Liar
James gently shook Regulus awake as the plane flew over Baltimore, the sun rising outside the window.
“Reggie, baby,” James whispered. Regulus groaned, nuzzling into James’s shoulder. “Baby, we’re landing. Sirius will be waking up soon.”
Regulus groaned again, clinging to James’s arm. He was so cute like this, clingy, and sweet, and sleepy. “Five more minutes…”
James chuckled. “When we get to the hotel, love. For now, you have to be awake.” Regulus pouted, his eyes still shut tightly.
“Fine…” Regulus said grumpily, yawning. He sat up, stretching his arms. “Buy me coffee?”
“Once you wake up fully,” James said, nodding. Regulus smiled, hummed. He slowly blinked his eyes open, looking up at James sweetly.
“Good morning,” Regulus said, his voice still cute and sleepy. James smiled, pulled him close, Regulus gently wrapping his arms around him.
“Good morning,” James said, releasing Regulus. He smiled softly. He heard Sirius groan in the row across from them, yawning loudly.
“Moonyyy,” Sirius groaned, turning his face into Remus’s shoulder, who blinked awake.
“Morning, Pads,” Remus said groggily. He looked up to James. “Morning, Prongs.” James nodded in greeting.
“Hey, Remus. Sleep well?” James smiled. Remus shrugged.
“Not really. Planes, y’know?” Remus said, stroking Sirius’s hair. James nodded. Remus turned his attention back to a very tired looking Sirius, who was still leaning into Remus’s shoulder.
James watched the plane wake up, becoming brighter and more awake as the plane began to land. Barty and Evan woke up groggy together, mumbling to each other. Pandora just seemed to be awake, talking cheerfully as soon as Barty and Evan were able to listen. Dorcas woke up annoyed, seemingly because Marlene was playfully poking her. She woke up shouting as Marlene laughed. It was nice listening to them all chat, alive and happy. James realized that they all had such bright, shining personalities. He was glad that they were happy, all of them, even Evan and Dorcas who he was fairly sure still didn’t like him. Seeing people happy always made him happy.
When the plane ended, Regulus and James chose to be alone together, pulling away from the group to spend time together, heading to the hotel alone. They just wanted to be together.
Regulus sat on the bed, scribbling furiously in a leather-cover notebook while James sat next to him, hand on his thigh. He didn’t know what Regulus was scribbling, but James didn’t mind, just sitting there, kissing Regulus on the cheek every once in a while as he listened to a song. One of Regulus’s. Something soft and emotional, a song called ‘Juliet’. James had put it on his playlist before he knew Regulus’s name, or how sweet he could be, or how beautiful he was when laughed. He wondered when Regulus wrote it, who he could’ve written it for. Maybe just himself.
“What’cha writing, Reg?” James asked, leaning over to peer into the journal, his head next to Regulus’s. One of his earbuds was in his hand, quietly playing through the end of the song. Regulus chuckled, turning his head to softly kiss James.
“Just some lyric ideas,” Regulus responded with a soft smile. “I suppose I had some inspiration. I decided to rewrite an old song of mine. I haven’t touched it in a while, but… Well, I got inspired.”
James hummed, intrigued. “Care to share?” Regulus smiled, but still shook his head.
“Not yet,” Regulus said. “Eventually.”
James shrugged, kissing Regulus’s forehead. They sat happily together, letting time slip by. Regulus kept scribbling rapidly, going through page after page of lined paper. James listened as Regulus hummed little melodies. James couldn’t wait for the day he would hear them in full.
Time seemed to pass right by in their little bubble of sleep and TV and music, the daylight slipping past them. Every so often, James would order them food. They would eat while they watched TV, and Regulus would go right back to writing. Eventually, James got him to put down the notebook with a warm smile.
“Come on, love. Take a break,” James said, easing the notebook out of Regulus’s hands. Regulus chuckled, brushing a lock of hair out of his face. He snatched back the notebook, pulling it close to his chest.
“But I’m working…” Regulus said, his eyes soft. James looked at him sternly.
“Regulus,” James said. Regulus just laughed.
“Fine, fine,” he said with a small smirk. “But, in exchange, you’re taking me on a proper date tomorrow. Okay?” James grinned.
“Okay,” he replied warmly, pulling Regulus into him. Regulus leaned up to press a small kiss to his jaw. “Want to get some dinner?”
“Are you planning on paying?” Regulus asked, grinning. James chuckled.
“Of course, love.”
Eventually, James did get Regulus out of the hotel to go to dinner. They had spent far too long getting ready, finding themselves in a bit of a rush before the concert, but James still dragged him out, texting both their bands about their absence at sound check.
James called them an Uber as they stood at the front of the hotel. They were holding hands. That felt normal now. They were almost always touching, every moment that they could and it felt normal.
James had found a place he thought Regulus would like. A little Italian bistro about fifteen minutes away. It was a cute little place with outdoor seating. It was a very traditional, movie-type place, the kind where a couple would go in a romance movie for a romantic date. James supposed that was what he was going for. They hadn’t really had that, had they? They spent so much time together, but they had barely gone on any dates. James supposed he wanted to make up for that.
The hostess led them to a table in the back, circular, with two red-cushioned chairs. There was a red and white checkered tablecloth and a candle on top of the table. Regulus looked lovely bathed in the candlelight as James pulled out his chair. Regulus chuckled.
“Always the gentleman,” Regulus said, joking. James smiled and sat down in his own spot.
“Only for you, my love,” James said, watching Regulus’s face turn pink in the candlelight. James reached across the table to hold Regulus’s hand. “You look lovely tonight.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been with me literally all day.”
“And? You still look lovely.”
“I look and smell like I’ve been sweating on a plane for seven hours.”
“Regulus,” James said, holding back a laugh. “Let me be romantic. Please.”
Regulus laughed, clear and warm. “Fine.”
James lifted Regulus’s hand to his lips and kissed it, his lips gracing over slender fingers. He glanced up at Regulus, grinning. “I love you.”
Regulus just smiled.
Eventually, after much deliberation, they ordered their food. James got lobster ravioli and a caesar salad on the side. Regulus ordered a seafood pasta with scallops and shrimp. And James had no problem ordering them each a glass of wine.
James watched quietly as Regulus sipped his wine and told stories of his life. Adventures with Barty and Evan, running laughing through dark city streets, Art projects and new hobbies he started with Pandora, Dorcas’s disasters with doing his makeup. They were all said warmly, with so much affection. James could feel how much he cared for them. James felt the absence of stories about his childhood, about Sirius. He didn’t press.
“Y’know, Barty had a real rebellious streak for the first few years after he left home,” Regulus said, talking cheerily. “He cut all his hair off in Evan’s bathroom, pierced his ears, did a really crappy stick and poke on the back of his hand. It said ‘fuck you’ on his middle finger.” Regulus laughed. “He also had some, uh… problems with the law. I would steal money from my parents to bail him out of jail, and when they found out… Well, they weren’t happy that I was friends with a ‘deviant delinquent criminal’. Thought I would turn out like Sirius.” He laughed again.
“They weren’t entirely wrong,” James said. Regulus looked at him, a little surprised before staring sadly down at the table.
“No,” Regulus said firmly. “I’m not like him.”
“I mean, in a way-”
“I’m not like him,” Regulus said sharply. He took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m sorry. But I’m not. Like him, that is. I didn't abandon anyone to go live out a rockstar fantasy. I left with no reason to stay.”
“Would you have stayed?” James asked, his hand on Regulus’s. “If Sirius had been there with you. If you had someone who was there, would you still have stayed? Even though you weren’t happy there.”
Regulus opened his mouth to speak, but he hesitated, and that was all James needed to see to know.
“Maybe you should just… talk to him, Reg. I don’t know, at least get to know why he left?” James suggested. Regulus looked up angrily. He pulled his hand away from James’s.
“No,” Regulus said, stiff. “No, James. Never.”
“Reg-”
“James,” Regulus said, soft and pained. “No.”
James didn’t ask any more after that. The conversation fizzled out. They waited silently until their food came. They stayed silent while they ate. The food tasted like ash in James’s mouth. Regulus was silent as James paid the bill, and James was silent as Regulus finished the wine in his glass. They stayed silent during the Uber ride to the venue, before quiet, uncomfortable goodbyes as they separated.
James wandered alone around the venue until he was pulled away into makeup by Cerci, who had apparently been looking for him. He didn’t speak, didn’t joke or socialize with the makeup artists, or chat with Sirius while they worked. He just sat silently as his face was covered in layers of makeup.
After his makeup had been done to the artists’ satisfaction, he went out to stand by the stage and watch Regulus. Sirius was by his side, and Remus by his. Regulus was swaying as the band played the final notes of a song. Once the notes had cut off, and the crowd’s applause had trickled out, Regulus leaned into the microphone to talk to the crowd.
“So, this will be our final song tonight,” Regulus said. His clothes had changed. He was wearing a dark blue sheer top with bird designs threaded into it. “Um, I actually chose this shirt for this song. This is one of my songs that I wrote when I was in highschool. I had suffered probably the most devastating event of my life, and I remember looking out my bedroom window, and seeing two birds. And then there was one.”
Regulus took a deep breath. James could see Evan count them off before Regulus started to sing.
“Two birds on a wire
One tries to fly away
And the other watches him close from that wire
He says he wants to as well
But he is a liar”
James heard a choked noise from Sirius and looked over. Sirius’s hand was over his mouth, and his eyes were wide, locked on Regulus, who was bouncing on the balls of his feet as he sang.
“I'll believe it all
There's nothing I won't understand”
Regulus glanced over bitterly at Sirius, quickly looking back to the audience. The world seemed to go quiet, closing in on Regulus.
“I'll believe it all
I won't let go of your hand”
Regulus reached out a hand to the audience as Sirius reached a hand out to Regulus. They closed their hands at the same time, slowly pulling their hands back. James could see Sirius fiddling with a ring on one of his fingers. Regulus turned his face away from the audience, away from where James and Sirius were standing.
“Two birds on a wire
One says, "C'mon" and the other says, "I'm tired"
The sky is overcast and I'm sorry
One more or one less
Nobody's worried”
Sirius’s eyes turned mournful. James could see it as Remus gently grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. James could almost remember a moment in their teens, outside with Sirius, watching him run up and ask a small, thin, dark-haired boy to hang out with them. That was Regulus, James realized. James could’ve helped him, if only he had bothered to wonder about him back then.
“I'll believe it all
There's nothing I won't understand
I'll believe it all
I won't let go of your hand”
Sirius’s fists clenched as it went into a short instrumental section that was clearly of Pandora’s design. His eyes looked panicked, almost afraid.
“Two birds of a feather
Say that they're always gonna stay together
But one's never going to let go of that wire
He says that he will
But he's just a liar”
Sirius stared at Regulus, his eyes pained. James wanted to hug him. He wanted to hug both of them, hold them tight. His best friend and his boyfriend, they were hurting. James wanted to help them. He couldn’t do anything to ease their pain.
“Two birds on a wire
One tries to fly away and the other
Watches him close from that wire
He says he wants to as well, but he is a liar”
The song ramped up, a chaotic loud instrumental portion. James saw Regulus wipe his eyes and take a deep breath. He turned to Sirius, who was trying not to cry. James knew he didn’t want to ruin his eyeliner just before the show. He wished that Sirius could just cry, just feel the feelings bubbling up inside him.
“Two birds on a wire
One tries to fly away and the other”
The song ended, Regulus releasing a choked breath. He gave a sad, pained smile.
“I’m sorry, everyone,” Regulus said. “That… that was a very personal song for me. I’ll turn the microphone over to Barty here for our goodbyes. Thank you for coming out tonight.” The crowd whooped and cheered as Regulus handed the microphone to Barty, who gently patted him on the back.
“We’ve got to go, guys. Enjoy the Marauders and have an incredible night!” Barty said, a charismatic grin on his face. The crowd cheered and applauded as they walked off the stage. Barty and Evan were both next to Regulus, their arms wrapped around him.
“Pads,” James murmured, placing his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said with a sad smile, brushing James’s hand off. “I’m fine, Prongs. Let’s go perform.”
James hesitantly nodded. He led Sirius onto the stage holding his hand.