The talk
To no fault of his own, Hadrian had to admit that the last three days his head hadn’t exactly been in its usual state. That was his excuse for not noticing the misplacement of his one important item, his beloved rosary. After the incident in the classroom with the loud trio, Hadrian's friends had become permanently attached to his side. Not that Hadrian was starting to mind, he selfishly adored the care he was being given, imagining how long he could have had attention like this if he wasn't an orphan. Or insanely skeptical of new people.
The missing rosary came to Hadrian's attention at breakfast four days after its disappearance. Hadrian had been feeling particularly stressed, what with Umbridge really sinking her teeth in the past few days, so as he always did,he slowly placed his hand in his pocket to grasp at the familiar item. But it was gone. Hadrian's face dropped, unclaping and reclasping his hand repeatedly in his pocket as if the rosary would suddenly appear.
The slytherins quickly took notice of Hadrian's now pale face with immense concern. Goyle and Crabbe looked comically confused, much like a character in a kids comic strip that you’d see in a muggle newspaper.
“What's wrong?” Crabbe asked, his mouth disgustingly full of food.
Hadrian turned to face the boy, slightly taken aback by the revolting sight.
The rest of the slytherins turned to face Crabbe as Hadrian did. Shocked that the boy would speak with his mouth so full and slightly stunned that he hadn’t even tried to beat around the question at all.
“Crabbe that is disgusting.” Tracy spat from her seat in front of the boy, her face recoiling in disgust.
“Huh? Oh sorry.” Crabbe asked quickly, realizing the amount of food in his mouth and quickly swallowing it away in shame.
“Are you alright though?”Goyle now asked, turning away from his best friend who continued eating.
Hadrian couldn't speak, too focused on trying to remember the last time he had his rosary in his hand. Fighting between feeling guilty at not noticing sooner of its disappearance and feeling insanely dumb at losing it in the first place. So with breakfast nearly done, Hadrian quickly left the table, grabbing his bag as he did and leaving.
Over the next two days, Hadrian searched as often as he could, retracing his steps as best he could what with not knowing when he lost the rosary in the first place. The library was large, the classrooms too busy and crowded for a decent search. Hadrian was starting to lose hope. His heart was aching, in a way it had when he first came to hogwarts. Without his link to normal life, Hadrian started to feel uneasy, wishing more than anything that he could go ‘home’. He wanted to pray, but now he was too afraid that losing an item which connected him closer to God that he and his prayers would inevitably be overlooked.
Hadrian’s friends were watching on in concern, something was pulling Hadrian back to being his recluse self and it unsettled them all. Years of watching over Potter and finally being able to call him a friend and not even a few weeks later and he was nearly gone again. What had happened? Crabbe had been right, something was wrong, if only Hadrian would tell them, maybe at least then they could help.
Over the last week Lupin had been at constant war with his emotions, trying to come up with some reasonable conclusion over it all. He had been avoiding Black, thankful of their seperate rooms in the school a lot at that moment. Black had been trying to gain his attention, as irritating as it had been. His watching of Hadrian had only gotten worse, as if the loss of Lupin led to him not holding himself back. Lupin all but wanted to run to Dumbledore. For what? To get the man to help him with Black? No, he’d be no more use then Black had been, if not worse. To help him with this new piece of information on Hadrian? No. After All if the man hadn’t known alread then Lupin wasn’t going to be the one to tell him.
Religion was not a new concept to Lupin, he had been raised as a muggle for quite a few years after all. He knew what Catholics were and he most certainly knew what a rosary was and how it was used. But for Hadran to have one? It didn’t make sense.
During his time at Hogwarts Lupin had been decently close to Lily Potter, he knew a lot about her despite that as James was all but infatuated with her and used to regularly report to them any little thing he heard about the girl. Which was working in his favor in a way. Petunia was a topic Lily had tried to avoid, although they had never really been told why, Lupin could only assume they didn't get along, some muggle relatives didn't always enjoy being outshined by a magical sibling most of the time as he had heard many people say. However he knows that Petunia was a catholic, a christian yes, but not a catholic and Lupin knew there was quite a bit of difference between the two. So for Hadrian to have a rosary, well it just didn't make sense. Sure maybe she had fueled the idea of god for the magical boy but that idea didn't feel right.
Selfishly, Lupin held onto the rosary as if the object would bring him some sort of answers. He watched Hadrian, trying to see if the boy would give anything away. Sadly Hadrian seemed to fit in with the slytherins far too well and had adopted quite a good mask on his emotions, too well for Lupin to see anything of use written on his face.
This was what led him to this moment, nearly a week after his discovery. He had been walking the halls, as he did most weekends,when he saw him. Hadrian wall walking at a somewhat fast pace in the direction he had just come from, but more importantly he was alone. Lupin felt the weight in his pocket, knowing that this was his moment, away from prying eyes and especially away from Black. So he called out to the boy.
“Mr. Potter!” Hadrian stopped his walking, looking like a deer in headlights as he turned to face the man who had called him. Collecting himself quickly as the man took the few steps between them to end up at his side.
“Can I help you professor?” Hadrian was uneasy, not only was he still on his search but now he was confused. Lupin only spoke to him in class, and he was pretty sure he hadn't done anything to warrant any conversation outside of it.
“Don’t worry Hadrian, you aren't in any trouble.” Lupin slightly chuckled out, although looking just as on edge as Hadrian.
“What do you need then sir?”
“I don't need anything Hadrian, I did however want to talk to you for a moment.” Lupin said, somewhat standing his ground as he did, Hadrian didn't see a way out of this so he agreed.
“Talk about what sir? My class work has been okay hasn't it?” Hadrian questioned.
“Yes Hadrian your work has been fine, no this is more.. well i don't know how to say it '' Lupin spoke with a hesitant tone before he continued on. “You see, the other day, when you were given some trouble leaving the class by Mr. Weasley, do you remember it?”
“Yes professor, what about it?” Hadrian was growing more suspicious by the minute? Had Weasley said something?
“After you and everyone else had left I noticed something, by where you had been pushed.” Lupin spoke, reaching into his pocket and pulling it out slowly as he spoke. Hadrian saw something in his hand, No it couldn't be.
“I believe you may have dropped this. Is it yours Hadrian?” Lupin questioned, his face showing a small tight lipped smile, as if he expected Hadrian to do something rash. Hadrian was stunned. Of course, it made sense. Lupin's class was the last time he had full on clutched at his rosary.
“Yes professor. that is mine.” Hadrian slowly moved his hand to grab at it, pausing just above Lupin's hand as he did. Locking eyes with the man, he gently took the rosary into his hand, running a thumb over its cross when he pulled it to his front. He was relieved, choosing to ignore Lupin's gaze as he released a cleansing sigh at being united with his beloved object. Slowly placing it back in its usual spot in his pocket.
Hadrian turned to look at his professor, skeptical of his every move. Had the man had this the whole time?
“Thank you sir, i was wondering where it had gone to” Hadrian said, trying to end the conversation and go on about his day, after all wherever Lupin was Black normally followed soon after.
“Your welcome Hadrian,” Lupin smiled. “It’s a rosary is it not?” And there it was, the question hadn’t wanted to be asked.
“Yes professor.” Hadrian confirmed his eyebrow slightly raising inquisition. Lupin was a wizard, how had he known what the rosary was?
“Ahh i was raised in the muggle world for quite a few years Hadrian, i'm very aware of the religion that the rosary is connected to.” Lupin chuckled out, seeming to have known what Hadrian was thinking. “What I'm more confused on is why exactly you have one?” Lupin locked eyes with his, a glint of wonder in his eyes, as if hoping for Hadrian to expose every thought to the man.
Hadrian couldn't bring himself to think of an answer, he had never been questioned about his faith in so little words before, let alone by a wizard.
“Are you religious then Hadrian? Are you a catholic?” Lupin asked, staring at Hadrian with his hands in his pockets and unmoving as he did. It unsettled Hadrian.
“Yes sir. I am.” Hadrian confirmed, biting his tongue as he did, unable to look away from Lupin yet feeling as if the mans gaze was all but turning him to stone.
“Ho-” “ Hadrian!”
Just as Lupin began to speak, a voice from the distance interrupted him. Draco and Pansy slowly made their way towards the conversing two. Quickly, the two appeared at Hadrian's side.
“Good day professor, I’m sorry but we need to go back to the common rooms. You know homework to do, gossip to spread.``Pansy whittled on, obnoxiously smiling as she did, slowly wrapping her hands around Hadrian's arm and pulling him away with a quick look at Lupin. Draco offered the stunned professor their goodbyes as the three made their way to the dungeons, making sure to not be too rude to the professor.
Lupin was silent, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to know more. How exactly had Hadrian become a catholic? and after a moment asked himself the right question. Was Hadrian even with Petunia? After all Dumbledore had said that Petunia was to be left to raise him in peace, but had the man even checked in during all those years? Lupin was starting to question otherwise.
As they left the professor standing in the hallway Pansy and Draco made sure to quickly get them all back to the common room, not wanting to ask him what Lupin wanted out in the open and in the presence of the rest of their group.
It didn't take too long before they were all sitting in their spot in the common room, the fire roaring beside them all. They had all been made aware of just how the two of them had found Hadrian in a conversation with Lupin and they were all curious.
“What did Lupin want Hadrian?” Theodore asked.
Hadrian didn't know what to say. For years Hadrian had kept his religion a secret, not only because of how seemingly religion free the wizarding world was but because it was muggle and if Hadrian had learnt anything it was that muggle things weren't a welcomed thing. Especially in his house. But with all the stares faced at him Hadrian couldn't do anything but tell them the truth. With a sigh he started to speak.
“Lupin was returning something to me. He wasn't doing anything bad, don't worry.” Hadrian reassured, however the looks his friends were giving that answer wasn't exactly a good one.
“Returning something? Returning what?” Millie asked.
The slytherins all stared at him, worried looks on their faces.
“Is that why you were so out of it? ‘Cause you lost something?” Goyle asked, everyone turning to him as he spoke, taking in his suggestion as they turned back to Hadrian.
“Yes, that day at breakfast I had finally noticed it was missing. Days after I actually lost it apparently.” Hadrian said, finally lifting his head as he spoke.
“When did you lose it?” Blaise asked.
“That day when Weasley shoved me as we were leaving Lupin and Black's class.”Hadrian's friend looked more annoyed, Draco shaking his head in disbelief and most likely anger.
“Of course it's that bloody Weasel's fault.” Draco huffed out.
“Ok we all know Weasley is an annoying ass but Hadrian what was it that you lost?” Millie asked, repeating her earlier question that Hadrian was trying to ignore. Hadrian screwed his eyes closed for a second as he started to take deep breaths, soon looking up as he once had, the expectant faces of his friends staring back at him in confusion and concern. Slowly he placed his hand in his pocket and grabbed his rosary, pulling it out.
“This is what I lost.” He said having wrapped it slightly around his hand and letting the rest of the length drop. His friends stared on in more confusion, obviously not knowing what it was. Hadrian didn't tear his eyes away from the rosary as he continued.
“This is a rosary… my rosary.” Hadiran sighed out, feeling uncertain as he did.
His friends looked at him, still heavily confused.
“What's a rosary? Just a weird necklace?” Daphne asked innocently. The rest of the group nodded in agreed confusion.
“Technically it's a necklace, yes, but it's a major part of my religion.” Hadrian stayed silent, letting the words soak in for his friends.
“Your religion?” Draco asked, turning in question to Hadrian as he did.
Hadrian knew he had a lot of explaining to do. He just didn't know where to start.