He is ok!!!! (kinda)
Blaise didn’t sleep that night.
He knew that Dazai was in stable condition, but what if he didn’t wake up, ever. Blaise didn’t know if he could handle that loss. Dazai was the only one to ever make him truly feel… well, anything
Blaise was so confused, what had even happened to get Dazai in this state, how did he get to Hogwarts
It had to be something to do with the mafia, but Blaise thought Dazai was just an errand boy? Why, how would he get hurt like this?
Blaise’s thoughts went on like this till he drifted off to sleep.
Unfortunately it was far from a peaceful sleep
Blaise was back in the infirmary, Dazai laying there looking the most peaceful Blaise had ever seen him. That's when everything went to hell. Looking up at the heart rate monitor Blaise saw that Dazai’s heart rate spiked to 173 BPM.
When he looked back to Dazai, he had bled through all of his bandages, and was coughing up blood.
Blaise tried to run and get Madam Pomfrey, but the hallway stretched around him and by the time he returned to Dazai’s side, he was gone. He had flatlined. And there was no getting him back
Blaise sat on the hospital bed next to Dazai’s bloodied corpse and started sobbing. Even covered in blood, Dazai still looked peaceful. Blaise hated it, Dazai was still so pretty even in this state.
Blaise closed his eyes and tried to drown out his thoughts, but when he opened them again he was back in his bed, in the Slytherin dorms. He immediately got dressed and walked to the infirmary. He spared a glance towards Madam Pomfrey who motioned him over.
“Just a warning, Dazai is awake.” Blaise’s eyes lit up at this fact. Madam Pomfrey, noticing this, smiled slightly and continued. “He refuses to talk. This is not the result of a physical injury, it is most likely a result of PTSD or a type of phantom pain. He also is very jumpy and-”
“Dazai’s awake?!” Blaise blurted out, cutting off Madam Pomfrey. Her response was to nod and motion to the bed Dazai was in. Blaise walked (ran) over and slightly opened the curtain. The soundproofing spell wore off for a second and Blaise heard a song playing from Dazai’s Ipod that he snuck into Hogwarts. Blaise quietly walked in, closed the curtains behind him, and listened to the song Dazai was playing
‘Said “it’s OK”
And “it’ll all be over soon
I’d never let a bad thing happen to you
Now goodnight, I love you”
And every, everybody dies.
Fighting for their life,
Just trying to survive
And now I know, I know why we say
That there’s a better place that waits beyond the grave
And I know, I know it’s not true
There’s just no more you
But as long as there’s no proof
Then I choose, I choose to believe
That we’ll meet in sweet dreams
After you’re but to sleep.’
Blaise had to admit, it was a fitting song for the current scenario the two of them were in. He knocked on the wall, to alert Dazai of his presence.
Dazai turned around and paused his music. His face lit up at the sight of his best friend and second-in-command. He grabbed his pencil and paper and started writing
‘BLAISE!!!!! How have you been! I missed you over winter break!’
Dazai was obviously trying to avoid the elephant in the room, and if he wasn’t willing to talk about it right now, that's fine. Blaise will gladly allow him this moment of peace before the storm that would be the Hell’s Hounds finding out about Dazai in the infirmary. Merlin, when the twins found out he was awake they would practically smother him
“Hey Dazai, I'm good, how are you?”
‘Absolutely perfect now that my trusty second-in-command is here!’
Blaise chuckled and sat in the chair next to Dazai. The two of them sat in comfortable silence for most of the day, Blaise only leaving his spot to get lunch and bring some crab back for Dazai. Blaise found it a bit odd but Dazai was writing the entire time, but he never tried to start a conversation. From what he saw, peeking over Dazai’s shoulder, the words Mafia, Mori, Father, and Boss popped up too many times in Blaise’s opinion.
About an hour before dinner was to start, Dazai had Blaise fetch Madam Pomfrey for him. When she entered his room he showed her a note he had written
‘Please get Snape and enough food for all of us. I need to tell you something and I have a feeling it will take far longer than dinner will last.’
“Alright, I can do that. Would you like Mr. Zambini to stay or leave?”
‘It’s up to him. Blaise would you like to stay? I have to warn you that this discussion will be quite dark, and i wouldn't blame you if you would like to leave’
“No. I’ll stay. If you allow it, I would like to stay by your side.”
Dazai and Madam Pomfrey both nodded, then Madam Pomfrey went to do as she was asked. Dazai looked incredibly anxious and, in an attempt to comfort him, Blaise slowly placed hand on Dazai’s back and looked at him sympathetically. Dazai glanced up at Blaise, gave him a small smile, then looked back down.
When Snape and Pomfrey arrived Dazai ripped a page out of his notebook, handed it to Snape, and brought his knees up to his chest. Snape seemed confused but went along with it
“Mr. Dazai, at the top of the page it says ‘read aloud’ are you sure you want me to do this in our current company?” Snape said, sending an accusatory glare at Blaise.
Dazai nodded immediately and grabbed Blaise’s hand that was now sitting on the bed, next to Dazai. Snape began reading the letter
‘Hello, I assume you guys would like to know what happened to me and why I almost died. The reason this letter is so long is because there is so much I have to give context for and so many lies I have to correct. First of all, I am, or well was, part of an organization called the Port Mafia. I am a horrible person. I have done unforgivable things, I have killed and tortured people. ‘ Both Snape and Madam Pomfrey seemed shocked, but Snape continued. ‘The rest of this letter is not meant to manipulate you guys into pitying me. If you do end up forgiving me for what I've done (you shouldn’t) I should earn it. Your forgiveness should not be given out of pity. From my understanding in Hogwarts’ records my father is Mori Ougai. This is not true. I do not remember his first name but I know his last name was Tsushima, he is the current Port Mafia boss, unless Mori has killed him in the time I was gone. If this has happened he is the new boss of the PM . This segways into my next topic, my name. Legally my name is Shuji Tsushima, but I would appreciate it if you continued to call me Osamu Dazai. I do not like thinking about the fact that I am related to that excuse of a person. Now moving to my time in the Mafia. As you can assume, I was forced into the Mafia at a young age. To be exact it was when I was 7, right after my mother had killed herself.
By no means did I enjoy my time in the Mafia. Both my father, and Mori were extremely sadistic. A few of these scars I have are from self-harm, yes. But most of them are from Mori or father’s beatings.’ At this, Madam Pomfrey’s mouth dropped open in shock, Snape squinted and looked away, and Blaise squeezed Dazai’s hand to try and ground him. Snape continued. ‘I would say some of the worst parts were the dog kennel, the locked room, and Mori’s “game”. The dog kennel was when Father or Mori would lock me in a cage with the Port Mafia’s hounds. They were used for dog-fighting. They quite enjoyed having me as their prey, I wouldn’t fight back.’ Blaise figured that explained dazai’s fear of dogs. ‘The locked room is pretty simple, when I upset Mori or father they would lock me in the Port mafia dungeon with no water or food and only let me out when it was convenient. Mori’s games had to be the worst. He would pull me into his office and… Blaise if you happened to stay, i suggest you leave for this bit.’ so Blaise stepped out, he wanted to respect Dazai’s wishes, he really did. But his curiosity won and he opened the curtain just enough to hear ‘he would pull me into his office and “touch” me. I assume you can figure out the rest. If Blaise is here he can enter again.’ Blaise felt sick. That man was disgusting. Madam Pomfrey opened the curtain, took a look at Blaise, and closed the curtain behind her.
“You were listening weren’t you?”
Blaise just nodded, he felt like if he opened his mouth he would vomit. He calmed himself down and entered the room with Madam Pomfrey. Madam Pomfrey sat down next to Snape and whispered something into his ear. Snape looked at Blaise, sighed then continued.
‘Now to what actually happened to me. Mori always said Hogwarts was going to make me soft. I guess he was right. He ordered me to kill someone who he deemed to be a traitor and I refused. He said I was useless to the mafia now, and did this to me in an attempt to kill me. There’s really nothing more to it. That’s it. That’s all I'm willing to discuss at this moment and this is all I feel you guys need to know.’
The four of them sat in silence for a while before Snape finally spoke.
“Dazai, no one should ever have to go through that. I don't believe you are a bad person for doing what you need to survive. If this is what happened when you said no once, I don't believe you had much of a choice. In fact, I believe the fact that you refused despite likely knowing the consequence proves that you are a good person. From a young age you were forcefully submerged into a life of death and darkness, that’s not your fault.”
Blaise heard a sniffle next to him and looked over to see Dazai sobbing silently. Blaise stood and pulled Dazai into a hug, letting him sob into Blaise’s chest. Snape and Pomfrey walked over the bedside, Madam Pomfrey placed a comforting hand on Dazai’s back while Snape muttered.
“Don't worry kid, I'm going to make sure no one else can hurt you like that ever again. I’m so sorry no one was ever there for you when you needed them most.”