Velvet Bond

March, 1976

Lily had started to follow Regulus around.
He didn't think he would ever see this day, but she transformed in James potter part. two and right now he couldn't support not even one of them. She even tried to sneak up on him and he really, really was done for it.
Well- she was just worried about him because he started to avoid her, and she was nice and caring and he felt almost touched by that but his mind was being funny and his mood was at the lowest and right now he wanted to cry in his bed but he couldn't so he just had to keep going on and on and study, study, study to get his grades up, to surpass Barty, to be the best of all of them, to make his parents proud.

He was tired? No. Not at all.
He was so fucking tired? Absolutely no.
Stop asking, stop thinking, stop- just stop, stop, stop, stop.

He was fine.
He could go on.

He put his head between his hands and he dropped on his knees.
"I'm fine, fine, fine, fine. Everything is okay." So why? Why he felt the urge to cry? Why he felt the tears sting in his eyes, why he felt so empty and-

"No you're not. And the day you'll actually admit it the world would fucking glow" Lily was watching his figure from above, her gaze steady and firm on his figure and he felt a shiver running along his back.

Fuck- not now. He cursed under his breath, talking to Lily was fantastic because she was a smart and witty girl, but precisely because she was a smart and witty girl he found it also excruciating. It was nearly impossible hide something to her.

"No, it would not because at the world don't fucking care about me." He said rolling his eyes, he could feel the start of a headache blooming behind his eyes.

"Don't be always so pessimist, tough boy."

"Being pessimist it's my better quality, Lily. So no thank you"

"I could think of something else that would fit better as a quality." She smiled at him but he couldn't see that it was a bit fake. Wonderful, even Lily couldn't stand him right now.

"Then you would be lying."

"No, it's you who can't see your value" ha snorted because he could make her an alphabetical list about why he was so useless.
But he didn't have the strength to do that.
He didn't even have the strength to talk.
It was even hard to breathe sometimes and he was almost scared that he would forget how to breathe properly.

"Why are you here, Lily?" He sighed, passing a hand on his face.

"Because you're avoiding me" she said and Regulus arched an eyebrow, why Lily Evan was interested in him? They were friends- yeah- but nothing more.
She should be glad that he was so busy with his studies to not care for her.
But-
Why his chest became hot when he saw her look?
"And mostly because I'm worried."
And he felt a light blush on his cheeks.
She was worried for him?

"And you didn't ask yourself why would I avoid you?"

"Nope. So I'm here to ask you, Regulus."

"The answer is easy, I'm not avoiding you. I'm just busy."

"Yeah, I've seen. You're busy studying your brain out? Skipping meals and sleep? I thought you were smarter than that."

"I'm not-" he rolled his eyes. "Owls are near Lily, you must know that. Even you would be busy."

"And here I think that it's not the main reason. Regulus you're studying for the test since September, you're not behind."

"I am. Question closed. Move I gotta go in." He pointed his hand on the grass, trying to get up, but he didn't find enough strength to pull himself up.

"I don't think I will." Lily crossed her arms and he rolled his eyes. She could be right but he wouldn't admit that to her and, most importantly, he really was going to study.

"Lily-"

"Regulus." She huffed under her breath and he rolled his eyes.

"I'll ask nicely. Can you move out of my way? I can't lose time I need-"

"I understand Regulus. I heard you before. I know. You have to study boo-hoo. Boring." Regulus gritted his teeth.

"So let me go!"

"I can't! Not when you're so stressed that your hands keep trembling even though you're not even holding anything, not when the skin on your face is paler than Moaning Myrtle's one! And she's fucking dead!" She pointed out and he felt getting smaller under her strict gaze. "Your eyes are fucking bloodshot. Did you look at yourself in the mirror this morning?"

"I-I-" Regulus started, finally getting up from the floor but it hadn't been a good idea, his head started spinning around and he suppressed a groan.
No he didn't watch himself in the mirror that morning. Or the others as well.
Fuck- should he start to conceal his skin to cover those things up? If Lily noticed his professor would notice too and he couldn't be-
"I'm fine, Lily." He passed a hand on his head, trying to fix his hair and some lights danced in front of him, he trembled a bit and Lily was able to catch his arm and steady him.

Fuck it was so embarrassing.
Lily gave him a skeptical look but she didn't say anything about that.
Thank Merlin she knew him.

"Regulus, you're more prepared than a fucking professor. Why are you doing this? You don't need to pull yourself like this."
Regulus gulped under his robes, but he didn't let Lily go.
Instead he leaned on her shoulder, she slid on the grass and he followed her gladly to sit a bit, he found himself without strength all of sudden and he wanted to be cuddled a bit in her warm embrace.
"I'm so worried about you Reg. You- you don't even seem to appreciate the little things anymore, so worried about everything else. I- I liked when-" she smiled. "Well- when we fight at potions to have the first place, and- and you were almost happy. You found that amusing. I know that. But now- now you don't even held you heard straight."

He closed his eyes, beaming at her hands that started stroking his curls.

"It's-" his voice was trembling. "I got- well- I didn't receive the- a good grade in the last test. Transfiguration has always been a pain in the ass for me. And this time- it wasn't even too bad but my- my parents- I don't-" The lump in his throat was blocking his words. "I don't know how- but they were informed of it and-" he pull out the letter from his pocket, he had always that letter with him, to remember that he had to do good, to be the best, to do more and more because he didn't want to let them down.

He had to do this.

He had to be perfect.

Because if he was perfect they would let Sirius live with the Potters and maybe- maybe they would finally be able love him. Or be proud of him.

He would earn that.
Their love.
He would- he would succeed.
He was going to be the perfect son.
And a perfect son didn't falter, a perfect son didn't get anxious, didn't fail his test-

And then he would earn their recognition.

Lily read the letter, his big green eyes gazing the words and becoming darker and darker as she went on reading.
"But! This is so much bullshit! They're despicable person! I hate them- fuck I hate them so much! They couldn't treat you like this! We are very disappointed" she started reading out loud and he lowered his gaze, embarrassed by his failure.
"Your father and I didn't want to believe to have such a stupid child but here we go once again, Regulus, what the hell is this?" But he couldn't look at her.
She was perfect.
She was smart.
She was brilliant.
She never, never, never failed a test probably.

"It's the truth, Evans. And now I- I've lost so much time. I need to study. I need to-"

"No, you're staying here. I'm not finished."

"Please Lily, Please, you have to let me do my job."

"This is not a job, this is not your job"

"No. This is all I have to make them proud."

"You shouldn't make them proud, they should be proud of you nonetheless. You're the best in your year, maybe in all of the school."

"Don't- don't say this to me. Don't be so cruel. Sirius is better. Sirius is better even when he's not even trying to do it- he's the better so-" he stopped himself.
Because Sirius wasn't anymore with them, but even when he was so far away, even when he was a traitor he would be better than him.
Lily eyed him, a sadness took over and he didn't want her pity.
He didn't need her pity.
He just needed to study.

She hug him again and he slumped against her chest.
One minute. Just another minute. And then he would return to his studies.

"They don't deserve you. Regulus I'll tell you this until the end of our days. You're better than them."

He couldn't respond because no, no he wasn't.

And less than a year later even Lily was going to believe this.

------------------

That night the moon smiled on the three boys who reached the shade of the trees without detecting any problems. The forest was pervaded by the crunching of tree branches, laden with the first fresh snow of the season.
Regulus, Barty and Evan lowered their hoods, observing the structure that had been their home for seven long years, place in which they grow up and felt sadness, stress, anxiety, love and friendship.

"I didn't think we would come back like this." Barty whispered in the air, a low sound among the trees and the air. Regulus gazed the structure asking if Dumbledore was seeing them right now or if he was too busy deciding the fate of his soldiers.

"What do you mean like this? Hiding like thieves about to climb a secret room?" Evan interjected, a small smile on his lips. Regulus didn't point it out but he saw him stretching out his hand and Barty taking it gladly.

Regulus looked out at the sky, they probably were remembering their first time, their first date, their first meet, and eh knew this because he was remembering too.
His first time with James, the books he shared with Lily, the few times he was able to laugh, to feel like a real person, to be like himself, to both feel the burden of his name, the gaze of his parents.
To be loved.
And with love came the heartbreak.
Strong like a tidal wave, destructive, massive and absolutely devastating.

Regulus coughed, blinking quickly to chase away the moisture that was pooling at his eyes' sides.

"Mmh- maybe" Barty said thoughtfully. "But also with a target on our heads, a betrayal behind us, and a guillotine over our heads." His friend grinned and Regulus rolled his eyes. No one should smile with a background like theirs, yet Barty was there, fearless, Regulus didn't know if he was really stupid or really certain of their abilities.

"It feels like we're back to the good old days." Regulus muttered, his mind racing.

"We should go before the old guy find us."
And with that they entered the school, their presence unnoticed, Regulus had to say that there was not a strong surveillance.

They went straight to their old potion' teacher, they already knew were he lived off in the castle, it was not that difficult to discover when one was a sexually repressed and bored teenager with nothing else to do if not brooding about life and all that shit.
And regulus was not talking about himself.
Not at all.
He was just an observer, he like to keep everything under control because he felt the power over it, he hated surprises because usually they were all bad, so he analyzed and analyzed again, at the end it became like a game for him, almost funny.

Their steps slid unwound and silent on the rich marble of the school, the light of the moon entering from the big windows was the only source of lights they had that night, and was enough.
"When he sees you, he'll faint, I bet five gallons." Barty smiled widely and Regulus rolled his eyes once again.

"Now that you're the Lord of the Noble and Ancient House Black he'll do more than simply fainting." Evan backed him up.

"He'll start licking your ass."

"Which wouldn't be bad, given the situation. It will be easier to get things out of him, if I can I would like not to resort to legilimens." Regulus whispered, his mind set on their job.

"I never said it's a bad thing Reggieskins, just that it will be fun to watch" Evan laughed and even he had to admit that a small smile appeared on his lips. They were such idiots.

"Here we are, shut up and let me do the job done." He said suddenly in front of the big brown door, it was ancient and used and he could still remember all the times he went in to stole some of Slughorn potions.

"You just want to have all the credit."

"I can't believe, after everything we did for you the only thing you care is being famous and get all the compliments."

"Shut up assholes." He huffed because they were idiots.

"And now you're even insulting us! Can't believe it!"

"Mr. Black? Mr. Crouch? Mr. Rosier? Is this you?"

"Shit" they all screamed jumping at Slughorn who decided to appear in front of them. "What are you doing here? What's all this fuss? It's 2 A.M. boys!" He had his sleeping vest on, he was scrubbing his eyes trying to rub off the sleep from them and- it was rather funny.

"We're extremely sorry." Barty said, looking extremely shy at the floor and Evan pull a face trying to not laugh.
No they weren't.

"We didn't want to wake you up this late-" Evan started.

"But we need to talk to you, professor." Regulus finished smiling, like they were playing a theater comedy. The professor eyed them suspiciously and they smiled even brighter, like the little good boy they were.

"And you couldn't do it during the day?"

"It's- it's a matter of life and death." Evan said serious and Regulus rolled his eyes once again, scoffing and almost laughing.

"What?" The teacher pales under their gaze, what he could think of them was extraneous. Slughorn with probably half of the school knew their decision about the war, so what was he thinking? That they had been sent by Voldemort? That they were working for him?
Probably.
Was he going to help them?
He was a teacher after all, he couldn't and shouldn't help the main enemy of the school, the man who want to destroy everything to gain power, the one who want to kill half of the muggle that were sleeping in those four walls.
"Life and death? What do you mean?"

"We're kidding Sluggy! We're here to greet you and make a good talk! You're not happy to see us?" Barty smiled with his teeth, a cold calculated smile and their former teacher furrowed his eyebrows, trying to catch if they were serious or not.

"N-no I'm always happy to see former student so brilliant like you." Regulus smiled, a fake one but it always worked with their professor. "But at the right time-"

"But now we're here" Barty pouted and Slughorn eyed him badly, maybe for the stupid surname he gave him before.

"We made a looooong way to get here, you're not sending us back empty handed, right?" Evan bit his lips and Regulus almost screamed when he saw Barty making big eyes to him like he was holding the moon. They were lovesick idiots, he was so tired of them.

"Can we enter professor? We'll be fast. A little chat and then gone." Regulus stopped their comedy and looked bored at Slughorn. There were there and they would get the answers. End of the discussion.

The teacher made way to make them pass through him and enter his room.
It was pretty dark but the candles were giving them a soft aurea.
It was going to be enough.

"How are-" he tried to say but Regulus was fast enough to stop him, he didn't want to prolong his stay here, he didn't want Dumbledore to intercept them and do God know what to them for being death eaters, he had still thing to do and too little time.

"Who was Tom Riddle?" Barty cursed under his breath something along right to the point and next time I'll do the questions.

"What?" Slughorn seemed to be taken aback and Regulus couldn't understand if it was because he did something or because the question was too sudden.

"I was doing a research for the Minister-" he didn't need to know that it was fake. "You know- being the Lord Black and having as a support my library with years and years of history helped me get the job-" he nodded toward the teacher, hoping that he would believe at that without asking him further question.
"And- well- this is when things started to get a bit fuzzy- there was this accident at school that is uhm- cataloged but not explained with this Tom Riddle. And being a perfectionist I just had to know more."

"I'm following Mr. Black." Slughorn sat on a chair and Regulus continued with his history, walking up and down his study, reading the books on the shelf.

"And then Barty remembered about the plaque, the honor he received and everything else-" Slughorn looked at his friend and he smiled.
"You were there- so- can you explain it to us?"

Regulus hoped that Slughorn didn't see the few holes in his history.

It was real that something happened at Hogwarts but why they associated it to Tom Riddle? He was just a name among names.
There was even James Potter's name out there, as the best quidditch captain, so Slughorn could sniff their lie if he really wanted to but he hoped not.

And what did the Minister have to do with the school that was under Albus jurisdiction?

Or why they were investigating about that fact that seemed to be over and closed?

"Tom Riddle was able to obtain that because he was of crucial help in discovering the culprit about a student's death." Slughorn said easily and Regulus' brain started to work on this informations.

"What student? Who was the culprit?"

"Mirtilla Warren is the girl who tragically died and- well- Hagrid was the one who-"
Mirtilla Warred.
Moaning Myrtle?
Could she be the girl who died?
Hagrid.
Was he the man who killed her?
Really?

"Hagrid? The bear out there? The one who cries when he kills a mosquito?" Barty interjected after he poured himself a bit of whisky.
Exactly his point.

"Exactly for that he was the one who killed the girl. Or well- He really didn't kill her- like- like that. He introduced this creature in the school and it was that who killed the girl. But yeah- same thing."
So because he was this good man who couldn't say no to helpless creatures he had been grounded as culprit? Something was off.

"And Tom Riddle helped the school?"
How caring.
Regulus wasn't going to believe that bullshit, he was a genius and a mastermind even at fifteen years old.

"I don't know for sure, Dumbledore was in charge of it but Thomas saw the creature and reported it to him. I know nothing else." Slughorn said. But he didn't watch them in the eyes. "Done? Do you have everything? There was no need to come here this late boys. You should sleep. And I should too."

But Regulus- oh Regulus was able to detect a lie from miles and miles of distance.
Being a pathological liar got him that, he was now able to see and study other's people behavior and simply see.

"Nothing else? At all? Tom Riddle must have been a great student. Slytherin? Yours?"

"Oh he was sure a brilliant student. Always full of question."

"What type of question?"
What kind of question could Voldemort ask?
Dark type of question?
Would Slughorn answer them?
Fuck his head was start spinning, too much question, too few answers, he couldn't-

"The usual question a boy not used to magic usually do." The teacher said, too quickly, almost too harsh, like he had been spot on.

"Dark question?" Regulus asked, fast.

"No!" Their teacher said and even Barty who started smiling, could smell his lie.

"Something must have triggered you, right?"

"I already said no, Mr.Black. Now you really need to go." He pointed straight the door but Regulus sometimes was like a dog who liked to haunt his pray until it gave up. And right now Slughorn was the pray ready to be slaughtered.

"I'm sorry professor, but I need to check."
And then he was entering his mind, it had not been very difficult, Slughorn wasn't used to this type of invasion and Regulus felt bad to do it.
He felt almost sick because- because- because every time he did something like this he felt being closer and closer like her, like his mother, and he didn't want to be like her, but- but he was too late right?
James told him that.
That eh was like them.
That in the end what James did for him was not enough, it'll never be enough because he was too similar. Nothing like Sirius- Sirius- Sirius the perfect man, the perfect son, the perfect friend, the perfect lover.

He was just like her.

And he invaded his mind like her.

But right now he had to do his job, to read his mind. Because he needed to discover everything. He needed to finish this war. For Barty, Evan, Lily, James.
Harry. Harry. Harry.
The bond was growing stronger and stronger as the days passed by and staying away from Harry so much hurt him like hell, so he had to finish this war and fix this situation. Probably his parents didn't want a person like him near their son but he needed to see him, like he needed the air to breathe.
For Harry.

Later- later he would tremble in his bad, away from there, he would bleed himself as punishment to remember that he didn't like to be like them, he didn't like to be like her, he didn't enjoy to do this.
He didn't.
He wasn't like her. They were wrong.

And while he flashed Slughorn memories in front of his eyes he could see the man he was looking for.
Here we go- Tom Riddle- Voldemort- he was him.
There was no doubt.
This one was still healthy, he still hadn't done all the killing all the horcruxed, he didn't split his soul so- so he- he seemed normal. Now he was soulless, his figure was a bit distorted but he had still the same slander figure.
And mostly the aurea. That remained the same.

Mischievous, dark, fascinating.
A leader.
A liar.
A psychopath.

"I was in the library that night, in the restricted section." The boy started and Regulus found himself with his breath take aback, like he shouldn't be there. Slughorn was pretty comfortable, drinking his liquor, listening to Tom, he was his favorite.
"And I read something rather odd about a bit of rare magic."
Tom stopped himself, Slughorn listened, almost caught into his words.
"It's called, as I understand it, a horcrux."

Slughorn tensed. He didn't want o look into his eyes, he was trying to dodge the question but Tom Riddle was too smart. He had the man in his hands.
"Pardon?"

"Horcrux. I came across while reading and I didn't fully understand that."

"I'm not sure about what you were reading but this is very dark stuff, Thomas." The professor was tiptoeing around Thomas and Regulus could understand him, he had been under his scrutiny and he was fucking scaring.

"Which is why I came to you."

"A horcrux is an object in which a person had concealed part of their souls."

"But I don't understand how that works."

"By doing that even if your body will be destroyed, you're protected."

"Protected?"

"Because the part of your soul that is hidden is still alive. You cannot die."

"And how do you do that?"

"I think that you already know the answer Thomas."

"Murder"

"Yes, killing rips the soul apart." Regulus started praying Slughorn to just stop answering. Just stop.

"Can one do seven of them?"

"Seven? Marlin Thomas- just- just thinking of killing one person- but seven?" Slughorn's voice trembled, while Thomas faced the fireplace.
"This is all hypothetical, right? Academic question?"

"Of course it is professor. Of course."
And then Regulus started hyperventilating.

Seven?

Seven?

Seven?

S

E

V

E

N

?

It was bad- it was so bad. It was beyond of his imagination, he thought of one at the start, maybe three right now, considering that his cousin had one of them somewhere. But Seven?
Seven?
All around the world?

Regulus was suddenly brought back, his concentration gone. They both fell on the ground and he was feeling so bad that hoped that Barty and Evan took care of the others things. Like making the man forget everything.
Even though he wanted to kill Slughorn right now on the spot.
This is all hypothetical?
Hypothetical as shit, Tom Riddle was such a fucking sociopath.

"Regulus!" He tried to talk but his mind was racing so fast that he found difficult to find the words. His mind couldn't concentrate enough to explain them because right now was all a blur of emotions.

"Regulus! What happened?"

"Seven-" his eyes were blown wide, his mouth open, he tried to go back but- but- but-
"Seven- seven- seven- what- where?"
Where were they?
How would they find them?

"What?"

"Did you go mad inside his head?"

"Fucking hell- why each day that pass I feel everything going from bad to worse?"

"Ignorance is a bliss sometimes."

"Alright this is why we can't have nice things-" Barty sighed.
"Put Slughorn to bed and let's make him forget- like everything- and then let's get away from here. Quickly."

Times passed in a blur, he was yanked away from the room and finally he was able to breathe some fresh air, it was almost starting December and the cold wind woke him up from his trance. He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe it.

He met his friend's gaze and they both took a deep breath.
"Nice to see you back, princess." Barty grinned.

"Care to tell us what you find in the old lag mind to be so shocking? Not a lot of things are able to shock you so much"

"There are seven of them out there."
At their skeptical look he went on.
"He made seven Horcruxes."
And right now the awareness took place in their face.

"Seven-" Evan whispered.

"-horcruxes?" Barty said, then closed his eyes and start cursing every fucking name that came into his mind, and the were a lot.
Where the fuck one could find seven horcruxes? How one could even create seven of them.

They got one and they had been very lucky that Lucius was not as smart as he thought. Maybe two if they found the one that Bellatrix had.

But the other five?
Holy crap, things were about to go down.