Velvet Bond

Start of December 1976

James was fidgeting from quite some time, it was almost a stress to see him like that but Remus knew that something was bothering him, and with James being James- well- it was worrying. Even Sirius watched him a bit preoccupied but he didn't say anything, knowing full well that James wouldn't say anything right now.

It was funny how everyone leaned on James but he leaned on no one, like he didn't deserve to. And that was the worst.

So Remus waited.

And waited.

And waited again.

Until one day they found each other in the room together, Sirius was probably in detention and Peter out with some of the Hufflepuff girl.
Remus was reading one of his new book that they gifted to him and James was pacing around the room, his fingers fidgeting on the furniture, his mind thinking, talking, almost screaming.

"Come on James, talk to us. Talk to me." Remus put down his book, crossing his legs on the bed and watching him carefully.
And he did exactly what he thought he would.
He backed up, shrinking himself on the bad with a guilty expression.

"Sure Moony, what do you want to talk about?" He said smiling but it was the fakest he had seen on him.

"About what's bothering you, Prongs" Remus explained calmly.
"We have time and the room to us"

"It seems almost a suggestion" James said mumbling to himself and Remus opened his mouth shocked. This was the last thing he expected him to say and it was- funny. He started to laugh and James watched him with a smile, a real one.

"James-" Remus slowly got up from his bed going near him.
"Okay uhm- that's fine- but really- talk to me"

"I don't need-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah- You always say this, but let me pamper you for once." And well- James seemed to really think about that because he put his head on his shoulder.

"I'm just confused, you know? It's nothing- it's nothing bad- just-" he mumbled on his neck and Remus tried to decipher his words. "I don't know- I don't think- I don't-"

"So let me help you with that- two brains work better than one."

"But it's something personal, I don't want to step up-"

"James, we live together, we bath together, we see each other naked almost everyday, Sirius is living at your house and I'm not far from that. I think we are past than that." And James laughed nodding with his head.

"You are right" he whispered.

"As always, my prongsie. As always. So-?"

"Well, I've been thinking a lot lately about- uhm- identity and stuff. And I- uhm how did you know you were gay? I think I have this attraction for a boy but it's normal right? I mean we are sixteen and all- so- so we are a bit overstimulated most of the time, right? Or I'm actually gay? Or- or I don't know!" James started to talk fast without skipping a bit and Remus had almost problems in following him.

But this was-

This was-

Well- unexpected.

Not unwanted- but- wow.

"Uhm- well- right- that's a big question. I- I just- imagine- to be with a guy-" he blushed, because that guy was Sirius and he didn't want to admit that he thought of kissing him more than the average amount of time. And the average amount of time was like zero. So he did think about that a lot.

"I mean- I like when- uhm- thinking- about- you know kissing with this guy, or having sex with this guy, or being excited by this guy. You know Sirius does it with the girls and I think about doing it with the guys. But if you ask me about- well about before- about the realization" he huffed- he wasn't doing a good job.
James was looking at him like he hold the moon and- well he wanted to really help him with that. But It wasn't so easy.
Being gay- was not really common between wizards-

"I think It was more like a realization. I guess I always felt this way towards boys and only boys. Never for a girl. So at the end it was not that difficult for me. But it's different for everyone. The- the course is different for everyone, sometimes you understand it pretty quickly, sometimes you need a bit more time, sometimes you don't understand it at all. There is nothing wrong with- taking time James."

"But did you ever feel unsure or insecure about it?"

"Society doesn't always make it easy to be yourself, especially when you're part of a minority. But I- I don't care about society James. I'm a fucking werewolf- for the standard of our society I think I won a ticket to become a fucking hermit on the Mount Everest, far from them" He chuckled because he was an ironic shit who took pleasure in self-deprecating himself.

"Yeah, I can only imagine." James whispered again, his eyes far away from there.
And Remus- well- Remus wanted to give him the world. James deserved this and even more, he was brilliant, nice and kind, so he didn't derive their shit.

And mostly Remus didn't understand why the society made this big deal about man being with man or girls being with girls or whatever the fuck was out there.
It wasn't their fucking business.
So unless one went out naked and caused a fucking scandal around the cities he didn't understand why everyone was making their life so difficult, it was a matter of being yourself.

"Do-" Remus coughed. "Do you have anything against-"
Remus already knew that James didn't have a problem with him or being gay or even being a fucking slice of bread, but he wanted to shake him, out of his shell, maybe he would actually tell him what it was going on in his mind.
Talk to me James.

"No fuck Remus- don't- just don't. I'm not against it! Never! I love gays! I love you! I- I love everyone! Just-"
Remus watched him in silence, James was taking his time and it was okay, he was there for him he would have waited for him to be ready.
"I think- I think I like both. Guys and girls- is it possible? Is it wrong? I'm so confused- it's all new- I never thought about this- I was always pretty sure about myself."

Remus nodded thinking about his next words.
"Yeah- I mena no. It's not wrong but it's possible to like both. Lily told me about this girl she knows- and she likes both. She's a muggleborn, Lily says that they are a bit ahead of us in these things. So I think that it's possibile- and obviously it's not wrong, like you said that it's not wrong for me to like a guy. Why it would be different for you?"

"I'm- I'm not saying- it's just- I'm- I'm afraid of- if- my parents. I love them- and they love me- I couldn't- I couldn't afford to disappoint them- and this- this is big Remus." James said and he was on the verge of crying.
Remus was going to be sick.
Remus hugged him tightly and James leaned in their contact, like he needed the strength right now, and he would have given that to him.
He would be his stone, his floor and whatever he needed right now, because- it was James-

"James- hey- hey- James no. Just- no. I met Effie and Monty. I know Effie and Monty. They- they are the best James really. If this is what that's bothering you- really- they couldn't be more perfect and supportive about this. They'll be okay. Because they really love you. And parents who love you accept his sons. They want you happy and if this guy is making you happy, they'll be glad he's in your life. Okay, James? Just think about yourself for once. You always think about me, or Sirius or Peter or your parents. This once- do it for you. Do whatever it feels right."
James hugged him stronger than before and Remus find himself smiling in his hair.

"I- I'm not seeing this guy. Merlin I don't even think that he's-" Remus understood perfectly what James was trying to say and patted him on the shoulder.
"But- well- he's- Moony- he's beautiful- I thought that it was just an attraction you know- for a boy- but no- fuck no- I don't think so-"

"An attraction for a boy? And you didn't think that was uhm- weird? For an hetero guy?"

"Obviously not- I mean everyone has them!"
Remus arched an eyebrow and James blushed again.
"Remus I think that half of the boys at school watch at Sirius with gleam in their eyes, you can't say that they are all gay-" James suddenly whispered to him and he started chocking in his own saliva, so much so that James needed to pat on his back for like five minutes straight.

What?
Well- yes- Sirius was- Merlin- but everyone? he was so fixated about him that he didn't notice anyone else.
But again- he was Sirius so there was nothing strange with that.
He was a god. Blessed from Mother Nature.

"Oh Merlin- Remus?! I can't believe it! You like-"

"Don't-" he put a hand on James' mouth before he could even pronounce everything he was going too. And James watched him with wide eyes. "Just- don't-"

"I- Oh Merlin- I didn't know- but Sirius, Remus?"

"I know- I know that I'm properly fucked- I already know that- so- don't- don't- I know, I know, I know" he closed his eyes, he really needed prayers and blessing to fall out of love for Sirius. Because there was no way- no fucking way they he could love him back. Never in this life. "I'm just dreaming about it, I'll recover. It'll be gone soon."

Liar

"I think that both of the black brothers properly fucked us" James said suddenly, muttering more to himself than him and- right now- what the actual fuck?

"Both the- both the Black brothers? Regulus-? You are not talking about Regulus right?"

"No." James said too quickly shifting far from him and-
Remus sighed.
Not now.
There would have been other times but right now he was- tired.
He didn't want to talk about Sirius so James didn't want to talk about Regulus.
Fair enough for him. But it was so fucking weird, how the actual fuck did they talk? When did they talk? What did they talk about? About blood purism? About- about- about-

And Remus was a bit sorry.
Because he didn't know anything about him.
And well- maybe there was something else- but he just didn't know.
He knew just one thing and that James was as fucked up as him- or well right now Remus was a bit better than him, at least Sirius was not living anymore with a mass murder family.

"I can't really think that we chose the most fucked up person in this castle, really what the hell, are we insane?" Remus muttered plopping himself on James' bed and James snorted, getting near him.

They stayed there in silence for a bit.
It was nice.
No excessive words. Just quiet. A nice calm, because they didn't feel the need to talk, to fill up that space. It was good.

"Remus?"
He hummed in response.
"Did- did you ever kiss- a guy?"
And he opened his eyes. No. No he didn't kiss anyone.
There was this guy this summer, but with his mother being home, and his problems with the full moons he didn't have time to think- well- just no.

He shook his head.
"Can we- can we- we?"

"Do you mean try?"
His eyes bulged out of his head. It was the last thing he expected from James, but again, he didn't expect a lot of things that day.
But- it was not- bad, as an idea.
It would have been good. To feel lips against lips. A boy's lips.
He didn't know how many times he would have the chance of doing so- so why not?
"Sure"

"Sure"

"Okay"

"Okay"

But James was still so he rolled his eyes and took his face, with more force than needed maybe. And then their lips met.
And well- he imagined it with Sirius a lot of times, so it had nothing to do with that.
But he thought that if he had some real feelings for James that would be a pretty nice kiss.

He was a bit shy, but nothing bad.

He put a hand under his chin, opening James' mouth a little, slipping inside with his tongue and well- he was gay.
He liked what he found. He liked that he was a boy. He liked his lean body. No curves. Remus closed his eyes but when he started imagining of stroking Sirius' hair instead of James' one he opened up them immediately.

James stopped the kiss, their lips wet, a bit red, swollen.
James bit his lips out and he was scared- James- James was his best friend he didn't want to ruin their relationship. He just understood now how he felt about the guys, so maybe it was too soon. Maybe they run a bit too much.

But instead he smiled at him.
"Thanks Moony. I liked that." He scooted near him once again, touching his lips with his fingers, but his phrase seemed a bit off. "It was good- really- it's that-" he tried to explain but Remus laughed it off.

"Let's never do it again?" He proposed and James nodded, a semi-laugh out of his mouth.

"Let's never do it again."

-------------

Remus Lupin had never been this happy to have a night with the pack, mostly to forget about the situation with Sirius, mostly to forget that maybe Pads would not accompany him anymore during his full moon, never again.
He felt sick Just thinking about that.
Because well- that was worse, worse than every mission that Dumbledore would have given him, worse than their painful transformation, worse than- well- everything.

Even when they argued back in fifth year, Pads continued to show up during full moons, just to disappear the following morning. He had always been with him.
And right now- he didn't know. He fucked up everything.
And the fact that he didn't know made Moony growl inside him, in a hurt and painful way.

Yeah- tonight would be a disaster. Tonight he would rip off his own skin.

Passing by he nodded at the other werewolves who were already there and he remembered that he was there for a goal. Remus was there to convince them to turn their back to Voldemort, it was the right time, Voldemort didn't show up a lot lately, so maybe he was out for good for a bit of a time, and Remus would have took that opportunity.

He had a mission.
He had a goal.

And Albus was becoming impatient, it was time for him to achieve something, in the last years he had some victories but a lot of defeats. The werewolves were scared to death, were mistreated, misjudged, they couldn't have a proper job, only to fight for a little bit of bread, they were scared of being imprisoned, fo being forced to do something they didn't want to, of being someone they didn't want to.

And- Remus fuck he understood them.
He had been the only one who was recused by Albus, otherwise- well- he would be exactly like them, scared, alone, in pain, suffering famished, jobless.
And he hated that he had to do that, that he had to bring them into a path in which he first was not sure about the outcome, he wasn't sure if Albus would be truthful, if Albus would really change some laws, but he had to trust him.
It was the last thing he had left.
Trust in their leader.
In their principal.

So there he was.
Trying to get their trust first, trying to understand them, to make himself one of the pack, one for them, and it was so fucking weird, because he was not used to this but at the same time it was all so perfect.
It was- it was a pack.
Moony growled at the moon whit them, he was able to run, to hunt, to be free. For real this time, without being trapped in a haunted house, or- or near a school in which he could cause some damage.
They were all the same, they needed the same things, they understood each other, the pain, the injuries, the fights for the territory.
It was so exciting and right.

And well. He thought he had a good job integrating with them, until- well- untile that day.

"Remus, here you are, there is someone for you" Tom, a werewolf a bit older than him, met himself halfway and he shrugged his shoulders.

"For me?" It was weird, no one came for him, not on the full moon, he panicked his eyes out of himself. Question were forming into his mind, the full moons was almost there, a few more minutes and he would transform, who was the crazy one who could request a meeting with him, now, so near to the full moon?

"Yeah, inside" he pointed at the building they used like shelter and he raised an eyebrow.

"Well- let's go then"

But then-
And fuck-
He stopped abruptly, already knowing that mischievous grin, the canines sharper than usual, those bloodlust eyes, the confident pose.
Grayback.
Fortunately he didn't meet him a lot of time but those were enough, he was mental, crazy and mad, the man who transformed him when he was only four years old because he had a grudge against his father.
The man he hated the most.
The craziest of them all.
The devil on the Earth.
Fenrir Greyback.

And he trembled at just seeing him, this night would go very very bad.
He was here for blood, the smile was giving that away and he was not strong enough to fight him.
The pack leader.
Because it didn't metter how many times he could go at these gatherings, no one could ever beat him, the one who transformed half of them.
And Greyback already asked him to kneel to him, to be his second hand, to be HIS, but he didn't accept and- well- that made him really angry.
They were on thin ice since then.

"Oh my- oh my, hello dear Remus"
He felt a shiver along his back.
He wanted to run.

"Greyback" he bitted out, he didn't want to be scared of him. But he was. Merging if he was. His eyes gleamed with primal fury as they prepared to settle a long-standing dispute that threatened to tear the pack apart.

"A birdie told me you're creating a bit of a fuss in my pack, so- here and there I to settle."

"Now you talk to the birds? Here we got the man who talks to animals, impressive."

"Always the sarcastic type you are, right?"

"What do you want? The moon is near" he gritted out, his skin starting to crawl, a pounding pain in the back of his head.

"This land belongs to my pack and you are intruding, your presence will not be tolerated anymore, Lupin."

"I am intruding according to who?" No one ever told him anything of that sort. He was a wolf like all of them, and they were a pack. So why intruding?

"The Dark Lord" and he felt cold.
His mind went out, like a blackout.
What- The Dark lord told Greyback to- fuck- to kill him.
He was not a fool, The Dark Lord resolved his question, in this case the people who were 'intruding' in his pack like this. And well- he would be extremely fucked.

"I will not yield. I am a wolf like everyone else."

"I already knew that, always appreciated your bravery, or stupidity, I don't really know. Just know that tonight- well- I'll not say this in a lot of words, they are not my forte. But you'll die. And not in a pretty way." He told him, pretty happy to finally been able to spread a bit of blood in the grass. "And no one here will fight for you."

"I-" but Remus did not even had the time to be scared because a headache started to explode in his head, he screamed, kneeling and the others did the same.
It was starting.

As the full moon rose high in the night sky, casting its luminous glow upon the world below, those afflicted with the curse of lycanthropy felt the familiar stirrings of transformation deep within their souls. For every one of them, the change from human to werewolf was not just physical but a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions and sensations, each more intense than the last, the smell, the feel, the taste was everything more, more, more.

As the moon reached its zenith, the transformation began, starting with a primal ache that radiated through every muscle and bone. It was a painful reminder of the curse they bore, a curse that robbed them of control and plunged them into the depths of their primal instincts.
And Remus Lupin got through this since he was four years old, barely able to stand on his feet, barely able to talk and yet- here he was, once again, and forever, till his death.
That- well- It was not too distant-
It would probably be that night.

And he didn't even kissed Sirius for the last time.
He didn't said his goodbyes to James, Lily and Harry.
He didn't hug his mother.
But well- one can't really decide when the fate would be against him right?

The first change was always the most agonizing, as bones shifted and muscles stretched, contorting their human form into that of a beast. It was a sensation akin to being torn apart from the inside out, a visceral reminder of their dual nature.
And then they felt their humanity slipping away, replaced by the wild, untamed essence of the wolf, they were consumed by a profound sense of loss and helplessness.

Remus fell forward on all fours, back arched. A pained whimper escaped her lips, making her sound like a kicked dog. Bone snapped somewhere within his and his body lurched forward, hunching and twisting into a new shape.
Another piercing cry of pain filled the room.

Tom was curled on his side, arm bent at a strange angle as it reformed itself. Another whimper spilled out of him, despite the way his teeth clenched together against the pain. Greyback was in the same position as him, even though his trasformation was quicker than his, he didn't really know how, maybe being one of the oldest.

Pained cries filled the air. Cecily, one of the others who were there, was groaning like a beast in death throes, bent fingers clutching at her hip. Andrew was curled tight in a ball, eerily silent. Whimpers of pain receded, no longer filling the room with pitiful cries.

They all watched in horror as their thoughts became feral and primal, their rationality giving way to instinctual urges and desires.
The transformation brought with it a sense of liberation, a freedom from the constraints of human society and morality. But it was even a nightmare from which they could not escape, a relentless onslaught of pain and suffering that left them feeling utterly alone and abandoned.

Howls ripped through the tentative peace.
It was Moony.
And now the others were following his voice.
Remus tilted his head back and howled again, happy to be there. One by one the wolves joined his mournful call.

But for Moony it was time to run.
A hunt had started and it was not a good one.
He would be the hunted tonight and Moony wanted to see padfoot ad lest once before dying, so he must be quick and run away from the big black wolf who was eyeing him.

And so Moony ran, ran, ran.

The woods were cold and dark. Tree branches blotted the stars from the sky and the light of the full moon from the ground. Soft grass and soil absorbed the sound of paws on ground, rendering the pack entirely silent. Even the whoosh of his breath on the air was muffled by the leaves of the trees and the wind in the branches. Small creatures of the forest hid in their boroughs, the bunnies were Moony's favorite but they were intelligent, not daring to move in case the predator caught their movement or scent.

But today he would not play with those bunnies.
Today he would not follow them.
But Moony's run was stopped after a few- moment? Hours? He didn't know, he just saw a black big and mischievous wolf getting in front of him and blocking his way.
So the only thing that remained was to fight the giant wolf.

Why was he doing this to Moony?
Why was Moony the prey?
The bunnies where better-

With a fierce howl, the battle began. Claws clashed and teeth gnashed as the two alphas fought for dominance. The forest echoed with their roars, shaking the very earth beneath them.

Moonlight bathed the battleground as their packs watched, torn between loyalty and fear. Each blow struck was a testament to their strength and resolve.
With a fierce howl, the wolf lunged at Moony, his massive claws slashing through the air. But Moony was leaner, dodging his attack with agility born of years of hunting and survival. He countered with a series of lightning-fast strikes, his movements fluid and precise. But not enough. He was not enough.

Their battle raged on, the sounds of snarls and growls echoing through the forest. Each blow they exchanged was fueled by years of animosity and resentment, as well as the primal instinct to assert dominance.
As the moon passed, casting an ethereal glow upon the battlefield, it became clear that neither of them would back down. Their fight was not just about territory or power; it was a test of strength, will, and ultimately, survival.
For Moony it was survival, love, reconnection, for the other wolf it was about power, about orders, about greatness.

The conflict seemed destined to end in bloodshed, the other wolf lunged at Moony and he didn't dodge. A long and ugly scrape ran through his torso and he owned at the moon him pain, but not for long, their fight was almost done, with Moony hurting he tried to get away, to run again, but the wolf took confidence and starting clasping his teeth into his skin and he whined and whined, the air started to smell of blood, his blood, who was falling on the ground.

Moony was crying in pain.
He could not move anything.
His skin was on fire.

He started to back up with the little strength he had and the other wolf was taking pleasure in seeing him like that, owning like crazy like it was a victory.
And indeed it was.
The black and big wolf was ready to jump straight on him, to finish him with his teeth to make him bleed until he took his last breath.

But- Tom?

It was him?

Tom jumped instead.

He jumped on the bad wolf and he gave him time to run a bit, but he was losing blood so it was easy to track him down again.
The first ray of sun started rising, the night was almost finished and Moony was still alive.
Thanks to Tom. He was scared of what would happen to him so he turned and he saw, Moony fucking saw his wolf, his friend, his fellow, being bitten by the other one, the big and black one.

And Moony was a crazy wolf, because he should ran away, given the distraction Tom gave him, Moony should just thank the deity and go away.
But Moony couldn't.
Moony couldn't abandon Tom like that.
Not after he had saved him.

So he turned and jumped on the black wolf who was tearing his wolf part.
Mine, mine, mine.
Moony was screaming that.
Don't touch what is mine.

And for a moment the black wolf seemed to back up, seemed a bit shocked, scared, he could smell his uneasiness, and Moony giggled, moved his tail, and attacked again. The battle raged again, now they were two against one, both injured, both scared but- it was something-

Morning dawned suddenly. Between one heartbeat and the next, Remus was no longer a wolf running with his brethren. He came to himself in a painful way, groaning, with the blood that dribbled from his mouth, blinking at the bright morning sun.
After a night spent roaming the woods in the dark, fighting and worse- well- everything was hyper saturated. Greens seemed brighter and more verdant than before. Yellows more golden, reds were eye-searingly bright, like his werewolves senses remained.

Remus collapsed on the ground, his body wasn't incapable of holding himself up anymore, he tried, he really tried to get up but he couldn't, his hands were not holding him, his legs were shaking, his mind was fuzzy for the blood loss, he couldn't even protect his mate, his first- he didn't know what to call him- Tom.

He didn't remembered much, his werewolf memory not enough to cover those hours, but he just knew about Tom. He just knew that- that he saved his life.

Greyback, even though he was losing some blood from his torso and his legs seemed relentless, walking towards him with a big grin. And fuck- fuck. Fuck. He couldn't even cry he was too too tired, too- too- his vision began fuzzy- his head spinning-

"Remus" Greyback growled and Remus moaned- "I suppose I'm impressed- at the end you made a wolf yours" he clapped his hands together and Remus couldn't even reply to him. "Unfortunately he'll be alone within minutes. Ups." And he laughed, a fucking terrifying laugh.

"D-d-don't-" he hissed in pain "S-sstop-"

"What? You aren't even capable of grabbing your own wand, weak" and maybe he was right, but he didn't know because he fell unconscious and everything went black.

-----------------

Well- truth be told, Regulus had been too confident.
There were a lot of werewolves in that area and even the packs were many and scattered along a vast amount of land, so Regulus had to do a lot of trick to be here right in time.
It was getting stressful, really.

"I'm a bit disappointed, If I must say" Regulus came into the view, they were the only one out there, the other werewolves went back in the shelter, to mend at their injuries and to sleep a bit.

Remus Lupin was not- good.
But he couldn't have done anything while they were werewolves.
Okay helping them out, but he was neither a martyr not a stupid. Going there while they were transformed it meant being torn apart, literally.

"Who the fuck are you, human? In a pack territory? After a full moon. Are you dumb?"

"I'm a Death Eater" he shown his arms to the man and recognition took part on his face.

"The Dark Lord wanted to control me? I'm finishing right now, you can tell this to your master" he flinched at that word. He had no master. Voldemort was nothing to him. A no body.

Regulus hummed without responding.
"Well- you didn't do a good job, what an alpha you are, you weren't even able to kill him in your feral form." And this made Greyback growl angrily towards him.
Okay- he was playing with fire but he couldn't really stop himself.

"The deal was to kill him and I'm about to do it, so fuck off"

"What if we made a better one?" And Greyback grinned, his sharp canines ready to bite him, it was not the full moon, not anymore but well- a bite would have hurt nonetheless. And Greyback was crazy- maybe he had the rabies.

"Uh oh and do tell me- what do you propose?"

"Let's say that the Lord is indisposed right now" Regulus started walking slowly towards him, trying to keep his interest elevated. "And let's say I'm powerful enough to hold his treat if he would came back, so why do I have to wait him, like a good doggie?" He smiled wildly, matching his wolfish one. "Sorry for the metaphor with the dog, no remorse, right? But well- as I was saying- I want to take his place once for all."

"And what will I gain?"

"You'll be in the part who'll win"
And Greyback started to laugh, and Regulus raged with fury.
He would not accept anyone who took him slightly.
He was a lord now, trained by Lords, no wolf, or dog, or rat would make fun of him.
No one.

"I don't even know your name, instead, The Dark Lord is feared everywhere. So why do I have to trust you? Who do you think you are?" Regulus clicked his tongue again his palate, not satisfied with the response.

"I'm the Lord Regulus Black, your ignorance is almost embarrassing"

"Okay, let's do this- first I kill him, then I'll kill you. We'll see which one of us will be embarrassing when dead" Greyback grinned and Regulus rolled his eyes.
Really?
What an idiot.

"Sectusempra" he said, without really looking and Greyback started screaming form pain and injured that started running on his body. The bloody idiot didn't trust him? The bloody idiot thought the be more powerful than a wizard with a wand pointed up at him? Fine, then he should not complain about this.

Injuries and scratches started forming up on his body, this way no one would even blame him, it was a werewolf act, during a brutally full moon.
Remus John Lupin brute act possibly.

He walked to the unconscious man, and fuck- he was- mmh- maybe worse than expected, but- well- not completely his fault this time. But he really needed him awake him now.
He sat across his lap, slapping him on the cheek.

"Wake up, princess" he said and Remus just murmured, but his eyes were still closed. Not waking up, mmh?
"Wake up" he slapped his cheek stronger and he was almost sorry if Remus wasn't bleeding on his best suit, was dying in front of him and was making his life a lot harder.
"I said, wake the fuck up" and finally, finally, Remus opened his eyes, grumbling something, blood slipping down.

"I'll call help but now you have to listen to me, okay Remus?" He tried to keep his head straight, so the eyes would meet. "Are you here Remus?" No, no he wasn't.

"Sirius?"
That was enough proof that Remus Lupin, was indeed not there with him.

"Not quite, but I'll pass that. Say with me: you killed Greyback."

"You came after all-" Remus smiled and Regulus almost gagged, Remus was entirely wrapped around his brother's finger. He would take this on his grave.
Hoping it would not be today.

"Yes, yes, yes. Now, repeat with me: you killed Greyback. Come on Remus, help me" he was closing his eyes again so he slapped his cheek once more.

"You killed Greyback" Remus mumbled and Regulus cursed.
He would have gone crazy.
He was going crazy.

"I- fucking dumbass- I killed Greyback"
Remus furrowed his eyebrows, moving for the first time, to look at the corpse lying on the ground, and the his hands.
"I killed Greyback, come on Remus."

"I- I killed Greyback" he said still uncertain but more unconscious than conscious.

"Good" he grimaced, if Remus remembered anything of that night would have called it a lucky day. "Now, call for Moody"
But Regulus found that he was asking too much at the injured man right now.
And fuck- what- what could he do?
"Fuck Remus tell me you could send a patronus, please Remus, please, please, please, please. I can't."

"Stay with me Sirius?" Regulus came down from Remus lap and he opted for staying near him, while thinking.
He didn't- he didn't try to do a patronus after some failed attempt.
He couldn't find something strong good for him to form one.

James, James, James.
Please, please, please.
I need- I need your help.
One, just this one time.

"Expecto Patronum" but nothing came out from his wand, not a single bit of magic and he cursed. Remus needed help now.
So Regulus, think slight. He needs help.
Just once.
Just this time, I need it just- just today.
Never again. Never, never, never, let me save Remus Lupin.

"Please Merlin let me save Remus, please, please" he whispered among himself, trying at the same to get warm Remus' body who was freezing cold, and to think about his childhood.
Something would be good.
Anything would be good.

So obviously he thought of James, of his fingers roaming his body, making a permanent mark on his skin, in his bones, on his soul. His touch was magic because James had been able to enter in his mind and never let him go. More than the dark mark, because if the dark mark was an image of power, of weakness, of wrong choices, James' mark had nothing bad on him.
Please, please, please, just be enough.

"Expecto Patronum" and this time spark of magic came out, he bubbled out a laugh of happiness he was not completely ruined, his soul was not completely Black.
But it was not enough.
Not enough to save Remus.

But then he thought about two green eyes.
Two green eyes who watching him from a crib.
A loud giggle escaping from Harry's lips, his Harry. His bond.
The baby who Regulus saved.
And Regulus who was saved by a baby.
Harry, just Harry, his Harry, their Harry.
Who needed Remus, who needed his uncle.

"Expecto Patronum!" He said almost tiring himself out, it had been more difficult to do this little thing than every fucking mission, he was drained to the bone, but he did it.
He did it.
Here it was.

A beautiful stag running wild, a stag-?
Not- not a cat-? Oh Merlin- what the hell was that?
But he couldn't bring himself to care right now, the stag was walking around him, trotting happily and he laughed.
He really laughed for the first time-
He was so happy he could jump, or scream or-

"Tell Moody to come here immediately, or Lupin will die. He'll know where" he said quickly to the stag who trotted away fast, disappearing in the forest.

"Here Lupin, they'll be here soon, you're safe, you're safe, you're safe" he kept saying hoping that it was real and it was not only in his imagination.

"Can you hold my hand Sirius?" And yes- he had not the heart to tell him no. Not after that night, not after the fact that he could be the last person seeing him alive, not after Remus Lupin had to support that every month.
He took his hand and Remus smiled, between a bit of blood that fell from his mouth.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I'm so sorry. I trust you, forgive me" and well- that was something. He understood more with those few words than in half his life.
They argued.
The sap of his brother argued with his golden boy?
Interesting.
And the fact that Remus was apologizing, so it had been his fault?
I trust you.
What did that mean?
He didn't trust him.
When? Where? Why?

"It's okay Remus. You are okay. You are safe. Just stay awake for a bit of a time, okay?"

"And you'll forgive me?" Remus slurred a bit about the last part and Regulus' heart clenched. He was so nice, so sweet. Like a baby.

"Yes Remus, Yes. I'll forgive you. If you'll live I'll forgive you." He started stroking his hair with his free hand while with the other he kept holding him.

But Remus closed his eyes so at the end it was all in vain.

Regulus had to go away but he hoped everything would turn out fine.
He hoped Moody did his fucking job, because at that time neither he or Albus were doing anything good. James, Lily and Remus would be dead if it was for them.
Fucking useless.

He hoped that the next one wouldn't be his brother.
He would have exploded with anger at that.

"Good luck Remus, you are a good one" and he vanished into thin air while Moody arrived fast and breathless but still too late.