Chapter 8
James tightened his grip on Regulus as they reached the door. He flashed a smile over his shoulder at Regulus and his heart swelled at the sight of the pretty boy mindlessly trailing after him.
He pulled Regulus down the hall a bit further to get away from the many people and slipped through a door. Regulus was instantly back on him, biting his lip and pulling his hair. James hadn’t expected it from him, not Regulus. The boy always seemed so timid and gentle and, quite frankly, just a ‘good boy’ who could do no wrong. But now? Well, now Regulus was manhandling James as though he had been waiting his whole life to do so.
And James enjoyed every second of it, drinking in the taste and the feel and the smell and everything Regulus he could get. It didn’t take long for him to become impatient though, cautiously untucking Regulus’ shirt and slipping his hands under to touch his skin.
Regulus gasped and backed away slightly to look at James’ face.
“Sorry-” James said hurriedly, pulling his hands back.
“No no, don’t be. It’s okay, I just-”
Regulus trailed off, averted his gaze down from James’ face and to his chest instead, where he fumbled with James’ shirt. He let him. Regulus would say it in his own time; there was no need for James to pressure or push him.
Regulus did take his time before he looked back up at James and swallowed thickly.
“It’s just I’ve never done this before,” he mumbled self-consciously.
James snorted softly and rested his forehead on Regulus’.
“If I’m being honest, neither have I. And certainly not like this. With us both being guys, I mean,” he whispered.
“You haven’t?” Regulus was puzzled, raising his eyebrow at James.
“Nope. Never. ‘Course Remus has told me all about his hook-ups and all that, but I’ve never. Haven’t dated either-”
“You? You haven’t ever had a girlfriend? Or- Well, Boyfriend for that matter?” Regulus chuckled as he let his hands trail down James’ chest.
“No, why?”
“I mean, you’re just so- so…”
“So what?” James hummed, challenging nearly. Regulus huffed and rolled his eyes at him, avoiding eye contact once again.
“You’re just so… you.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t mean it in a bad way, I like you. I mean- I like the way you are. You’re so kind and caring, and you’re always so upbeat, and your smile is so heartwarming, and your hair is a mess, yes, but it’s a good mess; it suits you. And your hands, god damn it have you seen your hands? I just want you to wrap them around me and-” Regulus cut himself off, staring at James with his lips slightly parted.
James continued to smile at him, completely mesmerised by his beauty.
“God fuck,” Regulus breathed, “Get this off, would you?”
James laughed at the sudden needy tone Regulus had taken as he pulled his shirt over his head and let it drop to the floor.
“Jesus,” Regulus groaned, eyeing James up and down, face quickly becoming more red by the second.
“Alright love, stop the gawking,” James teased him. Regulus rolled his eyes as he, too, started to undo his top and let it fall onto the floor by his side.
He was thin, thinner than James had expected him to be.
“What’s wrong?” Regulus whispered, wrapping his arms around his waist self-consciously.
“Nothing. You’re beautiful. You’re so fucking-” James took Regulus’ hands in his and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead.
“Yeah, you’ve said,” Regulus chuckled. The sound was music the James’ ears. Regulus really was something special.
“Touch me, James. Please?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Alright, man, slow it down, or I’ll barf on you,” Remus groaned as Sirius continued to spin him round and round in circles. Sirius just grinned at him. That toothy, bright grin of his.
“Yeah… I’m not joking.”
The smile fell from Sirius’ face instantly as he jumped to the side to avoid being chucked up on.
“You’re disgusting,” Sirius commented with a slight chuckle. He placed his hand on Remus’ back and patted it gently.
“Ah well, I did tell you. If anything it’s your fault for forcing me to dance with you anyway.”
“I think it’s your fault for drinking so much beer! It really is disgusting, I don’t know how you drink it-”
“It is not! Not my fault you’re too used to your top-notch gin and whiskey.”
“Smoke?”
“Absolutely,” Remus grinned, letting Sirius take his hand and lead him to the door. They stumbled down the hallway when Sirius came to an abrupt stop in front of a door.
“Do you hear that?” he asked quietly.
Remus trained his ears, trying to pick up on whatever it was Sirius had pointed out. Then he heard it.
The faint sound of muffled cries and moans.
“Bloody hell,” Remus snorted.
“What idiots. I’m so glad Reg has more common sense than to shag in a random room,” Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“Talk about shagging…” Remus smirked, raising his eyebrows expectantly at Sirius.
“Horny bastard. Smoke first, then I’m all yours.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Regulus lay on James' chest, both of them panting and sweaty. For the first time since he could remember, Regulus felt truly safe. James’ strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close as they breathed together. He probably looked a mess, James certainly did, with his hair all messed up and stuck to his sweaty forehead, red marks appearing all over him that Regulus had so lovingly placed there, but it didn’t matter.
He felt warm, and his mind was still fuzzy, and all he could think about was James.
James planted a gentle kiss on the top of Regulus' head, breathing him in.
“Regulus?” James whispered.
“Please, call me Reg. ‘Regulus’ doesn’t sound right coming out of your mouth. Besides, after this I think it’s way too formal,” Regulus snorted.
“Right, yeah. Er… About this. Well- How do I put this?... What about Pandora? Your family? ”
Ah. Regulus knew in the back of his mind that he shouldn’t be doing what he was doing. But in the moment it hadn't really mattered much to him. It was simply an issue he would deal with as time went on. But after all, he was engaged and Pandora was lovely and didn’t deserve this. But he, Regulus, didn’t feel what he felt with James when he was with Pandora. There was no denying that anymore.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it,” Regulus sighed. How? He doesn't know. He would though. If Sirius could weasel his way out of things, so could he.
“Reg?”
“Yes, James?”
“I love you.”
Regulus pauses. Unsure of how to answer James’ sudden confession.
Regulus knew James liked him, the boy had made it quite obvious over the past few days. He just wasn't expecting to hear those words so soon. And he had spoken them so sincerely, so truthfully, with his whole heart.
No one has ever loved Regulus before. Not like this. Sirius always claimed he did, but that was different, they were brothers.
This was… New. Unknown. Strange.
Why would someone like James Potter, the embodiment of sunlight, love someone as dark and dismal as Regulus?
“I know you do. Come on, best get out of here before my parents get people to look for me,” Regulus brushes him off.
He knows it wasn't the right answer. He nearly regrets it. But it's to protect James. To protect himself. Pandora. His family. His future.
He sat up and scrambled off the sofa they had found in the corner of the room, picked up his clothes and pulled them on, waiting for James to follow suit.
He did, and they left the room.
“What do you wanna do now?” James asked.
Kiss you until there is no air left in my lungs. Regulus thought desperately.
“I guess you could come back to my room? If you wanted to, that is,” he said instead.
James pondered this idea for a few heartbeats before shaking his head.
“I've got a better idea,” he grinned. He grabbed hold of Regulus’ hand and half dragged him up to the deck.
It was dark outside, the only source of light being the moon and the stars and the odd light from inside the ship.
“It's beautiful,” Regulus breathed, taking in the stars. The water was calm. The air was slightly crisp, but not too cold. They would be there soon and everything between him and James would be in the past.
“Like you,” James whispered. Then he kissed Regulus again. And again. His lips, his nose, his jaw, his forehead.
“James,” Regulus squirms away from him, holding back his laughter.
“Tell me about the stars, Reg.”
And so he did. Regulus told James about his star, Regulus, the heart of the Lion constellation. He rambled about the brightest star in the sky, Sirius. However, that wasn't the truth.
He corrected himself and told James about the sun and how the moon cannot shine without it. Told him how everyone in his family was named after some sort of Astronomical object, be it a star like Sirius and Regulus, a constellation such as their Father, Orion, or an entire Galaxy such as their cousin Andromeda.
Regulus told James about how she had been disowned after she ran off with a farmer's son and how Uncle Alphard had been like Sirius and had been outcasted and forgotten as a result.
Regulus spoke more than he had done in a while, nattering on and on.
And James listened. He listened eagerly, asked questions at the right times, followed Regulus’ gaze and outstretched finger when he was describing a constellation.
James was a good talker, but he was an equally good listener. He was truly the definition of perfect.
Regulus felt truly happy and at peace and stood at the railing he tried to throw himself over.
Happy, until the ship shook slightly and the sound of cracking filled the air.