Babe

Embarrassment and shame flow through me like an unholy waterfall. I can’t even look at the letters anymore. They’ve been abandoned on the ground, with all my hopes and dreams. I don’t know what I was expecting. But it wasn’t these three pieces of mail I had just received.

The first had been somewhat expected, though still, a gut-wrenching pain had filled my stomach upon seeing the official divorce papers. One shot of firewhiskey down. The next was the paper. The Daily Prophet.

BREAKING NEWS!

“It seems that after a failed marriage, an infidelity scandal, and a rather tumultuous path to get here, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger have found happiness at last! Speaking in a statement to the Daily Prophet, Draco Malfoy, Auror at the DMLE, did confirm this week that he and Hermione Granger, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, are to be married! Mr. Malfoy spilt the details of the engagement, saying they had wanted to keep it private for the sake of Mr. Malfoy’s now ex-wife, Astoria Malfoy.

But Mr. Malfoy has now revealed that he and Ms. Granger are to be married within the month! We send our best wishes to them!

And what of the jilted Mrs. Malfoy- soon to be simply Ms. Greengrass again? Rumours have been swirling that Ms. Greengrass is not coping well with the split. An insider source says “She is mentally unstable and relying heavily on alcohol.” This source also goes on to say that it is unlikely for Ms. Greengrass to be available for comment as she is “hiding away” as of now. According to our source, “she will never catch a husband again after this scandal.” We send our best to Mrs. Malfoy.”

So that was two shots of firewhiskey down. My blood had been boiling at this point, and then I had made the mistake of opening the letter addressed to me, thinking it had been something else about the divorce papers.

"We formally invite you to the wedding of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger! Please RSVP by the 10th of May!"

I had thrown everything down and sat on the floor, gasping. How could they do this? How could HE do this?! My heart ached and ached and now here I am, feeling like the whole fucking world is laughing at me. Everyone knew they were having an affair, everyone except for me. And now they are… getting married. Not even two weeks since he left me. It makes me sick to my stomach. For the second time this fortnight, I curse Hermione Granger to death and hell and all of the most horrible things I can think of. She stole my husband, and she has the audacity to invite me to the wedding?? Well fuck that, I’m not going. Of course I’m not going. Fuck them, they can rot for all I care.

After this, any feelings I had for Malfoy are long since dead. I will never see him the same way again. Our friendship is as dead as burning parchment. My heart screams in my chest, the pain of letting go of my best friend since childhood ripping through me. I can’t stop the tears as they begin to fall.

Those kids were my family. They were my home. And now I have nothing. Daphne will always be my sister, but we aren’t as close and she has her own life. And Pansy… I’ll never see her again. I have Theo. But Theo and Draco are a package deal. They have been inseparable since infancy. I will never be chosen over Malfoy. Not by our high society friends, the media, or Theo.

I could run. I could go anywhere I want, just not home. I will never get that sense of safety back again. I am completely alone, and there is no point in a life like that.

I sniffle and wipe my tears. I should be angry. I should be seething, I know. But I’m not. I’m just… broken. I feel as though my soul has been shattered; like someone reached in and scooped all the happiness out of my life. In the last two days since the article ran, I’ve gotten so much hate mail, that I’ve had to stop receiving letters. People have told me everything, from descriptive howlers about how I should kill myself, to nasty drawings about me whoring myself out for a husband. Not one letter of sympathy because of course not. The whole world was against me, angry for hiding away, angry for staying silent. The only letter I received that wasn’t hateful, was an official statement saying my marriage to Draco Malfoy had been terminated.

Of course, I had cried about it. How could I not? I loved him. And he never loved me. What was so wrong with me that I wasn’t enough for him? What is wrong with me that even after everything he’s done, if he just came back and told me he loved me, I’d fall into his arms immediately? A sob bubbles up into my throat and escapes in a strangled roar. I can feel the same piercing pain as I felt after he visited, the feeling like someone took a very sharp knife and sliced my heart in two. I can feel the love pouring out of the wound like metaphorical blood, spilling everywhere and staining everything. I press my shaky hand to my mouth, attempting to regain some semblance of control over myself.

It starts in my hands. They’re shaky and I feel the surge of energy in my fingertips. It travels up my arms, rushing up my neck, until I can’t hold it back any longer. And I scream. I scream so loud that my throat is raw instantly. The noise is piercing, shrill, and heartbreaking. My fingers claw at my heart, my sharp nails piercing the skin. I want to dig out my heart, I want it out. Anything to make this pain stop. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

My breath begins to come in shallow pants as I stop wailing momentarily. And then my breath leaves me. I panic, my brain jumping into action. I can’t breathe. My fingers leave my heart and begin to claw at my throat. I can’t get any air in. My eyes begin to bulge and I am really panicking now. I spin anxiously, looking for something to help. All I see is the fireplace, the mantle still full of pictures of me, beaming with Malfoy. He probably fucked her after we took those.

I stumble towards the fireplace, gasping for breath. My vision is swimming but I reach up, knocking off several photographs in the process. I grab a handful of floo powder and throw it down. It takes every ounce of strength in me to croak out, “Nott Estate!” before I am sucked away, my eyes closing and my body going limp.

My eyes open slowly. I’m not exactly sure where I am at first. I blink and try to sit up.

“Whoa whoa, what are you doing? You need to rest!”

My head spins but I grin. Theo’s voice is unmistakable, as is the worry in his voice. For one delusional second, I think we might be in my bedroom, Theo has come for me and rescued me. But then I slump back onto pillows that are clearly not mine. And I look up at a canopy that definitely doesn’t belong to me. This is not my bedroom. That much is clear. I look around and realise I’m in Theo’s bedroom. And that Theo is standing over me, frowning.

“What happened?” I ask shakily.

“Um you collapsed on my fireplace, I barely had time to catch you. What is going on Astoria??” His jaw clenches.

“Did you see the Prophet?” I say in a small voice.

“Yes,” he grits his teeth. “I can’t believe he would do that to you Ri-Ri. It’s so fucking unfair and cruel.”

“Yeah, and the invite was pretty unnecessary too.”

“What invite?!?” he cries. “Don’t tell me that fucking prick invited you to- oh Merlin Ri-Ri tell me he didn’t…”

I just shrug.

“I’m not gonna go, of course.”

“I’ll kill him.” Theo’s voice is hard and determined. I appreciate the sentiment but I know he’s only being polite. He wouldn’t actually hurt Malfoy, not over me.

“Teddy, I should probably get back, I have-”

But Theo cuts me off, staring at me.

“Astoria. Stop the bullshit. You need help.”

“I am FINE. What makes you think-”

“For fuck’s sake Ri-Ri there are scars on your fucking chest!! You came through the floo passing out and crying! You are not alright and I fucking care about you and I will not allow you to leave without knowing you are not a danger to yourself!”

“Oh fuck off Theo, I am FINE!!” I roar, sitting up.

“YOU ARE NOT FINE, LET ME HELP!” Theo roars right back.

I blink, stunned. He softens and steps forward. His hand comes up and tucks my hair behind my ear.

“Ri-Ri… please. Let me take care of you,” he whispers softly.

Theo bends down, our eyes meeting. He holds my gaze and I stare into his sky-blue eyes. I could get lost in them, framed by thick lashes and looking at me with such reverence, you would have thought I was Morgana. Theo’s lips part slightly and his gaze flickers down my face.

Suddenly he stands quickly, schooling his features into a frown.

“You’re not going home. I’ll get an elf to get your stuff, but I’m not leaving you all alone in that great big house you share with him.” He sneers the last word, a definite look of disgust on his face. “You’ll stay with me. For as long as you want.”

I stare at Theo. I’m shocked honestly, I didn’t think he would be this supportive.

“What about the mail?” I ask, dazedly.

“Yeah we’ll get your mail Ri-Ri,” he answers calmly.

“No, I mean the hate mail, the howlers and etcetera. What do we do with those, I don’t want you to have to deal with them,” I explain, still feeling dazed.

“What.” Theo’s voice is low and dangerous. “What mail?”

I swallow before answering, “The hate mail… from the article. I’ve gotten so many death threats, I’ve lost count.”

“Oh gods, Astoria…” Theo’s voice breaks and he runs over to me, grabbing me hard and pulling me into a comforting Theo hug. He wraps his arms around me and pulls my body tight against his. I relax into his shoulders and he cradles my head softly. “I will fix this Ri-Ri. I promise. And we will make him pay.”

“How?” I sniffle, looking up at Theo through my tears. Once again our faces are incredibly close and he smiles down at me, his blue eyes warming the chill in my heart. “He has everything, he’s happy. And I don’t even know if I want to-”

“No,” Theo says with finality, standing up. “You ARE going to make him regret this, and I will help you. I swear this to you.”

He takes my hand in his and presses his lips to my knuckles. My skin tingles at his touch and I feel myself blushing. Theo has always been my friend, so why does this feel different now? Maybe I’m just touch-deprived. I sigh.

“How Teddy? How am I going to make him regret shattering my whole world when I can barely get through a day on my own?”

“Well my darling, you are not on your own anymore. I’ve got you tesoro,” he replies, smiling at me. He crouches down to my level and takes my face in his hands. “Did you throw away that invitation?”

I shake my head no.

“Good girl.” Theo kisses my forehead and offers me his hand. “Come on, we got to get some food in you. Plotting revenge takes a lot of energy, don’t you know?” He winks and I feel a flutter in my chest that in all my years, I never felt with Malfoy.