Chapter 7
“I invited Regulus,” James said suddenly.
Remus looked up at him and sighed, “Did you really?” he asked sarcastically.
“Yeah. He kinda slammed the door in my face after that though…”
“He's a right prick. Sirius said he was gonna pop by if he could, which is a yes from him. Don't bet on Regulus showing up though,” Remus scoffed.
“I know, I really hope he does though-”
“Unlikely.”
James glared at him so Remus threw his hands up in surrender.
“As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, I hope he does. He's young, he should experience stuff like this before he marries and has kids, you know?”
“I told him the same thing. He called me broke and then marched off like the prick he is. Couldn't have chosen a worse person, could you?” Remus chuckled.
“I swear he's sweet on the inside!” James protested.
“Like you've been in his insides.”
“That's not what I meant! I'm not you, Mr ‘I fuck everyone on the first date’”
“Sorry that some people actually want a piece of me. Can't say the same about you.”
“Tell me, who was the best you've ever done?”
“Oh, Sirius, without a doubt. The noises he makes are out of this world. And he looks so pretty, all spread out over the bed, ass stuffed,” Remus said nonchalantly, raising a brow in James' direction.
“You think Reg is similar?” James sighed quietly, avoiding meeting Remus’ eye.
“How the fuck should I know? But no, he'd be quieter and probably more shy about everything. Might need more time to open up.”
“Maybe, yeah.”
Remus rolled his eyes and turned away from James to continue getting ready. James was being foolish. He didn't have a chance with Regulus, not in a million years. He was as good as married, not to mention very obviously a straight male. He wouldn't even think about getting with James. He'd probably turn his snobby nose up at the very thought of it.
“Peter and Marlene are gonna be there too,” James piped up.
“Who?” Remus asked, confused.
“Oh yeah, Peter, our roommate and his friend, the girl from earlier, Marlene. I was talking to them earlier. Did you know they both speak English?”
“No,” Remus snorted, not really interested in what James was telling him, but letting him ramble on while his mind drifted back to Sirius.
Specifically his wrists, his hands, his neck, his thighs, his mouth, his hair, his eyes; so cold but so full of life and joy. He truly was remarkable. Remus couldn't imagine a life without him in it anymore.
“I'm gonna ask Sirius out,” he interrupted James’ rambling. The boy instantly shut up and gazed at him.
“You are?” he asked, surprised.
“Yeah. I think I'm done with playing, at least for now. And I can see a future with Sirius. I want to settle down. I'm not getting any younger, you know,” Remus snorted.
“You? Settle down? Jeez Remus, you make yourself sound about 50! You're 19, don't rush things,” James laughed.
“I'm not rushing anything! It just feels right. It's like how being friends with you feels right too. We were meant to be together, James, and I think the two of you will make really good friends.”
James hummed and they both fell silent. He wasn't rushing things, was he? He has known Sirius for what? 3 or 4 days now? And they had spent a lot of time together. They would have enough time to figure everything out after they docked. And if Sirius said no, that would be fine too. They only had a few more days until they got to New York and they would never have to see each other again.
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Personally, James thought Remus was being slightly foolish. He hardly knew Sirius. On the other hand, though, they did look good together and got along splendidly. Perhaps he was just jealous that Remus had found love and he hadn't? He was happy for Remus, of course he was, although a small part of him was scared for what was to come.
What would happen when they get to New York? Would Remus go off and live a life of luxury with Sirius? They both knew he was pretty wealthy. Would they leave James to fend for himself? Would they ever see each other again?
James shook his head, pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind. They were going out and Regulus might show up. They would have the chance to talk, that's all James really wanted, anyway.
“Ready to go?” he asked Remus. Remus nodded and the two of them left their room and made their way to the party. The corridors were deserted, the sound of music and laughter faint in the distance.
They walked in silence, and it was driving James insane.
“So, Remus, my guy. What's the plan when we arrive?” he asked.
“Er… I dunno really. Find jobs, somewhere to live, stuff like that really,” Remus sighed.
“Even if you and Sirius..”
“Well… I dunno. I'll see what he wants to do. Why?”
“Just asking,” James lied, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Just ‘cause I might start something with him doesn't mean I'm gonna leave you. I've known you for years, mate! No way am I gonna let Sirius ruin what we have,” Remus exclaimed, nudging James with his elbow.
“I guess,” James huffed.
“Don't be like that. You know I love you.”
“Yeah, I know. I just can't help feeling as though I'm going to be alone forever. Everyone is moving on and finding love while I'm here and just… wasting my life trailing after some married guy who clearly has no interest in me,” he sighed.
“Oh James, you're not wasting your life. You're 19! You've got your entire life ahead of you! And besides, if you can't win Regulus over, I know for sure you'll find someone else,” Remus smiled softly, nudging him again.
“I guess.”
“Stop being mardy man, Regulus might be here! Go sweep the dumb bastard off his feet, yeah?”
James sighed but couldn't help the smile that started to spread across his face. They didn't have much longer left, and he wanted to see Regulus as much as possible in the last few remaining days. Evan if nothing happened between them, just being around him and seeing him was enough for James.
So, James' mood improved and once again, he was set on his mission to win Regulus over, no matter how hard the boy would make it.
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“Come on Reg!” Sirius called for his younger brother, repeatedly knocking on his door.
“I will be out in two seconds!” Regulus shouted back, clearly annoyed.
Sirius understood why, he did drag Regulus to a lot of things he didn't want to go with, purely because he himself didn't want to go alone. That and he also needed someone to tell him when enough was enough and that it was time to leave.
He liked Regulus’ company, most of the time at least. He could be a little grouchy and annoying at times, but it was his little brother and he loved him.
Finally, the door swung open and Regulus walked out, looking very well taken care of and smelling of his finest cologne.
Sirius wrinkled his nose slightly, raising his eyebrows. “Alright Mister Fancy Pants, let's get going. Haven't got a date, have you?”
“What? No! Why?” Regulus spluttered, making Sirius chuckle.
“Nevermind. Sorry I forced you to come, I know you don't like these sorts of things.”
“It's quite alright. I'm accustomed to it by now,” Regulus grumbled, but Sirius could tell he didn't actually want to go.
“You can go back if you want to. I'll be okay, I'll be with Remus and James-”
“I don't trust them”
“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Remus and James will be there, I’ll be okay.”
“No, I’ll go with you,” Regulus huffed hurriedly.
Sirius eyed him out of the corner of his eye; something was going on. He didn’t say anything, shrugging it off instead and picking up the pace.
“So, not long to go, ey?” he said after a while of silence.
“What an astounding observation,” Regulus grumbled.
“You okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Dunno, just all this with Pandora,” Sirius sighed, glancing over at Regulus who had his eyes glued to the floor ahead of him.
“Oh.”
“Reg- I know this isn’t easy for you. It’s not easy for me either, knowing it’s all because of me. If you really don’t want to do this, tell me. I can do something about it. I’ll get married so you don’t have to-”
“It’s fine, Sirius.”
It really wasn’t. Sirius could see it written all over his brother’s face.
“Pandora is a nice girl, I’m sure I can get myself to fall for her. Somehow,” Regulus continued.
“You don’t have to-”
“Could we please stop talking about this?” Regulus snapped, turning his gaze to Sirius and glaring at him.
“Okay. Sure, Reggie, whatever you want,” Sirius surrendered, not wanting to work Regulus up any further.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, which was thankfully long before they pushed into the lively room.
Sirius instantly spotted Remus, towering slightly over everyone else. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face and the flutter in his chest as he grabbed hold of Regulus and pushed through the crowd to get to him.
“Remus!” Sirius announced when they reached the boy.
“Hiya. Drink?” Remus asked, holding his half-drunk beer out to him. Sirius took it gratefully and took a swig before offering it to Regulus. Reg shook his head and pulled a face.
“I’m good, thanks,” he mumbled, turning his head to look around the faces.
Sirius rolled his eyes, and took another sip of Remus’ drink before handing it back to him.
“So, where’s James? Haven’t lost him, have you?” Sirius chuckled.
“I’m afraid not, can’t get rid of that bugger that easily. Speak of the devil. James!” Remus called, waving him over. James laid eyes on them and the smile on his face grew bigger, if that was even possible.
“Hiya! Hi Reg,” he beamed, flinging his arm around Regulus’ shoulders.
Regulus turned slightly pink, scoffing and shrugging James away.
“Don’t touch me,” Regulus grumbled, making James roll his eyes.
“Lighten up, Reg! We’re on a boat in the middle of the ocean, on our way to America!” Sirius beamed.
“I don’t like the ocean.”
“Why? It’s just water with fish?” James puzzled, cocking his head slightly.
“I don’t know it’s just…” Regulus hesitated, averting his eyes to his feet. “I can’t swim.”
“Good thing you’re on a boat then!” James chuckled as he once again attempted to sling his arm around Regulus. To Sirius’ astoundment, he even succeeded. Perhaps it was just because Regulus was ashamed of his lacking ability, or perhaps it was just because Regulus finally accepted that James would keep trying.
“Let’s get you a drink, yeah?” James suggested before steering Regulus away from them, shooting Remus a wink over his shoulder. Remus shook his head and turned back to Sirius.
“He’s a right pain, that one,” he chuckled.
“I like him,” Sirius smiled. “Do you dance?”
Remus laughed and shook his head, “I most certainly don’t.”
“Ah, well that’s bad luck then,” Sirius grinned. He took Remus's hand and pulled him to a place with slightly more space, which happened to be the middle of the room where a lot of other people were dancing.
“Sirius I really don’t-”
“Come on Remus! It’s easy! Watch!” Sirius linked his arm through Remus and started spinning them in a circle, ignoring all of Remus’ comments on how this was not a good idea and how he was going to break a bone and bla bla bla. A load of rubbish in Sirius’ opinion.
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“So, you can’t swim?” James prompted, leaning back against the wall.
“Ugh, I shouldn’t have said anything. I know I know; swimming is important and could save lives, but I just never learned. Sirius learnt in school, but I didn’t. Mother and Father were never bothered, so I didn’t bother either,” Regulus admitted with a shrug. “And I know you are going to say it is stupid and-”
“I don’t think it’s stupid. I can teach you if you want,” James offered, smiling so softly it melted Regulus' heart.
“You’d do that?”
“‘Course! As you said, it’s important and if it could one day potentially save your life, I’d feel a lot better if I knew you were able to do so.”
“That’s.. Actually really kind of you. Thank you. There’s a pool in first class, maybe I can sneak you in someday,” Regulus said.
“What? Break the rules? My my Regulus, how could you? Why would you even suggest such a thing?” James gasped.
“That’s not-”
“I’m joking, Reg,” James snorted, reaching out to place his hand on Regulus’ shoulder. Regulus let him. He was tired of shrugging him off when all he wanted was to feel that warm weight right there on his shoulder.
“I’m not the best in the world, I taught myself when I was a kid. I lived near a lake and I was pushed in once. Nearly drowned,” James exhaled, chuckling slightly. Regulus furrowed his eyebrows. It wasn’t actually funny, was it?
“Anyway, I can’t really remember how I got out, but I did. Decided I’d try to teach myself in case it happened again. Of course, my dad helped me a bit but you know, I pretty much taught myself. I was just such a cool kid-”
“Oh, shut up,” Regulus snorted, rolling his eyes, “Bigheaded much?”
“I was! The coolest kid around,” James beamed, his smile slightly lopsided. And his eyes. His eyes shone so bright, lighting up his entire face behind those big glasses. Regulus couldn’t help but smile. He instantly regretted it, however.
“I got you to smile! Not as tough as you make yourself out to be, huh?”
Regulus groaned and turned to walk away from him, but James took his hand and pulled him back.
“Sorry, it’s just your smile is so adorable. It’s your dimples, I think. But it might just be because you have such a pretty face and your smile makes it even better. You should smile more often, really. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. I- Sorry. Shit, why did I say that? I’m sorry, Regulus.” James looked absolutely mortified, eyes wide and mouth still hanging open slightly.
Regulus, however. Well, for one thing, his face was burning. And his neck. His entire body really. His stomach was fluttering like mad, it was a strange feeling. And god, was he smiling. Smiling so much it hurt. His heart was hurting from beating so fast and hard, it felt like it was going to burst through his ribs any second. And it all came down to James.
Didn’t it always? The very first night they met, James had saved him. In more ways than one.
Before Regulus could even register what he was doing, he was leaning towards James and kissing him. It was a brief kiss, a quick brush of the lips and it was over. But it sent shockwaves down Regulus’ spine. He wanted more, but did he really? He didn’t want James, did he? He wasn’t gay, was he? How could he be, his family needed him to marry a girl. But oh, this felt so right.
Now James was blushing slightly, something Regulus didn’t know the boy was capable of. It suited him.
“Fuck,” James whispered. Regulus didn’t answer.
Did James not want him to do that? Had Regulus overstepped? What about Pandora- and his family and her family and the wedding and kids and-
He was snapped out of his thoughts when James reconnected their lips, their bodies closer now than they had ever been before. The kiss was gentle. James was gentle. His hands weren’t roaming anywhere that could potentially make Regulus uncomfortable, instead, they stayed firmly placed on Regulus’ back.
Regulus let his eyes flutter shut, completely sinking into the sensation. It was just him and James, everything else was gone. He wasn’t thinking about his family or Pandora, wasn’t thinking about how they were surrounded by so many people that wouldn’t accept what was going on. He wasn’t thinking about anything but James.
The feel of James’ hands on him, the sweet taste on his tongue, the soft plump of his lips, the smell of his cheap cologne.
And then they broke apart and James was stepping away and the deafening music was back and it was wrong. It was so wrong. This was wrong, Regulus was wrong, everything was wrong, wrong, wrong. But why did it feel so right?
“Wanna get out of here?” James whispered, nodding towards the door at the other side of the room. Regulus nodded frantically, he couldn’t take it any longer. The noise and the smell and the bodies that kept bumping into him- He needed to get out.
James gently took his hand and guided him through the crowd, keeping Regulus as close behind him as he could.