6x08
Three days later, Maya hesitated before unlocking the door to the apartment she shared with Carina. Her hands trembled slightly as she turned the knob, the silence in the space deafening. She stepped inside, her breath catching as her eyes swept the room.
It was empty.
Well, not completely empty. Her things were still there. The couch, the pictures, the furniture they had picked out together. But Carina’s presence was missing. The framed photos of their wedding, the scented candles Carina loved, the little touches that made this place feel like home—all gone.
Maya’s stomach dropped. She stepped further inside, her legs feeling heavy, like she was wading through concrete. The bedroom door was slightly ajar, and she knew—before she even stepped in—that Carina’s side of the closet would be empty.
Vic stood behind her, shifting awkwardly, unsure of what to say. “Maya…” she began, her voice softer than usual.
Maya swallowed hard and walked to the closet. The doors were wide open, and every trace of Carina was gone. The only thing left was a folded note sitting on Maya’s pillow. Her fingers trembled as she picked it up, unfolding the paper with deliberate slowness.
Maya,
I can’t keep doing this. I love you—I always have, and I always will. But love isn’t enough if you can’t fight for yourself. I have begged, I have pleaded, and I have waited. But I can’t be the only one fighting for us. I can't stay if your carrer is that only thing it matters for you.
I spend half of my life trying to safe my papa. I won't spend the other half trying to save you. I have to love myself enough to walk away.
Carina.
Maya clenched her jaw, her breath uneven as she stared at the note. A lump formed in her throat, but she refused to let the tears fall. Not yet. Not now.
Maya exhaled shakily, her grip on the paper tightening. “She’s gone.” The words felt foreign, like someone else was speaking them.
Vic hesitated before speaking again. “She wants you to fight for yourself, Maya. For your marriage. You need show her that she matters to you. "
Maya let out a bitter laugh, running a hand down her face. “I just don’t know if I know how.”
Vic stepped closer, resting a hand on Maya’s shoulder. “ Maya you didn't even started trying. Your wife was going through IVF own her own. Do you have any idea who hard that shit was ? Maya you need stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your situation. "
Maya blinked, Vic’s words hitting her like a punch to the gut. The reality of it all settled in, heavier than she could bear. Carina had walked away—not because she didn’t love her, but because Maya had given her no choice.
Her throat tightened, and she sank down onto the edge of the bed, gripping the note so tightly that the paper crumpled in her hand. She wanted to be angry, to lash out, to claim this wasn’t fair. But deep down, she knew fairness had nothing to do with it.
She had pushed Carina away. Again and again. Until there was nowhere left for her to go but out the door.
“Maya.” Vic’s voice was softer now, but firm. “You need to get it together. You need to fight for her the way she fought for you.”
Maya let out a shaky breath, her gaze fixed on the empty space where Carina’s clothes used to be. “I don’t know how to find this,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
Vic huffed, crossing her arms. “Well, for starters? Stop acting like the victim in your own mess. You shut her out, Maya. You let your career consume you. You got lost trying to get your Capitancy back and you forgot everything else in your life! You pushed away everyone that tried to help you and you blackmailed your boss-"
Maya eyes winded. " Did Andy -"
Vic cut her off. " I never bought that bullshit story Andy made up to make you look good. I'm not like Andy Maya I would make excuses for your shit just because you had a shit childhood. I know whatever you tough you had on Ross you used to try to get your Capitancy back. Girl you are lucky you still have a career and that Carina left you a latter instead of divorce paper. "
Maya stood in silence for a moment. " You guys didn't do anything to try to help me. "
Vic shook her head. " No we didn't and that was shitty on our part but Andy forced her hand to bench you and what you did ? You missed the call go her home because you were to busy running on that fucking treadmill. We should have reported you go Ross but let's be honest if we had done that you would probably have turned us into the bad guys. Andy would very likely have figured out how to pass the department physic aval. So don't try blame us for the mess you made of your life. "
Maya sat on the couch and stated at the blank TV. " Hudges I think you should go. I bet you have better thighs to do. "
Vic crossed her arms. " Actually I do. I won't be forcing you to accept my help. "
With that Vic left leaving Maya alone with her thoughts.
Later that day
Maya was cleaning her apartment when the bell rung. It was Jack. " Jack what are you doing here ?"
Jack walked in. " I tough you were dead. When I found you. I has been on a position -"
Maya cut him off. " Jack you were getting high with Rigo's wife! You don't get to come here and -"
Jack cut her off. " Maya I was fucked up but I'm getting help. And I don't have a wife that was trying to get pregnant. "
Maya looked down to the ground. " Well I'm not sure I have one either. Carina she left. Took all of her stuff- I really fucked up didn't I?"
Jack nodded. " Yes you did. But you still can fix it. Maya take a leave from work. Show Carina she is more important than your carrer. "
Maya swallowed hard, nodding slowly at Jack’s words. She knew he was right. Vic was right. Hell, Carina was right. But knowing it and doing something about it were two different things.
Jack sighed, leaning against the doorframe. “Just… stop running, stop working yourself into the ground, stop pretending like none of this is your fault.”
Maya scoffed, shaking her head. “You make it sound so easy.”
Jack gave her a look. “It’s not. But you don’t get to wallow in self-pity either. You messed up. Own it. And then fix it.”
Maya let out a long, shaky breath. The thought of stepping away from work made her stomach churn. Firefighting was all she had ever known, her identity, her purpose. But Carina… Carina had been her home. The only person who had ever truly seen her and loved her anyway. And now, she was gone.
Jack could see the war happening inside of her. “Take the leave, Maya. Call her. Show up for her. Just… do something.”
Maya rubbed her temples, exhaustion creeping in. “And what if she doesn’t take me back?”
Jack shrugged. “Then at least you’ll know you tried. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll learn how to be someone worth taking back.”
His words stung, but they also struck a chord deep within her.
Maya glanced at the crumpled letter still clutched in her hand. She ran her fingers over Carina’s handwriting, feeling the weight of every word. This wasn’t just about their marriage. This was about who she had become.
Jack’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he checked it before looking back at her. “I gotta go, but seriously, Maya… don’t let this be the thing that breaks you. Fix it.”
She nodded absentmindedly, watching as he left. The silence that followed was suffocating.
For the first time in a long time, Maya felt truly alone.
She sat in that emptiness for a long while, letting the reality of it all settle in. The life she had built with Carina was slipping through her fingers, and for once, she had no one to blame but herself.
Maya reached for her phone, staring at the screen as her thumb hovered over Carina’s name. Her heart pounded as she debated what to say—if she even had the right to say anything.
Finally, she typed:
I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I need you to know that I’m going to fight for us. I’m taking leave from work. I’m getting help. I don’t want to lose you, Carina. Please… can we talk?
Her finger hesitated over the send button, fear gripping her. But then she exhaled and pressed it.
Now, all she could do was wait.
A replay come back quickly than she expected. " If you are doing this so Andy won't report you to Ross please have the decency to be honest with me. If you really love me I need you either to really start prioritizing us or you let me go. I don't want you to give me an awser right now. I want you to think about what you really want. I will contact you when I ready to talk this trough right now I need space from you. "
Maya couldn't keep her tears from falling as she read Carina's message. She needed to fix this or she would lose her wife forever. ..
Meanwhile at Carina's office at Grey- Sloan
Carina was taking to Amelia. " I don't think I can trust that Maya is doing this for anything other than her career. "
Amelia leaned against her seat. " Carina I don't think what happened to Maya was only about her career. Beckett triggered her childhood trauma. She was going all eyes forward because growing up that was what kept her from having food denied, from having plates thrown at her. I think she was trying to get Beckett bullying to stop and to be honest I think she didn't wanted to be home because she didn't felt safe there. "
Carina crossed her arms. " So now she is the victim?"
Amelia shook her head. " I'm not saying that. I saying that she was having a trauma response. Carina you have been yelling at residents for no reason I bet you were doing even worse at home how do you think your anger made Maya feel considering the abuse she went through growing up?"
Carina waived her hands in frustration. " So now everything is my fault?"
Amelia rolled her eyes. " It's not about fault Carina is about the fact that Maya is not the only one who needs therapy or handling childhood trauma. You father didn't get help because he tough his manic crises were good for his career. Maya didn't get help because she is scared to face her past trauma. She was scared to face the reality of the abuse she went through. You remember she used to believe her dad was a hero. "
Carina exhaled sharply, rubbing her temples. "I know you're right, Amelia. I know I have my own trauma to deal with, but that doesn't excuse what Maya did. She pushed me away, she shut me out completely. And I... I let her. I let myself get consumed by my own anger, my own pain. I kept thinking that if I just yelled loud enough, if I just begged hard enough, she would hear me. But she didn't."
Amelia nodded. "Because she was too deep in survival mode to listen. That doesn't mean she didn't love you, Carina. It just means she didn't know how to show it the way you needed her to. But that doesn't mean you have to accept it, either. You're allowed to want more, to demand more. You are allowed even to serve her with the divorce papers if this is what you want but that doesn't change the fact you have your own shit to handle with. "
Carina took a moment before replying. " You are right. I tough I was over what my Papa put me trough but I'm not. I'm going to get back to therapy. As for Maya no matter what her reason are I can't put myself trough that again. If she is not willing to do the work to handle her demons I can't have them chasing me. "
Amelia nodded. " That I understand. You are right to lot want to live with her demons. But don't give up before she has time to face them. Just don't close the door just yet. I have to prep for sergury. "
A week later
Maya was laying on the couch strating at the celling when Andy walked in carrying bags of groceries. " What are doing here? I should have changed the looks when you moved out. "
Andy put the groceries on the counter. " Well I'm done giving you space. Ross told me you still didn't report to therapy. Maya that is what are you going to do ? Give up your carrer? Your marriage? Yourself?"
Maya didn't look at Andy. " Shouldn't you at work?"
Andy start to put the groceries out the bag. " I took vacation to look for a new house with Meredith but she was called into sergury today. But we are not here to talk about me. "
Andy set down a carton of eggs with a little too much force, the sound snapping Maya out of her daze. "Come on, Bishop, talk to me. What’s the plan here?"
Maya sighed, rubbing her temples. "I don’t have one."
Andy crossed her arms. "That’s not going to cut it. You’re telling me you’re just going to sit here and do nothing? How are you planning to pay the bills after Carina sends you the divorce papers and the department has you fired,?"
Maya exhaled sharply, sitting up. "Andy, I don’t know what you want me to say. I know I screwed up. I know I let her down. I know I let myself down. But I... I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know if I can. I don't know if I still can do the job and I still have Olimpic money saved so-"
Andy shook her head, clearly frustrated. "That’s bullshit. You’ve never been the person who gives up. You’ve fought your whole life. You fought your way into the academy, you fought for your captaincy. And now you’re just giving up? You are going to let Lane control you after all this time ?"
Maya’s jaw tightened. "I’m not giving up. I’m trying to figure out how to move forward."
Andy leaned against the counter. "Then start by getting off your ass and going to therapy. Ross said you will be fired if you don't. "
Maya scoffed. "You think therapy is just going to magically fix everything? It’s not that simple."
Andy’s voice softened, but her gaze remained firm. "No, it’s not. Actually you get worse before if gets better. Will make you face all the truths your brain ride from you , there will be flashback and nightmares but at this end of the road you will learn coping skills and you will heal. There will leave nasty scars and sometimes they will still hurt but the truma will no longer unconssiously control you. Maya if I hadn't gone to therapy I would have lost everything. Meredith, the kids , my career, you. That is what happens when you don't face your demons. They chase you and they distroy everything around you. "
Maya took a deep breath. " Okay I'm going to set an appointment with Daiane. "
A week later
Andy and Meredith were looking for yet another house. " Princesa this house is perfect. It has a big back yard and a pool. "
Andy bit her lip. " Mer but this place is really expensive is a not more than you will get from the insurance. "
Meredith pulled her arm around her wife. " Babe is not like we are in a budget restriction. We had this conversation when were got married. "
Andy shook her head. " It was different you sold the house you had with Derek and I had the money from my dad's I can afford my half on this house. "
Meredith kissed Andy's cheek. " You don't have too. Besides half of the insurance money is yours. Think about the kids are going to love this place.
Andy bit her lip, looking around the spacious living room with its high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows that flooded the space with natural light. She could already picture the kids running around, splashing in the pool, and making memories in a place like this. It was exactly what she wanted—a home, a fresh start—but the price tag still made her hesitate.
"Mer, I just... I don't want to feel like I'm just moving into your house," Andy admitted softly. "I want this to be ours. Something we build together. That is why I didn't want to love to your old house -"
Meredith turned to face her, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Andy's ear. " Babe that is different. The house I lived in when we meet was the home I had build with Derek. This is a house we are buying no batter writers the cheek."
Andy sighed, her resistance faltering. She knew Meredith meant it, but it was hard to shake the feeling that she needed to prove she could hold her own financially. Meredith pulled Andy closer. " Andy you take care of us in some many aways. Let me do this for our family. "
Andy took a moment before replying, her gaze flickering back to the house. It really was perfect. She exhaled deeply, then looked back at Meredith. "Okay," she said finally, her voice soft but steady. "We do this together."
Meredith smiled, pressing a kiss to Andy’s lips. "Together."
Andy nodded, squeezing Meredith’s hand before turning back to the realtor. "We’d like to move forward with an offer."
As the realtor beamed and started discussing paperwork, Andy felt something settle in her chest—a sense of home, of belonging. Maybe it was okay to let Meredith take care of her sometimes. Maybe that was what family was supposed to be.
Meanwhile at Maya's apartment
Maya was nervous it was her first appointment with Daiane the therapist was looking at her waiting for her to say something.
Maya took a deep breath. " I know a lot of firefigters only want for you too clear them for the job but I- I really want to get better. I want to face my demons before they distroy everything that I have build. "
Daiane took a moment. " What is this everything?"
Maya looked down at the ground. " Everything I build after I left my parents house. My career. The relationship I build with the people I love. My marriage. And the person I became when I stopped being who my dad wanted me to be. I don't want his abuse to control my life. I had stopped being that person a long time ago but my demotion and my Capitain's bullying is like if I was and addicted who had been clean for years than relapsed and fall down the wagon. "
Daiane nodded, jotting something down in her notebook before meeting Maya’s gaze again. "That’s a powerful realization, Maya. You’re acknowledging that the past still has a hold on you, even when you thought you had broken free. That’s the first step toward healing."
Maya exhaled, her fingers tightening around the hem of her sweater. "Yeah, well, realizing it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. I spent years proving to myself that I wasn’t him, that I was stronger than him. But the moment someone took my rank away, the moment Lane started pushing me down, it was like… I was a kid again. Weak. Helpless. And I hate that. I hate that so much."
Daiane leaned forward slightly. "It makes sense that losing your title would trigger those old wounds. Your entire life, your father taught you that your worth was tied to achievement. That if you weren’t the best, you were nothing. So when you were demoted, those fears resurfaced. Not because they’re true, but because your brain has been conditioned to believe them."
Maya let out a bitter laugh. "Great. So I’m basically programmed to self-destruct."
"No, you’re programmed to survive," Daiane corrected gently. " Kids depend on their parents for survival and when the parents don't make them feel save the brain develops ways of surving and for you that was winning. Winning was what kept you safe. I want you to build a time line for me. How was the first time you felt you had to win. "
Maya took a deep breath. " I was three. My dad was training my cousin and she lost the way he looked at her - I didn't want him to look at me like that and he was so angry - I was scared - losing made scared. "
Daiane took a pregnant pause. " Scared of what?"
Maya hugged her knees. " Of him. Of his anger. And of not getting food. I had to win to get food. If I would lose he would throw plates at me. He never hit me not as a kid but I was always scared he would if I didn't win "
Daiane’s expression remained calm, but her eyes softened. “That’s a lot for a three-year-old to carry. You learned, at such a young age, that love and safety were conditional. That winning wasn’t just about pride—it was about survival.”
Maya swallowed hard, her grip on her knees tightening. “Yeah. And the worst part? It worked. I won. I kept winning. And for a long time, I thought that made me strong.”
Daiane nodded. “Winning kept you safe back then. But now? What does winning mean to you now?”
Maya hesitated. “I think I still feel like I'm not worth if I'm losing. Like a part of me thinks that Andy only became my friend because I was useful to her at the academy, than because I was helping her becoming a Capitain - she hated me when I got the job. And everyone else in the 19 only puts up with me because of her- And Carina she felt in love with a Capitain. She proposed to a Capitain and -"
Daiane cut Maya off. " But your team still was there when Andy got transferred. They even excluded Sullivan when he stabbed you in the back. And Andy well you guys made up. She fought for you job didn't she ?"
Maya just nodded so Daiane kept going. " And your wife she didn't felt in love for the rank. She didn't propose to the Capitain. She married the person. Our Bain tends to look for familiar pardons even when they are unhealthy ones so you tend to look for your father in other people even when it's not there. We need to help you learn to disarm that mechanism. "
Maya took a deep breath. " How do we do that?"
Daiane look up at Maya. " It's a process. You need to connect with your past self. It's going to take time but I promise it's worth it. Why would you say to the three years old Maya?"
Maya took a moment. " That she was worth it. That her father wasn't a good person but she would find people that would love her even when she was losing. " Maya said as she cried.