Artemis
“Regulus Black”
I didn’t like that Sirius left me, I gave him a tight hug before he entered the train, promising he’d be back for Halloween.
When the owl came for the first time I ran to the door to get the letter. My smile faded when I saw it wasn’t from Sirius.
Mom wasn’t pleased at all that Sirius was in Gryffindor and she took it out on me…
For the first time in my life I drag myself up to my room, trying to keep in my sobs. The pain aches all over my body. She never- my mom never hurt me before.
Sirius was always here to protect me, but he wasn’t this time. I lag in my bed, letting my tears out, pulling my knees towards my face to cover it. “Sirius,” I mutter quietly.
I don’t know when I fell asleep, but Kreacher wakes me up in the middle of the night, I think. “Master needs anything?” I groan in pain when I sit up “Master is hurt? What can I do?” Kreacher asks, eyes wide.
“Nothing, I’m fine,”
Now I understand why Sirius wanted to go to Hogwarts so eagerly.
Kreacher leaves and after a while he comes back with a hot drink: black tea with a drip of milk, like I like it, Sirius used to make it for me.
I drink it, making me feel better and get up. I head to my table and get out a piece of paper and my ink pen.
Dear Sirius,
I miss you, I hope you’re doing good at Hogwarts and that you’ve made good friends.
Mom
I scratch out the next sentence, then stare at the paper and crumble it up in frustration. Tossing it in the trash I take another sheet of paper.
Sirius,
I miss you, hope you’re doing well and made good friends
I’m doing fine, don’t worry about me.
Reg.
I stare at the letter for a long time. Grabbing an envelope and pushing it in quickly so I don’t change my mind.
My window flies open and I stare into the darkness, I whistle and my owl flies over.
It’s a black owl, my parents don’t know I have it, I bought it in secret.
I pet it softly and knot the letter to her paw. “Good girl,” I smile softly and she rubs her head against my neck before flying off.
I stare at it till she disappears into the dark of the night.
A few days later
Every day and night I look outside the window for my owl and when it finally arrives it arrives empty handed.
I give her some seeds and when she leaves I turn around and kick against my bed frame.
He- he forgot about me
He doesn’t care about me anymore! I shut my eyes and close my hands in tight fists.
I drop myself on my bed and fight against a sob, crawling up my throat.
My mom calls me down for family supper and for the first time I didn’t want to go at all.
Sometimes you just don’t want to eat with your parents, but this time I was so scared, I didn’t want to go at all.
Making myself as small as possible I set myself down in my usual place.
“Regulus,” my mother’s stern voice says. “Yes mother,” I say quietly. “You are now the heir of the Black house! Don’t you dare disappoint us like your brother!” She orders strictly and I flinch back even more. “Yes mother,” I repeat.
I should be happy, shouldn’t I? The heir, I’m the heir, but I don’t care.
I want to be with my big brother.
I want to lay in his arms.
I want him to hold me as I cry.
I want him to hold me as I say that I miss him.
I want him to mutter soft words into my ear.
I want him to tell me everything will be okay.
But he’s not here and he can’t tell me. He probably forgot all about me already.
After the longest supper I ever attended I head straight to my room.
Walking in I hear a knock on my window, I open it and almost cry of happiness. My brother’s black owl, (that’s the reason my owl is black too) Pegwidgeon, is standing on my windowsill, a letter hangin on his paw.
Reg
I miss you too!
I made so many good friends,
James, he’s my best friend, he’s the best friend anyone could ask for! He’s so funny and nice, he is kind to everybody and is so smart, you would love him! Me and him are the best duo ever, we make up our pranks although Remus and Peter are coming up with more and more, (I’ll tell you about them later), he just understands me like nobody before you know.
And Peter, he’s nice and friendly, he’s quite shy though. Peter is very loyal too and is a very good friend, he seems a little anxious about the pranks at first but helps good.
Lastly Remus, oh my god! Reg he’s the kindest person I ever met! His eyes are dazzling, his heart is beautiful as is his face. He’s adorable when he smiles and wow, he’s just wow! I don’t know what this feeling is, but I like it. Reg I don’t know what to do, but James is here to help so I’ll be fine.
You sure you’re fine?
Love, Sirius
I don’t know if I want to cry happy or sad tears. If I want to be angry or glad. But it seems like James is replacing me? He seems such a nice dude, but Sirius doesn’t need me anymore.
In fact, did he ever need me before? Maybe he just realized now. But then again he found Remus and I don’t know if he told James yet. Oh god I hope he didn’t tell James before he told me!
He likes Remus that’s so sure and that thought makes me grin, Sirius has a crush!
My big brother found himself a crush and the guy even sounds like a good guy! I can’t stay mad if he’s having such a good time, even if this James lad is replacing me.
I sit down at my desk and get out a sheet of paper and my ink pen.
My hand hovers above the paper. What should I write? And should I not wait for a few days or will Sirius be sad then?
How do I write what I feel? I can’t tell him I’m, what, jealous of James?
My head goes a hundred miles per hour and I decide I won’t be able to write anything today.
Sorry Sirius, I think, you’ll have to wait.
I climb in bed and close my eyes, only thinking about Sirius.
What if Sirius doesn’t come back?
What if Sirius never needs me again?
What if Sirius hates me?
What if Sirius told James first?
What if Sirius trusts James more than me?
What if Sirius chooses James above me?
What if James makes my big brother hate me?
What if James steals my big brother?
What if James
James
James
I don’t like this James
James
James is a nice name
James is a nice guy
I hate james
James
James
“Master, wake up, it’s breakfast time and your mother doesn’t want you to be late!”
Kreacher’s voice wakes me the next day.
My eyes flutter open and I close my eyes directly because of the sunlight shining through the window. Of course I forgot to close the curtains.
I groan in my pillow and haul myself up.
“Yeay, let’s go have breakfast,” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
"Good morning mother,” I say politely as I sit down beside her.
“Morning Regulus,” she says. My father is reading the papers and muttering stuff, bad stuff, about the wizards in it.
I shrink down and grab a piece of toast and some bacon and egg. I take small pieces and look at my mother from the corner of my eye. She looks at me and frowns, I look back at my plate and eat quietly.
After breakfast I want to hurry away when my mother calls me back. I stiffen up and my eyes go wide.
I breathe in deeply and tell myself my mother won't hurt me as I turn around.
“I don’t want you communicating with Sirius in any way! Is that clear? I hope you haven’t been doing it!” I flinch back and whisper so softly: “No mother.”
Her eyes roam me up and down and I straighten up immediately. Her eyebrows knit together and she pulls out her wand.
I jump back and look at my mother with big eyes. There is a flash of an emotion I can’t comprehend, but it’s gone as fast as it appeared.
“I need you to keep it in that head of yours! NO communication with that traitor of ang sorts! Or you’ll face great consequences!”
I nod sharply and she waves me away. My legs haul me up to my room and I close the door. My back hits it and I crumble down, head between my knees.
“Sirius,” I whimper. But Sirius is not coming back.
No, I will not be a baby. I ball my fists and get up. I plant myself on my chair and pick up my pen.
Sirius,
I’m doing fine, really, don’t worry about me.
But mom is not allowing any contact between us, of course I won’t listen.
Seems like you’re having a great time with your new friends.
James especially, but this Remus, you got a little something for him hey?
Still miss you,
Reg.
I breathe in and out and grin as my bird enters my room.
I tie my letter to his paw and she flies away.
We never have lunch together, apparently three meals a day is even too much for my parents. Usually Sirius makes my lunch, but he’s not here, so Kreacher does it now.
I eat in silence as I sit on my bed looking through some pictures of when I was small.
One with me and Sirius in a tree smiling at each other, but looking through the pictures both our smiles disappear slowly.
Sirius’ more than mine, but I think that’ll change.
Two days later
Pegwidgeon knocks on my window again and I open it with a smile on my face.
Reggie,
If mother doesn’t want us communicating maybe we shouldn’t. It’s dangerous, not for me but for you!
Yes, I may feel something for Remus, but I think that’s normal.
But really Reg, we shouldn’t write to each other anymore.
Love you,
Sirius.
I stare at the letter in disbelief: Sirius wouldn’t say that, or would he. It’s probably because of that James! Maybe Sirius just wants to keep me safe.
Artemis, my owl, hasn’t returned yet and last time she was here before Sirius’ owl.
I give Sirius’ owl a pet and some water and food. Pegwidgeon flies back off and it’s time for supper.
But when I get down I realize, supper’s off the table.
My beautiful Artemis is in hanging in my mother’s hand, limply.
I force a sob down my throat. Artemis, she was the first animal I got attached to, she was the only one who gets me, got…
“What is this?” My mother hisses at me, her other fist clenched. “That’s my bird,” I answer her. “And why did it come from Hogwarts?” She snaps. “You ungrateful child! How dare you contact your brother after I told you not to!”
She cast the spell, not even a second after she finished shouting at me.
My body falls to the ground in pain. I scream in agony and plead to my mother. It seems like she can’t hear it, or she just ignores it.
All my muscles tremble and I curl myself in a ball. It feels like an eternity, but in reality it only took like ten seconds.
Then she’s turned around and she heads to the dining room.
I crawl to my room, the pain making me cry all the way up. I don’t have enough strength to pull myself up to my bed so I just lay on the hard floor.
My Artemis.
How could my mother do this?
She never hurt me before Sirius left!
This is Sirius’ fault!
No it’s not, it’s my own.
He warned me, I should just stop.
Artemis is gone and that is my fault.
Artemis, my beautiful owl!