We Have Each Other
Remus was an awful friend. He was aware that it was a mistake to fall in love with Sirius, but it wasn’t really something he could help. He had realized that he was in love a year after Sirius ran away, when their music started catching on. Maybe it was something about the way he looked, performing on a stage, colored lights shining down on him as he sang with all his soul, because he always did. He performed with everything he had, and then some.
Remus wasn’t stupid. He knew that Sirius felt something, but he wasn’t sure what something really was. Remus wasn’t willing to take the risk. He would rather die than lose Sirius, both as the friend that had always been there for him, and the long pined after crush that he didn’t know how to lose.
“Moons!” Sirius shouted from across the stage. He had red rhinestone covered sunglasses perched on top of his head. His long black hair was in a braid down his back. “Come on!”
And of course, Remus went. He never could say no to Sirius. Besides, this was familiar. Packing up after a show, going back to Sirius’s, or to the studio to gorge themselves on pizza (large pepperoni, at Sirius’s request), and ice cream (chocolate for Remus, and french vanilla for Sirius), while they watched a movie, or chatted and wrote new song, drunk on whatever they could get their hands on. Usually either vodka or beer, and once in a while, wine.
So Remus left with Sirius. He sat in the taxi as Sirius asked the driver to take them to the studio. He listened as Sirius sang along to Bohemian Rhapsody playing over the radio, too high off performing to care that he was belting to the poor taxi driver. He got out at the studio with Sirius, and rode the elevator up twenty stories as Sirius hummed absentmindedly to the elevator music.
“Come on, Remus,” Sirius said, grinning, as he pulled Remus along by his wrist into the studio. “I got pizza and ice cream. And vodka. Shots?” He wasn’t really asking, Remus knew that. Sirius wanted to do shots, so they would do shots. Remus simply chuckled as Sirius pulled him along.
“Want to play something, Moony?” Sirius asked, eyeing Remus’s drum set with awe. Sirius had a bit of a fascination with watching Remus play. Remus was always happy to indulge him and his interest, playing whatever Sirius picked out for the night.
“Only if you can accompany me,” Remus said, that warm smile that Sirius always brought out spread across his face.
Sirius grinned. “Guitar or voice?”
“Both. No compromises.”
Sirius bit his lip before responding, “Deal.”
Remus chuckled, pulling his hand free from Sirius’s grip to go sit behind his drum set. He picked up his sticks, flipping one in the air and catching it before looking at Sirius.
“What song do you want to do?”
Sirius hummed a few notes to a song Remus had never heard before he replied. “Moonage Daydream.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “Bowie? Again?” It wasn’t uncommon for Sirius to request Bowie. Remus would always do it, no matter the song.
Sirius grinned. “Moonage Daydream with my Moony. I think it’s perfect.” Remus deliberately ignored the warmth that crawled up his neck at the words. ‘My Moony’. Sirius would never know how his Remus really was.
Remus chuckled. “Sure, Pads.” He waited for Sirius to pick up a guitar. It was gold with red accents, Sirius’s personal favorite. He never used it in concert, but off stage, it was the only guitar he ever touched. “Want me to count us off?” Sirius nodded.
“One, two, one, two, three, four,” Remus counted, hitting his sticks together. He hit his cymbals as Sirius strummed the first two notes.
“I’m an alligator,” Sirius sang, followed by a repeat of the first two notes. “I'm a mama-papa comin' for you”
“I'm the space invader
I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you
Keep your mouth shut”
Sirius looked at him, grinning as he stepped closer, still playing.
“You're squawking like a pink monkey bird
And I'm bustin' up my brains for the words”
Remus knew how much he adored this line, adored the gibberish of the lyrics, adored the way the notes sounded in his voice.
Sirius leaned over, giving Remus a smirk that was probably meant to be humorous, but that didn’t stop the thick gulp that Remus took, the butterflies in his stomach flying chaotically.
“Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe
Put your ray gun to my head
Press your space face close to mine, love
Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!”
Sirius loved the next verse, the seductiveness of it. Remus despised it, if only for the way he knew Sirius would perform it with his full being, much to the dismay of Remus’s undefeated crush.
“Don't fake it baby, lay the real thing on me
The church of man, love
Is such a holy place to be
Make me baby, make me know you really care
Make me jump into the air”
Sirius always accented the last two lines, glancing down at where Remus sat, still playing, hitting his set violently. That smirk was chaotic, almost scary, but Remus loved it. He loved it so much that it hurt.
“Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe
Put your ray gun to my head
Press your space face close to mine, love
Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!”
Sirius played through the guitar solo, grinning, as Remus aggressively hit his drums, trying to drown out the pounding of his heart. Sirius threw his hair back as he played, his braid coming loose. Remus would probably end up brushing out his hair later.
“Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe
Put your ray gun to my head
Press your space face close to mine, love
Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!
Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe
Put your ray gun to my head
Press your space face close to mine, love
Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!”
Sirius smirked at Remus as he played the outro, murmuring the last few words of the song.
“Freak out, far out, in out.”
After Sirius finished the song, he set down his guitar, walking over to Remus who did one last crash on his cymbals. He set down his sticks on top of his snare before looking up at Sirius.
“How’d we do?” Remus asked, smiling. Sirius grinned, leaning over the drumset, the pins on his black leather jacket shining.
“Perfect. Thanks, Moons,” Sirius smiled, reaching a hand behind him to pull out his braid. “Want to crack open the vodka? The ice cream?”
“Sure,” Remus said, standing up. “Come on, on the floor. You can pour some shots while I do your hair.” Sirius smiled and nodded, jumping off the platform they played on. He ran off for a minute, before returning with a bottle of vodka and two glasses. He sat down on his knees in front of the platform. Remus sat on the edge, running his fingers through smooth black hair.
“Straight?” Sirius asked, mumbled, as he poured vodka into one of the glasses. Remus just hummed in confirmation as he gently loosened the knots in Sirius’s hair. Remus gently separated his hair into sections, folding them over each other into a loose braid. Sirius’s hair was soft on his hands, silky and mostly straight. Remus had always liked his hair, thought it was pretty.
“Moony,” Sirius said, turning his head to gaze at Remus with soft blue-gray eyes, like rain clouds, peaceful and serene, but chaotic and powerful. His eyes were so beautiful. “Sit with me. I poured you a drink.”
Remus smiled, slipping down to sit on the floor next to him. He was overly aware of the proximity of their hands, the just barely there touch of a pinky as he picked up his glass. He took a small sip, eyeing Sirius who downed the entire glass.
“Fuck, that’s good,” Sirius grinned, pouring another glass. Remus finished the rest of his.
They drank one glass after another, until they were both drunken, blabbering messes on the floor, sharing a pint of chocolate ice cream. Sirius was draped over Remus, his head leaning back on his shoulder as his hair slipped off.
“-And, you’re my best friend, Moons,” Sirius slurred, grinning. He was so pretty, so lovely, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol. “Like, I love you. So much. You’re the best.”
Remus smiled. “I love you too, Pads. You’re my favorite person in the world. Even though you’re such a dumbass sometimes.”
Sirius laughed, his head falling from Remus’s shoulder to his lap, where he weakly attempted to steal the ice cream from Remus’s hands. “I’m such a dumbass sometimes. I don’t even know why you deal with me.” It may have been sad if it wasn’t overrun with drunken giggling, and failed attempts at snatching away the ice cream.
“‘S because I love you, Sirius,” Remus said, smiling dazedly. The lights in the studio were so pretty. They made Sirius look so pretty, his hair spread out across Remus’s lap. “I love you so much it hurts sometimes.”
Sirius grinned at him. “I love you too, Moony. You- you’re so pretty tonight.”
The mixture of butterflies and the burn of alcohol was intoxicating. Remus just laughed, rocking from side to side. He heard as one of their glasses toppled over behind him.
“You’re pretty too, Pads. Always so pretty. Fucking masterpiece. So beautiful,” Remus mumbled, running shaky fingers through Sirius’s hair. He picked up a strand, twisting it around his finger.
Sirius hummed appreciatively, closing his eyes peacefully, giggling sweetly. He was so pretty, so cute, so sweet. Remus loved him so much. “You should tell me that more often. Tell me again, Moony?”
Remus smiled, kissing Sirius on the forehead. “You’re pretty. The prettiest.”
Sirius giggled, pulling Remus down to kiss him softly. It was clumsy, but gentle and sweet. Sirius tasted like vodka and chocolate ice cream. Remus pulled away softly, smiling stupidly.
“That was stupid. I love you,” Remus said, giggling. He could feel the blush on his face.
“I love you too,” Sirius said sweetly, smiling adorably. “Can we do that again?”
Remus shook his head. “No. We shouldn’t. The press will have our asses for it. Minnie will have our asses for it.” Sirius pouted at him, and there went all Remus’s self control. Remus leaned down and kissed him again, soft and sweet.
“You’re so pretty. I love you,” Sirius mumbled sweetly. “Can we date? Please? Can we do this more?”
“Okay, Sirius,” Remus mumbled. After all, he never could say no to Sirius. “I’m sorry, Pads. I don’t want to hide you. I love you so, so much.”
“I don’t want to hide either, Moony. I just want to be with you,” Sirius said sweetly, with sad eyes. “I promise, Moony. I’ll take anything, as long as I have you.”
“As long as we have each other,” Remus mumbled, his face still close to Sirius’s. “I promise, Pads. I love you.”
“I love you too, my Moony. I love you too.” And they kissed again. And again. And again.