The Tattoo
When Regulus awoke, Barty wasn’t in bed. That was probably a good thing to be honest. Regulus wasn’t sure that he wanted to wake up to anyone. At least, anyone who wasn’t James.
He hadn’t come for him after the show. Regulus didn’t give him the chance. He missed him like a lung, missed the way he brought Regulus so much comfort. Regulus was alone, not even Barty there, and Regulus just missed him more.
The door suddenly swung open, Barty walking in with an exhausted, but sweet looking James. Barty held a tray of coffees, and James held a set of clothes that Regulus recognized as his own. They were chatting friendlily. When did that happen? Barty looked over, realizing that Regulus was awake, sitting up in the bed.
“Hey, Reg,” Barty said, energized. The front part of his hair was tied up, showing off his extensive piercings. He looked clean. “So, James here was bombarding your phone, so I told him where you were. He came with me to pick up some coffee.”
Regulus just nodded silently. James smiled at him. He looked tired, like he hadn’t slept, dark shadows creeping under his eyes. Regulus returned the smile, always soft for James. James stepped towards him, Barty calling out behind him.
“Oh, James, I wouldn’t-”
James kissed Regulus lightly on the forehead, Regulus smiling softly, leaning into it. Barty stared at them, mouth agape.
“Who are you, and what have you done with Regulus?” Barty asked, his eyes wide. Regulus laughed. Barty narrowed his eyes. “The Regulus I know would rather die than be touched in the morning. Especially after… Well, last night.”
Regulus stuck out his tongue at him. “Maybe I just like James more than you.” Barty let out an indignant gasp.
“How dare you!” Barty said, unable to hide the joking smile that crept onto his face. Regulus chuckled, James sitting down next to him, their hands touching. He was almost a little desperate for the touch.
Barty’s smile softened. “In all seriousness, Reggie, I’m happy for you. Even if your taste in men is absolutely atrocious. I mean honestly, couldn’t you at least have picked someone with a brain?”
Regulus snorted as James let out an offended gasp. “Trust me, I know. I don’t even know why I like him so much! He’s such an idiot.”
James nudged Regulus’s shoulder. “Excuse you! The idiot in question is here, you know.”
Regulus smiled. “I know. Doesn’t make it any less true.” James gasped, eliciting laughs from Barty and Regulus, and well. That set the tone of the conversation. Regulus hadn’t expected Barty to be as fond of James as he was, laughing at his jokes and smiling at him, but Regulus was an idiot to have assumed otherwise. James had this magnetic sort of warmth that tended to pull in the people who wanted to be pulled in the least. Regulus shouldn’t have expected anything less.
After a while of talking, laughing, smiling, the door opened and Evan rushed in, Pandora following after him. Regulus waited as, unsurprisingly, Dorcas stormed in after, her eyes dark.
“Regulus!” Evan exclaimed, panic in his eyes. “Barty texted me and told me what happened. Are you alright? Do you need anything? Are you feeling better?” Regulus smiled sheepishly.
“Good morning to you too, Evan,” Regulus said, rolling his eyes. Evan’s eyes focused on James, giving him a murderous glare.
“You,” Evan said, balling his fists. “Some fucking nerve you have, coming here after being a part of this, and using his fucking past for some sick fame fantasy-”
“Evs, stop,” Barty said, crossing his arms. “I invited him over. He was worried about Reg, so I let him in to see him.”
Evan turned to him furiously. “What the fuck, B? After what he did, you let him in? To see Regulus? What the hell were you thinking?”
“Um… What did I do?” James asked, raising his hand. Evan turned back to him, glaring.
“Don’t pretend you don’t fucking know! Are you that fucking stupid?”
“Evan, stop,” Regulus said, rolling his eyes. “He didn’t know. Sirius is apparently a shit communicator, and never mentioned his little brother to his best friend.”
James’s eyes widened. “Oh. Shit. That song was about you, wasn’t it?”
Regulus nodded, rolling his eyes once again. “Yep.”
James ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck. I’m so sorry, Reg. I didn’t know, I promise. Sirius was always so vague about the songs he wrote, and… I’m so sorry, Reg. You… you didn’t need to be reminded of that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, James. I know you didn’t know,” Regulus said, leaning into him. He watched Evan take deep breaths, some of that fury draining from his eyes.
“But it’s not-”
“James,” Regulus interrupted with a glare. “I don’t blame you, and I don’t think any of them do either.”
“I do,” Evan and Dorcas said simultaneously, raising a hand. Regulus ignored them.
“You’re fine, baby. You haven’t done anything wrong. At least not purposefully,” Regulus said with a soft smile. James let out a shaky exhale, pulling him close and kissing him on the forehead.
“Thank you, love,” James said softly. Regulus leaned into him happily, leading to a chorus of teasing ‘awww’’s from Regulus’s friend (mostly Pandora). He didn’t care. He could feel that there was too much pressure on his hip, where a new tattoo sat. Right. He had forgotten about it. James would love it though.
After a few minutes, Regulus pulled away, looking at his friends. “Well, if there’s nothing else you want to say, James and I will be leaving.”
Barty shrugged. “See you later, Reg.”
Evan looked like he wanted to say something, but Regulus glared at him. Evan scowled, but remained silent. Dorcas glared at James but stayed silent as well. Pandora just smiled at him. He happily returned it, gently pulling James as he stood up.
“Bye,” Regulus said, before tugging James out the door.
Regulus pulled James to his own room. He tugged James with him, down onto the bed. He loved him. How could he not? Still, he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t bring the words to exit his lips. Showing it would be easier though. He could show him. That was something he could do.
He kissed James as they fell into the bed, the slightest brush of lips before they were pulled apart by gravity. They were reunited in a warm kiss as James fell on top of Regulus, eliciting a sharp exhale from Regulus. Their faces remained close, and so Regulus pushed forward, kissing James roughly. There was nothing more that he wanted to do.
Regulus’s hands found their way into James’s hair, as James’s hands slipped under Regulus’s t-shirt. It was odd to realize that he wasn’t alarmed or put-off by it. He let James go, slowly slipping off Regulus’s shirt as they kissed. Regulus just let it happen. It didn’t feel wrong. It usually would’ve felt wrong. It just felt a little… odd, he supposed. But he let it happen. He didn’t mind it happening.
He felt his shirt slip off, James pulling away for only a few minutes to fold the t-shirt neatly, before leaning back in to kiss Regulus.
“You’re beautiful,” James mumbled softly against his lips. Regulus grinned, gently grabbing James’s hand and gently pressing it to his hip. James looked down, confused. Regulus watched his eyes widen with a grin on his face.
“Regulus… What is this?” James asked, his finger gently tracing the outline of a sun on Regulus’s left hip, bordered by elegantly drawn roses on one side. Regulus grinned.
“You smile like the sun,” Regulus murmured, tracing a thumb over his bottom lip. James just kept reverently running a finger over the lines.
“I love you,” James said suddenly, blurted out. Regulus felt his eyes widen, his cheeks flush. James’s eyes were still locked on the tattoo. “You don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know it.”
Regulus wanted to say it back. He desperately wanted to say it back, because he knew he would’ve meant it. He just couldn’t get it past his lips. He couldn’t get himself to say it, even though it was true. But that was okay. That would have to be okay, at least for now. Someday he would say it. He promised himself that. But now, he could let himself get lost in the way James looked at him, as though he were divine, a god for him to worship.
“So you like it?” Regulus asked softly, brushing a hand through James’s curls. James looked up finally, gazing softly into Regulus’s eyes.
“Are you kidding?” James asked, smiling. “I love it. It’s beautiful.”
“It’s you,” Regulus said softly. James didn’t respond. He just kissed Regulus softly. Short and sweet, a gentle press of lips. “Stay here with me. I want to sit here, and watch movies, and order food. Couple shit, like lovers do.”
James smiled. “Of course, love,” he said, rolling over to lay down next to him. “Do you want to order some food?”
“Mhm,” Regulus said, laying down, his head on James’s shoulder. “Pizza. Margherita, please.”
James sat with him, watching movies and eating pizza all day, in between soft, loving kisses. They didn’t need to leave the room. They didn’t want to. It was Regulus laying on James’s thighs as they watched the Sweeney Todd movie. It was them sitting cross-legged on the bed, eating slices of pizza, and talking over the TV. It was them singing together. It was them writing music, listening to each other hum the melodies in their heads. It was just them.
Eventually, they did have to emerge from their comfortable paradise, to pack and to get going. It was easy to pretend that their celebrity status was nonexistent, and they were simply normal people when they just sat there. It was harder to disillusion themselves when they were taking plane rides to different cities where hundreds of people were waiting to see them.
It was becoming a pattern of Regulus sitting next to James. Regulus would always take the window seat, and James would always sit next to him on the aisle. They would listen to music, or watch movies, and talk quietly when everyone else had fallen asleep. James’s hand rested on top of Regulus’s, drawing little patterns with his thumb. The lights had gone low, and there were the slight sounds of their friends snoring. They were listening to music through Regulus’s headphones. Ballad of Jane Doe, from the Ride the Cyclone soundtrack. This wasn’t the sort of music Regulus tended to share. It wasn’t what people expected a musician like him to listen to. It was alright though, because it was James. Regulus leaned over and kissed James’ jaw before leaning his head on his shoulder.
“Reg…” James said cautiously, glancing over at Sirius. Regulus rolled his eyes, a hand in James’s hair.
“Relax, Jamie,” he said, pressing another kiss to James’s jaw. “He’s asleep. We’re fine. Your friend won’t get mad at you for kissing his little brother.”
James’s cheeks flushed. “That’s not-”
“James,” Regulus cut him off. “It’s fine. I get it. You don’t want Sirius to be mad at you. I’m not going to get in between you two.”
James smiled. “I… Thanks. I love you.” Regulus hummed in approval, resting his head on James’s shoulder. James gently pulled his face up for a kiss.
“What about Sirius?” Regulus asked sarcastically, keeping James’s face close. James shrugged and kissed him again, gentle, sweet. Regulus pulled away, leaning on James sleepily.
“I’m going to get some rest. Mind if I use your shoulder?” Regulus said. He didn’t wait for approval before placing his head on James’ shoulder, closing his eyes. James chuckled, and pressed a kiss to his head. Regulus hummed softly as he dozed off, warm from James’s touch. He couldn’t help thinking, as he slipped off, that he loved James. He loved the man by his side so much. He hoped that someday he would find a way to say it.