Chapter 4
THURSDAY 26TH JANUARY - James
[The Marauders]
(13:10) Padfoot: So how’s Jamsie Boy’s crush coming along?
(13:10) Moony: We have four minutes until the end of the lesson
(13:10) Moony: Can this not wait Sirius?
(13:10) Padfoot: Absolutely not
(13:10) Padfoot: Binns is so boring and I need something to focus on
(13:10) Wormtail: It’s low-key giving autism
(13:10) Padfoot: :P
(13:10) Padfoot: @Prongs come online
(13:11) Prongs: Yeah?
(13:11) Padfoot: Anymore clues about the mystery girl?
(13:11) Prongs: ????
(13:11) Padfoot: The girl ur texting?
(13:11) Prongs: Oh yeah
(13:11) Prongs: Nothing really else
(13:11) Prongs: Slytherin, year below us, on the quidditch team
(13:11) Wormtail: And I oop-
(13:11) Moony: Don’t tell either of them
(13:11) Moony: I want to see how it plays out
(13:11) Wormtail: Rodger that
(13:12) Prongs: What r u guys talking about?
(13:12) Moony: Nothing
————
[Operation Wolfstar]
(13:12) AgentPettigrew: You want to snog Sirius’ sister
(13:12) AgentLupin: Wormy! I wanted to see how oblivious they were!
(13:12) AgentPotter: That’s not possible
(13:12) AgentLupin: So you know who it is?
(13:12) AgentPotter: No…
(13:12) AgentPotter: But it’s not Regina
(13:13) AgentLupin: How’d you know
(13:13) AgentPotter: I just do
(13:13) AgentPotter: Shall we focus on the lesson now lads?
(13:13) AgentPettigrew: Oh yes because I’m really interested in the history of Ireland throughout the 1700s
(13:13) AgentPotter: That’s not what the lesson’s been about Worms
(13:13) AgentPettigrew: ???
(13:13) AgentLupin: For the last like 8 lessons we’ve been on women’s rights during ww1?
(13:13) AgentPettigrew: That’s not what my textbook says
*AgentPettigrew sent a photo*
(13:13) AgentPettigrew: See
(13:13) AgentPotter: That’s our textbook from last year Worms
(13:13) AgentPettigrew: You’ve got to be shagging me
(13:14) AgentLupin: I hope not?
(13:14) AgentPotter: You literally run a Wattpad acc how do not know what shagging means?
(13:14) AgentPettigrew: I do?
(13:14) AgentPettigrew: It means like beat up
(13:14) AgentLupin: No my dear Peter it does not
(13:14) AgentPettigrew: But that’s what Sirius said this morning?
(13:14) AgentPotter: Never trust Sirius
(13:15) AgentPettigrew: EW EW EW I JUST LOOKED IT UP
(13:15) AgentPettigrew: BUT DIDNT YOU GUYS TELL MEE?? IVE BEEN SAYING THAT TO SOOOO MANY PPL TODAY?
(13:15) AgentPettigrew: IS THIS WHY THEY KEPT GIVING ME WEIRD LOOKS?
(13:15) AgentPotter: Probably mate
(13:15) AgentLupin: Yo why hasn’t the bell gone?
(13:15) AgentLupin: Nvm as soon as I text it it goes?
————
[MysteryMan]
(14:34) Stranger: We are so gonna crush you tomorrow
(14:36) MysteryMan: Is that so?
(14:36) Stranger: Absolutely
(14:36) Stranger: Slytherin don’t stand a chance
(14:37) MysteryMan: Oh, yeah? What’s your tactic?
(14:37) Stranger: Nice try I am NOT revealing that
(14:37) MysteryMan: Eh, worth a shot?
(14:37) MysteryMan: We’re still going to win, though.
(14:38) MysteryMan: Don’t be a twat if you lose :)
(14:38) Stranger: Won’t be a problem baby girl
(14:38) MysteryMan: Excuse you?
(14:38) Stranger: No?
(14:38) Stranger: You’d prefer babyboi?
(14:39) MysteryMan: Sending for help because James Potter is texting me pet-names.
(14:39) Stranger: I’m hurt
(14:39) Stranger: Most people would love to have me call them baby girl
(14:39) MysteryMan: I’m not most people
(14:40) Stranger: That you are not
(14:40) MysteryMan: Bye, Stranger.
(14:40) Stranger: Talk to you later Mystery Man
————
[The Marauders]
(15:45) Moony: Can someone tell me why James is hunched over on the floor rocking back and forth, chanting ‘What’s wrong with me?’
(15:45) Padfoot: I actually don’t know
(15:45) Padfoot: WAIT IS THAT WHERE HE IS? HES MISSING PRACTICE!
(15:45) Wormtail: Must be bad if he’s missing practice
(15:46) Moony: Shit I just saw what he’s searched up
(15:46) Moony: Ttyltr
(15:46) Padfoot: Wait I’m coming back to the dorm
(15:46) Wormtail: Same
(15:46) Moony: No stay there
————
James clutches his phone so tight he could swear that his hand goes numb, just staring at the screen.
AM I GAY? QUIZ
RESULTS: 86%
What does that even mean?
He’s been so focused on the phone that he doesn’t seem to notice Remus sit down next to him, “James. Are you okay?”
James doesn’t reply, his breathing rapid. “James, James. Answer me, please. Slow your breathing.” Remus takes the phone from his hands, turning it off and putting it in his pocket.
“James, breath with me, slowly, okay?”
His breathing slows slightly, timing his breath with Remus’. James knows that there’s nothing wrong with liking boys, James could never think that. But he still feels wrong.
James has planned his whole life, he’s had it in a notebook since first year. It’s virtually identical to his father’s life.
This was not part of the plan.
“James-“
“Remus, how-how did you realise that…” James can’t even finished the sentence, sliding his hands down from his knee-caps, onto to floor. “Remus, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“What for, James. You didn’t do anything?”
“I’m still sorry.”
Remus stands up and goes into his bag, pulling out a Cadbury’s Oreo chocolate bar, “eat this. Now.” Remus cracks the chocolate into two rectangles, handing one to James. James nibbles on his piece, thank you Moony. You’re a good friend.”
Remus opens his mouth to reply, but the door bursts open with Sirius and Pete standing in the doorway. “James! What happened!?”
He wipes his eyes, only now noticing that he’d had tears streaming down his face earlier. “I’m just, um, worried about my exam results. Sorry.” Sirius practically sprints down next to him, “it’s only January, Prongs. And you’re like freakishly good at all of your subjects. You’ve nothing to panic about.”
His and Remus lock their eyes for a few seconds, before Remus nods and smiles. James is grateful that Remus won’t reveal the real reason he was having a panic attack. “You’re right Pads. English Lit is just stressing me out at the moment.”
That night James goes into Sirius’ bed, which is the other way round to usual. Sirius tries to get James to talk more about earlier, which he shuts down. He’s not worried about Sirius’ reaction to it, but James isn’t ready to tell anyone yet.