Monet Issues
Remus Lupin
Saturday | October 10th, 1975
Remus was smoking in the astronomy tower. Typically, he’d be doing so with Peter– or even the occasional Barty Crouch Jr. or Evan Rosier– but he was alone. He wasn’t sad or anything like that. He wasn’t isolating himself for some deep, dark, sad reason. In truth, he just needed to be alone.
It was funny– how often his friends would forget that Remus was an ‘introvert’. He was the only marauder that was. James and Sirius thrived off of being around people and would probably go mad without talking to anyone; Peter was surprisingly an ‘extrovert’ as well. He might not have been the loudest of the group but he preferred the company of other people versus being alone. He’d feel left out or drained after being separated from others for a while.
So, Remus was alone. It was dark; the moon just a crescent, barely illuminating much, just highlighting the thin tendrils of smoke curling up from Remus’ lips and maybe perhaps Remus’ silhouette if someone were to see him from behind.
So, Remus was in the dark and alone. Until he wasn’t.
“Oh.”
Remus turned from where he was sitting at the balcony to see Regulus in the doorway.
“Lupin.” Regulus said, formal.
“Hey, Reg.” Remus said as he turned back to the stars.
“What was that?” Regulus asked. He had come closer, a few steps away from Remus, standing awkwardly.
“I said ‘Hey, Reg’.” Remus repeated, looking at him. Remus turned back to the stars to blow out a pillar of smoke. “Want to sit?”
“Pardon?”
Then, Remus remembered. He faced Regulus and signed with his hands ‘sit. Please.’
Regulus’ eyes widened in surprise. He sat down, almost dumbly like he wasn’t fully aware he was doing it.
“You know sign language?” Regulus asked, eyes still a little wide. Remus smiled to himself. He never saw Regulus express much so it was nice to see him easily emoting around Remus.
“I’m not fluent.” Remus shrugged. He made sure that his face and mouth were easily visible to Regulus, hoping that their close distance and more obvious lighting from the moon made it to where he didn’t have to sign. “I mean, I haven’t practised in almost a year so I’m also probably rusty.”
Regulus thought for a moment. “Why French? Aren’t you from Wales? Why do you know French sign?”
“Because Sirius is the one that taught me.”
Regulus eyes’ shimmered. “He taught you.” He repeated. He looked away for a moment before turning to Remus almost sharply. “Why?”
“I think it was his way of staying close to you.” Remus admitted. He kind of hated revealing Sirius like this but he felt like Regulus should know. “He probably doesn’t know that I know that’s the real reason. He had always said it was so we could cheat on tests and communicate silently, but I knew. It only proved me right when the lessons stopped after you two reconciled.”
“He- he taught you because of me?” Regulus seemed like he still didn’t believe it.
“He missed you, even when he said he didn’t.” Remus said, simply. Regulus smiled, turning away from Remus as if to hide it. “Although… don’t tell him that I know that’s the reason. He doesn’t exactly love people being able to see through him, people seeing him in a way he hasn’t approved.”
“I don’t know,” Regulus mused softly. Remus looked over to see him bite his lip to stop his smile from forming before looking at Remus earnestly. “I think he likes being seen by you.”
“What does that mean?” Remus asked, curiously.
Regulus gave him a flat, studying look before turning back to the sky, apparently having seen something that answered a question in his mind. What question? What did he see? Remus had no clue.
“So, Lupin.”
“So, Reg.”
Regulus cringed slightly at the nickname which made Remus smile. Sure, he wasn’t ‘ besties ’ with the younger Black brother, but he was on decent terms with him. They’ve hung out. Hell, they’ve even kissed at Barty’s birthday party. Remus thought that they were long past surname formalities.
“What are you doing up here alone?” Regulus asked, conversational. “Was Sirius accidentally homophobic again?”
Remus chuckled. “No, not this time. I just wanted to be by myself a bit.”
“I get that.”
Remus smiled, he thought he would .
Remus held out the cigarette. Regulus stared at it for a few moments before looking up at Remus.
“I’m offering.” Remus explained. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Regulus looked so much like a kid just then as he looked up to Remus. “Really?”
“I wouldn’t offer otherwise.”
Regulus took the cigarette and then looked back up at the older boy. Remus smiled. “Here, you wrap your lips around it, breathe in, let it sit in your mouth a bit, remove it, let it go down your throat, hold it– although it’ll be your first time so not long– and then open your mouth and breathe it out. Okay?”
Regulus nodded, he followed Remus’ instructions and then immediately coughed it all out. His eyes watered as he passed it back to Remus.
“Oh, S alazar ! That’s awful. What is Merlin's name?” He croaked. Face scrunched. “Why would you do that?”
Remus smirked, “It gets easier.”
“It must.” Regulus frowned. He watched as Remus took another drawl, blowing it out in rings. Regulus tilted his head to the side. He nodded, then more to himself than Remus, said, “I get it.”
“Get what?”
“Nothing.” Regulus looked up at the sky.
“Why’re you here?” Remus asked after a moment. Remus used his head to gesture to the sky. “Stargazing? You like stargazing?”
“Yeah,” Regulus said, almost a whisper. “It reminds me of my family.”
Remus looked back at the stars. He sucked at Astronomy, truly. He was never really good at it. It was too much memorization and Remus couldn’t look at the night sky without first seeing the moon, even if it was new. So he almost failed the class but he knew one star.
Just ahead, Sirius shone brightly. Brightest star in the sky , Sirius would brag.
“Where’s your star?” Remus asked. Regulus looked back at him. “Aren’t you a star as well? Where are you?”
“I’m not visible right now.” Regulus said to the stars. “I’m better seen just after sunset in late winter and early spring.”
Remus nodded.
They sat in silence with each other until Remus’ second fag burnt out. It was comfortable. Remus wasn’t really used to it. All of his other friends could never just sit with him like this. James and Sirius had too much energy. Peter fidgets and would get bored eventually. Lily’s constantly busy and would have to work on something. Mary would want to talk. Marlene would leave out of boredom. Micah would suggest more active things to do. Charlie would probably fall asleep or fall off the balcony. It was nice, Remus realised.
Sure, he loved his friends. His favourite thing about them was how different they were to him, but it was nice to be around someone weirdly similar to himself.
“I ought to get back.” Remus sighed contently. Standing up and popping his back, causing Regulus to cringe. “James knows where I am but being the mother hen he is, he’s probably worried why I haven’t come back yet.”
“What’s a mother hen?”
Remus stared down at the Slytherin, incredulous. “Fucking wizards.”
“Oh, is it a muggle term then?” Regulus stood as well.
“Yes, it’s the ‘mum friend’. The one that worries about everyone’s safety and health. The one that makes sure everyone is okay.” Remus explained.
“Potter is a mum friend?” Regulus asked, clearly disbelieving.
“Oh, definitely .” Remus laughed. Regulus continued to look distrustful. “He gets it from Effie probably. They’re far too similar.”
“Whatever you say, Lupin.”
“See you around, Reg.”
~ ~ ~
“Why were you talking to my brother?”
“Well, good evening to you too, Sirius.”
As soon as Remus stepped through the door of his room– at the reasonable hour of 10:46 (he was expecting later, honestly– Sirius had stood and turned on him.
“You were talking to Regulus?” James’ head poked through the curtains of his bed.
Great , Remus thought. We’re all awake .
“Yeah,” Remus shrugged, shuffling through his trunk. “He came up to the tower while I was smoking and we talked for a bit.”
“Really?” James climbed out and sat on his own trunk.
“What did you two talk about?” Sirius demanded, crossing his arms.
“Nothing that regards you.” Remus straightened to his full height, facing Sirius. Remus almost never used his height to his advantage– at least… not with his friends, that is. But now he did. Sirius wasn’t even that short but Remus had at least five inches on him. “I don’t have to tell you anything, you know.”
Sirius' cheeks turned red. “I know that!”’
“Do you?” Remus frowned. Sirius huffed a breath and visibly calmed himself. Remus sighed. He knew why Sirius was upset. Like he had said to Regulus, he could read Sirius– at least, most of the time. He knew why Sirius did certain things, usually. He didn't hardly ever know what Sirius was feeling and definitely not ever thinking but he saw through his actions and understood them.
He knew that Sirius was upset because– in the least toxic, subconscious way possible– Sirius had claimed the three marauder boys (and girls). They were his . Remus assumed it was because he didn’t have much that was really ‘his’ before school. He definitely didn’t have much that wasn’t previously possessed by a previous Black. His friends were his , not his family’s, and his first.
He didn’t like the possibility that either Remus or Regulus would steal the other away from him. He didn’t want Remus to like Regulus more than Sirius and he didn’t want Regulus to like Remus more than him.
“We talked about sign language,” Remus explained, trying to ignore the absolute relief that flooded Sirius’ features. That was one of the things he could never read from the Sirius Black: why Remus’ opinion was held in such high regard to him. “He wanted to know why I knew it and why I knew french sign and not british . I had to explain what a ‘mother hen’ was because you fucking wizards don’t know your shit, but other than that? We mostly just sat in silence.”
“That makes sense.” James nodded. “Neither of you are the most talkative in the room.
“No, we’ll have to give that title to you, dear Prongs.” Remus smirked.
Sirius studied him for a moment before nodding and running a hand down his face. “I’m sorry, Moons. I didn’t mean to be so aggressive about it.”
“It’s okay, Stars.”
Sirius smiled at the special nickname. “It was just… you said that you were going to have some alone time and then I checked the map and you’re with Regulus…”
“I get it, Sirius.” Remus smiled softly at him, trying to reassure him. “You’re okay.”
Remus held out his arms and Sirius didn’t need to be told twice. His eyes brightened and he all but ran to be encompassed in the quick hug that Remus provided.
“Now,” Remus said when he stepped back. “I’m going to brush my teeth. Good night, Pads. Prongs.”
~ ~ ~
Sirius Black
Sunday | October 11th
“Mister Sirius.”
“Hi, Minnie.”
Her frown tightened, but Sirius had known her for long enough to know that that was a sign of her stifling a smile.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you’re not in your dorms this afternoon.” She said, peering down at him behind her rectangular frames.
“Well, it’s only three o’clock and it’s the weekend, y’know.” He shrugged. “I’m technically allowed to be anywhere in the castle or on the grounds as long as it’s not strictly prohibited, so unless this hallway became restricted without my knowledge or public announcement, I’m technically not breaking any rules.”
“I never said that you were, Sirius.” McGonagall sighed. “It’s just highly unusual that you’d be out near the Slytherin dorms… without your friends. It’s suspicious. You have to understand why I’m cautious.”
Sirius grinned. “I’m actually alone at the moment because my friends are doing other things.”
The professor raised her brow. “Oh?”
“Nothing bad, I swear.” Sirius raised his hand in mock-pledge. “James is at a chaser and keeper practice. Peter’s with his new girlfriend– that happened yesterday, by the way. And Remus is with Micah Evont.”
Sirius couldn’t help but scowl as he said their name. Minerva noticed this (because of course she did) and the corner of her mouth twitched.
“Well, it’s clear that we have much to catch up on, don’t we, Mister Sirius?” Minerva didn’t smile but her eyes did.
Sirius grinned; it had been awhile since he and Minnie had one of their chats. They used to have them much more, especially back in previous years. At this point, she was an unpaid therapist for Sirius.
They entered her office.
“So,” Professor McGonagall started, pouring them tea without touching the kettle. “Do you want to tell me what you were doing in the dungeons? You are clearly bored, and must I remind you of your history of being bored and alone around the Slytherin dorms?”
“No, Professor.” Sirius smiled, sitting down across from her in the plush, red chairs. “I was trying to see Regulus but he’s out with his friends.”
Normally, Sirius would just check the map, but it was Pete’s turn with it. Sirius was lucky that the only Slytherin he ran into was Dorcas, who was on her way to meet them. She told him where Reg was. The two brothers were still trying to hide their amended relationship, less their mother found out.
“I’m happy that you two have reconnected.” McGonagall’s eyes smiled. “I have to confess, when Poppy told me, I almost dropped my tea.”
“Poppy?” Sirius parroted, taking a sip. “As in the medi-witch?”
McGonagall nodded.
“Didn’t realise that you two were so close. To be gossiping about students, I mean.”
Minerva’s eyes twinkled, “Oh, yes. Very close. We were in the same friend group in our Hogwarts years.”
“Friend group?” Sirius smiled, unable to mask his curiosity and excitement. McGonagall didn’t often talk about her past.
“Yes,” And then, Minerva smiled . A real one. It was soft and small but actually there. Sirius couldn’t believe it.
“Are you two the only ones still in touch?” Sirius asked, curious. “Out of your friend group.”
“No,” Minnie said. “I’m actually still close with all of them.”
“Really? Anyone I know?”
“Professor Sprout and Madame Hooch.”
Once she said their names, Sirius pictured all of the times Sirius had seen Minerva with the other three ladies. They always sat beside each other at meals but Sirius had assumed that was some sort of assigned seating. He’d see them walking the halls together and they’d talk in between classes quite a lot. And Hooch and McGonagall always talked before and after matches.
“That checks out.” Sirius nodded. “How were you all friends? You couldn’t have been in the same house, Professor Sprout was a Hufflepuff.”
“As was Madame Pomfrey.” McGonagall said. “And Madame Hooch was a Ravenclaw.”
“You were so close to having one from every house.” Sirius joked.
“We did, actually.” McGonagall said. “Ro used to joke about that all the time.”
“Wait, who was the Slytherin then?” Sirius leaned forward slightly. “Anyone I know?”
“Yes, actually.” McGonagall sat her teacup down, crossed her arms lightly on the desk, and leaned over, peering at him. Her usually cat-like eyes softened like she was recalling a fond memory. “My best friend.”
“The Slytherin?” Sirius raised his eyebrows, grinning like a cat who’s gotten the cream. “A Gryffindor and a Slytherin? Best friends? The scandal!”
“Ro used to joke about that as well.” Minerva smiled. “Gryffindor and Slytherin, girl and boy (a very big deal in the fifties), poor and rich… halfblood and pureblood.” McGonagall looked at Sirius, her dark eyes sharp and subtly sad. “It was a very big deal then, even more so than now. It was right after the Grindelwald War. Muggle and wizard relations were rarely spoken of. Of course it was even worse back before I had known about my magic ancestry.”
“What do you mean?”
“My father was a muggle. His first wife, my mother, was a witch but he hadn’t known that at the time. In fact, he didn’t even find out until I was sixteen– over a decade after she died. So, I spent the majority of my former years at Hogwarts thinking I was a muggleborn.” McGonagall sniffed stiffly. “Blood status doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change magical ability but it does, unfortunately, affect social standing, and what was a loud Gryffindor muggleborn to the heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black?”
Sirius’ blood stilled and if it wasn’t for the years of etiquette training instilled in him, he would’ve dropped his cuppa. Instead, he just froze, staring up at his favourite professor with his mouth open.
Sirius couldn’t believe it. McGonagall was friends– no, best friends – with someone from his family? The heir? Sirius was the heir (Regulus now) because his Uncle Aphard didn’t have any children… oh . McGonagall was best friends with Sirius’ Uncle Alphard.
Sirius hadn’t seen his Uncle Alphard in a long time– since he was seven. He used to go to his Uncles’ manor in France all the time during the summer, and Alphard would visit him at Grimmauld Place.
He liked his uncle as much as he could like a family member other than Reggie or Andromeda. Alphard was kind enough but, unlike Andy or Sirius, he shared the Black family beliefs.
But did he?
There was no way Minerva “queen on Earth” McGonagll would befriend a blood supremacist, nor would a proper Black– one who shared similar ideals to Walburga– befriend a half-blood or muggleborn. So, was he putting up a front? Lying to the rest of the family about what he believed in and thought like Regulus? But why? For safety?
Alphard Black was no longer the ‘heir’ of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black because Pollux had died, leaving Alphard as the Head of the family, much to the annoyance of Orion and Walburga. He was one of the most powerful wizards in England– probably the world– not because of his magic prowess but because of his position. He was literally one of the richest men in the world and very high up within the Ministry. He could probably make a law with a single word.
He was powerful. No one would stop him if he were to speak his true feelings, so could his silence be for safety? He was untouchable though. Unless… unless he was trying to protect someone else?
Sirius wasn’t close enough with his uncle to know if he was seeing anyone romantically, so who was Alphard trying to protect? McGonagall? It could be. If they were known to be best friends at Hogwarts, she could be seen as his weakness. Was he trying to protect her?
Sirius couldn’t stop the warm feeling growing in his chest. What d’you know? Another Black family Black sheep.
“You were best friends with my Uncle?”
“Still am.” McGonagall said. “We can’t talk as much as we used to– not living in the same castle anymore, but we try. We exchange letters and meet up every other weekend– sometimes with our whole group. We’re still close, but we were practically inseparable at Hogwarts.” McGonagall eyes Sirius, eyes bright. “Kind of like you and James.”
Sirius beamed, “I doubt you two got in as much trouble as we do.”
McGonagall’s eyes sparked with something Sirius had never seen in them before, “Definitely not. Our school records are clean.”
Sirius thought for a moment, sipping his tea. He finally looked up at his professor.
“Professor,” Sirius straightened in his seat. “Is he- what’s he like? My uncle.”
“He told me that you haven’t seen him in awhile.” Her eyes saddened slightly. “He regrets that very much. He misses you.”
“Then, why hasn’t he done anything about it?” Sirius crossed his arms.
McGonagall didn’t speak for a moment, thinking. “I’m meeting up with him next weekend. How about you join us? He can explain for himself.”
Sirius let his arms drop. “Fine.”
“Now, let’s move on from my Hogwarts years.” McGonagall opened her biscuit tin. “Would you like to tell me about what has been happening with you.”
“What do you mean?” He accepted a ginger nut.
“I mentioned it earlier, but you’re not usually without your friends.” McGonagall opted for a bourbon one instead. “You told me where they all were but still.”
“They’re all busy.” Sirius huffed. “I didn’t want to interrupt them.”
“I understand why you didn’t interrupt quidditch practice or Mister Pettigrew’s date, but why can you not join Mister Lupin and Evont?”
Sirius kissed his teeth. As much as he loved Minnie, thought so highly of her, and couldn’t imagine her being homophobic ever, he couldn’t know for sure.
Sirius tried to think of a way out of the question, a completely platonic way of explaining why he couldn’t join them that wasn’t ‘sorry, professor. I can’t joinMister Lupin and Evont because they kicked me out of the dorm so they could have alone time.’
“Ah,” McGonagall nodded. “The same reason you cannot tag along with Mister Pettigrew, I see.”
Sirius’ eyes went wide.
“Well then.” McGonagall frowned and Sirius was so prepared for her to say something… “Dammit. I owe Pom three galleons now.”
If somehow possible, Sirius’ eyes went even wider.
- Professor Minerva McGonagall just cursed.
- She wasn’t homophobic (thank Merlin but damn)
- She and Professor Sprout (who Sirius was assuming was “Pom”) bet on children!?!?!
“How disappointing.” McGonagall tsked. Her eyes smiled at Sirius. “Poppy is going to be vexed at me. She told me not to bet against Pomona.”
Sirius blinked– he was finding it difficult to follow the conversation. He wasn’t used to professors using first names (or nicknames), and he was especially not used to Minerva being so casual or expressive. “Why would Poppy care?”
Minerva’s eyes spoke for her.
“ OH! ”
Minerva smiled and stood. “Now, I think quidditch practice might be done by now. It was lovely talking to you, Sirius.”
Sirius stood up, dumbly– he was still in shock at McGonagall’s behaviour this entire meeting. By the time he had made it to the door, McGonagall had somehow returned to her previous and normal mode.
“I’ll see you in class tomorrow, Mister Sirius.”
What. The. Fuck .
~ ~ ~
When Sirius had entered the dorm, Micah wasn’t there, and Sirius couldn’t stop the sigh of relief.
“Oh, hey.” Remus walked out of the bathroom. “Where have you been?”
“Minnie’s.”
Remus nodded, understanding– it wasn’t exactly unknown among the marauders and co that Sirius needed his time with Minnie.
“Moony,” Sirius started. Remus looked up from where he was digging in his trunk, sweater in hand. “You won’t believe what Minnie just told me.”
“To stop calling her ‘Minnie’ because she’s our professor and is deserving of the respect that comes with calling her professional title?”
Sirius gave Remus a flat look before smiling softly, “No, uhm, she actually told me that she knew my Uncle.”
Remus’ humorous demeanour melted away. “Andromeda’s dad?”
“No.” Sirius swallowed, trying to maintain the image of calm and composed and unaffected. “Alphard.”
Remus looked away, eyes distant, as he tried to place the name. Sirius hardly ever talked about his family so it wasn’t a surprise that Remus didn’t know the name quickly.
“Is that Walburga’s twin?” Remus asked. “I think you or Regulus mentioned him. He’s not around much, yeah?”
“No, not much.” Sirius was trying to reapply his mask– scared that Remus would be able to see his anxiety about this topic– but Remus had this effect on Sirius that made it hard to keep the mask up. “We used to see him all the time when we were younger, Reggie and Me. He had a manor in Gordes that we’d basically live in during the Summer.”
“Gordes?”
“Fancy city in France.”
“Got it. Continue.”
“And he’d come to visit occasionally throughout the year as well.” Sirius picked at his nails before realising. He switched to twisting his rings. “I liked him. He was nice.”
“Good.” Remus smiled. “You could use some nice family members.”
Sirius snorted, “Damn right.”
“So, McGonagall knew Alphard?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said. “They were actually best friends.”
“Damn.” Remus’ eyes widened and he blew out a breath. “So, I guess he isn’t a blood supremist then?”
Sirius laughed, only slightly tight. “Apparently not.”
“Sirius,” Remus said softly. Sirius’ breath escaped him. He wanted Remus to always say his name like that . Like it, he , was that precious, but then Sirius remembered Micah and swallowed. “What’s up?”
“He wants to have a relationship with me.” Sirius rushed out, slumping down onto the trunk of his bed. “Well, he wants to apologise to me at least.”
“And how do you feel about that?” Remus asked, joining him. They were sitting so close.
“Happy?”
Remus nodded, “Okay. Want to say that with some surety then?”
Sirius smiled. “I’m… happy . I’m glad he wants to make an effort.”
“Mmhmm.” Remus still didn’t sound convinced. “So why are you playing with your rings?”
Sirius’ hands stilled. He frowned, looking down at them.
“We can keep going back and forth about this, Stars,” Remus continued and Sirius had to calm his heart from spiking at the nickname. “But I know you.”
“Do you?”
“Yes,” Remus crossed his arms, levelling Sirius with a flat look. “You like the fact that a family member actually might care about you and be a good person but you’re scared that they’re either not going to actually be good– which isn’t the case, seeing as McGonagall’s friends with him– or that they’re not going to like you.”
Sirius’ lips drew into a thin line.
“Sirius, that’s not going to happen.”
“But-”
“You’re family is fucking awful. You think that everyone and everything that came out of it was awful,” Remus said. “Including you. But you are wrong.”
“Moon-”
Remus cupped Sirius’ face, fully sandwiching it in between his two hands. Sirius’ breath hitched as he stared into Remus’ earnest, amber eyes.
“You. Are. Wrong.” Remus enunciated. “You are one of the few good things that came out of that family and if Alphard wants to make amends after regretting losing touch, then he probably already likes you, seeing as he waited until after you publicly separated from the Blacks.” Remus dropped his hands.
“But he’s still a Black.”
The words were spoken with such a soft, weak tone that Sirius visibly saw Remus as he processed them. The five words could easily be misinterpreted, Sirius thought. ‘But he’s still a Black’ could allude to all the Blacks stood for and the fact that Alphard was still a part of them meant he was inherently evil. It wasn’t what Sirius meant though. And Remus could tell. He was always able to read Sirius too well.
“You’re not scared of him still being a Black, Sirius.” Remus said softly, placing his hand on Sirius’. The touch grounded the latter boy. “You’re scared of liking a Black.”
Sirius bit his lip.
“But, it’s too late for that.” Remus smiled. “You like Regulus; he’s a Black. You like Andromeda; she’s now a Tonks but she used to be a Black. You like Narcissa; who used to be a Black. You even liked Bellatrix until she married. They were Blacks but they proved to be people that you still care about.”
Sirius huffed and crossed his arms. “I don’t like it when you know me so well.”
“Don’t get all pout-y.” Remus huffed out a laugh and tossed him the jumper he had dug out of his trunk, standing up. “Yes, you do.”
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in!” Remus called.
Marlene poked her head in and smiled, “Oh, great. You’re both here.” She let herself in. “Remus. Sirius, do either of you want to come with me to the Astronomy tower? I have homework I still need to do and I know that neither of you are taking the class but I don’t want to go up alone.”
“Sure,” Remus smiled easily. “Can I smoke?”
“I don’t care.” She turned to Sirius. “Sirius?”
“Nah,” Sirius shrugged. “‘Don’t care for Astronomy much.”
“Suit yourself.” She shrugged back. “I’ll wait downstairs, Remus.”
As soon as she left, Remus looked over at Sirius. “Why don’t you want to come?”
“Not a big fan of the subject.”
Remus snorted.
“Don’t like stargazing?” Remus asked, a slight tease to his voice as he reached for his cigarette box.
Sirius was probably expected to make some joke about looking at himself in the mirror– that’s what he’d usually do– so he surprised both of them when he instead said, “Not really, no.”
Remus faltered, studying Sirius. “Why not?”
“It reminds me of my family.” Sirius confessed, inspecting his chipped nail polish (Mary had insisted on painting them the other night). When Remus continued to not say anything, Sirius looked up. Remus had that far away look then, like when he was solving a problem in his brain, connecting dots or solving a puzzle.
Remus’ eyes refocused on Sirius. He nodded– a slight dip in the chin if anything– in understanding before saying a quick “see you later” and leaving.
Sirius let out a breath and quietly wandered over to the window, seeing a bunch of white dots that he knew all of the names of but didn’t care about. The only one he didn’t see was the only one he actually cared about.