Chapter 3
THREE
"I think I'm gay," says James, and a fifteen-year-old Eddie feels his heart race. James looks at him expectantly, and Eddie feels his stomach twist into knots.
"That's gross, bro," Eddie replies, and the look on James's face makes Eddie's eyes sting.
James runs off in tears, and Eddie feels guilt twisting in his chest. They don't talk after that. Eddie makes sure of it.
James's calls go ignored, and Eddie makes sure to avoid him at school. Soon, James takes the hint, but Eddie still sees him. One day, James shows up with painted nails, and Eddie watches as guys from the baseball team snicker.
"Fag," whispers one of the players, knocking James's books out of his arms. Eddie sees him as he scrambles to pick up his stuff from the floor, and for a second, James looks up and their eyes meet.
Eddie turns away.
***
He was happy when he and Shannon started dating. She was his friend before she was his girlfriend, until one party changed everything. He'd drunk a couple of Coronas and was starting to feel a nice buzz, his body floating as Shannon laughed. The room was loud as music blared through the speakers, but he didn't care. It was as if the world disappeared.
She looked up at him and smiled. Then she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. For a second, he freezes before he kisses her back.
***
I miss you. Call me whenever you're ready. I love you.
Eddie looks down at his phone screen. Another unanswered text from Chris, and he feels his head begin to throb.
"You should go to him." He flinches, standing up from his couch.
Greggs stands before him, clad in his uniform, and Eddie feels his knees shake.
"What are you?" His head is throbbing, and he watches Greggs smirk.
"So this is what you came back to," Greggs looks around the empty apartment, unimpressed. "I thought you had a wife and a kid waiting for you."
"She died," he says as Greggs walks up to the mantle, looking at a picture of Chris and Buck smiling at the zoo.
"And who is this?" asks Greggs, nodding towards the picture of Buck.
"He's my friend," Eddie watches as Greggs inspects the photos, humming to himself.
"Cute kid," says Greggs. "He looks more like this Buck guy than you." Eddie doesn't bother responding. He knows it's true. Many times, Buck had been asked if Chris was his son.
"He should have been Chris's father," he thinks darkly. Buck never would have driven Christopher away the way Eddie had.
"I had kids too. A wife that was waiting for me. All they got was a body." His voice is filled with recrimination, and Eddie feels a chill down his spine.
"Greggs, you have to know—"
"What?" snaps the ghost angrily. "That I died while you came home. That my family lost a father and you couldn't even keep your kid around."
"I didn't want this," Eddie's eyes sting with tears, and he can barely choke out the words. "I—I'm sorry, I—"
There is a knock on the door, and Eddie turns to the ghost.
He's gone.