Dudes and Dudettes

Potion was the one class every first year seemed to be dreading, except for Severus Snape, who relished in the suffering of others, Remus thought, especially the Gryffindors who would share the class with Slytherin. And what's worse, Professor Slughorn, who taught the class, was the head of Slytherin and known for playing favourites, hopefully it was the first of the year he didn't have any yet.

But those hopes would come crashing down quickly when they sat in the classroom, which to Remus' fright was literally in the dungeons, he thought that even in St. Edmund he wasn't sent to a dungeon. As soon as they arrived, Professor Slughorn was already chatting it up with one of the Slytherin kids, the odd one, what was his name, Remus though hard and long until Sirius was the one who got it, Alexander, apparently they'd known each other before Hogwarts. His family was some sort of big deal in the ministry of magic, which Remus had learned was the governing body of the British Magical World or something, Sirius went on saying he wasn't the main line and how his older cousin something and how some other things Remus had stopped paying attention to him. He did look 100% the part of one of those slytherin kids who would attempt to bully him, pale, green eyes, brown hair, but just like when he bumped into him, he seemed to have remembered the bump from the station because as soon as he saw Remus he started to touch the bump to see if it was still there--it was.

Professor Slughorn felt different from the other teachers, older and rounder as well, but more importantly, his eyes seemed to survey the room, a few moments on every single student as he called for attendance. A few moments longer in the potions station where James, Sirius, Peter and Remus decided to sit. More importantly, after his introductory remarks, he said that rumours of an incident in the halls reached him and although he didn't know the culprits, Remus felt relief like few times in his life, he would pick the pairs they'd work in for the whole term.

For some godforsaken luck, he put Sirius and James together, Lily and Alexander, Snape ended up being paired with Mary, poor girl, bound to be trouble, Peter wound up with Serena, which was just the worse news for everyone, and Remus was stuck with Marlene, Lily was actually the only one with a positive reaction on that last one.

She didn't talk much, and Remus didn't either, so after exchanging nothing more than a low "Hi" they sat down in silence. The stations were big enough for four people and miraculously Lily ended up on the opposite side of him, Alexander as well, could've been worse, it could've been Serena and Peter.

Slughorn had them brew a simple cure for boils as sort of an appraisal, seeing who had a knack for potions surely, and who was not.

Marlene pulled out her book and started reading, Remus waited for her instructions, better not to try to read and botch it up like he always did.

Lily and Alexander were much chattier, she seemed to take well to him even if he was a Slytherin, Snape was looking like he wasn't having a good time, his potion was impeccable according to Slughorn, but his face was more sour than usual. A welcome sight if you asked Remus.

Mary didn't even cross words with him. She seemed to have retired to looking down on her stool. Odd, but who wouldn't be if they were that close to Severus Snape.

Sirius and James managed... to not get one single thing right. However brilliant they had shown themselves in other classes, and they had, potions was about precision and patience, qualities which neither of them had. The potion was meant to look light blue and creamy, James and Sirius managed to get a green slime that bubbled. Slughorn was somewhat impressed at them, they said afterwards, failed to mention he was impressed they didn't blow the dungeons up.

"Remus!" James called him, trailed by Peter and Sirius. They caught up to him, "we've finally got it," he told him.

"Got what?"

"Our first prank, one that will get Snape out of your hair for good." Sirius said giddily. Remus wasn't fond of being helped out, in the least, but aren't the enemies of your enemies your friends?

It was simple but elegant, a charm James had learnt from his father, they just had to wait for the next potions class. And that was only one day away.

Charms was the next class, with the Hufflepuffs thankfully, couldn't take two classes with the Slytherins back to back, Remus would throw himself off the Astronomy Tower, surely, or worse, he'd throw someone else and get expelled. Remus found they came quite easily to him, even easier than to James and Sirius, who were naturals at most everything, not like Peter, he was only naturally anxious. But they all seemed to pale in comparison of Lily Evans, the brightest witch her age, he'd heard someone say--it was a slythein girl mocking her, but she might not have been too far from the truth.

They were meant to lift a book, a simple levitation charm, which according to the short professor Flitwick, was as easy as charms came. Remus got it on the first try, lifted the book perfectly, Lily however seemed to be able to move it around as well, not just raise it in place, James and Sirius managed to lift it after a few tries, but the real competition was between Remus and Lily, something the professor was keen to observe. Remus noticed that girl who was sorted girl was in the class with them, too, Charlotte. She seemed to be struggling a bit, kept readjusting her glasses, which wasn't going to help, her problem was with how she moved her wand, or opposite actually, it was too stiff, thought Remus. Lily seemed to not only have thought that but also approached her to suggest it. Earning ten points for Gryffindor.

Remus didn't think he could ever get used to how good the food was, dinner was spectacular, the roasted chicken was perfect, on point, the mashed potatoes had the perfect consistency and having skipped his veggies, Remus had two helpings of the trifle they'd magic'ed up for dessert. How did they even make the food? Remus wondered between servings. But nothing came of it but Sirius insisting he read Hogwarts: A History, a book about, well with a pretty self-explanatory title. Remus brushed it off, he wasn't that curious he said.

"Does anyone know how to get to the library?" Sirius asked as they all readied themselves for bed.

"It's too late to leave either way Black," James called.

"So you don't know it, Potter," he called him out, "what about you Remus?"

"He's Remus and I'm Potter, hardly seems fair."

"He hasn't just been a prick to me,"

"I'll walk you tomorrow if you shut up for tonight."

"Thank you, Lupin. See Potter, he was just a little bit of an arse, so I thanked him AND didn't use his given name."

"And completely ignored the shutting up part." The muffled voice came through his pillow into the room.

Most of the nights were spent like that up until now. The moon wasn't full until next week, he kept reminding himself, he wasn't like them, he had to watch out for that, never let you guard down.

The next day, which was overall the fourth day of classes went on very easy, only Transfiguration class seemed to call for much more attention than the rest if they meant to pass the class, McGonagall was as strict and stern as you'd expect her from the first day. Ruthless even, caught Alexander, that odd boy, reading something that didn't pertain to the class and took a few points from Slythein, which again, thrilled James more than everyone else. We still hadn't got around to practice, McGonagall insisted that it was easier and most dangerous to mess up transfiguration, so we had to have the theory nailed down to the letter before starting to try to transform anything into anything else.

Finally it was the class James could not shut up about since the Hogwarts Express, Flying.

A bunch of brooms were lined up in the back fields of the school, first time Remus headed over this side of the castle. Madame Hooch, the flying instructor had everyone line up, and after a long safety flying speech, had everyone command their broom to fly to their hand, before actually flying. This is where you noticed the difference between those who grew up in the magical world those who didn't. Snape made a snide remark along those lines, which made a few slytherin around him giggle, Serena and Mulcifer among them.

It took a moment for everyone to get it right, a good, long moment. Remus wasn't fond of heights, he hadn't had enough time to emotionally process the next instruction, mount your broom and fly one lap around the courtyard without falling.

James didn't take more than a second to speed off, he was fast on a broom, determined, like a bullet through the air. Serena behind him, if James was a bullet, she was a cannon ball, and Remus wouldn't like to be on the receiving end again. Marlene wasn't far behind them either, but where they seemed fast, she was steady and deliberate, knowing her moves, something that could only come from actual experience, even managed to tie her blonde hair into a ponytail while flying. He couldn't help but noticing how Sirius rode the broomstick, he was just as easy as the rest on the broom, but much more elegant, graceful, almost like he was dancing or ice skating, Remus thought.

"On you go Mr. Lupin, Mr. Wilde." They seemed to be the only ones who hadn't, which didn't make a lot of sense on Remus' head, Wilde was a pureblood according to Sirius, so why wouldn't he fly with the rest? Remus decided to give it a shot, it couldn't be that hard.

"That's right, just were you belong Lupin, below." That raspy sewage drain voice could only come from one greasy prick, Snape. Mulcifer behind him, that's where all his courage came from, Remus figured.

James had already finished the lap.

Madame Hooch seemed too busy arguing with Alexander about him not doing it because he was tired and already knew how to fly to notice what was going on. So James sped past Snape and Mulcifer, and with the help of an unknowing Serena who was still racing James. Remus just knew it was on purpose, because they passed just close enough to mess up their balance.

Snape fell backwards to the floor. Muclifer forwards.

"Just head out Wilde. No racing!" She finally closed in on the situation. "Potter! Wagner! Slow down!"

No one got in trouble, Remus thought it was a miracle, but the best part was how Sirius fell from his broom when he saw Snape's face had landed in a mud-pile. Hands and feet in the air, laughing like a little kid. "Merlin bless the august rains!"

"You're such a bully, Black!" Lily landed soon enough after he saw the commotion.

After that, James offered some help to Remus, who only managed to get only a few feet in the air, but got around to do the lap around the yard, which as Madame Hooch was concerned, was enough.

Finally, time for potions class came again.

Sirius had already looked up what they needed to research and James only needed a minute to get the charm there. Mary had called in sick, Lily had told professor Slughorn, which green-lit the whole thing even more in the eyes of the Gryffindor boys.

"Still smell like mud Snape, did you not shower yesterday? Or just your natural aroma?"

"Remus, that's mean!" Lily called him out.

Snape eyed him with disgust, "I still don't need to be on a broom to know you're below me, Lupin."

"You too Sev!" Lily gasped, Alexander seemed to be enjoying the show while Slughorn was busy actually trying to give his class.

"I don't know how you can be friends with someone like him, he just snivels to a teacher any chance he gets because he can't even solve his own issued."

"Snivellus!" Sirius cracked and started laughing.

"Shush!" Slughorn called without paying attention at all. Sirius kept giggling.

"Snivellus Snape, now that just fits you right," Remus pushed it.

"You're worse than that Black! Blood traitor!"

James pushed Sirius' elbow and shot a look at Remus. He was done, but Sirius was just getting started.

"What did you call me SNIVELLUS?" he'd clearly stoke a cord. A power you should never give someone like Snape. Remus heard the blood rushing to Sirius' head. And he had no idea what blood traitor implied, but it had to be bad, enough for Remus to get mad as well.

"Enough!" Slughorn finally turned around, "Next one to speak gets a week's worth detention scrubbing the stables!"

The class went on without so much as a whisper between them, save a few excited giggles from Sirius and James. Peter was biting his nails the whole time, weather it was from anticipation for the prank to set off or from having to work with Serena, Remus wasn't in the know.

"I don't think we need any willow seeds, do we?" Lily conferred with Alexander after catching Snivellus grab a handful of them. She double checked with the book, and Alexander hadn't the faintest guess, he just shrugged, "He's mad about potions, always going off about them, maybe he's got a family recipe or something."

"Best to just follow the textbook," their whispered conference finished.

"The class was almost over, time was running out for their potions to be ready, Lily and Alexander finished first, earning a horrible side-eye from Snivellus, who Lupin heard muttering a few nasty comments under his breath. Remus and Marlene weren't far behind, neither of them had the best proclivity for potions, but they'd paid enough attention to Slughorn to follow his lead.

There was, however, not any third place, since without any prior notice, Snape's cauldron started bubbling up, a yellow puss that smelled so horribly foul. Snape peaked into his cauldron at just the right moment, the nasty substance blasted up from his cauldron, the slimy puss covering Snivellus, the two other kids in the working station, and the whole working station.

"Seven Day Stench," Sirius had explained the other day, was a nasty potion, mostly useless in the real world but nasty to deal with, make anything it touched smell like rubbish and yuck for seven days, as it's name suggested. "Just pair that up with your funny charm," he nodded at James, whose funny charm was one that switched the words in a book for others. A complicated way to swap recipes, thought Remus, but his mate's excitement was contagious, "and BAM!"

Lily gasped. Remus blocked his nose with his hands, laughter covered as well. Even Marlene couldn't help but whisper "Karma" to herself. Apparently she was also at odds with Snape for some reason.

"This is why you don't bicker in class!" Slughorn reprimanded Snape, "You're following instructions on the wrong potion, ten points from Slytherin, and you're cleaning this up." The hatred in Snape's eyes was murderous, he knew it had been them, even if he couldn't prove it.

Peter finally laughed with them once he was out of Serena's reach, who was quite irritated at the loss of points from her house.

"Job well done fellas!" James cheered as they rallied up in their bedroom.

"Mischief managed, mates!" Sirius joined in, cheering with an imaginary cup. Always the poet. Even Peter couldn't help but be proud of the prank, even if he'd done nothing but chime in with anxious remarks about not getting caught.

Maybe they not just my enemies' enemies, maybe they're just friends. The thought crossed Remus' mind as he saw the other boys wrapped up in a parade of their own making. He joined the celebration, he might even have fun here.