All That You Are

Their kiss replayed in her mind on a daily basis all the way until they were supposed to return to school. Theo and Draco had taken turns every day walking through the gardens with her as she slowly regained the strength in her body. The bruises were still there, but mostly all faded from the bruise paste that Draco insisted on applying every night before bed. He massaged her legs and hands until her eyelids were too heavy to keep open. They were all healing together. She never asked about what happened to Tiberius when Lucius had told Theo that he was now the head of the house Nott, and neither of them told her. Deep down she knew. They carried it in their eyes. 

Both of the boys carried the weight of the war just as heavily as she did, if not more. Almost every single cut and bruise had been healed besides the word carved into her arm. Theo winced every time that he saw it until she resorted to keeping it covered, long sleeves drawn to her wrists. Draco did the same every day. A week before they were supposed to return back to school, Snape appears in the gardens, arm extended silently towards her as she strolls through the gardens on his arm. He’s quiet before turning towards her. “We don’t have to talk about it, Snape. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. I never should’ve left you there.” Startled, her feet falter before she remembers herself and continues walking. 

“What choice did you have?” Snape didn’t say anything, merely nodded as he glanced at the roses as they passed. Her fingertips brushed against a thorn as she avoided his gaze. “You’re here to take me somewhere else again, aren’t you?” 

Snape nodded again, when her eyes landed on him again and she nodded, glancing down at her feet. “I am to take you to Dumbledore, who will bring you to Arthur Weasley. He will be bringing you to the Weasley’s. It was rather…complicated for him to persuade him enough to allow you to go there.”

“Why?”

“News was released about your…parentage. I attempted to fight it but there was nothing I could do. Gringotts is very silent in their affairs, the Ministry however, does not care who it affects with their announcements. Although, I am surprised that the news was released in fear that it would affect your place beside Harry.”

Hermione swallowed roughly, her eyes flitting to the covered arm tucked into Snape’s. “They would’ve found out sooner or later. It’s better to get it all out in the open while I can. What did Dumbledore tell Arthur?”

“That he told you to keep the news from them in fear that it would affect how the two boys viewed you. You didn’t have a choice who your parents were, but you had a choice in who you became.”

She snorted. “Sounds a lot like Dumbledore.”

Twenty minutes later she was standing in her room, staring at her trunk wondering what it was that she was forgetting before shuffling had her whirling around. Draco was leaning against the doorframe, a dark green sweater dangling from his fingertips. Her eyes widened. “Where did you get that!” 

“I found it when I went to retrieve your things from Nott Manor.”

“And I’m just now getting it back, because?”

“Well, to be fair it was mine to begin with, wasn’t it?” Hermione scowled, stepping forward to snatch it from his fingertips. He lifted it, holding it over her head and she glared at him. “I thought that I would be nice and what was that term that you used…snuggle it for a few nights.”

“I thought that Malfoy didn't snuggle.” Hermione jumped, her fingertips brushing against his arm before her hands found her hips. 

“True.” She scowled and contemplated whether or not she should stomp on his foot. “If you ask nicely maybe I will return it to you.”

Hermione glared at him, before whirling around and stomping over to her trunk. “Maybe I’ll ask Ronald for one of his sweaters to sleep in instead.” She was smiling when Draco’s hands were on her waist, spinning her towards him. 

“I dare you, Granger.” She smirked, raising her eyebrows at him before yanking the article of clothing from his hand against her hip and smiled triumphantly. 

“Well, we’ll see if this one bores me, I might want to see what I look like in Gryffindor colors.” 

Draco’s eyes flashed as he leaned towards her, his hand sliding beneath her jaw tilting her head up towards him. “Granger, if I get a single hint that you were traipsing around the Weasel’s house in his clothes, I will kill him. Understand?” 

Hermione swallowed, staring at him. “Fine. I like green better anyways.” She shrugged the heavy atmosphere off and turned, Draco’s hands still on her hips as she bent to open her trunk and threw the garment inside. There was cursing behind her before she felt Draco step away and she stood, grabbing his shirt before he got too far. “Where are you going?”

“You can’t just bend over in front of a man.”

“Why not? I was putting my sweater away.”

“MY sweater, you mean?” He narrowed his eyes on her. 

“No. I said what I meant.” Draco rolled his eyes at her before stepping away, his hand slipping into his pocket. Suddenly, he looked nervous and he swallowed before speaking, his eyes avoiding hers. 

“I-um. Well. Father brought me to the vaults the other day when I said that I wanted to do this..” He motioned between the two of them. “I wanted to do this properly if you would be interested and I picked something..” 

“Draco, breath.”

“Right, um.” He ran a hand through his hair before pulling a small box from his pocket. Her breath hitched and she stared at him. “Proper courtships ... .one wears a piece of jewelry saying that they’re being courted by somebody. It’s almost like a promise…and the jewelry can only be removed by you or I.” Draco carefully peeled the cover off of the box and extended his hand out towards her as she peeked inside. “I um, well I asked Snape and Theo if it was alright with them. Snape didn’t really say anything which was terrifying but I–I wanted to at least do something right by you.”

Hermione didn’t know what to say, and she stared at the piece of jewelry that Draco pulled from the box. It was a locket, a dark green emerald set in the middle of the black simple piece of jewelry. The chain was small, and it was simple. Her fingers brushed against the metal as he set it into her palm. Curious, she made a move to open the locket before Draco’s hands closed over hers. “There is a Portkey inside. If you’re ever in trouble, use it, it will bring you straight here.” Hermione didn’t know what to say, instead held the chain out to him. He stared at her confused, hurt slipping into his features. Her hands came up, scooping her hair as she turned away from him. “Granger?” 

“Put it on for me, please?” She peeked over her shoulder at him, catching his hands shaking as he undid the clasp. The necklace settled into the hollow of her throat and his fingertips brushed over the metal as he fastened the clasps. A thrum of magic spread across her skin as she turned around, dropping her hair against her shoulders. 

He was staring at the necklace, eyes dark before slowly dragging them up to her eyes. She smiled when he pulled her towards him, a hand brushing over her cheek.  “Did you mean what you said?” 

“About what, Draco?” 

He was staring at her, fingers brushing against the metal on the back of her neck.  “Loving me.” 

“Yes”

“Say it again for me?” His forehead rested against hers, his eyes closed. “Please?”

“I love you, Draco.” He sighed against her lips when he kissed her.  

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Her goodbyes to Theo were more heartbreaking and she found herself pretending not to have a panic attack when she followed Snape to the Apparition point outside of the gates. Theo and Draco walked with her, an arm tucked between an arm of each-she was sandwiched in between them. 

Theo tucked her against his chest, and she felt him tremble in her hold. “I love you, Theo.” 

“Dragon Leather. That's your emergency word, the second that you put that in your two way notebook, I will find you. Even if I have to destroy the bloody wards to get to you, I will come.” Hermione knew that was his way of saying ‘I love you too.’ and nodded before pulling back to stare at him. 

“That's technically two words, but I have to ask, why Dragon Leather?” Theo smirked but it was Draco who answered first. 

“Well, I highly doubt it would be a topic that would come up at the Weasley house. I doubt they would be able to afford them.” Hermione rolled her eyes and Theo smiled when she turned to give Draco a hug. 

“That is what we'll be wearing when we come looking for you of course.” 

“Ah yes, fashion is important when you're tearing the bloody world apart in search of me isn't it?”  The boys were beaming when she stepped away from them and grasped Snape’s arm. And yet, she found herself desperately searching out Theo’s eyes as Snape spun them to Apparate if only to remind herself that they weren't lifeless. 

They landed in a field, Dumbledore was waiting patiently with his hands clasped in front of him. His eyes were twinkling as he regarded her and she fought the urge to run away from his scrutiny. “Professor Dumbledore.” 

“Ms. Nott.” At her flinch he nodded. “Or would you prefer Ms. Granger?” 

For some reason she took it as a stab and narrowed her eyes at him. “I would prefer Snape over Nott any day, but for future reference Granger will do. Thank you.” 

Dumbledore’s mouth twitched before he held out his arm for her. “Come along dear, we mustn’t keep him waiting.” 

Hermione nodded, squeezing Severus’s arm as she stepped away from him and grasped onto Dumbledore’s. The Apparated quickly, landing in another field where Arthur Weasley waited, red hair fiery against the sky of the setting sun. He gave her a soft smile, extending an arm to her without a word before they were twirling again, landing just outside of a tilted house. It looked like somebody had taken glue and haphazardly combined different rooms and buildings to create a whole one. Hermione paused before going inside, taking a steadying breath when Arthur patted the top of her hand and led her through. Her things were waiting for her already, sitting neatly in what appeared to be the kitchen, pots and pans scrubbing themselves clean with magic. 

The faint smell of something cooking drifted to her nose and she smiled at the strange homey feeling she got inside of the bustling house–the chaos was similar to the Orphanage. The Weasley twins were sitting at the table playing a game of snaps, each of them giving her a smile as she entered. A clock on the wall gave the whereabouts to the rest of the brood. Ron was home, along with Molly and Ginny. Percy was out, as were Charlie and Bill. Hermione watched the hands on the clock display Arthur as home. The thundering sound of footsteps on the stairs had her eyes drawn to the source. Ginny Weasley was bounding down the stairs, her long red hair hanging against her shoulders and Hermione noted just how grown up she looked. The youngest Weasley had grown into her awkward limbs, freckles adorning her pale skin and bright eyes stared back at her while she smiled. 

“Hermione!”

“Hi, Ginny.” The redhead smiled at her, and she followed the pretty witch up the windy stairs. There was a bed on the far right when she opened the door, and another on the left, tucked against the too bright pink walls. Ginny wrinkled her nose when Hermione offered her a polite smile. 

“It’s, well…it’s very pink.”

“It’s horrid, I know. Mum likes it though, so.” She shrugged her shoulders and perched herself onto the edge of her bed, staring as Hermione unpacked her things. The bed was comfortable and kept her journals in her trunk afraid that Ginny might snoop through her things. Growing up in an Orphanage with other kids who didn’t care about privacy made you desperate for it. Ginny was practically bursting with energy and Hermione rolled her eyes, sitting on the edge of the bed as she perked up. 

“Go on then, I know you want to ask me.”

“So, you’re related to Theo?”

“Yes.”

“How did you find out? How are you related? Did you always know?”

Hermione raised her hand smiling. “I didn’t know anything about where I came from, I was at the Orphanage for a while, it was the only thing that I could remember. Snape came and took Guardianship over me when it was time for me to attend Hogwarts. Dumbledore had declared that we couldn’t disclose the information to anybody. I didn’t find out until second year whom I was related to. My mother wound up dropping me at the Orphanage because she was scared that my father was going to hurt me.”

“Ronald is angry with you.”

“Well, I didn’t do it to please anybody. Would you all have even wanted anything to do with me knowing who I was related to?”

Ginny pressed her lips together, picking at a stray thread on her jeans while Hermione stared. That alone was her answer. She had seen the way that people strayed from Theo, staying as far away from him as they possibly could like he had Dragon Pox. All because he was the son of a Death Eater. Would Harry and Ron even started a friendship with her if they knew in the beginning? Yes Hermione had helped Harry out, and they had grown close over the course of time but Ron had shown time and time again that he hated any of the Slytherins, and she was related to them. Prejudice ran strongly in all different forms.

Adjusting to the craziness was hard, Ron had barely spoken to her while she was there and she trapped herself in Ginny’s room while she read. Molly kept looking at her strangely, even when she was offering to help or helping with the mundane chores and responsibilities she thrust onto the only women in the house. The men didn’t do much besides exist. It was a strange dynamic but she couldn't help but volunteer. She already felt like an unwanted house guest. 

When Ginny had yelled up the stairs asking where Harry was, Hermione was halfway through brushing her teeth and bolted to the stairs, peering over the edge. When Hedwig made herself known, Hermione bolted down the stairs, smiling timidly at Harry who pulled her into a wary hug. Ronald had barreled down the stairs, and after saying his hello’s had embarrassingly pointed out the toothpaste on the corner of her mouth. Once they had all said their hello’s and were sitting cross-legged on the floor of Ron’s room, Hermione knew what was coming as they stared at her: green and blue swirling with questions and betrayal. “Go on then.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“How could you not tell us?”

Hermione stared at them, before twisting her hands together in her lap, nerves spreading through her like wildfire. “I-Dumbledore wouldn’t let me say anything.” 

“Oh, bollocks. You should’ve told us.”

“Why? So that you could call me the daughter of a Death Eater? I heard the vile things that you said to Theo, the things that you still say. Neither of us had a choice where we came from, we are judged off of the sins of our fathers and you expect us to just all be the same as them.”

“That’s not the same, Mione’ you…you’re different then them.”

“Am I? Would you have even given me a chance at friendship if you knew that I was Theo Nott’s lost sister? Or would you have treated me the same way that you treat every other Slytherin that you come in contact with. The same words that you so kindly grace Draco and Theo with every time that you’re in their presence.”

Harry and Ron didn’t say anything; Harry was looking at her as if he was trying to decipher a puzzle that he just realized was missing a piece, and Ron stared at her as if he was seeing her clearly for the first time. She wondered if they had ever really seen her at all. 

“You should’ve told us.”

“Perhaps.”

It took a few days after the conversation for both of them to trust her enough to discuss what happened after the Ministry. She didn’t tell them about the grotesque scar that purpled her skin between her breasts, or the fact that she almost died. Instead, she listened to Harry discuss his strange affinity with riding trains, sitting amongst a group of people that didn’t know who he was. He wasn’t the Chosen One, or Harry Potter, he was just another person riding the train to whatever destination he was heading to. Then, he went on to disclose that Dumbledore wanted Harry to be ‘collected’ by a Professor Slughorn that he had taken him to. Hermione wondered what was so important about the Professor that Dumbledore went out of his way to use Harry as a tool to get him at Hogwarts. 

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The potions were bottled in a light pink glass heart, making Hermione cringe. The twins of course, saw nothing wrong with selling love potions, they made a good profit from them enough to stay shelved. The way that Lavender was eyeing Ron made her realize just how dangerous and profitable that specific potion would be. Cormac McLaggen brushed past her, pressing his hand against her lower back as she turned just in time to see his eyes roam over her in a way that made her stomach twist in knots. He gave her goosebumps of discomfort. 

The week was…strained. The Daily Prophet reported the arrest of Lucius Malfoy; his sentence to Azkaban was something that the Weasley’s seemed to celebrate when they thought she wasn't aware. Yet, when she found herself scribbling in the notebook asking if Draco was okay, there wasn’t a single response until this morning. I miss you. Simple, short, and heartbreaking.  As the Weasley’s congregated ahead of her, a sea of red that she trailed after, Harry slipped beside her. It was a beautiful day, the light blue sky didn’t show the promise of rain that you could smell in the air around them. A rock bounced off of Harry’s shoe, clattering across the cobblestones, the sound echoing off the silent streets around them. 

It was strangely quiet, posters slapped across most of the store fronts; many of Bellatrix, Lucius and Greyback staring back at her. She tried not to dwell on the fact that Lucius’s said captured. Or the fact that Bellatrix was alone with Theo and Draco at the Manor doing god knows what to them. A shudder ran down her spine, as her eyes flitted back towards the uneven stones beneath her feet.  “Hermione?”

“Harry?” Anxiety slithered into her veins as she tried to keep her voice even. 

“I’m sorry.” Her feet almost faltered, and she righted herself. 

“Erm, for what?”

Harry was silent again, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers, tilting his eyes up towards the sky with a squint to those green eyes. “I was thinking about it when I saw the papers the other day–about Lucius. How helping us, being friends with us–with me–puts you in an awkward position with your brother and Malfoy. I just…I don’t understand how you can be close to somebody like that…” He still didn’t look at her, green eyes now cast towards the cobblestones. “We’re fighting on different sides…Malfoy and I, and yet you….I don’t…Theo I understand now, you being siblings and all of that but..I don’t get Malfoy.”

Hermione was quiet as they apparated back to the Burrow, and Harry followed her to the tree line as her toes brushed along the array of things across the forest’s edge–pine needles, grass, stones. The mesh of it conveyed the jumble of her mind as she tried to find the correct words to convey what she wanted to. Everything was so complicated. Harry was basically telling her that he didn’t understand how she could be on the Dark Side, and part of her wondered if she should defend Draco–if that would make her spy worse or come up with a lie about how they had cut ties. What if the Order tried to use her as a spy too, to prove her loyalty? What if she failed? Who would all die because of her mistakes? What if she still wasn’t good enough?

Her head lifted, eyes scanning the swaying trees and for a moment she wished that she could float away with the wind too, she was so tired of swaying in the uncertainty of her value, and the uncertainty this life brought. When she spoke, her voice carried over the soft wind, drifting her words over the trees.

“When I first met you, we were both children trying to survive in a world that was far too cruel to us for simply existing. I found solace in my books, and you found solace in a girl who would bring you scraps of her food even if it meant that she was without. I went many nights hungry, able to sleep knowing that the boy I had come to care for was sleeping at least with a full stomach. I knew your living arrangements; I knew the pain that you suffered every single day that you never asked for. I stood beside you to fight any and all things thrown your way without ever batting an eye.” Her hand came to rest on the necklace tucked between her breasts. “You, Harry, had some form of solace in the darkest days of your life when others had none.”

She turned towards him, and he was staring at her with misty eyes, making the green vibrant against the darkening sky. She wondered if it would sprinkle or downpour. “Tell me, Harry, when Dumbledore sent Hagrid to your door to retrieve you did you ever think that you would be facing a Dark Wizard your first year?”

“I didn’t even think that I was a wizard, Hermione.” 

“When you were thrust into this light you were already on the path that shined so brightly that it cast out the shadows of your past threatening to drag you under. Theo and Draco…they have only ever had darkness, no matter where they went. That doesn’t mean that they’re not trying to do the right thing, that they’re not trying to live the only way that they know how. You see the side of Draco that takes the brunt of every hit thrown towards his friends if only to protect them the same way that I know you do for Ronald and I. You’re both far more similar than either of you would care to admit.” Hermione watched as Harry fought a scowl, turning his face so the wind scattered his black hair unevenly, “Sometimes people just need to be shown the way, to have a little light on their path to remind them that they can escape the clutches that darkness has on them.”

Harry was silent for a moment, before turning back towards her, green eyes bright as he studied her. She wasn’t sure what his reaction was going to be. “Lucius saved you at the Ministry. I didn’t see it, but I knew that you were too busy making sure that Sirius lived that you almost died.” He choked, swallowing roughly. “Malfoy…he…he sent Dobby to me with a message keeping me updated on your healing.” 

Hermione stilled, her heart thudding rapidly in her chest as all thoughts vacated her mind. Draco did what? “I had sent Dobby there, shortly after Dumbledore told me about the Pro–after he had stopped me from killing Bellatrix, and stopped Voldemort from killing me. After I had heard that–about what you did from Ron and how you had looked dead disappearing with Lucius and Theo’s dad, I sent Dobby there to check on you.”

She wasn’t breathing. “What?’

“Dobby came back and said that Malfoy would keep me updated on your condition…that they were fighting to stabilize you….fighting to save your life. Hermione….Lucius saved your life. He risked his life in a room full of other Death Eaters to bring you to his Manor and made sure that you lived. When I asked you why you did it…” he was quiet, tilting his head back towards the Burrow as she watched his hair fly in the wind. “I never thought about it that way, the way that you just described. Malfoy…he didn’t have to tell me about your healing, his father didn’t have to risk his life and his family’s life taking you out of that room…” 

Hermione was lost, careening back towards Earth at a speed faster than she could spellcast, trying desperately to grasp onto Harry’s scattered words as they drifted into the wind.

“I guess what I’m trying to say to Hermione is that I understand now…I understand what you see in a way. I didn’t think about it until I had to. Until Malfoy was making sure to keep you alive. Lucius could have left you there, and the entire time at the Ministry he could’ve killed me or you, and he didn’t. Lupin said that he noticed him deflecting spells from hitting you the entire time and never once cast a spell towards any of us. He was and has been protecting you the entire time that you were protecting Sirius–I could’ve lost both of you that day. You risked your life to protect somebody that I love…and you almost died yourself in the process. Yet, while I was chasing Bellatrix down the hallway because I thought that she killed Sirius, I almost lost you. The only person that had your back was a Death Eater–was Malfoy.” 

Her mouth dropped open, then closed, then opened again as she wondered just what she was going to say to him. There weren't any words. This man was telling her that she understood her personal ties…that he understood what she saw in them. 

“That doesn’t excuse his actions. It doesn’t excuse the things that he has done, but…I can understand….” His green eyes met hers fiercely. “He loves you, Hermione. And for somebody who has been chasing that same love my entire life….a love like my mother and father had….it’s something that you fight for.”

She crossed the small space between them then, throwing her arms around his middle as she collided into his chest. Harry seemed to have braced for her, barely stumbling against her weight as she threw herself against him. His arms encircled her, wrapping around her waist as his hand rested against the back of her head. It was a similar embrace to Draco and yet completely different. Harry held her as she cried tears into his chest; tears for Tiberius’s torture, tears for Theo’s eyes still burned into the back of her mind, for Harry holding her even though she was betraying him to protect Draco and Theo….to protect him. 

As she clung to his back she knew that she would die for him. She would have died for every single one of them without question.