don't think you knew you were in this song
(sirius)
It was Sirius’ last year at Hogwarts, and even though he was glad to finally get it over with, he had to admit he’d miss at least part of it. Said part being the Marauders.
They’d known each other since Year 8, when Sirius first arrived at school. James and Peter had met the year before that, but the fun only started when Sirius came along, too.
He remembered he had been crying on the train ride because he’d left his little brother alone and he was going to miss him. But then James walked in with Peter in tow. He hadn’t asked him why he was crying. He was just… nice. He told Sirius jokes and told him about the football team (which he was on) and cheered him up in general. When they found out they were rooming together, they were thrilled.
They’d got the nickname “the Marauders” when they decided to pull a prank on the school janitor (a dirty old man who genuinely hated the students with a burning passion) and got sent to the headmasters’ office. McGonagall had given them a whole speech (as she usually does) and at one point called them “a reckless bunch of marauders”. They thought it sounded really cool.
Sirius had spent a month that summer at James’s, and Peter had come over, too. They spent the days playing football (James had been named team captain at school, so naturally, they had to) and walking around James’s countryside village in Hampshire. He’d visited before, but a whole month away from his own home somewhere that wasn’t school was absolutely heaven. It was the best summer of his life. Well, until his mother had found out where he was. That had not been a pleasant ride home. Or a great rest of the summer.
The worst part about it, though, was that Regulus wasn’t talking to him.
Sirius had tried to reach out. Even during his stay at the Potter’s, he’d texted his brother to make sure he was okay. Regulus had replied coldly at first, and then just silence. When he got home he immediately went to check up on him, but he was met with a cold “What do you care?” and a door shut in his face.
Those were the last words Regulus had said to him.
Now, Sirius was walking with James and Peter to sit by the willow tree near the edge of the school grounds. The students called it the Whomping Willow, because there was a story going around that if you tried to climb it and jump the fence to get out, it’s fist-like branches would try to kick you off. Admittedly, it was probably something started by a teacher to stop the kids from running away off-campus, but it was surprisingly effective.
The Marauders used it as a hang-out spot and, occasionally, to smoke (if they were certain there weren’t any teachers around). Except for James, who made sure to keep healthy to be in peak condition for the football team. Sirius played, too, but for him it was much more casual. For James, football was everything. Football and Lily Evans, who he'd been pining for ever since his first year at Hogwarts, and who wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.
In their way to the tree, they passed Mary, who was Lily’s roommate.
“Oi, McDonald, have a good summer? Any boys who want to snog you back home?” Sirius yelled after her.
“Mind your business, Black,” she replied, smiling as always.
“Give Lily my love, will you, Mary?” James added, shooting his shot.
“In your dreams, Potter,” she answered.
Once they got far enough from her, James turned to Sirius and chuckled.
“What?” he exclaimed.
“Nothing, nothing,” James assured. “It’s just that you’re becoming less and less subtle by the day, Black.”
“How do you mean?” Sirius inquired, genuinely confused.
“Mary?” Peter joined in. “It’s obvious you fancy her.”
“Shut up, Peter, you know I don’t. That’s stupid.” Him? Fancying Mary?
“Everyone sees it, mate, is all I’m saying,” said James.
“Alright, you know what, first of all,” Sirius stopped walking and forced the others to, too. “Mary McDonald is a very respectable young woman, whom I’ve known for a few good years now. We have had our fun, over said years, and I consider her a very good friend. I have never once,” he accentuated the word when he noticed James opening his mouth, “thought about her in a romantic or anything other than platonic way. Second of all, you’re one to talk when the whole bloody school knows about you-“
He stopped abruptly, his gaze focusing on something behind Peter’s left shoulder.
“What?” James looked around, confused, until his eyes landed on the same thing. “Oh.”
Regulus was standing by the library. He was with his nasty little friends who always caused trouble (and not in a fun Marauder way, either, but more like picking on the smaller kids and getting into fights). But the part that hurt Sirius the most was that his brother looked completely fine. He was laughing at some stupid joke that prick Barty had made. He looked happier than Sirius had seen him in a long time.
“Sirius…” he heard James say.
Sirius shook his head. “It’s fine. Don’t worry. Er… you two go ahead. I think I have some assignments to finish,” he said.
He turned and walked away. From behind him, he heard Peter saying “But you never do your homework,” followed by the undeniable shriek of him getting elbowed by James and a hushed “cmon”.
***
It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected to see Regulus at school. They had gotten on the train together, for God’s sake. That would be downright stupid. It’s just that he hadn’t thought he’d be… fine. He hadn’t really thought the reason Regulus was so cold and distant towards Sirius was Sirius himself. Blame it on his huge ego, then.
He strutted swiftly across the mostly empty common room in his dorm and climbed the stairs in a hurry, holding back heavy tears.
He entered his dormitory in a hurry, but startled when he spotted another presence in the room.
It was the new guy. Remus, he’d said. He was lounging on his bunk bed, reading an old, battered copy of a book and eating a Mars bar.
Sirius had to admit that Remus seemed a bit weird, but Sirius also took a sort of peculiar liking to him. He was mysterious. Something to figure out.
In spite of all this, he had forgotten about the possibility of him being in the same room during Sirius’ nervous breakdown.
“Oh. Hi. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d… I can go if-“ Sirius stumbled.
“Oh, no, it’s fine. I, er…" Remus paused, seemingly just as surprised at Sirius' presence. "Are- are you okay?”
Sirius was confused at first, but then remembered why he was there in the first place and quickly wiped at his teary eyes.
“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine. It’s, uh, complicated, but it’s fine.”
Remus looked at him with an almost understanding look on his face. Sirius had never had someone look at him like that. He’d had pitiful. And merciful. But never understanding.
“Is that Bowie?” Sirius interrupted the moment, noticing there was music playing faintly in the background.
I heard telephones, opera house, favorite melodies
I saw boys, toys, electric irons and TVs
My brain hurt like a warehouse, it had no room to spare
“Yeah, you like him?” Remus asked.
“I love Bowie, mate. He’s God.”
“Didn’t know you posh boys knew ‘70’s rock,” Remus teased.
He sounded different from last night. He seemed more laid back. Nicer, too. Maybe he’s high, Sirius thought.
“Didn’t know you welsh knew good chocolate,” Sirius teased back, settling on Peter’s bunk across from Remus.
Remus laughed. It was a nice sound. “Is my accent that bad?” he inquired. “You’re right, though. There’s only shit chocolate in Wales. In the south in general. This I had to get from Sheffield.”
“You live there, then?”
“Nah. I only have mates there. I live in Bristol, and my mother’s from Wales.”
“That’s cool. I live in London, and I haven’t really-“ Sirius paused and sniffed the air. “Did you smoke in here?”
“Well, maybe a joint or two,” Remus confessed, a cheeky smile taking over his face.
Ah. There it was. It was Sirius’ turn to laugh.
“James will be pissed, you know.”
Remus waved a hand. “He won’t know. I’ll open a window in a bit.”
Sirius stared, incredulous. He smiled, closed his eyes and threw his head back.
“I love this song,” he stated.
Remus hummed approvingly from the other side of the room.
And it was cold, and it rained, so I felt like an actor
And I thought of Ma, and I wanted to get back there
Your face, your race, the way that you talk…
They sat like that for a bit, feeling the music. It was good escape for both of them. Yeah, maybe Remus was weird, and maybe even weirder on weed, but he was good company, Sirius had to admit. And he liked David Bowie. Which was always a plus in Sirius’ books.
We’ve got five years, stuck on my eyes,
Five years, what a surprise
We’ve got five years, my brain hurts a lot
***
(remus)
The first day of school had been better than Remus had expected. He shared a few classes with Marlene. And Lily and Mary, who were both very nice.
Though, he had hoped he’d get a tad more privacy, roommates and all. Sometimes you just needed a smoke and some music by yourself. But he had to admit, Sirius was pretty chill. For a posh boy. He thought if he were to listen to Ziggy Stardust with someone, it could be Sirius.
From what Remus understood, Lily and Mary considered Sirius, James and Peter to be wankers. The Marauders, they called themselves. The girls said they always caused trouble, but they were good fun if you were looking for it.
He decided he wasn’t looking for it. He was good with just his chocolate bars. His roommates had been reasonably nice, so far, but, come on, it was his last year. It was pretty late to make meaningful connections, seeing how they’d all be out of here in nine months.
God, and then there was college, too. He had no idea what he was gonna do after graduation. Maybe he wasn’t gonna go to college at all. Become an artist and live off crumbs he got for his sketches. Remus Lupin: died at 20 years old for trying to stay alive on just cigarettes and chocolate for a year straight. That would be pretty cool, he had to admit.
He was thinking about all of this, laying in his bed, trying to fall asleep. But Sirius, whose bunk was above his, had decided to nip to the loo in the middle of the night (coincidentally, when Remus had decided to put down his book and go to sleep).
“Really, Posh Boy, in the middle of my beauty sleep?” Remus whispered in the dark to the boy now climbing up to his bed.
“Should’ve gone to bed sooner, then, you insomniac stoner,” Sirius replied.
Remus stopped himself at that. You insomniac. He’d heard that before. He’d been called that before.
“You woke me up,” he mumbled coldly, turning on his side.
There was a silence that stretched on for a good minute; then,
“You don’t owe anybody being tougher than them, Remus,” whispered almost secretively into the dark.
And it should have sounded mean. But it didn’t.