Velvet Bond

September, 1976

Regulus hated his life. Literally. But most of all he hated Slughorn who had paired him with that muggleborn of Lily Evans. A mugglborn. Him?
H I M ?

When the news that he could advance a year thanks to his excellent knowledge in potions had reached him, he had been pleased with himself.
He had finally found something he could do well.
Something at which he would excel, and not be in anyone's shadow. Mostly his brother. But right now, Sirius Black wasn't his concern.

Now, the very thing that had given him satisfaction was making him regret every decision Regulus had made so far.

"Merlin, Evans what the fuck are you doing? You have to cut them smaller. I knew I had to do this job." He whispered angrily at the readhead.

"Oh- did you know you had to do it? And why?" She rolled her eyes, huffing those words and he cursed under his breath. Fuck the day he got paired with her. They were just incomparable.

"Because I obviously have a wider knowledge, since I am a-"

"Wizard descended from wizards? Please Black shut up with those bullshit and start mixing. And for the record, I cut the slugs perfectly. You're the one who can't read- mister I-know-everything."

"No way-"
But his objection was stopped by an enraged Lily Evans slamming the Potions book down on his hand.

"Fuck- you're a cunt-" he hissed for the pain and he quickly took his hand away.

"Say one more word, and next time I'll smash this book over your head. And now read, you dumbass."
He read and cursed to himself.
Indeed Evans was right, he had made an oversight, a miscalculation.
Merlin, he could not believe that he had been corrected by- by a muggleborn.

"And now, if your blood supremacist brain will let me, I would like to continue and finally finish this damn potion."
And as any fifteen year old worth his salt, with an overpowering gifted brain, could do, he began to ape her.

"Smartass"

"Bigot"

"Know-it-all"

"Idiot"

"Ass-"
How Lily Evans infuriated him never anyone in the world. She was- so- ugh!
Not even his brother when he was being an idiot, was able to rile him up that much.
At least his brother had the right to do that! He was his brother, he was pure blood and he was part of his family.
Lily- Lily was just- less.
She was less, she couldn't afford such outings, not with him.

"Guys!" Said Horace taking them back and the two of them were so caught up in their bubble of insults that they didn't notice the attention they had attracted.
Damn- Lily Evans.
He hated her, he hated her, he hated her.

"Excuse us professor," the girl said blushing and he rolled his eyes, muttering to himself. "If you weren't such a bloody git, we wouldn't have been scolded. Now shut up and stir"

"You won't tell me what I have to do"

"Wanna bet?"

"Irascible, shrew-"

"Guys! Hey! Shall we finish it?" And this time Slughorn caught them so off guard that Lily ran into the cauldron in fright, burning her hand and arm and coming into contact with the potion that was already starting to blister her skin.

"Shit," she said in pain.
And honestly?
Fuck them all.
This day was only getting worse.

"Oy-Oy-Oy, let me see Miss Evans. You need to go to the infirmary immediately, it's not serious but it needs to be treated. Mister Black, do you mind?"
Who? What? He had lost the last five minutes of dialogue absolutely heedless of everything going on around him.
He looked with arched eyebrows at what was happening, and then realised.
Oh no, oh no, no. He wouldn't- he wouldn't have accompanied Lily Evans to the infirmary.

"No way- I have other things-"

"Nonsense, I put you two as mates and you must learn to take care of each other. And I won't take no for an answer. I said now Mister Black."

Pissed off, he took Lily's healthy arm and started to accompany her to the infirmary.
"Do I also have to carry you on my shoulder or do you do it yourself? Do I have to call you princess?"

"Please, you are thinner than a twig, you'll fly away in the wind," she replied sarcastically and tried not to show offence at the comment.
He had always had problems with his physique.
As a child he had always been too plump for his mother, unsuitable for a son of a noble house, who had to be slim and attractive.
The physique was the image of the family.
Growing up, due to restrictions, he had become thinner and thinner, in an almost wrong way but never enough, never enough, never enough.

And even now he was struggling to get out of the box, more and more imperfect, more and more wrong, but with the need to achieve perfection, to achieve compliments.

But Lily Evans was no fool.

As much as he might resent her, he could see very well that she was no fool, and she grew quiet. "Not that there's anything wrong with the way you are, on the contrary-" she said after a while, amidst the silence of the corridors.
The students still in class hours.

He huffed. "Sure-we'll talk about it when I don't have to skip lunch or dinner to be perfe-" but he stopped there.
He didn't have to say that.
He didn't- he couldn't be weak. Not in front of her.

She looked at him with these big green eyes that concealed an obvious question. She was dying to ask something else but she was quite clever and she asked no more questions.

They were not friends.
They were not consoling each other.
They didn't care about each other problems.

"Here we are Evans," he said and was about to leave but Madam Pomfrey nipped him in the bud.

"Hello to you two, dear. Oh- I see the problem Miss. Evans. Nothing to worry." She said examining her arm, and smiling at the end.
"Mister Black, stop there. I would like you to stay here while I prepare the cure. Fortunately it's nothing serious, half a day's rest and you'll be as good as new" the nurse smiled and disappeared into her lab and he snorted.
He was very lucky that day-

"Forced again with me, Baby Black? Ouch. A mudblood. This must hurt your frail ego."

"Yes- I have better things to do than stay here and watch you moping."

"Better things to do like what? Burn down some houses? Meet some Lord fanatic of the Dark magic- Jeez- I'm almost envious- really-" she said sarcastically and he couldn't let her speak like this about The Dark Lord.

"Melin Evans if you don't shut up-" he grab his wand, out of himself. She shouldn't dare to say that.

"What? What Regulus? Are you going to curse at me? In the infirmary?" She smirked at him. "And you know what it's funny? You keep talking about Merlin but you don't even seem aware of his exploits. Merlin was born of a muggleborn mother and he always fought for our rights, even creating rules in our favour. Hypocritical of you, don't you think? Maybe you should read up on that."

Merlin?
One of the greatest wizards in history- the wizard who had attended their household and was their pride, the most famous wizard in history- was- was open towards muggleborns?

"Whatever" he responded, even though he noted down that. He must control, he must understand.

"You didn't know uh? Well- I gave you something to think about Regulus. Even I hate to admit it but you're smart, so I hope you're not just a book geek and understand the facts too. What you- purists- share is not right. It is not the world out there. It's just bullshit. And I'd like you to understand."

He- okay-
He was a curious person by nature, he ate books for lunch, dinner and breakfast, so he- had- to- absolutely understand, look, check.
How had such a thing escaped him.

"And the magic- the magic is in the world Regulus- not in people. Not in the sanctity of blood or families, not a vicious circle. Magic is uncontrollable, it manifests itself powerfully. And you can, you and your family can try to lock it up in your lineage- but- it doesn't. It doesn't work like that. Magic must be free, magic is in nature, in plants, in water, in fire and- and sometimes we are allowed a small spark of all that power. But- but it is still greater than all of us- you delude yourselves- you think you know more than all of us- the truth is that you know nothing." Lily finished her speech and her heart began to beat fast, discharges of electricity ran through the room, between them.

He- It couldn't be true- the magic- but it all made so much sense.
And if Regulus had one quality it was logic. It was that he thought every damn thing through, he was lucid, cold and calculator. And everything Lily said seemed to fit perfectly into the great puzzle of the world.
But then-
How.
How? How? How?

Did they- his parents- the people he had most relied on- know these things? Did they ignore them? Did they keep them hidden? Surely there was an answer.
Why?

"I'll look into it and keep you updated on what I find. Just to show you that you are wrong." He wasn't convinced. But he couldn't waver.
It couldn't be, he couldn't have lived his whole life in a lie. He couldn't-

"Alright pretty boy, search and let me know. When you'll see the reality we'll start with muggleborn literature. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. And now let me rest. You are dismissed."
He tried not to blush at her pretty boy.

"What am I, your house elf? Dismissed?" he replied annoyed.

"Evidently not very obedient if you are not leaving." She replied, turning around on the bed. He mimicked her once more, but he had no time for that.

He had research to do.
Where magic come from?
Who was Merlin?
Who were his parents?

--------------------------------

"Regulus!" Someone was waking him up by shaking him by the shoulder, he recovered his senses like a man who had been held under water for too long, coughing up blood and ridding his lungs of all superfluous.

And then, he felt only pain. "Regulus! Regulus! Move! We must go!"
What was happening?

His head didn't connect, his bones ached, his heart throbbed too hard, he felt as if he were in a cage made of fire imprisoning him.
Please, please, please.
Merlin, please make this pain stop. It's too much and I'm too weak.

"Regulus!" He was called for the fifth - sixth - tenth? - time.
He squinted, memories were flooding back to him.

James? Harry? Voldemort? Lily? The confrontation?
Was he dead?

But the pain in his body, the hand that was shaking him and the voice he was hearing seemed very much alive. Real.
So no- he was alive-
Then how?
How could he be alive? He vividly remember-

"Shit Regulus! Wake the fuck up! Don't die- don't- you can't- you dickhead- I can do it all on my own.I swear when you wake up I'll kill you myself." This voice was known. Who was this person?

"James-" he let it out as a cry, shrill, lungs still compressed, still aching, he struggled to breathe, speaking seemed impossible. Saliva was pooling in his mouth, unable to swallow it properly.

"Sorry to disappoint, I'm Barty- and fuck- finally! You are alive! Thank Merlin. Get a move on! Regulus you must get up! Now!"
Barty? Why was Barty there?
And- James? Lily? Harry?
He opened his eyes wide, trying to pull himself up but a throbbing pain at-at-all made him lie back down, vomiting some blood once more.

"Shit- fuck-" he hissed, he didn't know what he felt and he didn't anymore. Everything was just ache and pain.

"Hey buddy, calm down, you go from being dead to jumping up?"

"James-" he whispered with difficulty "Lily?The baby?" He coughed some more, he was getting a little better with time, his headache getting lighter.
Maybe Merlin or Slytherin Salazar had actually heard his pray.

"They are alive Regulus. Uhm let's say it like that-"
What does he mean?

"What does this- Barty! What does it mean!" He shouted again, his voice shrill and wavering.

"I'm saying they have a pulse, but they're injured. They lost blood in the night- they should- they should make it- we've alerted Sirius and his boyfriend with a patronus- and they're on their way. That's why we have to leave. If they see you here, they will think it was you."

"Are they- are they alive? Really?"

"Yes Reg- yes- you did good- you saved them."
Barty smiled at him, one of the few smile he saw in that period so he finally leaned on his best friend. Such satisfaction gripped him so hard that he almost cried on his shoulder.
But he did not cry. Not anymore.

"Voldemort?"

"Was he really here?"

"Yes, we collided." He grimaced watching around the room, and yes- he could see the outcome of their battle, everything was in pieces aside from the crib in which Lily posed Harry.

"Holy shit, your cover is gone." Barty cursed under his breath. "He's not here anyway. There is- there is a pool of blood - not yours - wide enough- but no body." He shrugged not really remembering a lot from the night before.

"I don't- I don't know what happened- something exploded- pain and-" his eyes were closing once more, he was tired- but Barty lifted him up by his weight wrenching out a groan of pain.

"Okay- okay we'll see at home- we'll take care of it at home. Now we have to go- move, fast" well, fast was a big word. He tried to steady himself on his trembling legs but he fell back and collided with the cradle that yesterday had seen an unrepeatable scene- blood, pain, scream.
"Come on let's go-" Barty began and then stopped and looked at him. For the first time he lowered his gaze too, his clothes torn, bloody cuts all over, bruises, broken bones most likely.
Nothing he hadn't imagined.

"What-what is that?"

"Um- well Barty- we collided- they are wounds and blood and-"

"No, not that idiot," Barty said rolling his eyes, then reached out and took his hand. "This," he said lifting it to face height and-
Oh-
Ooh-

A red thread.

A thin red thread coiled on his little finger to go- he followed the thread with an open-mouthed gaze- to go and connect to- to- Harry? He watched again. No.
"Barty-" he said almost frightened in a trembling voice, his eyes not believing what they were witnessing.
"Barty what- Barty what? What is this?"

"Regulus even with my 12 Owls I've never seen anything like that- I don't know-"

"Guys! Move!" Said Evan from downstairs-

"Evan is downstairs, he tried to fix Potter a bit, but we're not healers, so he couldn't do much," he quickly told him, going to the door of the room, preparing to go away.
"Time to go- the place is filling up with their friends and I don't want another fight" but his gaze was still placed on Harry, on his little finger which had the same red thread.

"It's tied- it's tied to a monster like me Barty- we can't- Harry can't- cut it. Cut it Barty. Now. Please Barty. Cut it, cut it. Cut it."

"It doesn't work that way Regulus. Ties are something extremely fragile. We must research-"

"No! You don't understand! Can't- these" he raised his hands in front of Barty "these are the hands of a murderer, a killer, a beast!"
Barty sighed noisily, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

"Alright Reg- we- have- to- " he mumbled something else "Okay, you are wounded, probably you have a concussion, you are not understanding very well, and it's okay bud. We are here for you. But you have to help me there, you have to pull yourself together, okay?"
But Regulus only tried to pull the string, Harry clung to the bars smiling, almost tickled by that contact.
No, no, no.
He couldn't do that to him, to James and Lily's child. To them.

"Regulus shit, let's go" Barty pulled him out of the room but immediately Harry started crying his eyes out.
He didn't- he wouldn't stop. He looked inconsolable.
And the pain in his heart deepened. He groaned in pain, laying a hand on his lungs, finding difficult to even breathe now.

"Shhh, apple pie, shhh" Regulus said and yes- he probably had a fucking concussion because it was not like him. Apple pie?
Seriously?

"Shit-" whispered his friend. "Not-not a good sign Regulus."

"What? Am I infecting the baby? Is he ill? I'm making him ill?" He said, approaching Harry again. He felt the need to take him in his arms, to nurse him, to make him stop crying. He took him in his arms almost automatically, he didn't know what he was doing, he didn't know if it was good or bad. He started dancing a finger on his face and the chubby hand of the baby followed it happily and giggling.

He had to hold him, he had to feel his warmth. He smiled at the baby, already in love.

And immediately Harry began to smile at him again. And he smiled with him, even wider than before, feeling his heart at peace for the first time since he had woken up that morning.

"Regulus-" he looked at Barty with a new light in his eyes. He had finally found peace. The thread glowed, their fingers almost intertwined.
"Exactly what-what relationship did you have with-" he pointed with his head at Lily, who had been placed on the bed, cared for as much as she could by Barty. "Or with Potter downstairs. Or with both for all I care."

"I-" he widened his eyes- not quite knowing what to answer- he put Harry down, who was looking at him with hopeful big eyes, searching new contact with his hands.

"I- we- not- what are-" he watched at Lily, suddenly needing her comfort.
What relationship did they have?
Well- they- were-

"Shit- it's- I'm just supposing- It's a love bond" but with saying that, Barty grabbed him by the arm, carrying him away from there.
A what?

They arrived at their house, dragged by the arm by Barty and the moment he touched the floor of their living room he bent over himself to empty the entire contents of his stomach, which was not much if you don't count the blood.
"Fuck- mate- what happened?"

"Dueled with Voldemort-"Barty said instead of him, trying to get him to lean back on the couch.

"No-" he said feebly, trying to oppose to Barty "I'll get blood on the couch."

"Merlin Regulus, you're about to die in the middle of the living room and you're worried about the couch?"

If you were in my house, yes.
My Mother used to worry about such things.
The blood could not be washed off well.

"Sorry- did you duel with- Voldemort- alone?"

"Yes the other two were absolutely useless, Potter didn't even have his wand with him." Regulus uttered a choked cry at hearing that name.
James? How was James? Please Merlin, kill anyone, kill me, but not James, not Lily. Please.
"But the funniest thing - and I hope you perceive my ironic tone - is that now our Reg is bonded to the child."

"What do you mean he is bonded to the baby? How it happened?"

"We don't know either! Just that- " stopped Barty's speech as another gag of vomit hit Regulus from head to toe.

"Shit- we'll deal with it later- Reg- who- who do you know that can heal you?"
He merely raised his head and looked at him with his vacant eyes.
Evan cursed.

"I'm calling your cousin."
But no- he couldn't- Lucius would ask questions, but before he could answer his fucking arm lit up with fire.

"Fuck I'm dead" Regulus said tentatively, showing his arm to his best friends who looked at him with wide eyes. Well- it wasn't changing much, he was almost dead, with the blood loss, and the wounds.

"Shit-we're coming with you," said Evan, literally ready to die for him, with him.
And no- not any chance. They would not die for him.

"No- Evan stop."

"Regulus shut the fuck up- we're coming with you" Barty had a strange light in his eyes, sure, they'd probably be martyr, dying with him, but he'd fight the man with his teeth.

"No Barty- no- you can't" he said with difficulty, blood still trickling from his robes.
"Patch me up- as well as you can. You stay here and-" he bit his lip.
Shit- he had spent his whole life hiding, wishing for his end to come, and now that it was actually coming he was going to cry like a baby.

But he was twenty , wasn't he?
Twenty years old and so many mistakes behind him.
Twenty years and a plan for revenge to be executed.
Twenty years and a lot of excuses to give, to James, to Lily, to Sirius.
Twenty years and a life to live. A destiny to write.

But at least he would die with the knowledge that he had saved Harry.
That Harry was safe because of him, and so were his parents.

"Stay here and search for horcruxes- okay? Listen- I don't have time to explain- Horcruxes Barty, okay? You are witty and a swot, so you can. You were one of the best and Voldemort's right arm when he needed for someone with knowledge, so you must know and find the Horcruxes, okay?"

They disagreed. "Move, you'll run. We'll make you run. We can give you some head start. You'll go to the Potters, you just saved them so it's only right to-"
Regulus could see it in their eyes that they were scared. Evan wasn't looking at him and he didn't know if it was because he was about to burst into tears or because he was pissed at him.

"They didn't even want to see me and-"

"Who fucking cares Regulus!" Barty screamed at him and he almost flinched. "Who fucking cares Regulus, I want you alive and if it takes for me to- threaten those assholes who think they know everything, I'll do it. I'll do it right now!"

"I'm a Death Eater, I have his mark on my skin! They'll torture me to death! Barty be logical! At least you!" The voice cracked at the end.
No Regulus- you- you couldn't cry.

"I- I don't- I don't care-" Barty started to cry and- right now it was too much.
Barty was lightly punching him on the chest, he was not hurting him, but he felt everything duplicated- the pain of his best friend in his bones. "I want you to stay alive- I need you to stay alive."

Barty was crying for him.

The same man who didn't cry when his fucking father beat him to a pulp was crying for him.
The same man who didn't care about death, who faced the punishment of Voldemort with a wide grin, was crying for him.

"It's- it's okay Barty. It's okay- I save them right? So- I have fulfilled my-"

"Do- please just shut up Black. They- did they deserve it? I hope so. DID THEY DESERVE IT?" Barty screamed with tears along his cheeks, he watched him for some seconds, then he moved to heal some of his wounds, trembling.

"Yes- yes they did. They deserve this and more" he said convinced and for the first time Evan watched him in the eyes. He was crying too. Tears running down his face while he understood. Barty nodded and so did Evan while he passed a hand on his shoulder. "Cover those you can't heal" he added after a bit and Barty nodded efficiently, wiping his tears from his face.

That was one good thing about being best friends with the smartest person in school.

"Dickhead" he heard him mutter, but his arm kept burning, so he mus go. Their time was finished. The call was important, the matter serious. But neither Barty nor Evan were being called so- well he thought himself too smart- too powerful.
He thought he could defeat him.
But- he almost laughed- how- how fool had he been?
Idiot. But at least he saved them.

"Can- can't we go to your brother?" Barty said suddenly.

"Barty you literally hate my brother"

"As a matter of fact, I think I already said that I don't fucking care. I can kidnap him and get you addicted to a fucking polyjuice potion for years with his hair, for what it matters to me. I already have some in the backyard" Barty explained quite calmly and he widened his eyes for some minutes.

"That's- well that's pretty ingenious Barty-and scaring- but we are not doing that. I made my choice and-"

"You are giving me an headache Regulus. Are you sure you weren't sorted in Gryffindor? With these values you could have been one easily." And he rolled his eyes, how dramatic.

"Yes well you are the one being irrational"

"Why- why are you accepting this- so easily? It's wrong of me to- to not want my best friend to die?"

"No- no Barts- I didn't say that- it's-" he shook his head, he didn't want to cry. Not in front of them, not when they were so stressed and tired and depressed by him. "I don't know, I don't see other solutions. I- I have made my choices, I decided to follow him, to fuck up my cover, to save the Potters. This is what I deserve." He coughed again.

"You-" Evan shook his head "you didn't deserve any of this- you were forced to- nothing- okay Regulus if this is what you want, we can only support you- even though- I don't want you to die Reg-" Evan stopped his speech but he didn't have to continue to make him understand what he was implying- but there was no time.

Too much time had already passed. He must go.
He couldn't let them hurt because of him.

"It's- It's all right- it's all good- it'll be soon. Thank you" Barty nodded, still not looking him in the eye. "I'm not just thanking you for this - but - for everything. You were-" he said, his voice cracking. "Thank you guys- you were the best. Win this war for me. And take care of him please." He said thinking at Harry, at his smile, at his green eyes.

Their bond hadn't lasted that long in the end.
Better that way- he didn't want Harry to have anything to do with people like him- impure- broken- monsters.

"Regulus-" Evan tired to say at the end but he couldn't. He couldn't hear them say their goodbyes. He couldn't stay there and watching them cry, for a dead man.
So he just disappeared.

"I love you" he whispered in thin air, and he hoped they knew, he hoped the understood how much they had been important to him. Even though they didn't share much about emotions or feelings, they were there in his worst moments, they accepted him even when he was broken and bruised and at the bottom.
They were there when he took the mark and they didn't leave him, they hugged him while he cried, they protested him when he needed the most.
And he did the same to them.
For this he would always be grateful to Barty and Evan..

"We love you too" he heard a whistle in the atmosphere. He closed his eyes in his last moments before arriving at the right place.
Everything went black for a second, until it wasn't anymore.
Regulus finally opened his eyes.

He was ready, wasn't he?