Unexpected Sacrifices
The plan…well the plan had gone to shit. He was dead and Hermione had to be Stupefied in order for him to check her wounds. She was passed out on his bed, chest rising and falling as he stared at her. She was deathly thin. Hair fanned out across the bed behind her matted with blood and wood splinters. He had tried to clean it the best that he could, but without a bath it wasn't much help.
Her hair had always been as wild as her.
Her arm was bleeding profusely, the goblin blade–he was guessing–had ripped through her skin, the jagged words red against her complexion. Even Stupefied she was trembling and twitching, aftereffects he knew too well from the Cruciatus Curse. There was bruising all over her body, scattered across various body parts. He took a sip from his fire whisky and set it on the table beside him. He was watching the healer work, her fingers trembling as she tried to make quick work over what she could.
She had finished and Draco wondered if she was even a healer after all. He waved her away, picking up the bruise paste as he dipped his finger into it. Slowly, he started to massage it into her tense tendons, only on the skin that was accessible. He wouldn't touch her anywhere else unless she was awake, healing or not. His fingers were trembling from a tether of rage he was barely keeping in check. He had promised to protect her. The plan was supposed to work.
He shouldn’t have ever let her leave his father’s office and go back there.
After tipping a Calming Draught down her mouth and a Pain Potion he Rennervated her, watching as her terrified eyes blinked open. Every muscle he had just massaged locked, and she hissed through her teeth as she sat up quickly, hair tumbling down her back. Draco hoped that he would get here soon. Make things easier for him to explain. He needed help. Hermione's eyes scanned the room before falling on him, her chest already rising and falling with a panic he knew was unfurling within her chest.
“Draco.” It was cracked, strangled and almost tore him in two. He watched her eyes widen, horror entering as they swirled with grief. “Theo!” She was scrambling towards the fireplace, legs shaking as she grasped onto the bed post. He stood quickly, hands resting on her hips.
“Hermione. I need you to listen to what I tell you. Can you do that for me?”
“I can't listen, Draco. Theo is... he's…he's.” Tears spilled from her brown eyes, and he realized even when crying they were beautiful. Pools of honey.
“Listen to me darling.” She clutched desperately to the lapels of his jacket, and he was keeping her upright as she leaned into him. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Listen to what I tell you.” He backed her up until her knees hit the bed and she sat, staring up at him with broken, desperate eyes. “This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to go in and get you out. The wards wouldn't let my father or I in. It had to be somebody that the house registered and allowed. It had to be somebody that Tiberius trusted. He must have realized…caught on or something. I don't know what happened.” She was staring at him, confused. “It wasn't Theo, Hermione.”
“I saw him, Draco. I saw his eyes!”
“It was Vince. He offered to go and retrieve you for us, because your father broke the agreement. He knew he did. He was planning on killing you and I couldn't get to you. Theo couldn't get to you because he was on a mission from the Dark Lord. We knew if you knew that he was gone that you would've stopped him. He didn't have a choice…he had to go. So, Vincent offered to take Polyjuice and stay at the Manor to keep an eye on you.”
“I don't …I don't understand. It wasn't Theo?”
“No. Theo’s fine. He's on his way here right now.”
“I don't believe you Draco.” His chest panged but he understood. He didn't think that he would've believed anybody if he was in her shoes. “I have to...where is he?”
As Draco opened his mouth to speak his fire roared to life, casting a green light through the room. Hermione flinched, her eyes widening as she cast her gaze to who stepped out.
Draco held her, watching as her eyes widened. Theo took her in, holding his breath as his eyes flitted over her. Draco knew the guilt that was rolling through his veins, but he also knew it wasn't as strong as the anger. Seeing her like that….it made him want to kill Tiberius. Theo took a step towards the fireplace, his blue eyes almost black and Draco knew what he was thinking about doing.
He had promised it a thousand times.
But Hermione broke and Theo’s eyes snapped back to hers. “Theo.” He held her as she tried to claw her way to Theo, and Draco watched as he took quick steps to her, his arms pulling her against his chest and from Draco’s embrace.
He was the only man allowed to.
His hand landed on her matted hair attempting to smooth it as they dropped to the floor, Hermione pooling in between his legs as he rocked her back and forth. Suddenly she was pulling back, looking into his eyes. “What. What was the first thing that I said to you that told you I knew you were my brother?”
Theo inhaled sharply, staring back at her. “You asked if I had our mothers' eyes.”
Hermione gasped, as she fell against Theo's shoulder letting strangled sobs free against his chest. Theo held her as she sobbed, until she fell asleep against his chest on the floor, her fingers clinging desperately to his robes. They carefully placed her on the bed, tucking the blankets around her shoulders. She didn’t even stir and when Draco lifted his eyes to Theo’s, he knew that he was already planning the same thing that he was. “Mip.”
The elf popped into the room, wringing his hands together as he bowed. “Yes, young master Draco?”
“Please retrieve my mother after I go through the floo and tell her that I asked her to remain here with Hermione until we return.” The elf nodded, disappearing as Theo stepped into the floo, and Draco waited.
After a moment Theo’s face appeared in the fireplace. “It’s done, you’re back on the wards. I don’t know if he’s here. I haven’t searched the house yet.” Draco didn’t waste any time, stepping into the fireplace and dropping the powder at his feet.
-
-
-
-
He wouldn’t have recognized it as her room if somebody showed it to him. All of her books were buried in her trunk at the end of her bed, collecting dust as if they hadn’t been used for months. One of Draco’s sweaters was stuffed underneath her pillows and his breath caught in his throat. There was blood on the floorboards, dried and stained as a reminder of her torment within these walls. Draco was trembling as he sent everything back to the Manor and it wasn’t from the spell that took a piece of him with it.
The Dark Mark was a nasty thing, and his arm still hadn’t healed fully from the skull and snake marring his left arm. It felt like corruption, bleeding him of everything good as it seeped into his being. The memory of the light leaving Tiberius’s eyes played in his mind. Draco was angry that it was so quick. That he had tormented two people that he loved and yet when Draco and Theo had raised their wands and cast the killing curse for the first time, they did it together. Sacrificing a piece of themselves for the same girl that they knew would do the same. Hermione wasn’t a killer. But Draco saw the pieces of her slowly disappearing as she desperately tried to save everybody around her.
It didn’t take killing curses to break pieces of your soul off. Sometimes the darkness around you had a way of doing that just fine.
Draco had seen the damage. The extent of what she had been through and yet he felt as though he didn’t know the half of it. Bloody handprints on the wall, the goblin blade discarded on the floor as if it didn’t matter that it was used to filet innocent skin. Glass shards across the floor in dried pools of streaked blood from her bare feet as she attempted to escape.
No, Tiberius was killed much swifter than he would’ve liked. Much swifter than he deserved. Draco was about to leave when he found a small stack of letters poking out from underneath the bed. Each one addressed to different people, and he realized that these were her goodbyes. She never expected to make it out of there alive. A heavy dread settled in his chest as he stared at the one with his name scrawled on the front. For a moment he wondered if he should open it, see the words that graced the paper, but it felt like a betrayal. She was still here, and he knew what one could say when you were desperate enough to believe that you weren’t going to ever get to say them.
The powder fell from his hands, and he muttered the destination as the flames carried him until he was standing in his own room, staring at the witch that encompassed his every thought. She was still asleep and Narcissa sat up at his arrival, blue eyes full of unspoken questions. “Draco?”
“It’s done, mother.”
She looked sad, pressing her lips together and giving him a tight nod. Then she was gliding across the room, her hand pressed against his cheek just before the soft brush of her lips followed. He barely felt them. “I hope that there are still pieces of you left when this is over, Draco. I never wanted you to give any away in the first place.”
“I don’t know if I’ll have anything worthy enough to keep.” Blue met gray as she stared back at him, taking his omission with her as any mother would.
“You will be whole together.”
“What if she doesn’t want me when all of this is over? What if–” Draco swallowed his fears down. Malfoy’s weren’t allowed to be vulnerable. They weren’t allowed to be scared. Fear had to wait, it had to be nonexistent.
“Dragon, what you two have is worth starting a war over. It’s worth surviving for.”
Draco’s eyes flitted to where Hermione slept, watching the soft rise and fall of her chest and the curve of her lips. “I love her, mother.”
“I know.”
-
-
-
-
Hermione blinked her eyes open as the sun poured onto her face. It was caressing every inch of her that was desperate for warmth. Except inside she still felt cold. Theo’s lifeless eyes still haunted her thoughts and the past few nights she had awoken screaming until another potion was poured down her throat. They had wanted her to sleep, to heal. She didn’t blame them, being awake meant feeling and she didn’t want to feel a thing. Her toes brushed against the floor as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. The heels of her hands dug into her eyes as she pressed desperately trying to erase the image from her mind.
It didn’t work. She felt disgusting, hair matted with dried blood and memories clinging to her skin. They had attempted to Scourgify her hair, clothes and skin but it could only do so much. Shaky fingers attempted to peel off her dress as she huffed in annoyance. Footsteps had her spinning around, staring at the tall form that was leaning against the bathroom frame. “I didn’t know that you were awake.”
“I wanted to take a bath.” Draco nodded, pushing off from the door frame as he made a move to turn and leave. “Draco.” She watched him stop, his back to her as she mustered up the courage. “Can you…can you help me? …please…”
He turned after a moment, taking slow steps towards her until he was right in front of her. She wondered when he had turned into a man. He had shot up again, towering over her just enough for her to have to tilt her chin back slightly in order to look at his eyes. What used to be sharp features had smoothed into lines worthy of being in a display. He was a god standing before her as though she wasn’t anything but a dirty mess. He made no move to touch her, his hands resting at his sides, and she knew that he wouldn’t do a thing unless she told him to.
She swallowed, closing her eyes. “I need help with the buttons.” Three heartbeats later she opened her eyes and watched his hands hover over the buttons to her dress before carefully undoing them. Once he was done, he paused, flicking his gaze to her eyes. “Can you…help me take it off?” Something flickered in his eyes before it disappeared and he nodded, gently tugging the robe from her shoulders as he kept his eyes locked onto hers. She wondered if he viewed her differently. If he didn’t find her attractive and something panged in her chest as she thought about how he might just be stuck with her now.
“What are you thinking about, Hermione?” His voice was a soft vibrato that caressed her spine.
She ground her teeth together, shaking her head as they found the flesh of her lips. His hands dropped to his side again and she watched the specks swirl inside of his eyes. “Would you…. would you mind washing my hair for me? My arms and hands are trembling too much I–”
“Yes.” She nodded and watched as he turned around, staring at the wall as she shakily shed the rest of her clothes. He had flicked his wand at the tub, filling it with hot water and bubbles with the faint smell of lavender swirling around them. Her legs wouldn’t cooperate as she tried to lift them into the tub, her muscles too sore and shaky to support her weight. She bit her lip as color flushed her cheeks.
“Draco?”
“Granger.”
“Can you…never mind that’s too–” Uncertainty caused her to inhale, stopping the sentence.
“What do you need, Hermione?”
She bit her lip, yanking a piece of her nail off as she picked at them nervously. “I can’t get into the tub…” She wondered if he heard her, as they both stood there quietly, the meaning of the words hanging between them. Then suddenly she heard him turn before his voice echoed off the walls.
“Can I touch you?”
“Yes.” She wondered if the word carried her what she felt inside as she whispered it. Gently his hands smoothed over her skin, palms sliding underneath her legs as he lifted her gently into the water. They stayed on her for a moment, steadying as she lowered herself into the water, and she noticed that it still didn’t warm her as much as Draco’s touch did. It felt like he was chasing away all of the cold that had seeped into her bones. When did he start to leave a fire from his touch alone?
His hands slipped from her as she disappeared underneath the water, wetting her hair. When she came back up Draco was kneeling next to the tub, his silver eyes locked onto her face. She spun around until her hair draped over the side of the tub and she felt the cold shampoo against her scalp. Long, lean fingers danced through her hair as he carefully untangled the knots while he worked the soap into her hair. She hummed as his fingers massaged her scalp, then her neck and she wondered if her touch did the same thing to him. She scrubbed carefully at her skin, fingers trembling as the water swirled with blood and dirt. He tapped her shoulder softly, and she leaned forward to go under the water again when he stilled her, summoning a cup that he scooped water into and poured over her curls. When he was finished, she felt him move behind her and she glanced over her shoulder to find him standing holding a towel in his arms. She stood shakily, water falling off of her skin. Draco’s eyes scanned her body as he gulped, before gray eyes met hers. There was a light flush across his cheeks as he stared back at her.
Draco’s hand stretched towards her, and she placed her palm into his as she noticed that his sleeves hadn’t been rolled up. She stilled, halfway out of the tub as she stared at him. His eyebrows pulled together in confusion as he tugged on her gently, and she stepped out completely wrapping the towel around her. “What’s wrong?”
“Why didn’t you roll your sleeves up, Draco?” He froze, one arm wrapped around her while the other hung loosely at his side. Then, he stepped back, attempting to sever contact completely before her hand shot out and grabbed his left forearm. He hissed, yanking his arm from her grasp as he stepped back more. She followed after him. “You…let me see it.”
Draco shook his head, and she clutched the towel as she followed after him. “No.”
“Let. Me. See. It. Malfoy.”
Before he could shake his head again, she was yanking his sleeve up and the dark edges were barely visible before he yanked it away from her again, his eyes lit with a fire and rage that she had never seen directed at her before. “Don’t.”
“Show me.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Malfoy.”
“Granger.”
She crossed her arms, dripping water onto his floor and he flicked his eyes over her before casting a drying charm and she shivered in the cold air. “Why?”
“Because. It was a price I had to pay.”
“It seems that we both paid a price, didn’t we?” She whispered the confession between them, an offering.
Draco’s eyes narrowed before flicking to the arm that was crossed against her chest. They both knew the word that Tiberius had carved into her skin. Nott. It was a reminder, a brand; a name that encompassed exactly who she was but pretended not to be. “You’ve paid more.”
“How? How have I paid more than that?” Her hand motioned between them, slapping back down against her arm, skin connecting with skin, and she winced.
“You’re not the only one tied to somebody that you don’t want to be.” Hermione felt like she had been hit by a truck as she stumbled back from his words.
“Is that what you think?”
“Hermione…I took your freedom, your choice. You’re betrothed to me; do you understand what that means? A marriage contract that was signed in blood. There is no breaking it even if I wanted to grant you your freedom. You’re tied to me even if Voldemort wins the same way that I am tied to him no matter what. If I didn’t receive the mark, he would’ve killed every single one of you. How could I possibly protect all of you if I didn’t do what he wanted? How could I not accept whatever mission he threw at me without endangering Theo, my parents, Pansy, Blaise…you…I have to make sure that you’re all safe…I have to...” Draco was breaking, and she watched as his head dropped, staring at his feet.
It was the only thing that she felt like she could say. The only thing that could convince him of anything. “Do you think that the only way I would have agreed to marry you was through a contract?” Draco shook his head, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes before letting out a breath. He was still so far away, and she took the moment to step towards him. His hands dropped and eyes flew to her feet eyeing the distance between them warily. Still, he didn’t answer. Then, silver eyes met hers and he nodded.
“You foolish boy.” She stepped into him then, closing the distance as he stared down at her, holding his breath. “Do you not know how I feel about you already? Have I not done enough to convince you, to show you just how much and how deeply I love you, Draco?”
He let out a stuttered breath, his hands coming to rest on her hips as though she was the only thing that was keeping him upright. His breath ghosted across her face as he whispered his confession. “I don’t deserve it.”
She stepped onto her tiptoes, legs shaking as she tried to hold herself up until she found purchase on his chest, her palms flat against the fabric of his shirt. His heart was pounding against her palm, and he tilted his head up slightly until her lips met his. It was a searing kiss, his arms wrapping around her as he lifted her against him, her feet dangling over the floor. She pulled back enough to whisper against his lips. “You marked my heart before there was ever a single mark on my body, Malfoy. You are the only one that I wouldn’t rid myself of if given the choice.”
He groaned, capturing her lips again as he turned, falling against the mattress with her pressed against him. He caught them with one hand, pressing her gently into the blankets and she sighed against his lips. Everything was on fire, every inch of her skin that was in contact with his body. He was kissing her with desperation, fear, love, everything that they hadn’t been able to convey to one another in words in their time apart. In their time growing together. He had always been the half of her soul that she had been searching for. He pulled back from her, lifting himself off of the mattress before opening his eyes to stare at her. His cheeks were flushed, lips swollen from her stolen kisses and normally gray eyes were almost dark black as he stared at her. “You’re so beautiful, Granger. I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you sooner…” His lips trailed kisses over her cheeks, nose, forehead, chin, lips until he had tilted her head to the side and found new territory in the skin of her neck. They brushed up against a spot behind her ear and she gasped, her back arching off the bed and into his chest. Draco stopped moving, and she felt his breath halt before it brushed against her skin again as he spoke. “Hermione….”
“Draco. Please.” If she was staring at herself, she wouldn’t have recognized the voice that came from her, it was husky and wanton, and Draco groaned against her skin before his teeth nipped the underside of her earlobe. She gasped again, tangling her fingers into his hair as she tugged gently. A moan escaped her as he pressed his leg between her thighs, and she rubbed against him in desperate need of friction. She knew when this was over, she would be embarrassed, but now she didn’t care as Draco groaned against her skin, his fingers brushing against her nipple over the towel. Just as she was pulling Draco’s lips back to hers there was a distant crack before a voice cut through the fog.
“I am to remind Master Draco of what Missus Narcissa told him–”
“Get the fuck out, Mip.” Hermione blinked her eyes as he growled the words towards the elf and her hand came up to swat at his shoulder. Draco was covering her almost completely, shifting his body so that she was shielded from the house elf.
“Missus Narcissa says that there is to be no sex–”
“FINE. Get out, Mip.” After a moment there was a crack and Draco dropped his head onto her shoulder with a groan. “Bloody hell.”
Hermione giggled, pressing her hand over her eyes as the laughter ebbed until she was laughing so hard that she couldn’t breathe. When she pulled her hand back, Draco was staring at her with an expression that she couldn’t decipher but it knocked the wind from her lungs anyways. When the laughter died on her lips she smiled at him. “I’m sorry, that was mortifyingly hilarious and every bit your mother as I would imagine.”
Draco didn’t say anything, instead stepped back from her, offering a hand as she sat up. He was still staring at her, and she flushed. “What?”
“I didn’t think that I would get to hear you laughing again, Granger. I’ll take being blocked by an elf any day if I’m rewarded with that.”