Chapter 2
-2001 university of California Berkely-
~(Yuri)~
oh god, my first day of university. the first day of the next four years of my life and I already feel like I'm going to be sucked up by the ground below me. the only thing saving me from running far into the wood and never being seen Again is dawn, my best friend of 4 years, we met in high school, and I think that was the day that for once I felt seen in a way, like I had someone that saw me for more than my chances of suffocation, but I feel as if dawn can't save me completely because guess who I saw from across campus, charley, of course there had to be a reason to make my life worse and not because I hate charley the exact opposite for exactly 7 year I have been hopelessly in love with him and not once in those 7 year do I think he even knew I existed. it's not like I think he should have because I was a complete loser, I had no friends, well not until dawn, I never went to any field trips,
I never went out of my house besides school, from the beginning of my life I was destined to being nothing.
To get my mind off seeing charley I went to lunch with dawn because we didn't have a lot of classes and were both done by 2. the lunch went well, and I neglected to tell her about seeing charley because she would be her usual optimistic self and say "hey well now you have another chance to talk to him" like I'm ever going to do that. and I bet if I ever did tell anyone else about how I've been hopelessly in love with the same guy for 7 years they would find and way to kill me so its best I don't. you know for years now people have been pretending that you can just do anything you want like just go out into the world and tell all your piers that you are a fucking loser in love with a guy who doesn't care about you.
I really do think that college will be good for me because the closer I get to being out of school and living off the grid as like a hunter or something and I would of course tell dawn all this and she would tell me all the pop culture events over tea because she would love to do that I truly think she is the only reason I'm not 20 years behind on current
events.
I sound like such and downer, but I swear I'm not it's just that starting new things are hard and even harder when you will have a constant reminder of your past.
~BYE~