Eclipsed

Remus slowly blinked his eyes open, wincing against the afternoon sun filtering through the blinds. His head throbbed with a dull ache, and every breath sent waves of pain radiating not only in his head, but through his back and hips as well. Confusion clouded his mind as he struggled to piece together where he was, and what had happened. He’d already figured that it was the day after the moon, although he couldn’t remember coming back to the hospital wing. He was alone, though, and the way he was hurting was particularly intense, especially after nearly a year of easy transformations thanks to his friends and their Animagus abilities, so it meant something must’ve happened. 

Though Remus usually tried to ask as little from the school's healer as he could, over feeling guilty for the amount of time she spent tending to him each month, he was truly feeling so terrible that he needed her as soon as she could come. "Madam Pomfrey?" he croaked,  hoping that she would hear him. Luckily, she had, and the matron bustled over to his bedside. 

"Remus, you're awake, thank goodness. How are you feeling?"

“I… my back hurts, it’s–” he began, but when he tried to wriggle into a more comfortable position, Madame Pomfrey’s arms were pressing him down. 

“Please, love, don’t do that. We had to immobilize your back and hips- we think that the wolf slammed itself against the wall and door last night until it knocked itself out. You’ve done some serious damage to your back, and to that hip again, and you probably have a bit of a concussion.” 

Swallowing his pride, he met her eyes, filled with a mixture of exhaustion and desperation. "Honestly, I don't know if I've ever felt this bad," he confessed, his voice strained with discomfort. "Is... is there anything I can take? Please?"

Pomfrey sighed, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry, love, we'll have to wait another hour or so before I can give you another dose." 

Remus's heart sank at the news. Tears threatened to spill from the corners of his eyes, but he fought to keep them at bay, not wanting to appear weak, or needy."Oh... O-ok," he managed, and as if she could read his mind, Pomfrey quickly summoned a small, cool cloth, and laid it across his head.

“Hopefully this will help for now,” she said to him, before taking a seat in the small bedside chair. 

Remus closed his eyes, humming in acknowledgement. He wished he could sleep, but the discomfort wouldn’t let him. 

“D’you know where my friends are?” he asked her. “Classes are probably done for the day, right?” 

"Your friends… they're safe, Mr. Lupin, but–" she began gently, but he cut her off. 

"What is it? What happened?" he asked urgently, eyes open wide as a feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach.

The matron's eyebrows creased, and she sighed, dreading the inevitable conversation. "Remus, I’m not quite sure how to tell you this… there was an incident last night, after you’d transformed.” 

Remus’ heart seized. "What happened? Where are my friends?" 

Pomfrey hesitated, her gaze flickering with sympathy before she continued. "Severus Snape found out about your condition, Remus" she said softly. "He confronted your friends, and… there was an altercation in the tunnel.”

Remus felt a cold shiver run down his spine. Snape knew? The realization sent a wave of panic coursing through him. "How… how did he find out?" he managed to ask, his voice trembling.

Madam Pomfrey shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid I don't have all the details," she admitted. "But you need to focus on resting and letting your body heal."

“But… nobody was hurt, right?” 

“You were the only one hurt last night, Remus."

Tears welled up in Remus's eyes, blurring his vision as he struggled to process the weight of the situation. While he was relieved that nobody else had been injured, the knowledge that Snape, of all people, now knew his secret sent a chill down his spine.

What would Snape do with that information? Would he tell the school, or just use that information to make Remus’ life a living hell? Were Remus’ worst fears about to come true? Would he be expelled from Hogwarts, branded as a danger to the school? Or worse, would he be handed over to the authorities, sent to Azkaban for risking the lives of an entire school of students?

As panic gripped him, Remus's breaths grew shallow and ragged, his chest tightening with anxiety. Madam Pomfrey, well-versed in dealing with Remus's panic attacks after years of tending to him, acted swiftly. She placed a comforting hand on his chest, urging him to take slow, deep breaths, but his distress only seemed to escalate.

"Please," he pleaded, unconsolable. "I need to see Sirius,” he cried, words tumbling out in a frantic rush, “or any of– or James or–or Pete, please. I need to make sure– I can't be alone right now!" 

Pomfrey's heart ached for him. She did her best to offer comfort him, gently smoothing back his hair and wiping away his tears as she spoke soothingly to him.

“I’m so sorry your friends can’t be here, love, but you’re not alone. I’m here, and everything will be okay,” she reassured him, wishing that she could give him another calming drought without risking an accidental overdose.

Despite her best efforts, Remus's desperation only seemed to intensify, and after nearly fifteen minutes of fighting through the panic attack, he finally broke. “I– I need my mam, please,” Remus sobbed, in pain, and scared, and confused. 

With that, Madam Pomfrey's own composure wavered. After Remus had exhausted himself with tears, she took a rare step. For the first time in her tenure at Hogwarts, she approached the fireplace, her fingers trembling slightly as she reached for the Floo powder.

“Minerva, could you kindly contact the Lupins? I think it would be really good for Remus if they could come,” she requested, the lightness of her voice covering the way her heart was sinking. 

 Lily pushed the heavy doors of the hospital wing open with the side of her hip on Saturday morning, arms full of Arithmancy and Ancient Runes assignments for Remus, who’d been absent from classes since Wednesday. While Lily had become accustomed to his frequent absences, she couldn’t remember the last time he’d missed more than two days in a row; in fact, if it weren’t for his random disappearances, she would’ve probably forgotten that he even had such a weak immune system. 

Since the Gryffindor boys seemed to be having some sort of spat, Lily didn’t bother to ask them what was going on with Remus. After not seeing him for three days, during which he’d also missed their weekly patrols and prefect meeting, Lily figured the right thing to do would be to come see him and offer help catching up on their assignments. While they’d argued quite a bit this year, she was determined to repair their friendship, which meant going the extra mile. 

Lily wandered through the hospital wing peering curiously at all the different posters and little jars of potions that were meticulously organized on the walls and shelves. Approaching Remus’ regular hospital wing room, Lily's steps faltered as she heard unfamiliar voices from within. She paused, unsure whether to announce herself or retreat. Ultimately, she opted for the former and rapped lightly on the door.

"Come in," a gentle voice called out, and Lily pushed open the door tentatively. Stepping inside, she found herself face to face with a woman she had never met before, yet somehow recognized instantly as Hope Lupin. 

Hope sat on the edge of the bed, her fingers twisting anxiously in her lap. Sitting across from her in the visitor’s chair, Lyall Lupin's expression remained inscrutable, his gaze fixed on Lily as she cautiously entered the room. Meanwhile, Remus, propped up by pillows on the bed, appeared uncomfortable but in decent spirits.

"Hello, you must be Mr. and Mrs. Lupin," Lily greeted them, mustering a cheerful tone despite the tension in the air. "I'm Lily, one of Remus' housemates. We're co-prefects this year."

Recognition flickered in Hope's eyes, and Lyall offered a nod of acknowledgment.

"Lily, of course! Remus has told us so much about you," Hope said warmly.

Remus blushed, casting his eyes downward. "Mam, please," he protested, before glancing back at Lily. "Only good things, I promise."

Lily grinned. "Right, Lupin, whatever you say." She extended the stack of work she had brought. "I brought you this—your Runes and Arithmancy assignments from the past week."

Remus offered a half-smile, and Hope gratefully accepted the papers from Lily's outstretched hand.

"Thank you, Lily. It's good to know Remus has people to look out for him when he's not well," Hope remarked, her gaze shifting to her son, who had relaxed slightly, his eyes drifting between them.

"Of course, Mrs. Lupin," Lily replied, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I was going to offer to work through some of it with you, Remus, but since you've got company, I can come back another time."

"We were just leaving anyway," Lyall interjected, his deep voice resonating in the room. "Remus had better get caught up on his schoolwork." He turned to his son, who looked less than enthused about the prospect.

In Welsh, Lyall said something to Remus, prompting an eye roll and a sharp retort from his son. Hope's gaze darted between them nervously throughout their continued exchange, before addressing the two in Welsh, her tone admonishing.

"Ein gwestai?" she reminded them, causing both Lyall and Remus to adopt sheepish grins, realizing they had excluded Lily from their conversation.

“Sorry… Lily, was it?” Lyall quickly said, before turning to his son. “Take care of yourself, mab, alright?” 

Remus nodded, and his father stood from the chair, offering a hand to his wife as she hopped off the bed. 

“We love you, cariad,” she said, in that sad way moms always do when saying goodbye, before leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “If anything changes, you–”

“Yes, I know, Mam,” he said quickly, “I know.” 

“Thank you for bringing Remus his work, Lily. It was nice to meet you.” Lyall offered her another polite nod, while Hope scooped Lily into a hug.

"Thank you, Lily. Make sure Remus keeps still, won’t you? Madame Pomfrey says he shouldn’t be moving around too much." 

Lily nodded, offering a sympathetic smile. "I’ll do my best. It was nice meeting you both."

With that, the Lupins said their goodbyes and left the room, leaving Lily alone with Remus once more. She plopped herself down on the chair, and Remus waited until the door clicked shut before turning to Lily, a solemn expression on his face.

“Thanks, for bringing me my work,” he said, reaching for the papers on the bedside table and beginning to flip through them. “But I can work these out on my own. No need to waste a Saturday on me.”

Lily scoffed. “It’s not a waste of a Saturday, Remus, it’s what friends do.” 

Remus’ gaze fell from his schoolwork to a spot on the sheet, and he slowly lowered the papers, taking a deep, grounding breath before looking up to meet Lily’s eyes.  

"Lily, there's something very important I need to tell you," he began, his voice shaking

“What is it, Remus?" she asked gently, reaching for his hand. 

Remus hesitated, his gaze shifting between Lily's face and the floor, uncertainty evident in his expression. "I want you to hear it from me first, before anyone else has the chance to say anything," he began slowly, his words measured and deliberate. "There was an incident on Wednesday night, with Snape–" Lily bristled, ready to interject with a snide remark, but Remus raised a hand to stop her. "Please, let me finish– and Snape found out that I am- I am a werewolf."

Lily's eyes widened in surprise, her breath catching in her throat as she processed the revelation. She fought against the urge to pull away, and clung tighter to his hand to show her support.

"A werewolf?" she echoed, the word feeling foreign and surreal as it left her lips. Remus didn't fit the stereotype she associated with werewolves. He was studious, with a sharp sense of humor, constantly ill, and always falling asleep over his books. He was gentle with the first years and friendly with almost everyone… he didn’t seem like a werewolf to her. “Since when?” 

"I was bitten when I was almost five," Remus explained, watching her closely for her reaction. "I didn’t think I’d be able to come to school, but Dumbledore made special arrangements to make sure it was safe for everyone with me being here."

Lily furrowed her brow, still trying to make sense of what he was telling her. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, her curiosity piqued. "Like, to make sure you don’t bite anyone?"

“Exactly that.” Remus looked down at his hands, the weight of his words heavy in the air. "I go to… to a private place to transform, away from the school, and it's guarded so no one can get in. James, Sirius, and Peter found out, but they promised not to tell."

Lily furrowed her brow in confusion. "So, how did Snape find out then?"

A strange, sad expression flickered across Remus' face as he withdrew his hand, pulling it tightly to his chest. "Snape... he's been... Well, you know he doesn't exactly get along with James or Sirius, or any of us Gryffindors really. Except for you, I guess. And since you and I started getting along again, he's been even more upset with me, and with all of us, honestly." He paused, choosing his words carefully.“That doesn’t excuse what happened, of course, but I just wanted you to have some context before I go on.” 

Lily kept her gaze fixed on him, urging Remus to go on. 

“So he’s been asking where I go when I’m sick and making little remarks, trying to make me squirm, or trying to provoke James and Sirius. I reckon he's had his suspicions for a while, but he wanted concrete confirmation, you know?” 

Lily nodded. Severus had been asking a lot about Remus lately, about his comings and goings… honestly if she’d cared enough to keep track of when Remus had missed meetings or patrols, she could’ve pieced the puzzle together as well.  

“But anyways, Sirius has been going through a- a hard time, I guess, since getting kicked out… and, I mean, you know he’s been hanging out with Dearborn and Fenwick and that crowd, and I guess Snape caught him at a time where he was too fucked up to think straight, and so Sirius told him how to find me when I was transformed.” Remus hesitated, his voice growing thick.  “He told James and Peter what he did though before it was too late, and they stopped him from getting too close, and stopped me from, well, you know… But I could’ve killed him.” 

Lily didn't know what to say, her heart aching for her friend.  "That’s… That’s really awful, Remus."

Remus looked away. “James and Peter told me everything yesterday. I just wanted you to hear this all from me before Snape told you about me being a monster, and a liar, and a murderer. I know he will.” 

Lily huffed, “Remus–” she began, but he cut her off. 

"I know. I’m sorry for lying to you all this time. You don’t have to speak to me anymore, or even pretend to be my friend. I’ll say it was me, that I did something wrong, but please just don’t tell anyone, Lily. I need school. I can’t have it taken away, and if people find out, they’ll send the registry after me, I’ll be thrown in Azkaban… I—"

Lily caught him by surprise with a hug—firm enough to be felt but gentle enough not to jostle his injuries. He froze, and she pulled away, staying close enough that he couldn’t help but look right at her.

"Remus, it’s awful what happened to you. You’re not awful!" Remus stared at her, wide-eyed and surprised at her reaction. "Severus pried into your personal life and medical history. Sirius was drunk enough to reveal one of your most private secrets to someone who actively tries to make your life more difficult. And it looks like you’ve beaten yourself up so badly in the process that you’re going to miss more school this week than you have all year." Remus’s lip began to tremble, and Lily’s hands squeezed his arms for emphasis. "You are a wonderful person, Remus. You’ve done nothing wrong."

"I didn’t know what to expect. I thought you might hate me."

Lily shook her head, her eyes soft with understanding. "Remus John Lupin. I could never hate you. How could I?” She suddenly smiled, a mischievous glisten in her eye. “Plus, if you get carted off to Azkaban, who’s gonna get me snacks from the kitchen during late-night rounds?” 

Remus smiled. “You bitch. I knew you had ulterior motives.” 

“What can I say? I’m a slag for a good biscuit.” Lily smiled at him reassuringly. "Now, let’s get through these assignments. I’ll help you catch up, and we’ll take it one step at a time. You’ve got this, Remus."

As they settled in to go over the schoolwork, Remus let himself forget about Sirius, forget about Snape, and forget about being a werewolf for just a little while, and lost himself in the numbness and repetition of numbers and translations. Emotions could wait until tomorrow.