Visit 8
The sun is shining today, it’s humid. It smells like rain and spring flowers with a hint of mint and freshly cut grass..
“Welcome back, Hermione. How was your weekend and start of your week?”
“Good, he was released from St. Mungo’s so I’m set to return this upcoming Monday.”
“That’s wonderful to hear, I did get the notice about him going into custody. How do you feel knowing that?”
“Lighter,” for the first time in years, my shoulders weren’t up to my ears.
“That’s good,” Dr. Stone placed the three blocks on the table, “What would you like to discuss today?”
“I want to talk about something positive today,” I pick up the soft, plush piece, “Can we talk about my new friends?”
“Of course we can. Why don’t we start with Pansy and Goyle’s girlfriend.”
“Pansy has been amazing. I think I’m going to get good news from her soon about a pregnancy.”
“That’s wonderful news. And the girlfriend?”
“Her name is Veronica, she’s a muggle but knows. She’s really good for him. She owns a small bakery in central London, he helps her out there now.”
“That’s good to hear. Do you think that they push you to be happier?”
“I really think so,” I smile, “Watching Pansy and Blaise makes me believe in love again. Same with Veronica and Greg. I’m so glad to see them happy. When Pansy and Draco were together in school it seemed so forced.”
“That’s interesting. Based on what we’ve discussed, do you think their parents set it up?”
“I have no doubt. I know that Draco was betrothed to Astoria Greengrass during the war but he called it off before his sentencing. The Greengrass family wasn’t really on a side during the war, I think he thought highly of the daughters and didn’t want them drug through the mud.”
“That’s considerate of him.”
“I agree,” I pick up the metal cube, placing the plush one back on the table, “The more I think about it, I think he wrote the letter.”
“You know the author chose to be anonymous.”
“I know, but the male voice and wanting to be anonymous sounds like him.”
“Seems that you two are getting pretty close.”
“He joined us in helping Pansy set up the nursery. That’s why I think we’re getting news soon. Him, Blaise, and Theo were in charge of putting together furniture. Pansy, Veronica, and I were painting and hanging up or folding clothes. Greg was hanging up wall decorations.”
“Sounds like a good time. How was your social anxiety through that? I know you’ve discussed getting overwhelmed in crowded spaces.”
“It was fine, honestly. I expected something but I genuinely felt safe around them. I never thought I’d feel that with anyone but Harry and Ginny. It was so nice.”
“That’s wonderful. How are the others; Blaise and Theodore?”
“Theo has such a sweet soul. I got to know him pretty well when we took breaks. He’s working as a journalist right now for Witch Weekly. He loves finding all the hot gossip and wants me to do an article with him as his ‘best friend.’ He told me about his mother and we talks a little bit about the war but not too much,” I smile, “It’s like he knows and understands what is too much.”
“That’s great. And Blaise?”
“He’s pretty quiet but he is so smitten with Pansy. When he does speak, the whole room stops to listen. Even if he’s just giving one of the others a hard time, everyone listens to what he has to say.”
“Sounds like a group of strong personalities.”
“Yeah, but each in a different way.”
“I’m glad you’re making strong, positive connections. Were there any interactions that stood out to you as more positive than others?”
“I found that Draco and I really get along. It surprised me how much we didn’t know about each other. We were always first and second in the class, competing for the top marks. I never knew how much he wanted to beat me in coursework.”
“How interesting,” Dr. Stone gave a slight smile before sliding a mask back into place, “Any other steps outside of your comfort zone this week?”
“We went to a dinner together at a muggle restaurant,” I put the metal block down and picked up the wooden piece, “Pansy, Blaise, Veronica, Greg, Draco, and I. It was almost like a triple date. In Pansy’s mind, we’re a match.”
“Oh, interesting.”
“No, no. Not like that.”
“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. You control all aspects of your life. I mean, it’s interesting that you went out to eat. You typically don’t go outside your non-magic places.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“No need to apologise. Every response you have is valid, Hermione.”
“Right.”
“Can I challenge you this week?”
“Okay.”
“This,” he pulled a jar off the bookcase behind is chair, “is going to be your ‘I’m sorry’ jar. Everytime you apologise for something that is within your control and you don’t need to apologise for, I want you to put a bead in there. Ideally, I want this to be empty when you come back and bring this next week. I challenge you to take control of all aspects of your life and not apologise for completely valid emotions.”
“I can do that.”
“Good, I think you’ll find this either very easy or very eye opening.”
“I agree.”
“Perfect,” he set the jar on the table before going to his desk and pulling out a small bag of beads, “Do you have anything planned this week that might help you focus on this challenge?”
“Yes,” my face is already turning red, “I have dinner plans tomorrow night.”
“Okay. Are these plans in your comfort zone or not?”
“Not even close,” face is now five shades redder, “It’s in Paris.”
“France?”
“Yes, I have a portkey that will take me there at seven tomorrow night.”
“Have you gone over the tools just in case?”
“Yes, 5-4-3-2-1 and confidence in always having an out.”
“Good. Would you like to prepare for tomorrow?”
“Yes,” deep breaths, “I feel fine about it but still.”
“That’s okay and completely valid. Tell me about tomorrow night’s plans so I can best help you prepare.”
“I have dinner plans,” big breath, “With Draco.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” he held out the paper from last session, “I want you to have this. When you feel overwhelmed or like you aren’t enough, I want you to read the part about who you are to someone else.”
“Thank you.”
“Hermione,” he adjusted his glasses, leaning back in his chair, “How do you feel about tomorrow as a whole? Not about the person or the place, about yourself.”
“Nervous but genuinely excited. Since we reintroduced ourselves, it’s been so different.”
“I’m glad I got to come help out today,” I lean in to give Pansy a big hug.
“I’m glad you could come! I don’t want you to go back to work,” she gave a big pout.
“We’ll miss having you at our beck and call for nursery help,” Blaise gave a million dollar smile.
“Don’t think I won’t show up with a fake injury to con you into that interview,” Theo’s green eyes glistened.
“Theo you’re such a little shite,” Greg smacked the back of Theo’s head, “Ver made you some treats to take with ya!”
“Oh, thank you. You’re both too sweet,” I haven’t felt this welcomed in so long.
“Not as sweet as these tea biscuits!” Veronica wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into a tight hug that smells like cinnamon and paint.
“I’ll walk you to the floo,” Draco’s voice comes from the door, “After you.”
We both make our way down that hall towards the main floo. I can hear his drangonhide boots on the wood floor a pace or two behind me.
“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner next week? Before you go back to work,” his cheeks were flushed, “If you aren’t busy. I’ve been reading all these books and I need someone to talk about them with.”
“Yeah, where were you thinking?”
“I’ll have the portkey sent to you.”
“Portkey?”
“The restaurant is one of Blaise’s in Paris. His family owns the vineyard it’s on.”
“Sounds wonderful,” I give the best smile I can, “Which books?”
“I’ve been reading Bronte and Austen.”
“Classics, I’ll bring a book I think you’ll like. It’s similar but a bit more modern.”
“Sounds wonderful, I’ll see you then.”
“Great,” I turn to the floo network and toss the powder.
“I’m really excited though.”
“I’m glad,” Dr. Stone put his files down, “Time really flew this session. What topics do you want to focus on next week?”
“I think I want to do a recap of the dinner and going back to work. After that I want to focus on my parents.”
“Sounds like a great plan. Are you ready for our check in?”
“I can already tell you that everything is a no. I had a really good week this week.”
“That’s wonderful. No close calls or anything that you just want to note?”
“I was nervous when I got notice of his arrest, but I felt like I could breathe again because I knew he couldn’t get to me.”
“That’s wonderful. We are going to have to talk about the trial soon and how you plan on handling that. Are you ready for that or should we play it by ear?”
“I want to focus on my parents next session. Can we plan that for the session after?”
“Sounds great, Hermione. You’ve made a lot of progress this week. I’m looking forward to seeing you next week. Don’t forget your jar.”
“I won’t. See you next week, Dr. Stone.”
“Goodbye, Hermione.”