6x09
Daiane had just left when Maya heard the bell bing. It was Carina. " I came to get my shampoo. The one in the hotel is terrible. "
Maya let Carina in. " I had my first therapy appointment. I know you are scared I'm doing that too keep my job but I promise that is not the case. I want to get better Carina. I didn't do all the shit I did because I wanted my job back I just wanted to stop feeling like I was worthless. I wanted to stop having my Capitan triggering all of my childhood trauma's I just tough if I got the job back or st list if I worked hard enough so Backett would respect me I would stop feeling all the pain that I was feeling. "
Carina sighed, crossing her arms as she studied Maya carefully. “. I know you were hurting,” she said softly. “But you shut me out. You pushed me away so many times, I started to think you didn’t love me anymore. That you had regretted waiting a family with me.”
Maya ran a hand through her hair, frustration and regret etched across her face. “I never stopped wanting a family with you. I never stopped loving you. I just... I didn’t know how to handle everything. And you were always so angry and Carina anger scares me.
Carina shook her head, stepping closer. “ I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you feel like you were not safe in your own home. The truth is you are not the only one with psst trauma to handle. The away you were acting reminded me so much of my Papa that I - I did everything I wanted to do when I was growing up but couldn't. I'm going to therapy too. But bambina we can't be tougher if we are going to be triggering each other childhood trauma's when things don't go the way we want to. "
Maya took a deep breath. " You are right. It's not healthy for either of us. I'm so sorry too Carina. For everything that I put you through. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you trough IVF. I'm sorry that I pushed you away and that I ignored you when you asked me to get help - My therapy it will make worse before it gets better so I think we should - we both need space from each other. "
Carina nodded. " We do. I wish things were different but this is where we are right now. "
Carina walked into the bathroom room and grabbed the shampoo. " I don't know if we can fix us but I really hope we can"
The Italian said before leaving.
Maya stood there watching as her wife walked way unsure of she would ever come back.
At the next day
Carina arrived at the Station for her shift at the clinic to find Andy making breakfast. " Ciao Andy. So who is the move going."
Andy looked up at Carina. " Well Meredith is handling most we will be moved by the end of the week. I have to say living at my wife's ex-husband is awkward even with us working in different shifts. Have you been talking to Maya?"
Carina nooded. " Si I just talked to her. I know she is really trying I'm just not sure will be enough. "
Andy flipped a pancake. " I wasn't sure too. When I got to therapy I wasn't sure would be enough. The thing with unprocessed childhood trauma is that gets worse before it gets better. Gets you to rember things you swore it never happened. At first all of my insecureties got so much worse that I tough about never seeing Meredith again and quitting my job. And with Maya I have to be honest I'm not sure Lane was never physical with her. I never was. "
Carina paused, her gaze softening as she processed Andy's words. She leaned against the counter, her arms crossed. "You think Maya was hurt more than she's letting on?"
Andy flipped another pancake, her expression pensive. " Carina I forgot my Tios and my cousin ever exited for years. And all the huge fights I witnessed between my parents. Or the fact my mom didn't have a funeral or that I had never been to her grave. Your brains do crazy thighs to protect you. I'm thing Maya dosen't remember Lane hitting her but that dosen't mean it didn't happen. "
Carina stood there, absorbing Andy's words, the weight of the conversation hanging heavy in the air. She had always known that trauma could affect someone in unpredictable ways, but hearing Andy speak so openly about her own struggles—about how she had to face memories she had buried for years—made Carina's heart ache for Maya even more. She could see how much Andy cared, how deeply she understood the complexities of healing.
"I never thought of it like that," Carina said softly, her voice quieter now. "I’ve always though Maya couldn't see what he did as abuse. I never thought about the possibility of her brain surprising memories. "
Andy paused, flipping the last pancake, and turned to look at Carina. " I never thought about too until it happened to me. And is brutal. I would have flash back's that caused me to have panic attacks out of nowhere. I would berley sleep it was really brutal. But after a while it stated to get better. And I went after Meredith. I told her why I did all the stupid things I did and she took me back. "
Carina looked down, her fingers nervously tracing the edge of the counter. “Do you think... do you think Maya will get better? That she’ll find her way back to me? To us?” Her voice wavered, a vulnerability seeping through that she rarely allowed herself to show.
Andy set down the spatula and leaned against the counter, meeting Carina’s gaze. “I think Maya is strong. Stronger than anyone gives her credit for. She’s fighting to get better, and that’s the first step. But... it’s going to be a long road. And I can’t promise you that it won’t be messy. Or that she won’t push you away again.”
Carina sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I don’t know how much more I can take. I love her, but... I have to protect myself too. I can’t keep breaking every time she does.”
“I get that,” Andy said softly. “You have to do what’s best for you. But whatever you decide, just know that Maya loves you. Even when she’s hurting, even when she doesn’t know how to show it... she loves you.”
Carina’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she looked away, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just wish love was enough.”
Later that day
Andy was watching Carina Interact with a pregnant patient. The woman was clearly flirting with the doctor and Carina was letting her. Andy saw them exchange numbers. As soon as she left Andy aproched Carina. " Don't do that Carina. Not to that pregnant lady, and not to Maya. If you want to move on its okay but get a divorce don't make a full of other people just because you feel lonely. "
Carina's eyes widened, caught off guard by Andy's bluntness. Her shoulders stiffened, and she turned to face Andy fully, her jaw clenched. "You don’t get to judge me, Andy. You don’t know how lonely it’s been. How much it hurt to watch the woman I love destroy herself and push me away over and over again."
Andy’s expression softened, but she stood her ground. “I know you’re hurting. But leading someone on isn’t going to make it better. It’s just going to make you feel worse.”
Carina looked away, her shoulders sagging. “I wasn’t trying to lead her on. I just... I just wanted to feel wanted. To feel like I mattered.”
Andy’s voice softened. “ I get that. When Derek got back to Seattle Meredith she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me. I went after my childhood sweetheart. The thing is I ended up breaking his heart when Meredith showed up with a ring I said yes. Ryan was always saying he knew was just sex but I knew it wasn't. He was an amazing guy and I broke his heart. Carina you can't either fight for your marriage or you can get a divorce and be lonely for a while until you are able to move on. You don't get to find someone to keep you company why Maya is getting therapy or serve as a plan B in cause things don't work out with the two of you. "
Carina looked down, shame flickering across her face. “You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s just... I miss her so much. Even after everything, I miss her. And I don't know if I can get back to her is so confusing. "
Andy softened, her voice gentle. “You don’t have to stop missing her. But you do have to be honest—with yourself and with her. If you’re not ready to move on, don’t pretend you are. And if you are... then you need to be honest about that too. It’s not fair to keep Maya hanging on if you’ve already let go.”
Carina’s eyes welled up, tears threatening to fall. “I'm not. I'm not sure if I can do back and at the same time I'm not sure you I can let go is so confusing. "
Andy nodded. " I know. After Derek got back I was not sure either. So I kept Ryan around while I let Meredith work to try to get me back. I wanted her to fight for me like she had did for Derek. I want to be sure she was really choosing me for good. I think you just want to be sure Maya is choosing you over the job. Over the fear of facing the past. "
Carina's eyes filled with tears as she listened to Andy’s words. Her defenses crumbled, and she sank against the counter, her shoulders trembling. “I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just... I feel so lost without her. I feel like I’m losing myself.”
Andy softened, stepping closer and placing a hand on Carina’s shoulder. “You’re not losing yourself. You’re hurting. And it’s okay to feel that way. But don’t let your wounds bleed on other people. "
Carina wiped her tears, nodding slowly. “I love her so much, Andy. I don’t know how to stop loving her and I'm scared loving her will make me lose myself. "
Andy grabbed Carina's hand. " Every flame will die eventually if there is no oxygen and full. If you dicided you need to leave Maya if you don't feed the love will eventually died. Will burn and will hurt like hell but it will die. But maybe you don't have to do that. Maybe you both can heal and you can become a better version of yourselves that dosen't have to become toxic when things go bad. Just give time you don't have to decide anything right now. "
Carina nooded. " Thank you Andrea. What made you decided to give Meredith another chance? What made you believe she was choosing you for good over Derek?"
Andy took a deep breath. " She put the house for sell. The house they built toughter I never felt really comfortable there it was their dream house. And she proposed. Meredith had always said to me she didn't considering getting married a second time. So when she proposed I knew what she felt for me and changed something in her. "
Carina took a deep breath. " But when did really stop being scared she would leave you for him?"
Andy took a pregnant pause. " After therapy. I had to process my mother's abandonment to feel really secure in myself. No matter how hard Maya works or if she asks to get demoted back to Probie as a gesture you need work your on trauma too. "
Carina bit her lip. "I guess you are right. In the end of the day I'm terrified of my marriage becoming about taking care of Maya's mental illness because all I went through with my father. I'm afraid to lose myself for her trauma like I lost myself for my Papa's bipolarity. I'm scared she will choose her career over me because that was what my Papa did. "
Andy nodded. " Than work on yourself. Even if dosen't work with Maya you will learn to not let your past control your future. "
At the next morning
Andy was walking towards her car when she spotted Meredith. " Hi babe..
Meredith kissed her. " Hi princesa. I have a suprise for you. Our home is ready. I got everything we need and I'm taking you home. "
Andy let out a smile. " But how - I mean we bearly have clothes and -"
Meredith cut her off. " I got everything cover. I know how uncomfortable being at Derek is for you and the kids need us around so I hurried things up a little. "
Andy felt a lump form in her throat at Meredith’s words. “You did this… for me?”
Meredith cupped Andy’s face, her thumb brushing against her cheek. “Of course I did, mi amor. You deserve to be at home. I made sure everything was the away you liked and got you the best kitchen equipment and well there is a surprise I'm sure you are going to love it. "
Andy exhaled sharply, overwhelmed with love for the woman in front of her. “I love you so much,” she whispered, pressing her forehead against Meredith’s.
Meredith smiled. “Good, because you’re stuck with me.”
Didn't take long before they arrived to their new home. Meredith guided her wife inside. " I managed to print all the photos we lost on the fire. "
Andy’s eyes welled up with emotion as she walked into their new home. The familiar images of their life together lined the walls—photos of their wedding day, Alex’s first steps, family vacations, and small but cherished moments captured in time. The effort Meredith had put into this overwhelmed her.
“You did all of this?” Andy whispered, her fingers grazing the frames.
Meredith wrapped her arms around Andy from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder. “I wanted us to feel at home again, mi amor. I know how hard it’s been, how much we lost in that fire. But we’re still here. We can rebuild.”
Andy turned in her wife’s arms, her hands resting on Meredith’s waist. “You always know what I need before I even say it,” she murmured, her lips brushing against Meredith’s. “Thank you that means the world to me. "
Meredith kissed her softly. “And you mean the world to me.”
Than they walked into the kitchen. " Mer this is amazing!"
Meredith kissed her cheek. " I wanted make your life easier in the kitchen but there us the surprise I told you about it "
Andy raised an eyebrow. “There’s more?”
Meredith grinned mischievously. “Follow me.”
She led Andy outside and took her to the pool house . When she opened the door, Andy gasped. The space was perfectly arranged—soft lighting, a large, cozy chair, shelves lined with books, and a brand-new set of gym equipment, a big TV and a set of video games.
Andy turned to Meredith, her voice thick with emotion. “You made me a space just for me?”
Meredith nodded. “I know how much you need balance, between work, being a mom, and everything else. This is your sanctuary. A place to clear your head.”
Andy pulled Meredith into a tight embrace. “You are incredible I wasn't really expecting that-.”
Meredith cupped Andy’s face, looking into her eyes. “ You deserved something special princesa. "
Andy kissed her deeply, pouring all her love and gratitude into it. When they finally pulled apart, she wiped her eyes. “I love you, Mer.”
Meredith smiled, brushing a strand of hair from Andy’s face. “And I love you babe. There is a few surprises in our bedroom.
Andy let out a smile. " I can't wait to see that. "
Meredith smiled back. " Than late me show you. "
A while later they were cuddling naked in their New bedroom. " Did you like the surprise?"
Andy let out a smile. " I loved. You definitely know how to keep me happy. We should get our babies back I have been away from them for to much long. "
Meredith pulled Andy into a kiss. " I love you. "
Andy kissed her back. " I love you too. "
Meanwhile at Maya's apartment
Maya gave a lot of tough before sending a text to Carina. " Car will asked me to be upfront and I have to honor your wishes. Healing won't be easy. I keep rembering things. Things that are not easy to handle. I think what he did to me will never go away completely. I understand If you don't want to handle with that. The truth Is I'm broken. But I don't need you to fix me. I'm going to work on fixing myself. And maybe we can figure out a way to fix us. "
Maya sent the massage than turned off her phone.