Shameless
Regulus thought this would just be another one of those nights when Barty and Evan drag him to a bar and leave him alone while they leave to go have sex. But still he came along like always. One thing he didn’t expect was seeing his brothers and ex-boyfriends band playing at the bar with a big audience for a bar band.
His eyes wandered straight to James in front of the stage with a mic on his hand. He looked gorgeous with his black straight pants paired with an almost fully unbuttoned lavender silk dress shirt and underneath a black see through glitter shirt. If you paid enough attention you could spot his tattoo slightly left on his chest. Regulus could tell every tattoo James had. The one on his chest always was Regulus’ favorite: a Leo star constellation with the Regulus star being the biggest. Sometimes he wonders if James ever covered the tattoo but now he knows James didn’t.
With James’ sleeves rolled you could also spot a tattoo on his forearm of a fallen angel.
James put his mic on the stand when the band finished playing the outro of the song. His eyes looked at the people in the audience. It was probably more than a hundred people. Then he saw Regulus. His eyes flared and couldn’t speak at first before Sirius spoke up. “Heyyy! You guys are absolutely amazing unfortunately this is all we have for you to night” A few faint aws could be heard. The band members all came to the front of the stage. Pete in between James and Sirius, and Remus next to Sirius. They gave a few bows while the audience praised them.
The chant of ‘One more song’ started before they even left the stage. “Do we have time for one last song?” Sirius asked the bar manager, since they had one more artist performing for the night. The manager looked at her clock “Yeah, you have time but only for one song. Just be finished before midnight” It was 11.52PM so they had the perfect time for one song.
“We’ll play shameless” James said without hesitation. He knew exactly which song he wanted to end the night with. “We’ve never played it live before” Pete said looking a little worried how’d it go. “We have practiced it a lot lately. It’ll feel good to play it live for the first time” Sirius said so they all agreed on the song. They ran back on the stage getting a big and long applause.
“Now this night has been amazing” James looked at the audience thanking them for the night. “This song we will play you, I wrote a while back ago about a person that I was kinda seeing at the time” Regulus’ face lifted from the ground “The song hasn’t been played live ever before, but we thought today is the perfect night for this”
“The songs name is Shameless”
“Moony!” James gave his que to Remus who started with the bass.
Don’t speak, no, don’t try.
It's been a secret for the longest time
Don't run oh, no, don't hide
Been running from it for the longest time
“Reg isn’t that you little boyfriend?” Barty came and put his hand around Regulus’ neck. “Shut up and go to your boyfriend” Regulus pushed Barty’s hand off his shoulder. “Shiitt no need to get mad I was just askin’ ” Barty lifted his hands up in defense.
So many mornings, I woke up confused
In my dreams, I do anything I want to you
My emotions are naked, they're taking me out of my mind
James’ eyes were on the ground for the whole time until the chorus started and his eyes flinched around the crowd until they found Regulus’. Their eyes locked on each other. James’ mind wanted to let go of Reg’s gaze but his heart couldn’t because it could be the last time.
Right now, I'm shameless
Screamin' my lungs out for ya
Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Show me you're shameless
Write it on my neck, why don't ya?
And I won't erase it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
After the chorus Regulus could finally break eye contact. Evan came behind him “Hey you ok?” Evan was the only one who truly knows what happened between him and James. Barty knows that they were sleeping together but not why they stopped. “I’m fine” Regulus bluntly answered. “We can go to another bar if you want to”
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
“No, I want to talk to him” Regulus told Evan. Evan looked back at Barty who was sitting at the bar looking at them. Evan patted Regulus’ back and went back to the bar next to Barty leaving Reg watching the show on the stage.
So we're there, now it's real
Now that you have me, do you want me still?
My kisses are history, they go back a long time, uh
And I'm tired of loving somebody that's not mine, no
So many mornings I woke up confused
In my dreams, I do anything I want to you
My emotions are naked, they're taking me out of my mind
Regulus’ need to talk to James grew every second while scanning the room to find someone who would let him backstage. He thought maybe a manager or a security guard, but couldnät find either one. Regulus looked at the bar and decided to ask the bartender.
“Can you get your manager? I need to talk to them” The bartender nodded and went to the back. “Reg what are you doing?” Evan came closer to him. “Talking to James” Regulus said.
Right now, I'm shameless
Screamin' my lungs out for ya
Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Show me you're shameless
Write it on my neck, why don't ya?
And I won't erase it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
The manager came from the back and stood next to Regulus. She looked about their age and had flaming red hair and bright green eyes. “So whatcha need?” Regulus looked at her straight in the eyes and said “I want to talk to my brother, it’s really important”
She looked confused “Who's your brother, does he work here?” She asked “He’s playing on the stage” Regulus said without hesitation. “They’re on stage right now” She said while crossing her arms.
“Take me backstage then” Regulus said seriously.
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
“Follow me then” The manager said “The names Lily by the way” Regulus followed without saying a word. They walked into the back of the bar and through some hallways. They came backstage and Regulus saw the band from the side.
“They’ll finish soon and will go to the other side, I’ll tell them you're here so your brother can come to you” Regulus just nodded not saying any words. “So I kinda need your name to tell who's here” Lily said to Regulus who turned to look at her.
“Regulus”
There's just inches in between us
I want you to give in, I want you to give in, oh
There is tension in between us
I just wanna give in
And I don't care if I'm forgiven
Lily gave Regulus a backstage pass so he wouldn't be taken away and left Regulus alone. Regulus thanked her and she left.
Right now, I'm shameless
Screamin' my lungs out for ya
Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Show me you're shameless
Write it on my neck, why don't ya?
And I won't erase it
I need you more than I want to
I need you more than I want to
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
No, uh, uh, don't wanna do this now
They finished the song and James tried to find Regulus but couldn’t. He thought Regulus left and he felt bad. They bowed again but now really for the last time and ran to the back where Lily was there to greet them.
“Amazing guys! I’ll gladly have you here every night. Canät even remember the last time this bar was as full as this” Lily hugged all the guys and thanked them separately. “Also on the other side of the back is a guy called Regulus who wanted to talk to one of you”
James’ head turned to look at Lily from the other side of the room. “Regulus?”
“Yeah, said it’s really important” Lily said to James, “You know the guy?” Lily questioned him “Yea, old friend or something like that” James said before running out of their dressing room.
Regulus had been standing still for the whole time he was there just waiting for either James or Sirius to come and talk with him. There was a crash and a loud “Sorry-” heard from his right side. Regulus turned and saw him. “James-” Regulus breathed James’ name out his mouth. James stopped six feet away from him. “Why are you here, behind the stage?” James asked, trying not to go too close.
“I needed to talk to you”
Year and 7 months ago
“Do you want to come with me” James asked Regulus, who was once again left alone in a bar by his friends. “Sure, I’m too drunk to drive anyway.” Regulus muttered. “I’m not drivin’ either, Uber” James took his phone out and ordered the uber.
“James-” Regulus couldn’t finish his sentence before James answered “Yeah?” “Come here” Regulus ordered and James gladly followed. Reg ran his fingertips across James’ chest “You were great today, your voice is heavenly” James’ gaze was on Regulus’ fingers which were running on his chest. “Thank you love” He whispered.
James’ phone buzzed, interrupting their moment. “The uber is here” James said as Regulus dropped his hand. James looked at it for a moment before taking the hand with his hand and pulling Reg out of the bar.
Year and 4 months ago
“Reggie, wake up. I made some breakfast” James came to the bed with a plate and a mug in his hands. “Yeah I’m up” Regulus sat up from the bed. “Ohh this looks so good” James looked proud of his makings “Pays well to work at a restaurant” James smiled “I know you want to leave that place and just sing” Regulus looked up at James “But- this does taste great”
“I’m sure anything would taste great especially after the night we had” James winked at Regulus and Reg’s face turned fully red. “Oh my god stop-” Regulus hid his face with his hands, but James took them. “But really I had a great time not just because we slept together, you know that right?”
“I do know, and I liked yesterday too” Regulus told James.
Year and 2 months ago
James' finger glided across the guitar strings while he sang. Regulus watched James’ fingers and lips precisely. When James’ song ended his head lifted and his eyes locked onto Reg’s. His smile grew and he put his guitar on the ground.
Regulus shifted closer to James “The song is beautiful James” James looked at Reg “Well I’d hope so It’s about you” Regulus always gets amazed by James and his cute lines “Does it have a name”
“Shameless”
10 months ago
“How was the appointment” Regulus asked from his couch when he heard James coming in. “Goos, got a really pretty new tattoo” James said sás he walked into the living room and sat on the couch next to Reg. “Well do show me” Regulus fully sat up wanting to see his boyfriends new tattoo. “I hope you like it” Reg could see that James was a bit nervous about it. “C’moon show-”
James opened a few buttons on his shirt and moved it aside from his chest. The tattoo was a little to the left on his chest, right where his heart is. It was the Leo constellation with one bigger star. The regulus star, which is the brightest star in the Leo constellation.
“James, I love it” Regulus gasped “I’d sure hope you do, it’s on there forever” James leand in and gave Reg a peck on his lips.
8 months ago
“James I’m sorry but I can’t” Regulus pleaded, turning from James. “Reggie stop, please” James took Regulus’ hand and pulled Reg towards him. “You need to talk to me about these things. You're worried about something. I can see that. I’m not blind” Regulus pulled his hand away from James’ grip and took a step back.
“I’m sorry James- I’ll find you again when I’m ready”
“I’d wait forever for you, my love”
Present day
“I need to talk to you”
“Regulus-” James couldn’t say a word. Only his name. The man that he has been waiting for for 8 months. “You actually found me again” James was speechless. “It’s not hard when your band posts about you performances everywhere” Regulus said with a blunt face not moving a muscle. “I meant that you actually wanted to see me again” James finally got a full sentence out of his mouth. “I told you I’d come back. And this time I will tell you everything”
James led the way into the empty meet and greet room and Regulus gladly followed him there. “So- about a year ago when I first went to your concert you wanted me to meet your band mates after the show. When I saw you guys on the stage I saw him, my brother, and I freaked out. And left which you already knew.” James finally locked in the final pieces of the puzzle. “Sirius is you brother”
“Yeah- “ Reg’s head fell to the ground “But he only talks about a sister-” James was still a little confused “James I did tell you that I’m trans right” James now realized everything “He never got to know me as myself, so when I saw him I needed to go. I just couldnät face him before I faced my parents for the final time as my real self”
“When Sirius left home I was just 14 and was left alone with our parents. I left that place as soon as I turned 18. I started collecting money to get top surgery and got that done at 20. I haven’t seen any of my family members after that”
James was still a little confused “You could’ve just told me and I could’ve helped you” Reg was touched from James’ words “I needed to do it on my own and I’m so so sorry for the way I handled things especially with you, because James the reason I came back was not just to have sex again it was to tell you that James I am truly in love with you. Without you I would be a total mess and probably alone and depressed. And you absolutely don’t have to say it back because I just sprung this onto you totally unexpected and I’m sorry for that too but-”
James couldn’t stand being still any longer, so he sprung himself onto Regulus and kissed him. Regulus’ quick shock left and he grabbed James’ face with his left hand and put his right hand on top of James’ chest right on top of his tattoo. James moved his hands from Regulus’ face to his hips. The kiss quickly turned from soft and sweet into rough and sloppy. With a small break to catch their breath they went straight back to making out, this time James’ lips found their way into Regulus’ neck, sucking it like there is no tomorrow.
James did finally realize he did not answer Regulus, so he pulled away from Regulus and stared into his eyes “Reggie I do love you too” James said with the biggest grin on his face. “Like you didn’t make that clear just now” Reg said sarcastically “I could make it even clearer for you if you’d like” James said while his face turned to a smug. “I would love nothing more”
James took Reg’s hand and pulled him out the room and closer to the door. James walked backward, not looking where he was going. As soon as he turned he ran into someone. “God James do you not look where you go you li-” Sirius’ sentence got short when he notices Regulus. “You look familiar, do I know you?” Sirius asked Regulus “I sure hope you do science we’re related” James looked at Regulus who nodded at him assuring him that he’s ready.
“What- I don’t have boy relatives your age, only a sister” Sirius said, James wanted to correct him badly but knew this was Regulus’ thing to tell “You don’t have a sister anymore” Reg said to Sirius, hoping he wouldn’t need to explain it further. “What- wait are you my sis- sorry brother” Sirius asked.
“I am, nice to meet you my name is Regulus Black and I’m your little brother”
“Hi Regulus” Sirius took a step closer to Reg but he took a step back. “We are not at that stage yet, just because we talked once” Regulus said “I haven’t forgiven you for leaving me alone in that house, without me telling you who I am” Sirius felt horrible now knowing the truth. “You have to realize I would have died in there” Sirius defended himself and his choices “Well do you realize that I almost did. I got engaged two months before my 18th birthday and was forced to sleep with the 28 year old man so I would have his son as soon as possible” James was horrified and felt horrible for not knowing about it before.
“Regulus, I had no idea, I’m so sorry” Sirius so bad for leaving him there all alone. “Of course you didn't, you were the boy of the family” Regulus’ eyes started watering and he didnät want to cry especially in front of James. “I can’t talk about this anymore, I just can’t. James I want to go now” Regulus said, wiping his tears away and turning to James.
“Yeah of course we can, hope you don’t mind padfoot” James walked towards Regulus and put his arm on Reg’s back and escorted him outside to his car. Sirius stayed there and watched as they walked out the door.
“Reggie I’m so sorry I had no idea that happened to you” James said to Reg, taking his hands. “It’s okay you’re the first ones I’ve ever told, I haven’t even told Evan or Barty” Regulus gave James a faint smile “Can we just go to your place and cuddle or something, please” James nodded and lead the way to his car.
The drive was quiet but once they got to James’ place they weren’t so quiet anymore.
As soon as they got in Reg jumped to James’ arms and started kissing him. James carried him to his room and put him on his bed. James got on top of Reg and the making out continued. It went on like so for a while before James pulled away “Are you sure you want this now” he asked Regulus who was beneath him. “Never been so sure in my life, mi amor” James smiled at the name and Regulus started taking James’ shirt off.
The tattoo. Regulus looked at it. It hasn’t changed at all. Looking at it and tracing it with his fingertips Regulus felt like he was back in time looking at it for the first time on his couch. “You should get a matching one” James suggested.
“Maybe I will, maybe I will mi amor”