Dominos
“Good evening, Baltimore!” Sirius said into the microphone. The smile on his face looked plastic, fake, a mask over the overwhelming emotion James knew he was feeling. After so much time as his friend, James could practically see the tide of emotion rushing over Sirius. “It’s great to see all of you out here tonight.”
Cheering, applause. James could see Sirius’s smile soften. Sirius glanced over to James, who nodded in response. James turned back to Remus and Marlene who nodded in return. Remus counted them off before starting the percussive intro of the song.
“I can't break the cycle, am I just a fool?
Falling down like dominoes, hit by family jewels”
This was one of Sirius’s favorites to sing, and one of James’s favorites on sound. It wasn’t necessarily their ‘normal’ type of music, but it was a song that was so important to Sirius. Every part of it was Sirius, and Sirius’s hurt. James had watched him in the months after they had taken him in, sitting for hours at the piano in the sitting room of James’s childhood home, writing and writing and writing. He stole away with James’s guitar at night to practice and write, and write more. He had been so restless then. Every moment he wasn’t with James and Remus, or in school, he was writing, letting out the emotions that had built up inside him. James had never stopped Sirius from taking the guitar. James knew he needed it.
“Pass it down from kid to kid, the chain will never end
'Less I decide to go to it, will I see the end?”
James was the first person Sirius played this song for. It was the first song Sirius wrote after leaving. He only made it halfway through the song before breaking down and crying. James was there for him when he did. They ended up sleeping on the roof, under the stars, and sneaking back in before the sun rose.
“Ooh, don't you find it strange?
Only thing we share is one last name
Did I beat you at your own game?
Typical of me to put us all to shame”
James never needed to ask about the lyrics to this song. He knew it in the sadness of Sirius’s eyes. Sirius would go up to the roof at night when he needed to cry. He would stare at the stars. James always wondered who he was looking for up there.
“Welcome to the family jewels
Coal to diamond, sold to fools
Welcome to the family jewels
Simmerin' sapphire can't keep his cool
I can't keep my cool
I can't keep my cool”
Sirius never wanted the life he had. James knew that more than anyone. He had seen Sirius at his lowest points, and he had been there to lift him up. James looked over to Sirius, who was singing passionately. He wasn’t moving too much, just looking out at the audience with so much emotion, so much more than they would ever understand.
“Family said that I decided to live a loveless life
Is it my fault we stay divided? 'Cause I got too much pride
Pass the parcel, wrap, unwrap, and open up the locks
Out come flying all the secrets of Pandora's box”
James never wanted to see anything more than his best friend being happy. Back before Sirius left, James would have given anything to see him smile. He couldn’t stop wondering what sort of monsters his parents were to deny him happiness.
“Oh, you think I'm unfit
Little did you know that I was cut for it
No glass slipper will ever fit
'Cause I could never see a diamond in it
Welcome to the family jewels
Coal to diamond, sold to fools
Welcome to the family jewels
Simmerin' sapphire can't keep his cool
I can't keep my cool
I can't keep my cool”
Even though Sirius’s eyes were so, so sad, there was happiness there, James could see it. Even though he was hurting, he was free now, and he was happier. That made James smile.
“And when we're in the dark, it echoes in your heart
And when you're far away, it beckons me to stay
And when we're in the dark, it echoes in your heart
And when you're far away, it beckons me to stay”
James never figured out who this part was about. It was all built from Sirius, from his experiences and emotions, and who could Sirius possibly want to stay for? James realized now that it was probably Regulus. He wondered if Regulus knew that.
“Welcome to the family jewels
Coal to diamond, sold to fools
Welcome to the family jewels
Simmerin' sapphire can't keep his cool
Welcome to the family jewels
Coal to diamond, sold to fools
Welcome to the family jewels
Simmerin' sapphire can't keep his cool
I can't keep my cool
I can't keep my cool”
They were met with roaring applause. James grinned out at the audience, giving them a dramatic little bow. He heard Sirius huff out a small sigh, before speaking into the microphone.
“I, uh, I wrote that song when I was about sixteen, seventeen. Somewhere around there,” Sirius said. “It means a lot to me. Most of my songs do. This one specifically… I wrote it with a piece of my heart.” The crowd cheered. James saw Sirius smile, before turning to Remus and nodding as they got counted off into their next song.
It was a good show. An excellent one, really. Their audience loved them and was more than enthusiastic. Still James could see the exhaustion in Sirius’s eyes after they finished. Remus was by his side, sitting on Sirius’s amp. James walked up to them, and placed a hand on Sirius’s shoulder.
“You okay, Sirius?” he asked. Sirius looked up at him with a sad smile, wiping away a tear with the back of his sleeve.
“I’m fine. You’re not running off again tonight?”
James shook his head. “Nah. I figured you’d want me here.” Sirius smiled.
“Come on, Pads. We can buy a couple tubs of ice cream and watch movies,” James said, giving him a reassuring smile. “You can pick the movies.”
Sirius tried to grin, but it came out as a grimace, and nodded. James grabbed his hand and pulled him up.
Back home, James hosted a monthly movie night for all his friends. It was tradition, routine. It happened the same way every time. Lily would arrive first and take it upon herself to make an ungodly amount of popcorn that they would somehow manage to finish. Mary would arrive second with a pile of blankets and strong opinions on which movie they should watch. She would end up helping Lily with the snacks. Peter would show up third, with board games that they could play if they couldn’t agree on a movie. Then Marlene would come, a bag of assorted candies in her hands, and a bottle of alcohol in a bag. That bottle would end up empty by the end of the night. Lily and Remus were always designated drivers. Sirius and Remus would arrive last with the exact same movie choices they always did. Sirius would jump on James and hug him, while Remus smiled and watched, holding some sort of desert that he baked. Usually something chocolate.
They couldn’t quite have their movie night here, on tour, but they could get close enough.
They holed up in Remus and Sirius’s room, tubs of ice cream and boxes of chocolate cookies in hand. They sat on the bed, buried in extra blankets they had found in the closet, and bickered about the same three movie options they always did in between swigs of beer and spoonfuls of ice cream.
“James, please tell Remus that I will be picking the movie, and therefore we will be watching ‘But I’m a Cheerleader’,” Sirius said, refusing to look at Remus, whose mouth was already open in retort.
“James, tell Sirius that he watches ‘But I’m a Cheerleader’ every other fucking night and he doesn’t need to watch it again. Plus, ‘ The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ is an excellent comfort film.”
“I don’t know,” James said with a grin. “I think we should watch ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’.” He suggested it every time. It was his favorite movie, ever since he was thirteen.
Sirius groaned. “You always want to watch fucking Monty Python, James. Be more original.”
“And? You always suggest ‘But I’m a Cheerleader’.”
“It’s a queer cult classic!”
They ended up watching Beetlejuice and eating ice cream in the dark.
James fell asleep halfway through the movie, his tub of dulce de leche ice cream half eaten on the nightstand. He woke up with Sirius half on top of him, half on Remus. That wasn’t particularly surprising. Sirius slept like a starfish.
What could be surprising was the tender way Remus’s arm was wrapped around him, James’s taller friend snuggled up close to Sirius. James gave them a soft smile. He was happy for them.
James grabbed his phone. It was lying on the nightstand beside the now melted ice cream. There were texts from Regulus from last night. James missed him a little bit. He loved his friends, but he missed Regulus’s presence.
12:48
Beautiful<3: Hi
Beautiful<3: Can I talk to you?
8:32
James: I’ll be over in fifteen minutes
James: I love you
James slowly crept out from under a snoring Sirius. He snuck across the room and slipped on his shoes.
“Where are you going?”
James turned to see Remus, still close to Sirius. James smiled. “I have someone to go see.”
“He’s going to wonder where you are when he wakes up,” Remus said. James nodded.
“I know,” he said. “Keep him company for me.”
Remus sighed, but he didn’t speak again. James walked out of the hotel room and went to Regulus’s.
Regulus opened the door before James had the chance to knock, his hair was messy, pressed flat on one side. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“How did you know I was here?” James asked.
“I heard your footsteps. Anyways, I’m sorry.”
James furrowed his brow, puzzled. “You’re sorry? For what exactly?”
Regulus frowned. “For snapping at you yesterday, and ruining our date. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Baby, you’re allowed to be pissed at me-”
“I know,” Regulus replied, quick. “But I wasn’t mad at you. I just… I just didn’t want to face my past. I’m sorry, James. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you.”
“Okay,” James said lightly. He didn’t particularly mind. He knows family is a rough spot for Sirius. He should’ve expected the same for Regulus.
Regulus looked like he wanted to reply, but instead he just nodded. “Okay,” he said, smiling for only a moment before it slipped back off of his face. “I was… I was thinking about what you said and… okay.”
“Okay?” James asked, confused. Regulus nodded.
“I’ll talk to Sirius, as long as you plan it,” Regulus said, giving James a small smile. James grinned.
“That’s… that’s great, Reg!” James said, wrapping his arms around Regulus and holding him close. “Thank you. I love you.” James thought he might have heard a response, but he couldn’t make it out.
Regulus kissed him softly, wrapping his arms around James’s neck. James grinned against his lips, holding Regulus’s hips. Once Regulus pulled away, James noticed something. He grinned, raising an eyebrow.
“Isn’t this mine?” he asked, pinching at the crimson fabric of Regulus’s t-shirt. He blushed wildly, his cheeks turning pink.
“Maybe,” he responded, looking up at James fondly. “I can give it back if you want.”
James shook his head. “Keep it. It looks better on you.” James revelend in the color of Regulus’s cheeks.
“James?”
“Yes, love?”
“I have one request for my meeting with Sirius.”
“What is it, Reg?” James said, brushing a curl out of Regulus’s face.
“I want it at a bar,” Regulus said, deadpanned. “The only way I’m going to be able to have a conversation with him without committing murder is with alcohol in my blood.”