha felt the need to punch him.
To make him bleed with his bare fists.
No magic, no wand, no powers, just- just a good fucking punch to eliminate that fucking grin from his face.

"No upsetting done." Regulus said, he felt the gaze of half of the room on his figure, the fact that Evan was practically vibrating against his side, that Bellatrix was studying him and Narcissa rolling her eyes made him feel almost trapped.
But fuck it.
"I don't care about who she saved and what heart she had, these are pretty useless information, but with you Rabastan everything always is. Useless." Regulus had been capable to say, his tone almost bored, because he fucking was.
He was tired and bored of saving everyone else asses off.
He needed a distraction.

"You son of-"

"Uhuh - stay there Fido I'm not finished-" Regulus whistled like he was talking to a dog and Barty snorted.
"I just want to explain why your idea is wrong." He started getting near Rabastan, hoping to rile him up enough.
"First. Euphemia Potter. As you said she was the most talented healer- so- everyone knows her. Second. She's Fleamont Potter's wife, left or right hand of Albus Silente. Do you really think that they'll let it slide? The kidnapping and murdering his other half? No. They'll came here, searching revenge and then-" he waved his hands in the air. "Third. Their house is where most Order's meeting are held so the security will be a lot. Do I need to continue? No- I don't think so. I didn't think you were this stupid Rab-" but he couldn't finish this sentence that he found a fist on his face.

Bingo!.
But fucking hell it hurt.

"You must learn to keep your mouth shut, Regulus." Rabastan said when he tried to give him another punch. "Just because you're the lord now, doesn't meant that you can do whatever you want-"

"Oh- but I actually can-" Regulus smiled, blood coming out from his split lip, and he tried to keep down a laugh that wanted so bad to escape.

"Woah- man- keep calm- with you we can't even talk-"

"Rabastan fucking hell are you out of your mind?" Evan said, keeping the man out of reach and regulus winked at them.

"It's better if we let slide this idea."

"Yeah- I mean- we aren't even capable of going figures choosing someone important enough to not kill our Lord."

"Really, I didn't believe you were like this-"

"You should behave."

"Or someone should make you behave." Regulus looked right at his cousin, she wanted to make him the bad guy? First she had to think about her husband.

"Let's- let's go on okay? We can talk about this another time. Can you do something else?" Narcissa pointed at Snape and he was ready to nod.

"We can try something else, yeah." He said with his usual cadence but he was looking right at him. Ops. Okay. He'll behave too. He'll help himself just to make them calm down and let slide the idea of kidnapping Euphemia Potter.
He just hoped that Bellatrix really went on and didn't do anything with her own had, she was too unpredictable.

"Let's go home, we'll talk about this later." Barty said and the all nodded to him, but he didn't forget to put a track on Bellatrix and Rabastan side, just in case.
Even though he was sure it was not just in case.
With them it was possible that everything would fall miserably down, down, down.
Fucking idiots.

-------------------

May 1977,

Regulus was like floating.
His body was not following his mind, responding differently every time James touched his body. It was like flying without a broom. It was like doing magic without a wand. Something that he thought it would be impossible but here they were.

He kissed James Potter.
And James Potter kissed him.
Voluntarily.
Without feeling any disgust toward him, without criticizing his choices, his being, his- his everything.
He felt good and accepted for the first time in his life.
He felt alive.
Alive like- like- fuck he never felt like this.
It was so good that he could cry of joy.

He was constantly kissing him, every time they saw each other they could not keep their hands off each other.
It was wrong?
Sure.
His parent would kill him on the spot if they knew that their son was-
Yeah- never mind. He was trying to get the better of it while he still could.

But he should've know better.

That anything good in his life wasn't going to last.
That he was not good enough for James Potter to choose him.

So when that day, going out from his dorm, saw James coming with Lily Evans- he already knew. That something went horribly wrong and that probably James played with his heart.

His heart crashed, his reality came back, he felt his world crumbling down.
He had been a fucking joke to him.
He would never choose someone like him.
A- a faggot.
He was only a fucking faggot and James took fun of him.
Obviously he took fun of him.
He was just a fucking joke, a disgrace.

He wanted to run so bad but he had been so taken aback that he couldn't.
He waited them in his own common room.
He greeted them in his home.
While they crushed his heart badly he made them came through the door, invading his last safe place, his dorm, his friend's house, the only last thing that was his.

He made a step back.
"Regulus"
But he couldn't watch him, he couldn't watch them.
He should have know better, it was a game for them, Lily wanted to take revenge for- for everything bad that the Purebloods were doing to her people and James Potter obviously had to help her. He was the lawyer of lost causes.
So they schemed, they discovered his secret, -well he had many of them but being gay was the most important one-, fuck,fuck,fuck and he failed at their antics like a fucking toddler who needed love and care.

He couldn't breathe.
He failed from them.

He couldn't breathe.
He had been such a fool

He- he didn't want to breathe.
He could finish his life- now!

"Regulus"
He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't.

Regulus just wanted to disappear.
Regulus learned how to control his heartbeat from when he was like twelve or thirteen. The techniques consist of breathing in patterns to lower his heartbeat to a specific rate. But right now, it’s frantic, pounding heavily against his ribcage and threatening to fall out.

"Regulus please, it's not what you think. We need to talk about something. But it's not bad. I swear love, please, look at me."
James, James, James, oh James.

Regulus turned his head and looked at James, the boy had been able to find the only light spot of the room, usually so dark. The sun was kissing his curls and he wanted to crumble in his arm and believe that this was a mistake.
That he did not just betrayed what they had.
What he felt for him.
"Regulus, please," he said, voice too loud for his ears, but somehow small, like he was trying to not scare him more than that, like he was trying to break through his shell, to reach his heart, his soul.
"Please, believe me, I'm here not to hurt you. I would never hurt you, honey."

Regulus looked right back, expression open and vulnerable and scared and so so fucking trusting. Jumping off a roof looked more attractive by the second.
Or- or his mother's torture.
Everything but this.

"What?" He whispered, like a scary child but it had been enough for James who smiled nicely at him.

"We talked about- well in general and also regarding you." Regulus took a deep breath and James probably braced himself for the impact.

"You- you said to- to her about- me being- being- like-"

"No! Or- yes! But- no wait! It's okay! Everything is! I swear! Lily is safe" James said, the girl doing a big smile at him and he shrugged his eyebrows, but Regulus did calm down a bit.
"Lily knows that I'm bisexual, and- well- obviously you are something like this too, since we're together. But she already knows other gay people, so- I mean- Gryffindors are- more open than- yeah- I mean I don't want to put it like a house thing, because it's not, but we are a little more open than Slytherins like everything else- and- Oh Merlin- please I just have to shut the fuck up- I'm being ridiculous."

James rumbling always helped him get his thoughts on line.
His mumbling made him stay on heart and see things clearly. So thanks to that he didn't miss the phrase 'we're together', Regulus didn't know that, he was together James Potter. Were they boyfriends?
Good he need a day just to process that he was probably going out with the golden boy of Hogwarts that James was already spiraling away and telling him a lot of other things that he was finding hard to follow.

He just knew that he was confused.

They were not her to make fun of him.
He understood that.
So his heart calmed down a bit and could regain a bit of control.
But- why was Lily here?
What the hell?

"A-a-and? You're not going to give me any problems?"

Lily laughed and she put a hand on James' arm, stopping him from his rumbling and he found a pang of jealousy coming from that.
What the hell?
"No, no, no Reg, we're not here for that. We hope- well- you need to listen to us for a little."

He was getting scared.
He didn't understand.
"Well, I heard- I mean- I've coming to face this kind of reality about- uh- people who- uh- decided to be in a relationship with other people."
Regulus arched an eyebrow.

"A-alright?"

"People. Plural. Uh- with consent and everything else- you know- you like- not only one person- but maybe two? Or more- but right now there are two- I mean not you- you- or well maybe you- but us?" She pointed at herself and James.

"Lily sorry but what the hell are you talking about?"

"We talked Regulus. About me dating you. And about me liking you. But not only you. I like Lily. I like both of you. I can't choose. You're one of the most important person in my life, you keep me on the ground, you make me think and choose for my future. Regulus you make me laugh like nobody else, feel like nobody else and Lily make me believe in myself, get the courage I need for everything. And- and- right now I can't lose or choose one of you."

Regulus was speechless.
He thought he would get angry about it but- he felt at peace. james just said something beautiful- he just said that he was like- one of the most important person in his life, something had to matter right?

"And- and I said something similar to him. Like you- you are so witty and smart and I like so much to be with you,m but James makes me feel loved like- like no one else. He had a heart so big and at the end I fell for it. Like you."

"We-we want to try this- if you're- if you agree. Me, you and Lily. All three of us."

For Regulus it was a lot.
It was a lot to think about something like this.
He was a jealous person could he share James?
He loved lily, obviously he loved Lily, he started to know her and he liked what he found, but this much?

But at the end he didn't want to- to lose this.
He didn't want James to get over him.
And- as he said- he loved Lily. She was smart, capable, thoughtful- everything that James wasn't. He could-
Could he think about having a relationship with her?

"But we don't ask you to decide right now. Everything- I mean- it's okay. Don't feel obligated towards me or- or. Take your time. I know that maybe- maybe we're being irrational and- I don't know- just-" Lily started to say and his gaze stopped on her, on her soft red lips, on her red brilliant hair, on her soft curves, not like James. She seemed so lovely right now. He blushed and coughed at the mere thought.
Maybe? Maybe-

"We- just want you to know that we'll wait for you, for your decision and everything will be alright with us. Okay reg? There is no right or wrong answer, don't think too much about it just- we want your wellbeing most."

And right now his head sounded only like: I want to kiss you. I am not willing to lose you. I think about it with you. I don't want you to get over me. I can do it. For you. I can do it. I love you, i love you. I love you. You were the first people to teach me that love wasn't always made by pain, that I could be loved too, that I'm not a monster.

But how could he ever prepare for a sentence like this?
Half of Regulus' life consisted of words, phrases, and sentences that haunted him. Few of them had started out as good and most of them had turned into something that cut him open later, that his parents used against him later.
There was no way this wouldn't come back to haunt him at some point.

It never worked out for people like him.

Never.

"We don't need you to say anything tonight. I'll wait, but we want you to know where we stand," James said, confirming that he had to be a fucking pipe dream, because Regulus actually believed him. They had proven time and time again that they both respected his boundaries.
Whenever Regulus hadn't even been able to talk about something, James had waited. And waited. And waited again.
They stayed nights and days in silence, waiting for him to go out of his shell.
James and Lily.
They searched for him.
They looked for him.
They became a presence for him like Dorcas, Pandora, Barty and Evan.
So why not?

"Shit," Regulus said after a minute of silence, half a laugh wrapped around the word. His body language had changed, back to relaxed limbs and open expression.
Nothing like when they firstly came through the door.
He just couldn't believe it.
With James- with James and Lily he was going to do something he never ever imagined even in his wildest dreams.

Because even though he would think about it, even though he would give them his answer later, he knew that he was already tied at them.
At the both of them.

He took a cigarette from his pocket and started smoking, looks were exchanged between them and no one wanted to ruin the calm atmosphere around them.
"Fuck- I must really like you two." He muttered to himself while the smoke reached his lungs and he closed his eyes, avoiding to see the smudge grin that took place on Lily's face.

"Why is that?" She asked, looking almost innocent.
That bastard.
With a cigarette between his pointer and index finger Regulus looked at them, a scowl on his face, while he tried to sound annoyed and not absolutely freaked out by that situation. He was collected and- well fuck everything.

"Because I'm really going to think about it, and it's already a miracle. Now go away. Let me smoke in peace." They smiled at him and that was already a win for him.

-------------------

Regulus woke up feeling bad and seeing Evan and Barty making out on their sofa didn't make things any better. He felt the dream took on him a little too much and he- he just felt alone.
So fucking alone.
He had been for a lot of time.

He absolutely loved Evan and Barty and he loved the fact that they were making out of their sofa without being afraid or scared about prejudice but- but sometimes he missed so much James and Lily.
He missed those months, too short but so alive.
And this day- this day was a little worse.

So Regulus decided to be productive and spend the day in London, researching for a good book about Horcruxes -hard to find, almost impossible-, going to the Gringott to understand a bit about their security -if they want to get whatever Bellatrix had put inside the chamber- and do some chores he didn't do in the past month, -when he was bedridden after Voldemort's attack, busy with Orion and Lupin and then Bellatrix and his fucking plan on kidnapping Euphemia Potter.-

It passed a week, December already started and Bellatrix didn't do anything, still, so- well he could only hope she forgot about that but with the way he was feeling today and the fact that he knew a bit about his cousin it was really unlikely.

He just oped not today.
Just not today.
He was tired and- tired.
So today he didn't want to save the world, or the other of the love of your life but he just wanted to go an out and lose his mind a bit.

"I'm going out, wish me good luck!" He mumbled, his voice bored and annoyed at the two man that were taking their clothes off on the sofa.

"Why? Are you perhaps going to snog the Potter boy? Good luck, lad!"

"You wish" he mumbled closing the door but he could swear he heard Barty say something like: i'm already taking off the clothes form my boyfriend, it's you who's not, and he wanted to say something but- fuck it he was right.

"Oh and- Can't you fucking go in your room?" He screamed from the outside, but the walls were think enough that they would surely have heard him.
And they just laughed.
Dickhead.
But he smiled to himself nonetheless, because he was happy they were enjoying themselves, they meant everything to him.

Regulus appeared with a loud plop at Hogsmade and he wasn't ready for what he found there.
A lot of people.
He took out the pack of cigarettes and started smoking, trying to calm down his nerves. He could have imagined it, it was December and someone liked too much to celebrate Christmas to stay at home and do nothing for it.
Kids were smiling with their parent, asking that or the other and he found himself almost smiling at their laughs.
See? He was not a completely monster.
He wanted to call Sirius so bad and show that even he could enjoy that atmosphere, but he rethought about that, feeling so stupid to think of a person who had now forgotten him.

Regulus, with a look of indifference, took another puff from the cigarette, looking out, seeing how people started to get worried for Christmas's gift for their baby, loved one, families. He hated Christmas.
Or well- he couldn't hate something he never had the chance to celebrate.

Red, yellow and green lights were put on the shops, and the winged ice was feeling too much like snow, soon, Regulus thought, soon he would see the first snow of the year. And he didn't think how well James looked with soft flakes on his hair, how Harry would laugh to see them for the first time in his life, how much he was loved, how many gifts he was going to receive from his stupid brother and his stupider father and- and-

He shook his head when he felt his eyes watering.
This was not the time.
He didn't need that.
And if he was going to die without knowing what Christmas was, or without tasting Effie's sweet biscuit recipe, or- or around a fucking green tree, it didn't matter.
It- it didn't-

It didn't.

"Let's see what we got here"
With a huff he entered the first shop, searching for a fucking book who talked about Horcruxes or how to destroy them. They had one, maybe two in two weeks, but they couldn't just collect them and keep them there. They were so dark that the house felt a lot worse those days. They needed to get rid of them.

Just how?

He tried to ask to the diary but- nothing came out of it, instead Riddle always tried to gain something from him- well from Dora- and Regulus couldn't quite understand yet what it was.
And then there was the thing with the girl, Mirtilla Warren, and her death and the fact that Hagrid did not kill that girl.

It was so out of character.
Firstly, James liked Hagrid. A lot. And James was a good judge of character.
Well- not very good if he liked you.
But anyway. Everyone could make mistakes.
Second there was the fact that the man who saved or better discovered the culprit was a fucking psychopath mass murder, so Regulus was inclined to think that Tom Riddle was more important in the story than everyone thought.
It just clicked- alright?
Everything was leading at him and- and what?

With nothing in his hands he found the exit once again, he didn't expect to find anything but well- he hoped that.
He met the cold air and he felt a light chill through his skin, almost comfortable.
It meant he was still alive, that he still felt something.

But when the cold chills did not stop there and seemed to take almost control over his body he started to get worried.
What the hell?
He was shaking so fucking much that he could barely keep his teeth from clenching and no warm spell was able to reduce the trembling that took over his body.

What the hell? Am I dying? Like this? For the cold? What?
"H-help-" he tried to say but who would help him? Probably no one.

He looked around, he needed to find a shelter, to call Barty or Evan he- he- and then he found him.

Green wide eyes who watched right at him.

His heart skipped a a beat.

Harry.

His Harry.

Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry.

His. His. His.

His. His. His.

And just light that, Harry laughed.
Regulus took a step forward, Harry was held by lily who was laughing with James who had a lot of packs in his hands and- Sirius.
All of his heart was there.
All the people that mattered the most for him were there.
Harry, Lily, James, Sirius.

"Harry" he murmured and the kid giggled in his mother arms and he heard Lily's laugh and then James lovely voice. Sirius smiled, wrinkle around his eyes and he was so glad that his brother had been able to get out of their house and live another life.
A life in which he could have those kind of wrinkles around his eyes.

"Harry"
His hand was trembling and when he tried to stop it with force he found the red line that they shared glowing, an unnatural color. He watched the red string till Harry and a little laugh escaped even from his mouth.

Where before there was cold, now there was only a bubble of warmth radiating from him and spreading throughout his body.
Harry kept looking at him, and now the other three people with him had also paused to look at the child with a mixture of wonder and amazement.
Harry.
His Harry was laughing and smiling at him.
Because of him.

Regulus had to touch him, hold him, scramble him.
He was his, his, his.
And he didn't know if it was their bond talking or something deeper, intrinsic, but he knew Harry needed him. That the warmth would only be completed near the child Regulus so wanted to protect so bad.

He took a step forward, focused on his goal, little did he care if he was cast out, cursed, taken to the Order by his family.
His thoughts were fixed on Harry, Harry, Harry.

But, as soon as he took the second step, the world seemed to turn upside down, the trail he had left on Bellatrix had started to throw signals at him, and as he collapsed on the cold floor, too shaken by all the emotions he was feeling, the last thing he heard before fading into darkness was the laugh of a child.

He needed to protect Harry's granny, the mother of his loved one and the pillar of that family.

"Fucking Bellatrix." He muttered to himself.
"You're going to pay for this."